Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (21 page)

Shane grabbed her hand and said, “No!”

“Why not?” she screamed as she yanked her arm from his hold. “If you get to the throw in the towel then so do I!” She popped the blade out.

“Savannah, please don’t,” he said quietly.

“If I do it, will you stop loving me?” she asked.

“No.”

“Will you walk away from me?”

“No.”

“Even if I tell you to go?”

“No.”

“If I beg you to go?”

“No.” He shook his head. “No, no, no.”

“Then why are you asking me to?”

She dropped the blade to the floor and wrapped her arms around him as he dragged her closer. “I’m sorry,” he said against her neck, but she shook her head, too overwhelmed to tell him she didn’t need an apology, she just needed him. He must have gotten the message because his arms tightened even farther around her and the only words she heard after that were the ones telling her how much he loved her.

Chapter 17

Shane stroked the arm that lay across his chest as he stared at the ceiling. She had started off snuggled against him after he carried her to his bed, but this morning she was lying on her stomach, her face turned away from him. But even in sleep, she refused to let go of him entirely, thus the arm that still kept them connected. Having her here was both joyful and terrifying. He’d known in his gut last night at the hospital as he pushed her away that she would come for him, but he figured once she saw him in the throes of his addiction, she wouldn’t even bother looking back as she walked out of his life forever.

The heroin had been easy to score from the dealer who’d sold him cocaine in the past and the guy had even tossed in some extra as a welcome back present. Not once during the ride home or as he prepared the drug had he even thought about stopping himself. He’d made up his mind after seeing Gabe’s mother lying lifeless in that bed, her tormented son signing away his last hope of ever getting back the woman that had raised him. He’d known in that instant that that was his future too and he was tired of fighting the inevitable. He was tired of pretending he was anything other than an addict. He was just plain tired.

Tourniquet wrapped, drugs prepared, syringe filled – it had been the easiest thing he’d ever done in his life – like he’d been born to it. But when he had touched the tip of that needle against his bulging vein, he heard her voice in his head as she apologized for falling in love with him. He felt her lips against his as she pulled him back from the darkness over and over. And then he heard her tell him that she wanted to take away the pain he felt inside. She’d seen through every wall he built up and knocked them down as if they were matchsticks. She wanted him, the real him, even if he didn’t really know himself who that was.

So he sat there as the minutes ticked by and waited for that tingling at the back of his throat to take over like it always did – to shove Savannah out of his head and replace her with the promise of relief. But all he heard was her, so he put the needle down and just listened and remembered how she tasted, how she felt. And then she was there, her touch real. She had won this time – he’d been able to choose her. But he had to find a way to make sure she was always his first choice.

He felt her stir against him and then sensed her eyes on him. He looked down to see her smiling sleepily at him and he couldn’t help but smile back. He shifted so that he was leaning over her and she instantly wrapped her arms around his back. He kissed her long and deep and heard her sigh. She had probably expected another battle this morning, but he was done fighting. She was his now.

“You have too many clothes on,” he muttered.

“You should probably do something about that,” she responded and then rubbed her hips against his growing erection.

He stilled and grew serious, his eyes capturing hers. “I love you, Savannah. More than you’ll ever know,” he managed before he was kissing her again and then doing something about the clothes like she’d told him to.

***

“Look, there’s a shell right there,” she said, pointing to a white speck in the middle of the six eggs he’d cracked into the glass bowl.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“It’s right there,” she said again as she reached for the fork in his hand.

“It’ll give the omelet a little something extra. Your job is the toast,” he said briskly as he began whipping the mixture with the fork. She gave him a disgusted frown. She was sitting on the kitchen counter, her slim legs on full display, but she had once again snagged one of his shirts to cover the rest of herself with after they’d managed to drag themselves out of bed for sustenance. He wondered if she knew that seeing her dressed in his clothes like this turned him on almost as much as seeing her naked.

