Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What (5 page)

Read Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What Online

Authors: K.A. Merikan

Tags: #Romance, #love, #internet, #Gay, #ptsd, #doctor, #international, #abuse, #angst, #biker

BOOK: Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What
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Luca swallowed
and crooked his neck. “Make it work?”

“You’re young,
you speak English, you won’t be on your own.” Though Ghost still
wasn’t sure how they were supposed to talk now. They had shared
such tender words every day, but everything changed the moment they
saw each other’s faces.

Luca nodded,
slowly backing away. “Yeah, maybe.”

Ghost licked
his lips, already wishing to feel Luca’s again. This was going to
be pure torment, but he would be the bigger man and survive this.
“Let’s go get some sleep? We have a six hour drive tomorrow.”

Luca sighed and
slowly pulled the box with the engagement ring out of his pocket.
“Can I do anything?”

Ghost shrugged
and started walking back toward the club. The cool air did help him
calm down his mind despite the black hole in his heart. “Just don’t
disappear on me.”

“Ghost... the
ring?” whispered Luca, following him in silence.

“Keep it. It
goes with your bracelet. It’s not like I’m gonna give it to anyone
else.” He rubbed his eyes, happy for the darkness covering his
sorrow.

Luca’s hand
closed around his rapidly cooling fingers. “If I disappear, that
won’t be my decision, you know that?”

Ghost squeezed
him back, knowing they were approaching the club, so he’d have to
let go soon. It wasn’t even about Luca being male or female
anymore, Ghost just wanted to have this
person
close, and
touch them all the time, give them all the promised kisses.

“I won’t let
you disappear.”

Luca’s hand
slipped out of Ghost’s, but he stepped forward so they could walk
shoulder to shoulder. Ghost glanced at the small box in the
long-fingered hands. Luca popped it open, revealing the simple
silver ring with an onyx and a tiny diamond to accompany it. Even
in the darkness, the pristine jewel reflected every bit of light
that got to it. The piece was custom-made to go well with the
bracelet.

“That’s
beautiful.”

Ghost looked to
the ring with a long exhale. “The big onyx represents you, and the
diamond is so that you know I’m always around if you need me.”

Luca inhaled
sharply, and then his warm body pressed against Ghost’s, smooth
lips pressing against his, the fragrant, slightly scratchy skin
brushing his chin. It ended without any warning, with Luca pulling
away.

“Sorry,” he
whispered, pushing the ring on the tip of his ring finger.

Ghost reached
back to his own neck with a deep breath. He needed to contain this
somehow. “I’m not like the other guys, I’m not disgusted. But I’m
not gay either.”

“It’s fine,”
muttered Luca without looking at him. He gave up on trying to push
the ring on the correct finger and slid it on his left pinky. Ghost
couldn’t help a sad smile.

“So… how are
you liking the US?” he asked as they approached the club. The loud
metal music was already reaching their ears.

“Didn’t see
much yet,” said Luca. “I just landed the day before yesterday.
Frederico keeps me with him most of the time.”

“I’ll take you
somewhere, though there’s not much to see in Detroit. I want to get
to know this… new you.” Ghost dared to pat Luca on the shoulder as
they walked into the clubhouse through the back door, after getting
a small travel bag from Ghost’s motorbike.

“Same
here.”

It didn’t take
long for them to get a room assigned, and after a brief good-bye
from Tooth and Milk, they climbed to the first floor. The music was
loud enough to be felt through the floor, but Ghost was so tired
he’d still sleep like a baby. The room belonged to someone, as
there were personal items: posters of heavy metal bands, the
American flag above the bed, and even clothes in the wardrobe. But
what stood out the most in the small, cramped room was a single
king-size bed. This was a nightmare waiting to happen.

Ghost took off
his jacket and pulled a T-shirt out of his backpack. He knew Luca
was only left with the clothes on his back. “I kinda went by the
size from the photos, give or take.” He sighed and showed the blue
top to Luca. It had a print saying ‘The Age of Sleepless’, which
was a pun on the name of the game they met in―
The Age of
Endless
. The matching shorts had a pattern of futuristic guns.
Now, Ghost knew what a bad choice it was to buy something as
intimate as underwear or pajamas, yet he hoped Luca would find it
funny. The look on his handsome face made Ghost sigh with
relief.

“That’s so
sweet of you,” he said, accepting the pajamas. He turned them in
his hands, feeling the fabric. “Can I shower first?”

