Shackles of Honor (58 page)

“What are you doing in here?” So startled was Cassidy at the sound of Mason’s voice that a quiet gasp escaped her lungs. Brushing the tears from her cheeks quickly, she turned to see him sitting up on the side of his bed, hair tousled, blurry-eyed
,
and frowning down at her. “What’s the matter?”

“I…I…” she tried to explain. But her fear caused her words to be lost somewhere between her brain and her lips
,
and she could only sit, looking up at him with tear-stained cheeks.

Immediately he seemed to become fully alert
,
and his frown deepened. “Tell me!” he demanded, reaching down and taking hold of her arm.

“There…there was someone in my room,” she managed to spit out. “Someone standing in the corner near the looking glass!”

“Who?” he asked.

Cassidy shook her head and tried to force out her words. “I…I do not know! I do not know. But he was there. I swear it to you! It was not my imagination. He moved toward me!”

Mason pulled her to her feet and studied her face until she could stand his scrutiny no longer and turned her head from him. He still held her arm firmly.

“Stay here,” he ordered, striding toward the door. Before she could argue in defense of his safety, he was gone, closing the door behind himself and leaving her alone in the room. It seemed an eternity that he was gone, but Cassidy knew it was only moments. Still, she looked about the room, expecting at any moment to see someone lurking in one corner. Mason returned shortly, closing the door behind him once more.

“There is no one there,” he said flatly.

“Someone was there. I swear it to you,” she assured him.

Suddenly she felt foolish for panicking and running to him. Perhaps it had simply been her imagination that had conjured up the apparition. His scrutinizing gaze was too much to tolerate
,
and she pushed past him quickly, making for the door and escape. But he caught hold of her arm, hampering her attempted departure.

“Hold here for a moment, Cassidy,” he mumbled. She turned to look at him, feeling foolish as a child being scolded for irrational fears.

“You don’t believe me. You think I only dreamed it. But someone was there! I was wide awake when I saw him,” she defended herself.

“I didn’t say that I don’t believe you. I simply said there is no one about in the room now. Further, where is Mathias? Why isn’t he with you? And how did someone gain access to your chamber when you have a bolt therein? Did you not secure it?”

Cassidy pulled her arm from his grasp and cast her eyes to the floor as the hot sting of tears moistened her eyes. “I confess to you that I could not find Mathias when I sought him, and the bolt would not secure properly,” she responded in a meek whisper.

“Why didn’t you come to me immediately when Mathias was not to be found?” he growled. Without allowing her to answer, he demanded, “And when you discovered the bolt would not lock, why didn’t you inform me even then?”

Cassidy, no longer able to endure his chastisement in addition to the lingering terror engulfing her, sobbed, “You were in private conversation with your mother. I did not feel I could presume to interrupt.”

“Foolish girl!” he shouted. “Did you not realize the possible ramifications of suffering yourself to retire unprotected? Truly you cannot think me callous enough that I would consider anything of greater importance than your safety!”

Cassidy buried her face in her hands and wept bitterly, unable to respond to Mason’s outburst. Mason sighed heavily and drew Cassidy into the warm comfort of his protective embrace.

“You tremble even yet, girl,” he mumbled compassionately. “I’m sorry I spoke so harshly. This…that someone would intrude on you
,
that you were in danger, unsettles me beyond your willingness to comprehend.”

He held her tenderly, providing solace for long moments before he released her, strode to his door
,
and drew the bolt. Cassidy’s eyes widened in astonishment at his next words.

“You will sleep with me the remainder of this night,” he ordered, returning to stand just before her. “And on the morrow we will fully investigate your chamber for some indications as to what has happened.”

“Stay here? With you?” She nearly choked on the words so surprised was she at his suggestion. Her previous distress was subjugated by utter astonishment. “I cannot possibly stay the night in your chamber! It just is not done.”

He grinned amusedly and answered, “Oh, believe me, sweet
p
udding, when I tell you that it is done. And often, in other residences. You and I are just from families with a different moral ethic.”

“How dare you speak of such…things to me! You know perfectly well that I cannot stay here with you.”

“Your virtue is in no danger. If that is what sparks you to such prudence…do not let it worry you,” he said mockingly.

“I know perfectly well how safe my virtue is in your presence.” A dull aching had begun in her bosom at the admission, yet she strove to defend herself still. “But should anyone witness this…my reputation would be tarnished in the least.”

“If your precious reputation is of utmost importance to you, why then did you come to my chamber in the middle of the night?” he nearly shouted, suddenly angry.

“I didn’t intend to worm my way into your bed, if that is what you are implying!” she cried out.

“Indeed, Miss Shea?” he taunted, raising one eyebrow.

“Indeed, Lord Carlisle!” she averred. “I apologize that in a cursed moment of weakness I turned to you. Believe me, sir, when I say that it will not happen again.”

Turning and dashing to the door, she began to struggle with the bolt, but it was a difficult contraption
,
and in a moment Mason’s large hand covered hers that struggled with the awkward contrivance. “You must always come to me for anything you need, Cassidy,” he mumbled lowly from behind her. She placed her palms on the large door before her and laid her forehead defeatedly to it as well. “You must trust in the knowledge that I am nothing if not your protector—your provider and champion.” His breath was warm on her neck as he bent to speak the words quietly and more directly into her ear.