He searched for a pan in the cabinet and placed it on the stove. Before he could light it, he heard her say “Oops, Shane, I spilled.” He turned around and sucked in his breath at the sight of her. She was holding the jar of strawberry jam in one hand and was sucking a finger from the other hand in her mouth. A big glob of the jam was on her bare thigh and there was a clear swipe through it where she had run her finger through it – the finger she was now licking clean. “Can you help me clean it up?” she asked innocently as she slid her finger through the jam on her leg once more. If he hadn’t turned painfully hard instantly at the sight of her, he would have enjoyed playing out her little game. He loved that she embraced her sexuality; it was something he never would have guessed about her in a million years, but getting to watch it unfold as her confidence grew was going to be a lot of fun.

She squeaked in surprise as he bypassed her lips all together and latched on to her thigh and sucked the jam off. He lapped at the skin until the sweet, red substance was gone and then he dipped his finger into the jam and yanked her further off the counter, spreading her legs open so he could reach her core. She leaned back on her elbows so she could watch as he spread the jam over her clit. He heard her cry out as he sucked it from her, taking her flesh between his lips. She came hard and fast.

“Are you still on the pill?” he muttered as shoved his sweats down.

She nodded, her eyes lighting up as she realized what the question meant.

“I got tested right after our first time in the hotel and again a few days ago. I’m clean,” he said as his cock sprang free.

“Yes,” was all she said and then he was pulling her down as he thrust into her. He put his arm between her and the sharp edge of the counter as she rode him. Their coupling was frantic and they came at the same time. Once he caught his breath, he kissed her slow and languidly and then told her he got to wear the jam next time. She blushed, but agreed and then disappeared up the stairs to jump in the shower while he finished the omelet. But as soon as he went to try and light the stove for the second time, there was a knock at his door.

He muttered a few colorful curses and then went to answer it.

“Dad,” he said, shocked both to see his father there and by his condition. It was like he had aged ten years in just the few days since their disastrous breakfast. His slacks were wrinkled and there was no jacket or tie to accompany his dress shirt.

“Can I come in son?” Even his voice sounded more aged. Was that even possible?

Shane opened the door and looked up towards the loft. Savannah stood there. She’d managed to pull pants on, but she was still flushed from their lovemaking. A worried look past over her and he wasn’t sure if it was for him or herself. “Come meet my father, sweetheart,” he said. He shot a warning look at his father as Savannah navigated the stairs.

He clasped her hand when she reached the bottom and told her with his eyes and touch that nothing would change between them. He saw her smile shakily and then an almost imperceptible nod. “Dad, this is Savannah. Savannah, this is my father, John Matthews.”

Savannah held out her hand and Shane breathed a silent sigh of relief when his father respectfully took it. “It’s nice to meet you Savannah.”

“What are you doing here? Is mom okay?” Shane asked. He’d seen her just yesterday and aside from her stunning words and jittery behavior, she’d otherwise seemed okay.

“Yes, she’s fine.” His father was having trouble making eye contact with him. It was like the confident, almost arrogant person he knew had left the building and in his place was a shaky, fearful old man.

“I came to ask you if you would join your mother and me for dinner tonight – both of you,” he nodded at Savannah. “We’d love to get to know you better Savannah,” his father said.

“I’d love to Mr. Matthews.”

He nodded. “It’s John.” He turned to look at Shane. “What do you say, son?”

Shane was flummoxed and finally realized he had been silent for too long when Savannah tightened her hand on his. “Um, yeah, sure,” he finally stuttered. “But Savannah and I need to check with some friends today…you remember Gabe Maddox, right?”

“Of course,” his father responded. “Nice young man.”

“His mom died last night. We need to see if he and his girlfriend need anything so we might need to cancel-”

“Yes, yes,” his father said, nodding thoughtfully. “Tell Gabe we’re real sorry for his loss. She was a nice woman before…” his voice trailed off awkwardly.

“I’ll call you later,” Shane said. Suddenly his father’s arms were around him, almost clinging to him. Shock went through him and he automatically released Savannah’s hand so he could return the embrace. He couldn’t remember the last time his father held him and tears stung his eyes at the instant comfort he felt. Would this actually all work out? Would he be able to keep his parents after all this ended?