Ghost let out a
nervous laugh. “Yeah, of course. You don’t have to wear it either.
It’s probably too small. I have to reevaluate things.”

Luca smiled in
a way so charming Ghost couldn’t help but stare. He shrugged, and
walked into the bathroom, shutting the door without a word.

Ghost undressed
as fast as possible, to avoid awkwardness, but it didn’t help that
he’d only brought a pair of loose pajama pants, hoping to show off.
Why had he been so stupid? As the water buzzed in the shower, he
looked into the mirror in the wardrobe. He’d been hitting the gym
every day for a month since he’d heard about Zara coming to the
States. He’d even taken some condoms with him, in case things got
heated. But no matter the quality of his abs, there would be no use
for rubbers tonight.

He stiffened
when the water stopped in the bathroom. The door opened, and Luca
emerged in the blue pajamas, which were definitely too small for
him. At least the shorts did cover his cock as he looked at Ghost
with a wide grin. “All yours.”

Ghost just
stared, unsure what to do about such flirting. “I’m not sure that’s
appropriate,” he mumbled, but his gaze drifted to the lean muscles
of Luca’s thighs.

Luca raised his
eyebrows. “You just gave it to me.”

“N-no, I meant
the flirting.” Ghost cleared his throat. Though the way those
shorts showed off the shape of Luca’s dick wasn’t appropriate
either.

Luca frowned
and quickly walked over to the bed, slipping under the comforter.
“I meant the shower...”

Ghost hid his
face in his hand.
Oh God.
Of course he did. “Sorry, I
shouldn’t have presumed…”

“And how about
the pajamas you gave me? Is that appropriate?” asked Luca, burying
himself jaw-deep under the covers.

Ghost chuckled.
“Those guns on the shorts are kinda hot.” The smile died on his
lips. “God, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be joking like that. I’ll shower
in the morning.”

Luca sighed and
patted the other pillow. “It’s fine.”

Ghost climbed
under the covers, watching Luca’s gorgeous face from up close. It
was only now catching up with him that he was pulling Luca
completely out of his life and into an environment he didn’t know.
There needed to be some ways to make him feel more at home. “I’m
sure guys will be clamoring to date you in the US,” Ghost said.

The small smile
dropped from Luca’s lips, and he pulled his hair back, playing with
the edge of the pillow. “I don’t think I want to talk about
that.”

“Okay. Tell me
how you lost your finger,” Ghost asked to give himself an excuse to
touch Luca’s hand.

It slipped from
under the covers and into his hand. The place where the index
finger used to be was strangely blunt and empty, and while he had
seen injuries like this one many times, more often than not, the
finger could be reattached. But other than that, Luca’s right hand
was smooth and gorgeous, with well-groomed nails and long
fingers.

Luca swallowed
hard, hesitating before he finally gave in and spoke. “Frederico
cut it off.”

It was like a
stab to Ghost’s heart. He frowned and squeezed Luca’s hand, inching
closer to him. “What?”

Luca exhaled,
pressing his cheek deeper into the pillow. “He doesn’t look it, but
he has a temper, so I try to keep him happy. But this one time I
was really a nervous wreck, and we had an argument. He said he
didn’t like my tone and the way I was shaking my finger at him, so
he made me learn my lesson the hard way.” Luca’s big, sad eyes
glanced at Ghost from up close. “He had his henchman, Antonio, hold
me down and cut it off with the ham-carving knife. I don’t know
what he did with the finger. At least it’s the right hand,” he
said, and Ghost immediately understood. Zara had told him she was
left-handed.

That was it.
Ghost couldn’t take hearing that and stay at a distance. He slid
close to Luca and hugged him tight. It would just be an asexual
hug. Just that. “That’s horrendous. I’m so sorry,” he whispered and
stroked Luca’s hair. It had a slightly coarse texture and Ghost
closed his eyes, trying to imagine Luca as the Zara from his
dreams. It was no use. The body in his arms was hot, sturdy, and
more bulky than a girl’s. Luca’s stubble scratched his shoulder,
and there was nothing feminine about the earthy, masculine scent of
Luca’s skin.

“It’s all
right. If there’s anyone really, completely different from him,
it’s you.” Luca brushed his chin over Ghost’s neck.

