Shadowmoor (de Lohr Dynasty #6) (22 page)

Liselotte was listening to his words, understanding just a bit more of the man in that careful speech. “Then you see us as your salvation?”

“In a way, mayhap.”

“Helping us is your penitence before God to right your wrongs?”

Daniel’s smile grew. “It is possible,” he said. Then, he reached across the table and put his hand on Liselotte’s slender, warm fingers. He squeezed tightly. “When I say that my intention is to see Shadowmoor restored, I mean it. When I say that I will rid you of Bramley’s suit, I mean that as well. You are too fine and noble a creature for the likes of him. You deserve a much better husband.”

Liselotte was gazing into the man’s eyes, her heart beating so forcefully that she was sure it was about to burst from her ribs. His hand on her fingers was just this side of heaven, bringing about a giddiness she had never known. She could hardly catch her breath because of it.

“I am not sure any man will want a woman with no dowry,” she said, her voice trembling. “You know that I have nothing to offer and in spite of what you said earlier today, when you said that it does not matter what I wear because the right man will see what is beneath the clothing, I find that difficult to believe. You are the only man who has ever stopped long enough to notice our plight or help us. There are not many men like you in this world, Sir Daniel.”

Daniel’s eyes glittered. “I would agree,” he said. “But there are exceptions. I know a few. Mayhap I will find a husband for you.”

For some reason, that offer was a blow to Liselotte’s heart. She didn’t want him to find her a husband. She realized, as she looked at him, that she wanted
him
to be her husband. In truth, she’d wanted it all along, trying to tell herself that it could never be, but the reality was that she wanted him very badly.

Now, his offer to find her a husband made her feel like weeping. She had known all along he was going to break her heart and she hadn’t cared; still, she wondered if she would be brave enough to accept the fact that he truly did not want her.

“That is kind of you,” she said, pulling her hand away from him and lowering her gaze, “but I would prefer that you did not.”

Daniel could sense a change in her mood. “Why not?”

She shook her head, popping a piece of white cheese into her mouth. “It would be very awkward for a man not related to my family to choose a husband for me,” she said. “In fact, men will wonder why you are doing it. They will wonder what is wrong with me. You are an eligible bachelor and I am an eligible maiden. They will wonder why you do not marry me yourself.”

Daniel couldn’t help but think she was trying to find out, for herself, why he did not want to marry her. He thought he’d been clear about it and he should have been offended by her attempts to probe him but he found that he wasn’t because she made a good deal of sense. In fact, the more he thought on someone else marrying her, the more he didn’t like it. Nay, he didn’t like it at all. He didn’t want to be tied down to one place, to one woman, but he also didn’t want that one woman to be tied down to anyone else. It was a dilemma, indeed.

The bachelor’s soul began to show even more cracks now, big and gaping ones.

God, what is happening to me?

“You do not want me, Liselotte,” he said quietly. “I have told you that I wander. You would not want to be married to a man who travels for months on end, sometimes years, and then returns to you when it is convenient. That is no life for you.”

Liselotte still had her head down, realizing she was verging on tears. Unused to emotions of any kind, she found her defenses crumbling.

“You need not make this something that would be unsavory to me,” she said. “You may admit that I am not someone you would consider marrying. You may, indeed, admit that you have no attraction to a woman with nothing to offer except a legacy of poverty. A de Lohr should marry well and I am not of your class, so you needn’t make it sound as if I am the one who would not want you. Quite the contrary, my lord; I would take you as you are and I would not expect you to change, nor would I want you to. It would make you miserable to try. So do not tell me that I would not be happy as your wife for you do not know what is in my heart.”

It was a startling and unexpected speech. As Daniel sat there, somewhat stunned, Liselotte suddenly bolted up from the table. Embarrassed, and verging on an emotional outburst, she tried to flee the room but Daniel stopped her. He was up, running after her, grabbing her by the arm before she could get away. Liselotte refused to look at him, trying to pull from his grip, but Daniel held her fast.

