Shadow of the Wolf (8 page)

     Serenitee felt a chill move over her skin.  “I thought it was an illness passed down to only the men in your family.”

     “It is.  In a way.”

     Serenitee chewed her bottom lip, deep in thought before speaking.  “Monkshood?  It’s a plant that, in myth, keeps away werewolves.”

     “Yes.  But it’s not a myth.  It’s true.”

     She looked at him like he had lost his mind.  “So, that was Monkshood you were injecting into your skin?”

     “Yes.”

     Serenitee fell quiet for a moment.  “Wait!  Do you have the journal?”  He got up and got the journal from the closet.  He handed it over to Serenitee.

     She flipped open the pages until she found Joseph’s entry.  She pointed to the page. 
“Right here.  Look.  Joseph says he was taking some kind of tincture that was losing its potency.  He just hoped that his restraints would hold him during a full moon.”  She closed the book.  “What’s going on, Trevor?  You asked me if I believed in ‘this curse’.  Are you saying you have the curse of a wolf?”

     “Werewolf,” he corrected.

     She shook her head.  “No.  It can’t be.  That’s just folklore.”

     Trevor met her eyes.  “Sometime folklores are true.  This happens to be one of them.”

     Serenitee couldn’t meet his eyes.  “I can’t believe it.  I just can’t.”  She finally searched his eyes.  “All I see in front of me is a human being.  Not some hairy beast.  I read that lycanthropy was a form of mental illness.  It could be passed down in your family.”

     She wanted a rational explanation.  Anything but the actual truth.  He grabbed her shoulders gently.  “No.  It’s not a mental illness.  It is real
, Serenitee.  Why do you think I always give you an excuse on why I can’t meet you the day of the full moon?  Do you remember that day you had that bag of dog food?”  She nodded.  “That wasn’t a little dog you heard howling in these woods.

     “It was me.  I was hunting.”

     Serenitee went as pale as a ghost.  “Hunting for what?”  Her mouth had gone dry.

     “Animals.
”

     She said nothing.  Trevor released her.  “You don’t believe me.  I can understand.  Look.  I know you need time to wrap your head around what I’ve told you.  Why don’t you take a couple of days?”

     Serenitee cleared her throat.  “Yes.  I think that’s a good idea.”  She looked into his sad eyes.  “I’m sorry, Trevor.”  With that, she walked out of the room.  He heard the front door open then close.  He felt like he was already on the verge of losing her. 

     Serenitee sat at the kitchen table nursing her now cold coffee.  It had only been one day since she’s seen Trevor.  He wasn’t far from her mind.  And neither was their talk about his curse. 

     She stared at the computer screen.  She opened up her search engine and typed in “Werewolves”.  She couldn’t find much except for mostly what she already knew from movies and books.
  It basically talked of them being a part of myths and legends.  She typed in “Lycanthropy”.  Just as she suspected.  She read the definition.

     “Lycanthropy, in folklore means a person has the ability to take on the form and characteristics of a wolf.  It is also defined as a delusion in which a person has transformed into a wolf or other such animal.”

     She could’ve left it at that but decided to search further.  There were sites about people actually seeing real life werewolves, even people claiming to be a werewolf. 

     By the time Serenitee read through tons of information, she only managed to get a headache and was no closer to the truth.  She sat back and rubbed her temples. 

     She heaved a sigh, turned off her computer and took a couple of aspirin. 

     She should just go and talk to Trevor tonight.  Besides, he still had her clothes.  She just wanted an excuse to see him again. 

     Trevor heard a knock on his door around dusk.  He saw Serenitee on the other side.  He opened the door.

     “Can we talk?”

     Trevor looked up into the darkening sky.  “For a few minutes, then you have to go.”

     Serenitee angled her head and saw that tonight was a full moon.  She was skeptical but appeased him.  “Okay.”

     Trevor offered her a drink.  “Just water, please.”

     He handed her a glass of water and sat down beside her.  “I already know you think that this curse is all in my head and that it’s bogus.”

     Serenitee took a sip of water before answering.  “You have to understand it from my side, Trevor.  I
mean werewolves for goodness’ sakes.”

     “How can I possibly look at it from your side?  I have never been on that side of human in my entire life.  I was born with this curse.  More than likely, I’ll die with it, too.”

     “How long can you live with it?”

     “I might have a good eight years left.”  He took her hands.  “Can’t you understand that I don’t want to be cursed?  I want a normal life.  I want many more years on this Earth.  I want love, a wife, maybe a few kids.  I want—
“he licked his lips.  “I want you, Serenitee.  And it tears me up that I can never really have you.  I won’t be here long enough for you.  You are young.  You have such a long life ahead of you.  I don’t want to screw up your chance to have happiness.”  The emotion he felt put a chink in his voice when he spoke again.  “I love you, Serenitee and it isn’t fair to you whatsoever.”

     Serenitee’s eyes glistened with tears.  “Oh, Trevor.  I love you, too.  Why is it not fair to love me?”

     “I can’t be there for you.  I can never be the man you want or need in your life.  That’s why loving you isn’t fair to you.”

     Fat tears dropped onto her cheeks.  Trevor wiped them away with his thumbs.  He couldn’t fight the strong urge to kiss her and so he did.

     Serenitee put all of her heart and soul into the kiss, wanting him to feel that they could be together.  She wanted to make him
see.

     Suddenly, Trevor pushed her away and doubled over in pain.  His eyes closed tightly, tears of agony falling from his eyes.  He fell to his knees.

     Serenitee bent down next to him. “Dear God!  Trevor?”

     His voice became low.  “Get away from me.  Don’t touch me.  Please, I’m begging you to leave me alone.”  His last plea became more of a strangled cry.
  He grabbed his shirt and ripped it off in one mighty yank and roared up to the sky.