She turned to face him as he straightened to his full height. Again she noted that he wore only trousers, and it unnerved her greatly to be locked in his chamber, alone with him, she in her nightdress and bare feet and he in nothing but his trousers. She leaned back against the door in a vain attempt to distance herself further from him. His gaze was intent on her
,
and she noticed that his eyes traveled the length of her body and up once more, an entertained grin spreading across his features.

“There
was
someone in my chamber,” she told him firmly.

He nodded and chuckled slightly. “I know that for certain. For never would you have appeared thus before me in my chamber had there not truly been some threat.” He reached out and took a strand of her hair loosely in his hand, caressing its length with his fingers. “You look…inviting. I’m thus further encouraged in my expectations of those intimacies between us that will come to pass.”

Cassidy moved to slap his face for his implicative words, though she relished his attention, for it had been absent for so long. But he easily caught her hand, retaining it with his own.

“But it must be that I should save my role as your lover for another night and reconcile myself to being merely your protector on this one.”

Cassidy’s jaw dropped and her mouth gaped open slightly in astonishment at his words. “How dare you!” she breathed.

He continued to be amused by her reactions
, and
placing his palms on the door above her head and on either side of it, he leaned forward and whispered, “It has been far too long since we have had any dalliance together. Is that not true?”

“You have your life, I have mine,” she stammered. However desperately she craved his attention, his glance, his kiss, the weeks that had passed since his father’s death had caused her to doubt his interest in her. She felt the need to provoke him as she had before.

“‘I now pronounce you man and
wife,’ he will say.
‘You may kiss the bride,’
he will instruct me.” Cassidy tried to press her body back harder against the door, for Mason’s face was merely a breath away from her own now as he talked lowly to her. “Then I will kiss you, Miss Shea. Oh, but not thoroughly, you understand, for there will be too many prying eyes there. So I’
ll kiss you quickly
but well. Then we will exit the church and ride away in our magnificent wedding coach, which will carry us to whichever place we choose to be our blissful retreat. Then I’ll lead you by the hand, no doubt kicking and screaming, into that chamber
that
we will share. And I’ll bolt the door solidly behind you, as I have done this night.”

His voice was deep, sultry, and Cassidy felt her breathing quicken though she tried to retain the anger she held for him at his mocking her.

“You will, of course, be as afraid and untrusting of me as you are now…more so, no doubt
. B
ut it is then that I’ll kiss you thoroughly…proving to you that you have nothing to fear at my hand…yes, thoroughly kiss you, for a length of time to be later determined, before I take you in my arms, thus.”

Cassidy was mesmerized by his words, by his expression and profound good looks, so that in that next moment, when he gathered her into his arms and began walking toward his bed, she could do no more than struggle slightly and stare hypnotically into his eyes.

“And cradling you as such,” he continued as he stood next to his own bed, “I will carry you, as I’ve only just done, to whatever bed in the world we choose to be our first…and I’ll place you there, tenderly
,
of course…for, though you look skeptical, I can show tenderness
. A
nd there, my Bliss, you will learn.”

Mason dropped Cassidy rather abruptly onto his bed and stood looming over her for a long moment. He then leaned over, placing a fist
at either side of her waist, and
supporting himself on muscular arms, he bent toward her
,
whispering, “There you will learn just what a superior lover you have captured for yourself.” Cassidy’s mouth gaped open once more at his far too intimate verbiage. But he only smiled and said, “A good
-
night kiss, you ask? Certainly. I am happy to oblige you in any way that I can.”

Before she could move to escape him, his mouth had taken her own in a warm and passionately driven kiss. After several long moments, however, Cassidy recalled the conversation she had overheard in Lady Carlisle’s sitting room. Again, a woman had instructed Mason to comfort her. Again, he did not do so of his own volition but at the urging of his mother. So with everything she was battling between wanting his kiss more than anything on the earth, wanting his arms around her eternally, yet striving to stay afloat in reality, she placed her hands to his cheeks and pushed his mouth from her own.

“Please do not tease me so,” she whispered.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her
,
and in the next instant, he stood tall and straight at the side of the bed once more. “Sleep there in my bed tonight so that you may indeed rest,” he commanded. “You must always place your trust, your confidence, in me, Cassidy. For care for me or not…I will ever be your means of protection and strength, as I’ve expected and do expect your strength to be mine in time of need. We will live a long and sadly empty life together if you cannot finally and at last completely place your trust in me.” He settled himself in the large upholstered chair that stood near the hearth.

“I…I do trust in your ability to protect me. In your desire to serve duty and do so,” she began. “But don’t think me such a fool as to believe that my simply trusting you will prevent your life with me from being a long and sadly empty one, sir.” He did not offer any response other than to glance at her once more before sighing deeply and closing his eyes.

Cassidy turned from him to hide her tears and wept bitterly into the down pillow that smelled so completely of Mason Carlisle. “At least,” she whispered to herself just before fatigue overtook her consciousness, “at least I know you will keep me safe.”