“Stop,” he begged softly. “Please… stop. Do not leave.”

Liselotte was trying very hard to stave off tears. “Please let me go, my lord,” she said. “I… I should not have said those things. It would be better if I….”

“Quiet,” he commanded. “Stop talking. Let me speak.”

She shook her head but kept silent and Daniel pulled her back into the room as she tried to resist him. He knew she was terribly embarrassed but he didn’t care. Something in her confession prompted something within him to speak, to confess just as she was. All of the interest and confusion he’d felt over Liselotte was whirling in his chest, demanding to be explored. All of this because she had spoken of her interest in him.

She was braver than he was in that respect.

Perhaps there was some part of him that could see being her husband, being by her side every day, exploring this woman who was so strong that nothing could break her. She was a rock, fighting and struggling for her family all of these years. He’d never seen a stronger woman, strong in both conviction and character.

She wasn’t of his class? Daniel was coming to think it was the other way around.

“You are misunderstanding the entire situation, lady,” he said as she struggled against his grasp. “Did it ever occur to you that the reason I feel strongly about helping Shadowmoor is because I found Lord Etzel’s daughter to be quite attractive and alluring? Did it ever occur to you that the reason I purchased fine dresses for you in town today is because I wanted to see your glorious beauty clothed in something that is worthy of you? Liselotte, you are the bravest and strongest woman I have ever known, all of it wrapped up in a magnificent beauty that I have never seen anywhere in my travels. Had I run in to Gunnar and taken him back to Shadowmoor, with only your father there and not you, I might have stayed to help. I am not even certain of that. But upon meeting the glorious l’Audacieux sister and hearing of her struggles against Bramley… suffice it to say that you are the reason I am doing all of this, Liselotte. It is you and you alone.”

By this time, Liselotte had stopped resisting him. She was looking up at Daniel with a mixture of shock and hope, of delight and disbelief. It was nearly everything she wanted to hear from the man… but not quite. She had opened the subject, the subject of marriage, and there was nothing left to do but forge on until she had her answer.

To push until she could push no more.

“But why would you do this for a woman you have no intention of marrying?” she asked. “What you are doing… it will be a waste of your time.”

Daniel gazed into her sweet face. He wanted to kiss her very badly but he had a feeling it might not be well-received, at least not at the moment. “I never said I did not wish to marry you,” he murmured. “You never heard those words come out of my mouth. I said I was a traveling man and would never marry, but I never said that I did not wish to marry
you
. We have only just met and to speak of marriage between us would be premature at best. Would you agree with this statement?”

Liselotte shrugged weakly. “I have not thought on it,” she said. “But I suppose you are correct; it is foolish of me to say such things given the fact that we have only just met. Forgive me for being so ridiculous. It will not happen again.”

His gaze drifted over her bronze hair, such a luscious color. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. “If it does happen again, I will not be troubled by it,” he said. “But for now, I will say this – I have never before met a woman who has intrigued me so. I am not sure what is in my heart, for it is uncharted territory. All I know is that I have never wanted to do anything for someone more than I have wanted to do it for you. You are a strong, beautiful woman and you deserve more than life has seen fit to give you. Mayhap your father was right in a sense – mayhap God did bring me to you. But you must also consider the fact that He may have brought you to
me
.”

Liselotte wasn’t feeling quite so embarrassed any longer, mostly because Daniel’s manner was calming. He had that way about him, the great communicator that he was. He was being logical and kind, reasonable to a fault. He wasn’t making her feel as if she should be embarrassed about her feelings. In truth, he seemed to have some feelings of his own.

“Why would God do that?” she asked. “I have nothing to give you.”

His smile returned. “Nothing,” he said. “Or, mayhap, everything. I have been wandering all of these years, happy in my freedom, but mayhap I wander because I am searching for something. My father always suggested that, you know. He felt that I was searching for something, or someone, to complete my happiness and that is why I never liked to stay in one place for long.”