“Love you Shane,” his father whispered brokenly and then he was gone, pulling the door closed behind him. He felt Savannah’s arms close around him.

“You okay?” she asked.

He nodded dumbly, still off kilter from his father’s display of emotion and declaration.

“Come take a shower with me,” she said gently. “Then you can kick that omelet’s ass.” He was still mute with shock so he just took her hand and trusted her to lead him where he needed to go.

***

“How are you?” Shane asked as Gabe handed him a bottle of water and he followed his friend out onto the balcony. Savannah was inside with Riley helping to coordinate funeral arrangements. He and Savannah had only arrived a few minutes earlier, but Riley used their presence to give Gabe the break he looked like he needed and had ushered them both outside.

“It’s tough,” Gabe admitted. “I kept thinking I had prepared myself in case it ended this way but I guess you never really can.”

“I’m sorry I took off last night – and that I hadn’t gotten there sooner,” Shane said as Gabe dropped down into a deck chair.

“It’s okay. Things happened so fast between getting the call from the police that she’d been found and making the decision to let her go. They actually found her a couple days ago, but it took them a while to figure out who she was and track me down. She was in an abandoned warehouse and paramedics were able to get her heart beating, but the doctors said there was no brain activity after that.” Gabe took a long drink of water. “Afterwards, Riley and I just wanted to get out of there.”

“Yeah,” Shane muttered.

“You can tell me, you know.” Shane looked up at Gabe in confusion. “Whatever it is you’ve been hiding for so long.” Gabe leaned forward in his chair. “You looked like you saw a ghost last night when you saw my mother. I thought maybe it was because of Michael, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

Shane nodded hard.

“It won’t change anything between us,” Gabe insisted.

“It doesn’t seem fair,” Shane said quietly.

“What doesn’t?”

“That I’m the one that has a chance to beat this.” Shane leaned against the railing of the balcony and studied the big pond below them. “Your mother, my brother – they were both so strong but it took them anyway. Why do I get to be the one that walks away from it?”

“Maybe because you have something worth fighting for?” Gabe said evenly, seemingly unsurprised by Shane’s indirect admission.

“Your mother had you. What’s worth fighting for if not your own kid?” Shane asked desperately.

Gabe was thoughtful for a moment. “A year ago I would have agreed with you, but things are different now.” He glanced through the glass doors at the two women and smiled when Riley immediately lifted her eyes as if she sensed he was watching her. There was no wave or blowing of kisses – just a look between lovers, a silent message. “You remember what you said to me? That day in the construction yard that you knocked me on my ass?”

“I said a lot of shit that day,” Shane said, smiling slightly at the memory of the stunned expression on Gabe’s face when Shane had sucker punched him.

Gabe laughed, but then sobered. “You told me she was like my drug. That didn’t make sense at first, but I started to realize you were right. I’d become so used to automatically trying to save her, I never really asked her to fight for me. In my head, I just assumed it would be an easy and automatic choice but it’s not, is it?”

Shane sucked in his breath at the pointed question, more confirmation that Gabe had figured out the truth on his own somehow. “No, it’s not.”

“She didn’t really have anyone to fight for her when it all started. I was just a kid – I took care of her when she couldn’t take of herself. I protected her secret because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know how to fight for her, beside her.”

Gabe stood and looked around the quiet complex. “I can play the maybe game for the rest of my life but it won’t really solve anything. Here’s what I do know,” he said as he turned to look Shane in the eye. “I’ll fight for you Shane. Riley will fight for you. Savannah, Logan, we’ll all fight for you. All you have to do is ask and I swear, you’ll never have to do it on your own again.”

Shane forced some air into his lungs and then closed his eyes. “I need help Gabe.”

***

Savannah saw Shane and Gabe hug and felt a sigh of relief go through her. There’d been no doubt that Gabe would be there for Shane no matter what, but she knew how hard it was for Shane to have to admit the truth about himself to his best friend whose own life he been devastated by the very drug that Shane craved day in and day out.