Shackles of Honor (57 page)

Even Mathias seemed to notice the change in his master, though the dog was the one soul on earth, other than Lady Carlisle, that Mason still acknowledged. Dear Mathias. The sweet-spirited dog seemed to sense his master’s abandonment of his betrothed, for he had taken to following Cassidy about as he did Mason whe
n his master was at home. Often
she would awaken to find him sitting at the foot of her bed, panting contentedly as he looked at her, apparently waiting for her to awaken.

Katie was ever comforting as well, but she was busy with her new responsibilities as wife, and even Lord LaMont Carlisle’s death had not seemed to dampen her joy in having her Thomas.

Cassidy wrote to Ellis and begged him to visit her, but she was disappointed in so many ways upon receiving a letter from him one day. Havroneck had handed it to her immediately
,
and she paused just outside Lady Carlisle’s sitting room to read the disappointment.

Darling Cass,

Sweet sister of mine…how I wish that I could dash to your side in your time of such great trial and loneliness! Alas, Father has me, in fact, sequestered on business here in Haggarty. There are other reasons that I cannot now attend you. I feel as a coward, a failure to you! Please know that I will come as soon as I am allowed.

I suppose Lord Carlisle’s death and the title and responsibility falling to Mason has urged Father to be certain that I am ready to do the same, should similar hellish events transpire in our family. I think it’s why he is so demanding upon me at this time.

So I will away to you as soon as possible. And if it will help your mind to be occupied to have something of Ellis to ponder…I admit it to you now…my eye has been captured by a member of your tender gender. Who? you ask. Ah, dear brat…that is for me to know!

Soon at your side, darling.

Love Ever,

Ellis

Her disappointment and loneliness were deep as she refolded the letter and tucked it in the pocket of her dress. Intending to ignore Mason’s command and set out on a walk alone and without notifying anyone, Cassidy paused as she heard Devonna’s voice coming from the sitting room. Devonna’s and then Mason’s. Carefully she slipped closer to the door until she could hear them more plainly. Wincing at her own lack of virtue yet again, she listened.

“I know you’re frightened, son,” Devonna urged kindly. “But…but you must understand that a woman
—
especially when she is out of her own element…alone, as she perceives it
—
a woman needs certain reassurances…certain strengths that begin to evade her the longer the situation draws itself out.”

“I’m frightened of nothing, Mother. And well you should know that,” Mason growled. “Besides that fact, I’ve no time for…for fulfilling these needs of my strength that you perceive the girl having. Father’s responsibilities
—
”

“Oh, hang your father’s responsibilities, Mason!” the woman suddenly exclaimed. “They’re your excuse now. You hide yourself away from the girl, hoping that if you keep yourself so intent on your business affairs
,
you will not be tempted to
—
”

“I’m tempted at nothing!” he shouted.

“Do not dare to raise your voice to me in such a manner, Mason,” Devonna scolded firmly and in a completely controlled intonation. “You will hear me out…for I do know you perhaps better than you know yourself. I’ve touched a sensitive, tender place with you…else you would never have spoken so disrespectfully to me. I know that your temperament is often quick…but to raise your voice to me as such in this given situation is unacceptable. So you grit your teeth and hold your tongue as tightly as you can
,
and let me finish!”

Mason was silent.

Devonna sighed heavily and began in a lowered voice, “She is alone here, Mason. Alone save for the company of you. You…the most attractive and sought
-
after of men. You
,
from whom women compete for favor as if you were the very last man available to them on this earth. You
,
who have strength in being familiar with your surroundings and acquaintances. You
,
who she still feels resents her and with whom she is hopelessly and incurably in love.”

Cassidy gasped audibly, clamping her hand quickly over her mouth save she should give herself away. She was betrayed! How could Lady Carlisle reveal her knowledge of Cassidy’s love for her son? How?

“That is ridiculous, Mother. She
—
”

“Hear me out, Mason. Do not insult me by assuming that I am naive to the situation in which we all find ourselves!” Devonna inhaled deeply
and
then continued, “You’ve held her in the strength and protection of your arms, have you not? I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve seen in your eyes a passion that
—
”

“I do not see what that
—
” Mason interrupted angrily.

“Do not interrupt your mother. You have made love to her
,
and I say to you, bravo for doing something right where the girl is concerned!”

“I cannot believe my ears! What is the point of this conversation, Mother?” he nearly shouted. “I’ve business to attend.”

Devonna did not scold him for his tone toward her but rather continued, “The point is, when is the last time she drew her own strength from you, Mason? When did you last endeavor to comfort her? To reassure her that she is safe, welcome, and
,
yes
,
wanted here?”

“She does not need me so much as you imagine, Mother,” he muttered in a somewhat dejected manner.

“Does she not? Then you’ve not been watching her as have I.”

“I watch her continually, Mother. How could I do otherwise?”

