Shadows Falling: The Lost #2 (10 page)

“
She couldn’t have just disappeared!” I frowned. I was not prepared to accept Rose’s peculiar notions of nighttime time traveling as a means for an explanation.

“
Oh, she didn’t disappear, my dear. A young man signed her out.”

“
Who? Was his name Luke, by any chance?”

“
I don’t think it was chance; I don’t believe in chance; I’m a science man. But yes, it was a Luke. Luke Dawes. Do you know him then?” Dr. Ford leans closer to me. He looks intrigued.

“
Only by reputation,” I sigh. “Why ever did you agree to let her go, sir? You surely couldn’t have thought she was cured?”

“
Dr. Dawes seemed to think immersion therapy was the answer. That perhaps she needed a dose of reality. He seemed quite knowledgeable. A doctor himself, you know.”

I snort.
“Naturally, he would be. Probably a lawyer and the King of Transylvania, as well.”

Dr. Ford begins to rustle the papers around on his desk again. I can tell he is becoming bored with me, and I have been summarily dismissed from his attentions. I
’d best leave before he assigns me to kitchen duty. I can just see myself peeling potatoes for all of eternity, and not only do I not care for spuds, I am also afraid I’ll never get the image of escaped patients jumping out at me from inside the bins out of my head. Sweet Fanny Adams, I may never eat another potato as long as I live.

14

After the sudden death of my mother, I was extremely agitated. I remember being shaken, not with sadness or regret, but with sudden bursts and lapses of memory. For a while, I wandered the cliffs, hearing the waves crash below, my cloak billowing out from me like the heroine in one of Solomon’s novels. I felt like Cathy searching for Heathcliff, Jane searching for Mr. Rochester.

For a moment, I couldn
’t remember my love’s name. I felt so very unanchored. Lost. I couldn’t recall who else I had been looking for. Then, in a spasm of understanding, I remembered: my father and sister. Of course! Such a ninny, Rose. Don’t be silly now; it’s time to focus.

But, no, on reflection, I simply had no energy left over for them. Revenge on my mother had left me tired and weak. I only wanted to go back to Luke, and oddly enough, to Bedlam. At least I could get some sleep and eat something.

“Perhaps one day I’d come back for the rest of my family,” I thought. I stored that thought away for later in the shrinking area of my head where I kept my memories and plans.

I told Luke what had happened on the cliffs, but he was only concerned that I looked pale. I could no longer piece together exactly what had transpired. I told him Mr. Rochester was nearby, and then Luke firmly told me we had to go home, that I
’d had enough excitement for one day. I yawned and agreed. He always looks out for me that way. Most times I like it; sometimes, though, I don’t like being told what to do. He should tread carefully, my Luke.

When I awoke the next morning at Bedlam, he was already gone. I had a momentary twinge of jealousy at Luke
’s ability to blend into his surroundings, while I was once again snared in a hospital bed, trapped like a rabbit, but the bed felt warm and comfortable, and I knew someone would bring me tea and something to eat soon enough. As if beckoned by my thirsty thoughts, a stiff young woman, thin as a rail except for a heaving bosom, entered my cell. She pulled my blanket back without so much as a by-your-leave, and set a bowl of broth down on the only other piece of furniture in the room: a very small chair.

“
I don’t like mysterious men checking in young ladies without all the necessary paperwork being finished, but I suppose you’re here, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Don’t dawdle over your breakfast. The doctor wants to see you straight away.” She didn’t wait for me to answer, but slammed shut the door behind her as she stomped away.

A perfect description of Miss Helmes if ever I saw one, though I’d hardly call her young myself. I suppose young is a relative term, a matter of opinion?

Excitedly, I realize Rose
’s account could not have been made that long ago now. We were nearly up to the present time; I was almost sure of it. Mr. Connelly had said once that Rose is about my age, and she must be so—or almost so—at this point in her diary. If I’ve made sense of her ramblings, she’d be about sixteen now. That didn’t explain Miss Helmes being so young, but perhaps it isn’t Miss Helmes; perhaps the hospital only hires this type of skinny, antisocial employees? The thought makes me smile.