Ghost’s heart
ached for Luca so much he had to bite his lips for a moment. “It’s
not all right. That monster had no right to hurt you. Why didn’t
you tell me before?”

Luca sighed,
pulling closer. “I told you he’s dangerous. You have no idea. I
didn’t want you to do anything reckless.”

“Too late now.
Is this weird? Can I hug you this way? I don’t want you to feel
uncomfortable. I just… need you close.”

“You can get as
close as you want,” whispered Luca, slowly slipping his arms around
Ghost’s neck.

Heat began
climbing up Ghost’s face all too fast. That invitation was messing
with his head, bringing to mind the uncountable chats about sex
they’d had. He should have known something was up when Zara told
him how much she was into blowjobs. And now it wasn’t the girl from
the picture whom Ghost imagined going down on him, but the guy in
his arms, with the pretty lips and lovely hair.

He didn’t say
anything, and just held Luca close, trying not to get a boner. It
was a futile attempt, because the more he tried not to think about
it, the more his mind traveled to the phantom fingers brushing up
and down his thighs, the stubble scratching the skin of his
stomach, just above his already stiff cock. And then that mouth
would close around him in just the way Zara described.

Ghost needed to
pretend he was falling asleep. That was the only way out.

 

*

 

Ghost awoke to
darkness, with soft fingers brushing across his stomach, gently
circling his navel only to go lower and toy with the waistband of
his pajama bottoms. His breath sped up, and his eyes popped open,
meeting Luca’s half-lidded gaze, all smolder and dark eyelashes. He
didn’t even know how to protest when that coarse hair brushed his
cheek, and Luca pressed his sweet, tender lips against Ghost’s. The
kiss pinned him down, defenseless against the storm of emotions
going through his body.

“I shouldn’t…”
Ghost whispered into the kiss, as his fingers reached for Luca’s
body on their own accord.

Lucas’s breath
danced over his lips. “I need your hands on me. It’s been so long,”
Luca whispered, using the exact words from a conversation they’d
had recently.

“I’m here,
baby.” Ghost let his hands slide down the body he was only now
discovering―lean and strong. He hesitated when he reached Luca’s
lower back, but pushed past the uncertainty, and straight into
Luca’s boxers. That ass was so unbelievably firm, but his focus
shifted back to the glorious lips when Luca started kissing his way
down Ghost’s neck on the way south.

Ghost’s heart
thudded in his chest like it was about to escape, and he could
barely breathe. Every kiss more intense, branding his body so it
would never belong to anyone else.

He met Luca’s
dark, intense eyes as his handsome face slid farther down Ghost’s
torso, leaving a trail of wet, openmouthed kisses on the way to
Ghost’s already hard cock. The short stubble tickled Ghost’s skin
until Luca’s chin hit the waistband, and he smiled before lapping
along the fabric.

 

Ghost woke up
sweaty, with a raging hard-on against Luca’s hip.
Fuck
. He
took a deep breath, trying to untangle himself from the attractive,
yet all too male, body. And then, in the worst possible moment,
those big, beautiful eyes opened and looked at him in the
darkness.

Ghost
swallowed. “I’m sorry, I had a dream, go to sleep.”

Luca’s smell
wasn’t helping him calm down either. Fresh, but somewhat musky, it
injected itself into his system and made him all fidgety.

Luca nodded and
closed his eyes, pushing his head on Ghost’s arm. The worst thing
was that it felt like it belonged there. What was Ghost supposed to
do? He considered sliding out and jerking off in the bathroom,
because his dick was beginning to throb with the amount of
excitement pumped down to it. He needed to escape this scorching
torment, but Luca behaved as if he couldn’t feel his hard-on at
all, which was impossible in the position they were in.

A sinister
voice in Ghost’s mind suggested: ‘You could slowly rub against him,
he’s sleeping anyway’, but Ghost knew he couldn’t breach Luca’s
trust like that. He took a deep breath and pulled away to the edge
of the bed before getting up. Luca turned around and faced away
from Ghost under the comforter, curling up into the fetal
position.

This was a
disaster. He’d probably made Luca uncomfortable. Ghost rushed out
of the room into a surprisingly quiet corridor, and went all the
way to the bathroom a few rooms away. He couldn’t have Luca
listening to him jerk off.

He closed the
door and stared into the dirty mirror above the sink. His pale skin
was as red as it could get without serious sunburn, and he was
breathing as if he had just run a marathon, not the length of the
corridor.

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