    
Serenitee saw that he had more hair on his chest than before.  “Please.  Tell me what’s wrong, Trevor?  I don’t want to leave you like this.”

    
“Dammit!  Just go.”  He bellowed in pain. He lifted his head and Serenitee caught sight of the irises of his eyes turning wildly yellow and his canines growing longer.  “Leave!!”  His voice boomed throughout the entire house.   

     
Serenitee only witnessed a glimpse of him falling to the floor.  She heard a terrible crunching and breaking noise before she turned and ran, her tears blinding the way.  She heard his blood curdling screams; his cries of agony and she was helpless to do anything for him.  His screams were so terrifying, everything seemed to scatter.  The woods were quiet, save for his howling.

     That’s what it was:  howling.  Howling like a wolf. 

     Lord, it was true.  Trevor was cursed.  The only one crazy was her.  She was crazy for not believing him in the first place.  He had never lied to her.  She should have listened to him.  Oh, why didn’t she just listen instead of thinking it was mental and
he
was the one needing professional help?

     Serenitee ran faster than she
thought she ever could.  She opened her door and bolted it.  She made sure all the windows were secured. 

     She closed all the curtains, braving a peek out of one.  Maybe he---it?—wouldn’t see her.

     She heard paws pounding against the snow not far from where she was looking.  She could see the white cloud as the wolf exhaled through a growl.

     She was sure he could hear the panicked beating of her heart.  She looked out and saw a huge black wolf.  His eyes were glowing yellow.  His fur was glossy and black as coal.  He was much bigger than any wolf or dog she’d ever seen.  She could see the defined muscles in his legs.  She knew one thing:  he would be extremely powerful.  He could take down any animal—no matter the size—and have no problem killing it

     She took deep breaths, wanting to calm her racing heart.  She tried not to shake as not to disturb the curtains.  She watched him.  He seemed to be watching her. He cocked his head the way dogs do when they’re confused.  She remembered Trevor doing that very same thing on occasion.

    
Oh, my word.  Now, I’m finding similar traits between a supposed mythological creature and an actual human being
.  When this was over, she would be the one needing a shrink.

     He stared at her. 
That’s when she’d seen it:  a glint of sadness, regret and self hatred in his eyes.  She saw Trevor in those eyes.  He hated himself.  She knew better than to go try and help him.  He was still a massive beast.  He could easily tear her apart, not remember until later and who knows what he would do to himself if he found out.     

     Trevor/Wolf raised his head, sniffed the hair and then let out a mighty howl.  He leaped into the woods, obviously smelling
his prey.  She hoped it was a quick death for whatever animal got caught in those jaws.

     What Serenitee wanted was for all this to be a dream.  She would wake up to find out that seeing Trevor become a werewolf was a dream. 

    
Maybe more like a nightmare,
she amended.

Chapter Ten

     Trevor opened his eyes, finding his naked body on the floor of the living room.  There were blood smears on his rug.  He wanted to heave his guts out.  He got up and examined his body.  Once again, there was blood smeared on his face, on his hands and chest.  It was more than the usual amount of blood he’s seen on his body for one kill.

     He thought hard about what he had done.  He remembered seeing a wild pig snorting around the other day.  He must’ve made a mental note on honing in on that animal.  That would explain the copious amounts of blood.

     He went to take a shower.  As the cold water hit him, another image flashed in his mind.  He saw Serenitee running for her house.  He heard the locks click and the curtains being drawn.  He knew she was watching him from the small slit she had made in one of the window dressings.  He had watched her.  She was scared but not scared enough to look away.  It was almost as if she were mesmerized by his transformation.  He hoped the shock wore off before he had to see her again.  If he got to see her again.  This might send her packing back to New York.  He couldn’t blame her. 

     What was also strange was his reaction to her while he was in wolf form.  He still felt those feelings the human part of Trevor felt for her.  He wasn’t as dead inside as he thought.  He was
n’t as vicious as he thought of himself either. 

     It was still too much of a risk to have her, or any human, around him while he was the wolf.  He couldn’t be responsible for their safety.  He didn’t want to hurt a human soul.  He had killed many animals but they were animals that were hunted by humans regularly.  

     Trevor had to see her.  He just hoped she would even let him on the porch after what she had witnessed last night.  She may have seen his wolf form through the window without flinching but who knows how she would react now that the concept has finally settled in.  The shock had to have worn off by now.

     Trevor walked up the steps of Serenitee’s porch.  He lifted his hand to knock but the door swung violently open.  Serenitee threw herself into Trevor’s arms. 

     “I’m so glad you’re okay, Trevor,” she cried. 

     Trevor closed his eyes and held her close to him.  It felt like a weight had lifted from his heart.  She didn’t hate him.  She didn’t look at him as the wolf and despise what he was. 

     Serenitee lifted her head, her eyes searching his.  “Trevor, I feel like such a fool for not listening to you.  It’s all true; every bit of it.  I’m so sorry.”

     Trevor kissed her forehead.  “You shouldn’t blame yourself.  I would’ve done the same thing you did if I were in your shoes.  It does sound crazy.”

     Serenitee grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.  They sat down before resuming their conversation.

     “Can you help me to understand?”

     Trevor had this cloud over his head his entire life.  He had never shared that problem with anyone.  Only his dad had known what he was going to go through.  It might do him a world of good to share it with Serenitee.

     “This curse, the werewolf curse, has touched every man in my family.  But it has affected the women of their lives te
rribly, also.  Each Van Holden man had tried some new treatment to help them live out some semblance of a normal life.  They, too, wanted a wife, children and a home to call their own.  I’m sure it would’ve been better if they had had girls but it doesn’t work that way.  My ancestors did have girls but they also had a lot of boys that would keep the Van Holden name alive.  They were to pass down the family name.