I was irritated by the woman nurse, but still tired, so I contented myself by plotting her death as I sipped on my broth. Really, all I wanted to do was sleep some more, but I was worried about Luke and where he had gone off to. Sometimes I wanted to ask him more about his life, but I always thought about it when he wasn’t there, and then when he was, I forgot. I was forgetting more and more. As if particles of my brain were disappearing. My whole life seemed like a dream sometimes: blurred around the edges usually or sometimes crystal clear but without any sound. You won’t understand this, but it’s like a television with the sound turned off, or a radio tuned in to static

Maddening.

Exhausting, too. Which was a nice feeling actually, because I was getting better at sleeping. I could now lie down, and it wouldn’t take me hours and hours to fall asleep. Especially if I knew I’d be traveling, I could practically will myself to lose consciousness. I stayed for about a month that time, resting up. Luke came by every day and I knew he wasn’t far away at night. I hadn’t been pulled into one of
his
travelings yet, which I found curious. I think I was using up our lifetime supply.

When I felt well enough, we traveled far and wide. We went as far into the future as Luke had ever been: twenty
-first century America. He said the technology at the time was advanced enough to locate the whereabouts of my family.

It was an odd place, this futuristic America. We went to New York City. People looked the same, and yet, very different. It was a strange mixture of fashions and noises and smells. No one person dressed the same as the next, which was unexpected, but made me fit in nicely. I wore my favorite red calico dress that Luke bought me, and I didn
’t even feel out of place. Everyone was strange and different and odd and bizarre, and I kind of loved it actually.

I couldn
’t learn the difficulties of the technologies that Luke said would do our research for us. They confused me and irritated me so that he told me to find something else to amuse myself and he would work alone.  So, while he spent hours holed up in the libraries, I would wander the city.

Once I followed a group of girls my age into their school.

What a funny place! I had never been in one before, not ever. Of course, I had read plenty about schools, and most of my favorite novels had made mention of them. I had not read a whole novel since Solomon.

No one paid any attention to me, even when I sat down in a classroom. The teacher, an ugly woman, asked my name and sighed and said, why didn
’t anyone ever tell her anything about new students? and then she told me to sit down and everyone else to be quiet. The girl closest to me kept chewing something loudly, and I wondered why she didn’t just swallow whatever it was and get it over with. I wanted to smack it out of her mouth, but I also wanted to stay longer, so I behaved myself.

I soon found out this was a history class, and they were studying the Civil War in the Americas. None of the students looked interested, and most of them were doing things with small boxes that lit up, and some were talking. The teacher droned on about slavery and Abraham Lincoln.

Eventually, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I told her she was not only wrong concerning everything she just said, but also that she was a donkey’s ass. The students howled with laughter. To my surprise, she didn’t seem offended or shocked by what I said, but she did tell me my smart mouth would cost me my grade. I shrugged and left, amidst laughter. One boy lifted his hand up to me as I passed him. I didn’t know what he wanted (me to hand him something? I didn’t have anything), so I walked on by.

“
Hold up!” he said, following me into the hallway. “Nice work in there, baby.”

“
I’m not a baby,” I spoke slowly, as he seemed like an idiot. Handsome, but an idiot.

“
What’s your name then, sweet thing?” Yes, his face was handsome enough, but he must have been a simpleton because his trousers were nearly on the ground like some sort of village idiot.

“
You don’t want to know.”

“
I don’t? Ah. I get you. Mysterious and beautiful.  You’re like a vintage puzzle, sweet thing. Walk with me?”

I shrugged. I didn
’t have anything else to do. If I got bored, I’d find new amusements.

“
You know, this place has a million rules no one ever follows, but you should probably put on shoes, just because I wouldn’t want to see those pretty feet step in something nasty.”

I looked down at my bare feet. I didn
’t like shoes.

“
I’ll be fine,” I muttered. “What do you do around here?”

“
You mean for fun? Ah, baby, I got you covered there. Why don’t you hang with me?”

“
Hang?”

“
Today and forevermore, sweet thing.”

Lord, what an idiot. I sighed.

“
Come on, baby, let me show you what you’d be getting.” He reached out, fast as a snake, and pushed me up against the wall, one hand on my waist, the other reaching under my skirt. Calmly, I looked into his handsome eyes and entwined my fingers through his. I yanked back on his wrists, and he crumpled like a paper doll.