“You have been watching her, yes. I’ve no doubt of that. But have you been observing her from an emotionally calm viewpoint? Do you remember her confidence when she first came? Her graceful carriage? She had an expression of strength and security in who she was. But now…now she enters a room
,
and her eyes often dart this way and that so as to avoid looking directly at anyone. More of the time than not she stands back against the wall in any given room…has her arms tightly entwined with each other around her waist…fidgets self-consciously with her hair or clothing. I’ve seen the tears filling her eyes several times a day. Please tell me you have not missed all these changes.”

“She’s unhappy. Of course her manner would have changed,” Mason offered.

“She’s unhappy, yes. But not for the reasons you still justify. In her own home she was loved, and she knew it. She was embraced, most likely several times a day, by loving parents or her brother. Encouraged so that she knew she was a good person, a desirable companion. Human beings need affection, Mason. Without it they grow sad and cold within. Cassidy is frightened of being the cause of your lifelong unhappiness. She is devastated with the knowledge that she must ever love you and never have that love returned.”

“What nonsense you women talk!” he suddenly exploded. “You sound like Gabrielle! Ever going on and on about how miserable the girl is! Forcing upon me books of poetry in hopes of inspiring me toward the girl. What about me, Mother? Has my well-being ever once crossed your mind? Do you spend many a sleepless night over the fact that I
—
”

“For twenty-three years I’ve had sleepless nights born
e
of worry for you, my love. Do not patronize me
.
” Devonna’s tone was firm. After a moment
,
she continued, “I know that Cassidy…that she is a temptation to you, Mason. Do not suppose that I do not pity you as much as I do her. But you are a strong and moral man. You will not…act inappropriately. Furthermore, this is your house. You are in familiar, secure surroundings.”

“She tempts me beyond that which mortal man should be tempted, Mother. Fear not, for I would never falter and compromise her virtue. But I can never again weaken toward her in the least. For then…then my life would leave its organized state immediately as every deed I need perform would be put second to my preoccupation with a woman! Is that what you wish, Mother? To see me conquered?”

“Do not be ridiculous, Mason. Of course not! And well you should know that a woman can be a man’s strength…”

Cassidy could listen no more. Hurrying away from the door, she wondered how many other conversations had taken place in Lady Carlisle’s sitting room that concerned her. Many, many more than she ever cared to know about, it was certain. To have heard the lady trying to convince her son to give attention to his betrothed—Cassidy was humiliated! And had she really changed so much? Surely she had. She knew it to be true. How often, if ever, did she in fact smile
?
she wondered. How could a man find a woman attractive who wore
a sour expression at all times, w
hose brow would be prematurely wrinkled from frowning and torrents of tears?

The hour was late
,
and she would retire. It was her only respite. Sleep. Escape from conscious heartache and loss, though her dreams often mirrored the events in her life. Sleep would comfort her.

But where was Mathias? Each night since Mason had ordered it
,
Mathias had slept in Cassidy’s chamber, ever the faithful protector. Yet now, he did not come when she called for him. He seemed to be nowhere in the house. And even when she called for him outside, pausing to note the beauty of the stars in the sky, he did not come. Cassidy could only assume that whatever had kept him from her company in the daytime was responsible for his absence this night.

For a moment, a deep sense of foreboding began to rise within Cassidy. However, having heard the conversation between Mason and his mother, she did not desire to appear weak before him. Surely she would be safe for one night without Mathias near. Besides, Mason would be across the hall
,
and there had been no disturbing incidents for some time…since Lord Carlisle’s death.



Cassidy leapt up from her bed, terror being her only motivation, and dashed out of her chamber and across the hall to Mason’s. Without even knocking and asking permission to intrude, her trembling hands struggled with the large latch of the door, finally freeing it. She pushed open the great slab of oak and stumbled into the room, closing the door quietly, but securely, behind her. Immediately she saw Mason asleep on the bed. He did not wear a nightshirt but had obviously fallen asleep in his trousers. Going quickly to the bed, she tried to calm herself with the knowledge that he was near.

Should I wake him?
she mused. Surely she should. After all, someone had come into her room only moments before
—not a ghost, b
ut a stranger. Someone who may have meant to harm her!

She had wakened suddenly, with an oppressive sensation of foreboding, to see a dark figure standing in one corner of her room. When the figure then moved, proving itself more than an imaginary manifestation, she did not pause to be stricken paralyzed with fear.

She reached out and pushed gently on Mason’s leg. He was lying the width of the bed instead of its length. His feet hung off its side in her direction. “Mason?” she prodded in a whisper, glancing nervously at the closed door to ensure it still served as protection. He did not stir, however, and her fear and uncertainty overtook her.

She did not touch him again nor call out in a louder voice. Rather she began to weep with anxiety and, turning from him, sat down on the rug on the floor next to his bed, drew her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly, and buried her tear-stained face in her nightdress as she wept quietly. Again she glanced quickly at the door and imagined for a moment that the latch was slowly turning. Shaking her head and closing her eyes for a moment, she looked again to see that it remained unmoving. She wondered, as she had earlier, what had become of Mathias, for he would surely have heard the intruder enter her chamber and would have alerted his master to the danger.