Shadow of the Wolf (4 page)

     “Why are you staring at me?”

     “I’m just studying you.  You’re very different from the other men I’ve dated or been friends with,” she admitted.

    
He cocked his eyebrow.  “Oh?  Am I that fascinating of a subject?”  He took a sip of coffee.

     “Yes.  You are.”

     Trevor swallowed his coffee too fast and it burned going down.  He waited until the burning stopped before speaking. “I’m just me.”

     “And there’s nothing wrong with
that.  It sounds like you’re apologizing for being you.”

     You have no idea,
he thought.  She was an insightful woman.

    
Trevor finished his coffee and got up off the couch.  “Sometimes,” he said softly.

     Serenitee took the empty cup he offered and placed it on the coffee table.  “You shouldn’t.”

     He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans half afraid he might try to touch her.  “I, uh—it’s getting late.  I better get going.”

     Serenitee didn’t know why she felt a heavy disappointment
settle in her stomach, but she did.  She nodded and walked him to the door. 

     Trevor felt like kicking himself for being ‘that jerk’ again.  Against his better judgment, he bent down and kissed her cheek with a feather light touch.  He heard her heart pick up speed. 

     Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.  When he looked into her eyes, he knew he was lost. 

     Dear God, help him.  He bent down again, only this time
pressing his lips to hers.  The fire had ignited and he didn’t know how to stop it from engulfing them both. 

     This intensity he felt for her scared the living hell out of him.  He wanted to be gentle but it wasn’t in his nature.  And now, he couldn’t stop tasting her.  He picked up on a hint of chocolate.  His tongue felt the softness of her velvety mouth.  She moaned against his mouth and it only flamed the predatory beast inside. 

     He somehow found the strength to lift his head.  He needed to get a hold of himself.

     Serenitee gave him a questioning look.  “Is something wrong?”

     He cupped her face in his hands.  “I just don’t want to ever hurt you,” he said so softly and genuinely, Serenitee felt tears stinging the back of her eyes.

     Serenitee lifted on her tip toes and kissed his scruffy chin.  “I trust you.”

     Trevor’s jaw clenched and his lower lip quivered slightly.  “Please don’t.”  His plea was strangled and tortured.

    
“Don’t trust you?”  He nodded.  “Why?”

     He stepped away from her and opened the front door.  “Forgive me, but I think it’s for the best that I go.” 

     Serenitee watched him walk away, confusion etching her face.   She closed the door and went to clean up the kitchen before going to bed.

Chapter Four

     Serenitee went to bed early but her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the Van Holden journal once again.

“’September 6, 1865:

     “’With the war finally ending three months ago, I sincerely hope the United States finds some order and peace.

     “’As for me, peace keeps eluding me.  It only taunts me in my grief.’”

     Serenitee read on.   She felt like weeping so many tears for Trevor’s ancestors.  Their torment was just so tangible to her.
She could definitely relate to their pain.

     Yes, t
hey both suffered differently, but they still suffered.  The tragic deaths in the Van Holden family; the tragic deaths of her parents.  Both had lost the people they loved in ways that could numb a person forever.

     She had made it all the way to Trevor’s great gran
dfather’s entry in 1912 when she couldn’t hold her eyes open any longer.  She fell asleep with the journal on her belly.

    
Serenitee was jerked from sleep when she heard a piercing scream rent the night.  She shot up, the journal hitting the floor. 

    
She knew those terrible sounds were coming from Trevor.  His cries of pure anguish pulled at her soul and ripped at her heart.  What was so heart wrenching to Trevor that made him cry out in such a way?  She wanted to go to him, but the way he always tried to distance himself made her hesitant.  He wouldn’t appreciate her interference.  So, what could she do but sit and listen to his screams split the air.  She could swear they invaded her dreams.  In these dreams, he’s running.  To or from something, she couldn’t be sure.  Sometimes, his intensity frightened her a bit.  Not so much that she wouldn’t let him into her bed.  It was that same intensity that her fantasies ignited beyond her control.

     She didn’t think there was anything she could do about it.  He was torturing himself ove
r something.  It must be bad.  She still thought he was being too hard on himself.

     Serenitee
bent down to pick up the book and put in on her nightstand.  She put her head back on her pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

     Trevor stared at his calendar.  One day until the full moon.  He felt his insides coil tightly at the thought of what he had to do.  It was time for another shot. 

     He went to the bathroom to pr
epare the needle and to grab the alcohol and cotton balls.  After he had everything sterilized, he went to the garden and picked a couple of
Acinitum
.

     Trevor finished mixing the Monkshood for his monthly injection.  He
washed his hands and then filled the small hypodermic needle to the correct dose of the liquid, wiped his hip with an alcohol soaked cotton ball and pushed the needle into his hip.  The medicine stung a little under his skin.

     Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered with this.  He knew his body had been building a resistance to the Monkshood over time.  The men in his family tree
mentioned this in that blasted old journal he still hadn’t found. 

     They had all used different methods of calming the beast only to have the effects weaken over a certain period of time. 

     He didn’t know if increasing the dose would help.  He knew Monkshood was deadly to humans around the forty milliliter range.  He wasn’t quite that human so he might be able to get away with a higher dose.  The side effects were pure hell to put up with, making him so sick to his stomach, he couldn’t eat all day.  He could only lie in bed while his head swam and the room moved in circles.

    It was only a once a month injection.  He only needed two when the full moon happened to rise twice in one month.  Thankfully, August was the only time it had happened this year.  He was relieved to find that next year would not have but one full moon a month.
  And it wouldn’t happen for another three years.

   Since tomorrow was a full moon, he had to inject the medicine today and ride out the nausea as best he could.