I don’t condone violence usually, but I couldn’t help a silent cheer in my gut for Rose.

Bored with the school and everyone in it, I wandered off, and I stayed close to Luke for the rest of the night. He was tired—staring at what he patiently explained for the fifth time was a computer—but he was determined to find enough of a trace of my father or sister before we slept and found ourselves back at the hospital. I sat on the table next to him, twirling my hair and yawning.

“
Here’s something!” he finally exclaimed. “Look!”

I peered at the brightly lit screen. There it was indeed. My father
’s name, Noah Alexander Gray. Thank you, Old Babba, for muttering under your breath how much you hated my parents and for burning their full names into my head. It was an arrest notice for public drunkenness, along with a very helpful address and year.

I slept happy. It wouldn
’t be long now before our reunion.

They were going to be so surprised when I showed up!

We went back to Bedlam for a time. I had to think. Had to arrange my priorities, you see. Couldn’t just show up without a plan, could I?

Of course not, I think. That’d be crazy. I shake my head silently, and check the clock. Do I have time for a few more pages?

Luke didn’t seem overly interested in my plans for my family. I think he was in a hurry to get it over with; he had a yearning to visit our island again. The stays in the hospital were more bearable when we had a little vacation to look forward to. But I was getting more and more concerned about using up all my traveling abilities and getting stuck somewhere, without having done what I wanted with my father and sister. So, I rested up for a just a bit and told him we’d spend some lovely time together, just us, soon enough.

“
I just have to do this, darling,” I said, one day when he visited me. He looked so handsome. I loved him so.

“
All right, love,” he agreed. “I’ll be here tonight if you’re ready.”

“
I’m ready.”

“
You’re sure? What if they don’t want you?” he looked worried. “Do you plan on keeping them?”

“
What, like a batch of puppies?” I laughed. I liked laughing with Luke, even though I did it so infrequently it sounded rusty, like nails on a chalkboard.

“
Yes,” he grinned. “Like puppies. I don’t want puppies. I hate puppies. I just want you.”

“
I won’t keep them,” I promised. “It will always just be us. But I have a role for you to play.”

I shared my plan with him. He agreed to everything.

Of course he did.

I couldn’t get a handle on this Luke Dawes. What a shyster. That much was true. But he was an interesting mix of villain and meek accomplice. Who was the real Luke? I wonder. And did Rose really know herself?

The gods seemed to be kind to me this trip. I think they must have approved of my plans because I managed to stay in one place and time for a longer period than normal. We found my father and sister, Sonnet, right where we knew they would be. I sent Luke to them first.

He did such a good job.

He posed as a photographer. We even found an empty, tiny room for him. I went in through a busted window in the back and we set up shop, with old cameras from a pawn shop that we bought with stolen money. We made it look lived in, hung a sign and everything. Sonnet was stupid to believe us, but believe us she did. Or Luke rather. I hadn’t made an appearance quite yet.

We stayed in an abandoned house, outside of town, which was perfect in so many ways. It was falling apart, on the outside and the inside, and there was a notice on the door that I didn
’t read. There was canned food in the kitchen that we took a pickax to in order to open, and once I even started to read a book I found. It was dull and badly written, and I left it open after a few pages. I hadn’t read since Solomon, and I was relived I still knew how, though the desire for books was gone. I explored all the nooks and crannies, like a little child, when Luke was gone. I pretended to be a little girl, and sometimes I let my big sister come along. I’d talk to her in a child’s voice, and we’d play hide and seek like sisters do. I’d always win. She wasn’t as smart as me. And she always played by the rules, my imaginary Sonnet. Silly girl. If you want to win, you have to break the rules.

I decided to concentrate my energies on the real Sonnet.

She was a strange girl: taller than I, and darker, too, but with the same ice blue eyes. A kind of clumsy beauty, a careless sort of pretty, with a throaty voice and legs that tripped over one another. Somehow I think I would have known her anywhere, though we were so young when we were separated. I felt no affection for the creature; after all, she stole away my half of our parent’s love and attention. She had them all to herself, and I had no one. Who were my mother and father figures? A crazy old bat with The Sight and a man who deceived me.