Shades of Truth (The Summerlynn Secrets) (40 page)

“You said you didn’t have time for languishing!”

“I changed my mind.” When he lifted his head toward mine, I reached for his face.

Gently, I ran my finger along one of his marvelous cheekbones and down his cheek, enjoying the scrape of stubble. My forefinger slipped beneath his jaw, his muscles contracting as he swallowed.

Sorin was unnaturally still against me, as if fearing any move would frighten me away. Though his eyes were half closed, the hands at my waist gripped tight. I felt each separate indention of his fingers above my hip.

Softly, I pressed my lips against his mouth. Instantly, my senses went on high alert, especially the ones connected to my mouth. His body was sleep warmed, as I found when my hands slipped beneath his shirt. Though our mouths were chaste, my hands weren’t.

One of my fingers found the edge of his ribcage, so I lightly skimmed that area with my nails. His back was strongly muscled, and flexed beneath every brush of my hands. My breath whooshed out as I opened my mouth against his, my tongue tracing the outside of his mouth. He parted his lips when my tongue pressed for entry and allowed another long moment of exploration before swirling his tongue around mine.

As if an internal timer had gone off, Sorin came alive. With a single, smooth movement, I was swept from my side to my back beneath him. One of his knees pressed between my thighs, drawing the material of my nightgown tight. His arms were rigid beneath my shoulders, one hand reaching to cup the back of my head.

Our mouths fused together, our breathing synchronized. This passionate intensity is what frightened me. When I kissed Sorin, the world ceased being so bland and instead became a vivid portrait of possibility. I could lose myself in him, in all he told me with each touch, with each glorious kiss. In his arms, there was no such thing as espionage or secrets. There was only he and I.

And, it appeared, another maid.

Hearing a startled exclamation, our mouths parted with a sudden pop as Sorin raised his head to look over the back of the couch at whoever entered the library.

“Is my father looking for me?” His voice was gruff.

“Yes, Your Highness.” The female voice was tentative.

“Excellent. Please tell him I will be along shortly.” Sorin looked at the door until it thudded shut. Then he looked down at me, still beneath him. “You, sweetheart, are a distraction with a capital D.” There was a special brilliance in his eyes when he looked at me.

“I thought I was to kiss you,” I reminded, testing the strength of his grip. His knee kept my legs pinioned and his hand remained behind my head, his thumb running along the shell of my ear.

“And you did a marvelous job.”

“But I’d barely begun.” I stuck my lower lip out in a pout. I was in a strangely playful mood. Maybe it was the fact I knew he could not stay and argue the point. When the king demanded one’s presence, one went immediately.

“Then I look forward to finishing that kiss in the future.” His eyes fastened on my mouth again, on my jutting lower lip.

“Sorin, you have to go.” I stopped pouting. If he kissed me again, I would forget my name.

“I know
. “ His eyes closed briefly. “Before I go, I will have your promise you will not leave today.”

I knew this was coming and still it caught me by surprise. “Why not?” His finger across my mouth stilled my lips.

“I would appreciate a day not spent worrying you will be gone the instant my back is turned.”

“Is that what you are always thinking about? Ways to detain me?” I teased, enjoying the new ease in our relationship. Something passed between us last night. He accepted I would go, I accepted he would allow me.

“Partly. The other half of my brain is occupied with ideas to show you rather secluded areas of the palace.”

I laughed. “I would not be difficult to persuade.”

“Which is why I shall leave at once.” Sorin stood, and I watched the ripple of his body straightening.

I sat, deciding I, too, had things to do. Looking up, I noticed Sorin staring at me, an unfathomable emotion in his eyes. “Yes?”

“There is something I must tell you.” All traces of emotion leeched from his voice.

I didn’t like the sound of that. “Which is?” When he didn’t immediately answer, I prompted, “Is there a problem?”

“I am uncertain how to say this.”

“Words would help.” I noticed his hand weren’t quite steady as he played with the hem of his untucked shirt. I wondered what he was doing until it dawned on me he was nervous. The always supremely self assured Sorin North was nervous! Of course, that only made me worry what he had to tell me was horrific.

“Until last week, your father has been held for questioning outside Sal de Mar.”

Ah. Sorin’s mystery journey of last week was now explained. The rush of anger inside me forced me to my feet. “I cannot believe—you lied—I don’t understand—“ I broke off as the words tangled. “You told me he was dead.”

“He might be.”

I calmed myself. “You said ‘until last week.’ Where is he now?” I waited, unable to breathe for fear of his answer.

“We don’t know.” I couldn’t tell if he spoke the truth or if this was another lie.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You don’t just lose a prisoner!” My voice increased in volume. “If you killed him, I will tear you into so many pieces, they’ll never find them all!”

“Cadrian—”

I cut him off with a slash of my hand. “This, this is so far beyond anything I expected from you. I do not even know you.” The deadly edge in my voice was unrecognizable.

“I had to protect you.”

“No. You had to protect yourself.” I discovered my hands were unsteady so I balled them into fists. I’d never been so angry that my body shook and my knees threatened to buckle.

He didn’t answer. I continued stomping around the room. Though it was early, I didn’t care. I was furious and it’s time the Norths knew it.

I turned. A good ten feet separated us. “Why did you lie to me?” It was best to understand the entire situation before murdering him. That way, I could be defended in court during the murder trial.

“Your father threatened your life. I lied to keep you safe.”

My mouth dropped open. Then I remembered Sorin was probably lying. “Try again.”

“It is in your best interests to conduct yourself as if he were dead.” He took two steps toward me but I stopped him with an upraised hand.