     And try to avoid Serenitee at all costs.

     Serenitee didn’t hear from Trevor for three days now.  She just hoped he was okay.  After hearing those heart twisting screams a few days ago, anyone would think otherwise.  The fact that everything was so eerily quiet at his house scared her more than his screams.  At least then she knew he was still breathing.

     Serenitee had been working in the yards all day today.  She might not have a green thumb but she k
new how to handle a rake.  A couple hours later, she had neat piles of brown and orange leaves and some fallen twigs.  It wouldn’t be too long that she would have a lot more to do once all the trees lost their foliage. 

     She breathed in the clean scent of the coming
autumn.  A couple of more weeks, fall would be at her doorstep.  That meant getting ready for Halloween, one of her favorite holidays.  She couldn’t wait to buy pounds of candies to distribute to the trick-or-treaters. 

     Even with the cooling weather, Serenitee wiped a healthy dose of sweat from her face.  As soon as she bagged these leaves, she was getting a long, cool shower and a big glass of homemade lemonade, courtesy of Rue.  Bless the matronly woman
. She had stopped by with a large pitcher, floating with thinly sliced lemons, earlier that day.  They had sat on the porch swing, sipping at a frosty glass and making small talk.  Until Rue brought up Trevor.

     “How’s is goin’ with your new neighbor?”

     Serenitee smiled.  “He’s been a great help.  There were some things that I needed done that I couldn’t do myself.  He has strength enough to spare, I can tell you that.”

     Rue sat silently, seeming to consider carefully her next words.  “He’s been behaving himself, hmmm?  That’s good.”

    
Serenitee was taken aback by her statement.  “He’s been very nice to me.  What makes you say that, Rue?”

     Rue made a sympathetic noise.  “Poor thing’s been through so much in his short life.  I guess he deserves to feel some bitterness.  His sorry mama left him without even a backwards glance.  Lost his daddy when he was young.  I think Craig was only fifty when he passed on.  A real shame to lose someone so close.”

     Serenitee set her glass down and faced Rue with a serious look.  “Rue, what happened to his father?  Was it a horrible death?  Trevor hasn’t said much about him—actually he said nothing about him but the fact that he died very young.”

     Rue clamped her mouth, looking as if she was thinking about how much she should actually tell her young friend.

     “Well, sugar, Craig had some kind of illness.  He would be fine for a while then it would hit him, torture him.  His body had taken such a beatin’ over the years and it finally gave out.  His death was somewhat of a painful one, sad to say.  I hate to mention this to you since you and Trevor seem to be gettin’ along nicely.”  She stopped, not sure she should go on.

     Serenitee touched her shoulder.  “Please, Rue.  What is it?”

     “This….illness…..has been passed down to all the men in the Van Holden family.  I’m sorry but Trevor suffers from it, too.  I don’t know any of the Van Holden men that didn’t have it.”

     “Rue, you’ve lived here all your life, right?”

     “Sure have.”

     “Did you know Craig?”

     Rue nodded.  “I knew Craig’s father—Trevor’s grandfather---John, too.”

     “They all died the same way?”  Serenitee found that extremely odd.

     “More or less.”

     Curiosity was eating at Serenitee.  “What is this illness?”

     Rue patted her knee and stood up.  “Can’t say for sure so I don’t say nothing.  If you really want to know, you have to ask Trevor.  It is his genes cursin’ him.  He’ll know more about than I ever will.  Or would probably want to know.”

     Serenitee had
a sneaking suspicion that Rue knew more than she was letting on.  But she admired the woman for not saying anything she was unsure about.

     “Well, duty calls.  I have the supper shift.  I’m the only one that can make the buttermilk bisc
uits the way customers want ‘em.”  She gave Serenitee a motherly hug.  “Come down to the café when you get a chance.  I might be covered in flour but you’re welcome to sit with me when I get a break.”

     Serenitee grinned.  “I’ll do that.  What’s on your special tomorrow?”

     Rue gave her a hearty chuckle.  “Good to see you enjoyin’ Southern cookin’.  It makes this old woman feel right proud of herself.”  She began tipping off the items with her fingers.  “The special’s gonna be pot roast, rice and gravy, collard greens and homemade yeast rolls with whipped butter.  Dessert’s my homemade lemon meringue pie.  I’m makin’ my famous peach iced tea, too.  I always put some peaches up for servin’ in the fall.  Our county’s known for having the best peaches in the state.  They only last a short while.  I can ‘em by the case load, it seems.  Yet, by the time peach pickin’ comes around, my Mason jars are cleaned out.”

     Serenitee’s stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.  And that was hours ago.
  “Sounds wonderful.  I can’t wait to try the tea.”

     Rue
heard the unmistakable hunger pangs and a grin spread across her face.  “Be sure to come by and get a plate.”

     “I’ll do that.”  She waved as Rue got into her old Chevy and drove off. 

  
  Serenitee finished bagging the leaves and put them at the end of her driveway.  After stashing the rake out back, she went in for that much needed shower.  And a cold glass of lemonade.

Chapter Five

     Trevor had been pacing all day.  He needed to talk to Serenitee.  She had said he was welcome at her place any time, day or night. 

     Hell, he knew she was just being neighborly but he was about to take her up on her offer.  Besides, he hadn’t seen her in days, though it felt like weeks.

     He put on a pair of black jeans and a dark red T-Shirt and made his way to Serenitee’s home.

     He knocked.  When there was no answer, he knocked again.  After a few minutes went by, he felt a panic.  Her car was here so she was at home.  He saw her raking leaves earlier today.  He knocked once more and when she didn’t come to the door, he tried the door to find it unlocked.  Coldness settled into his chest.