Liselotte felt such hope in her heart that it was close to exploding. She felt certain that he was speaking of a woman.
A wife
. “Searching for what?” she asked. “A person? Wealth? Glory?”

Daniel’s eyes twinkled in the dim light of the hall. “My father suspected I would know it when I found it,” he said. “Who is not to say it is a strong maiden from a broken-down fortress with an ancient royal legacy?”

Liselotte dared to return his smile. “Me?”

He lifted his eyebrows, rather haughtily. “Did I mention you by name?”

“Nay.”

“Then cease your assumptions.”

“
Are
they assumptions? I am the only maiden I know with a broken-down fortress. Or do you know more of us?”

His eyes narrowed. “Cheeky wench.”

He said it with exaggeration and she knew he was jesting with her. The mood was much better now where even moments before, it had been full of uncertainty. Even if Daniel was unable to truly give her hope, for anything, he’d said enough. Liselotte was satisfied with as much as he was able to say. She was satisfied with his kindness towards her, for not making her feel foolish, and for his gentleness. For a man who was sworn to bachelorhood, he was strangely open and honest about things with her. It was an admirable quality.

“Then I will assume no longer,” she said, a timid smile on her lips.

He nodded faintly, his gaze drifting over every portion of her face as he did. It was as if he were eating her alive, probing every feature, digesting her as only he could. Perhaps he was determining if she really was what he had been looking for all of his years. His expression suggested that he was looking for answers, but his tone, when he spoke, was neutral enough.

“I will tell you when your assumptions are warranted,” he said. “In fact, when the time comes, I will tell you plainly so there will be no need for assumptions at all.”

She smiled, somewhat coyly, and gently pulled her arm from his grip, turning back for the table where the remains of her meal were. It seemed as if they had said all that needed to be said but the silence between them now was comfortable enough. Almost as if they had an understanding between them. Gunnar was still sleeping like the dead in his dog pack as Liselotte headed back for the table, having no idea that, behind her, Daniel was now having something of a crisis.

Assumptions
. Perhaps they had said all that needed to be said at the moment, but he was still in the throes of the conversation. He wasn’t lying when he said that he would tell her plainly if, and when, he could figure out exactly what he was feeling, but the truth was that he was completely uncertain about any of it. He was uncertain of these odd sensations he felt when it came to Liselotte and he was uncertain if he would truly feel comfortable being pledged to a woman.
Having a wife.

The mere mention of it seemed alien to him.

Daniel wasn’t one to stay away from women in general. In fact, he always selected women who were very willing to let him do as he pleased and he had been in trouble because of it on more than one occasion. Fathers of compromised daughters tended not to view his actions too favorably and his own father had even been forced to pay off a few outraged fathers so they would not try to burn Daniel at the stake. But looking at Liselotte, the thought of toying with her affections, as he’d done so many times in the past, never entered his mind. There was something about the woman that commanded his respect and admiration. He would never toy with her.

But he wasn’t beyond pretending with her. Perhaps it would help him understand his feelings better if he did.

The very idea intrigued him.

“Are we still friends then, my lady?” he asked as he trailed her back to the table.

Liselotte nodded. “Of course we are.”

“Then as one friend to another, there is something you can help me with if you are willing.”

She reached the table, turning to look at him. “Of course I am willing,” she said. “How may I be of service?”

Daniel twisted his lips wryly. “I do believe we may have fallen into a nest of hunters,” he said, lowering his voice. “Lady Glennie, although very kind, looks at me as if she wants to eat me and her father has that same expression when he looks at you. Do you understand my meaning?”

Liselotte had no idea what he was talking about. “I fear that I do not,” she said. “What are you saying?”

Daniel wriggled his eyebrows, somewhat comically. “I mean that Lady Glennie seems on the hunt for a husband,” he said. “I do not like the way she looks at me. You will be doing me a great favor if you would allow me to pretend that I am courting you. That would not only deter her from me but it would deter her father from you. It would be safe for us both to pretend such a thing. Are you willing to do that?”