“Unless you wish to die in the next minute, I suggest you tell me exactly where my father is and why I must pretend he’s dead. “ Sixty seconds seemed fair when my fingers wanted to wrap around his neck and squeeze until the feeling of betrayal left my throat.

“Your father is somewhere in Goran. He escaped shortly after I saw him last week. He left a note informing us if we pursued him, you would die.”

“Why send a letter asking me to meet him?”

“That letter is a warning about the consequences if we hunt him down. You were never meant to see it.” He sounded so confident that I felt wrong denying it.

“No. I was meant to see that letter and go to him because obviously, you and your family are not to be trusted.” I was more thankful than ever I hadn’t told Sorin about the map. “He wants me to leave as quickly as possible.”

He stepped closer toward me. “You can’t mean to trust the very man who handed you over so easily and has now threatened your life.”

“Who else can I trust?”

“Me,” he offered, stepping still closer. The original ten feet dwindled to five.

“You?” I laughed, a derisive sound. “The man who thinks truth is nothing more than an inconvenience? Or is it the man who whispers sweet nothings in my ear, hoping I will reveal all I know?”

His voice flattened. “This has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”

“I don’t care. I want nothing more to do with you.” I frowned. “I will leave immediately.”

Pain flashed through his eyes. “It is not safe. Stay.”

Again, I wondered why it mattered that I stay in the palace. Then it dawned on me. If he couldn’t search for my father, he would have to find a way to bring him to the palace. “You are using me as bait.”

He sighed. “Your father wants the pendant. You have the pendant. Of course he’ll come, or attempt to lure you to him.”

Reaching for the decorative knickknack on the table beside me, I calmly turned and threw it at the wall. Then I systematically threw everything on the side table, including the book he’d been reading last night, against the wall.

Destroying his things didn’t satisfy. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to scrape my fingernails down the length of his cheek, kick him between the legs and shove him face first into the fireplace. I wanted him to hurt, to feel the yawning hole in my soul as I realized nothing with Sorin had ever been real.

But doing any of those things would reveal how deeply hurt I was at this final betrayal.

“I want you to leave.”

“This is my home and I want to stay.” Folding his arms, he settled in for an argument over whether or not he should leave.

Fine. With firm strides, I made a wide circuit around Sorin, holding his gaze up until the moment I slipped through the door. It was only once I closed it that I began to run.

Before I’d been hesitant to leave, believing Sorin might actually care for me. Now knowing he was using me as bait for my father, leaving brought only a faint sense of relief and none of the pain I expected. Later, I suppose, when my feelings thawed, I’d cry for all the shards of my heart lying on the floor of the library.

At least I had a destination and would not be blindly running through the countryside. In the Obtrusive Mountains that separated Goran from Bolien, I would find the Galeon Pass. From there, perhaps, the map would cease being static and take on the characteristics of the land it was meant to portray.

My conscience chose that moment to curl back the bleeding edge of my heart. I couldn’t disappear without saying goodbye to Cassie and Rob. They at least, had been nothing but open and affectionate with me. As for Sorin, he didn’t deserve so much as a farewell smile.

I stood before the closed, polished oak door, thinking of all the things I should say, knowing instead what I would say. I still couldn’t believe he’d had the audacity to order a footman to shadow me after I left the library. Once it became clear I intended to leave (my goodbyes to Rob and Cassie being noticed), I was nicely, but firmly, escorted to the blue drawing room.

Sorin awaited me inside. Somehow, I didn’t think this goodbye would pass as quietly or as nicely as my goodbyes with Cassie and Rob. Cassie hugged and kissed me, telling me she wished things were different but understood my need to return home to Chester (the official reason for leaving involved a massive case of homesickness. I couldn’t very well tell everyone it was either leaving or murdering the crown prince). The king was not in, and I didn’t mind skipping him.

My conversation with Rob mainly revolved around my foolishness in leaving alone. He offered to accompany me, which I refused, leading to another argument about unwise decisions. It seemed easier to end the discussion before I was locked in my room. We hugged, and promised to write. Even as I said it, I knew I wouldn’t. Once gone, I would allow no further contact with the Norths. It was too dangerous for a variety of reasons.

Sorin. His name echoed in my mind, resulting in a very complicated rush of emotions. Mostly I was angry with his inability to tell the truth about even the most mundane things. Allowing me to believe my father was dead was so far beyond the realms of my understanding. Why lie about that? If he loved me, he owed me the truth.

But he didn’t love me. I needed to remember that.

Did my father really threaten my life? Maybe. That would explain why Sorin gave up the search and sought to lure my father to the palace using me. I wondered if Father told him about the map and the book I now had but did Father know I had both?

Nothing made sense, least of all my own attachment to Sorin. Though it was buried beneath a wealth of hurt, anger and betrayal, I loved him. When I held my breath, I felt the tiny flutterings of those feelings at the bottom of my heart. I couldn’t stop loving him because I didn’t like him at the moment. Deep down, I knew Sorin was a good man. He’d simply made poor decisions.

Quietly, I pushed the door open.

The man causing an earthquake in my heart stood across from me, hands clasped behind his back. Perfectly tailored in a dark blue coat, brown striped waistcoat, and casual brown trousers, the man was indecently handsome. With one look, I remembered all the times his mouth touched mine.

This is exactly why I should have left without seeing him. I could have slipped out when the footman’s back was turned, or disguised myself as a maid and left through the servant’s stairs, or even walked through the front door, claiming a shopping trip. Anything to save me from the most painful goodbye of my life.

“You have three minutes before I leave.” I checked the clock on the mantle.

“Three minutes is not nearly enough.” His voice was carefully controlled, light even.

“It’s more than you deserve.” Anger soaked syllables left my mouth.