Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (8 page)

“Nothing,” he said easily. She didn’t believe him, but didn’t say anything when he pulled her to his car and deposited her in the passenger seat. He made casual conversation throughout the drive but it was hollow and her previous excitement drained away. She wanted to beg him to tell her what was going on, but that didn’t fall under the purview of their relationship, did it?

“Maybe I can help,” she said finally.

He looked at her and then back at the road.

“With what?”

“With whatever is bothering you.”

She saw him tighten his jaw, but then he relaxed again and smiled brightly. “I’m good, swear.”

Cold swamped her at the obvious lie and she couldn’t help but wonder how many times she and the other people in his life had fallen for that easy, charming smile and upbeat voice. This wasn’t the Shane she knew, but she had met him before in the past. She’d been too caught up in her naïve, schoolgirl crush to recognize that he was pulling away even then, but she saw it now.

The rest of the ride was made in silence. Dinner was awkward and impersonal and was only interspersed with the occasional comment about how good the food was or what the weather had done today. When he asked for details about her training with Gabe she gave him quick, simple answers because she didn’t want to share her excitement with this Shane. He was absolutely perfect to the outside eye. Impeccable manners, expensive clothes, polite and charming to the hostess and waiter, complimentary to her – any woman watching would have envied her. She just felt sick because she had no idea how to reach him.

When they arrived back at his place, she debated whether or not she should just go home. He invited her up for a drink and she agreed. After showing her into the apartment, he took her coat and hung it up, then asked her what she wanted. She watched him get the soda she asked for and then he prepared himself a drink. It was all completely wrong and her skin crawled as she realized what he was doing.

“Is this the part where you fuck me now?”

***

Shane froze at her words, the swear word sounding unnatural from her lips. When she’d arrived at his place, he had an excuse loaded and ready to go as to why he couldn’t have dinner with her tonight, but then she’d gone and kissed him and the excuse was wiped away. Her entire day had been in that kiss – whatever had happened with Gabe had obviously gone as well as he’d hoped, because she’d put every ounce of her joy and confidence in that kiss. But then her sharp gaze had picked up on the sadness that still lurked in his head after his confrontation with Riley in the diner. And when Savannah had offered him help, something inside of him shifted and changed. He’d entered his safe mode – the place he could go and be whoever he needed to be in that moment. Savannah needed the strong, confident, fun-loving Shane who she could share her day with, not the broody, angry Shane that wanted desperately to find the relief that a few straight, clean lines of coke could bring him.

He’d struggled all day with not calling his old contacts. He’d deleted them from his phone, but he had memorized the numbers long ago. He’d entered them more than once into the keypad on his phone, but hadn’t hit the dial button. The things he’d said to Riley today were cold and cruel and completely untrue, but he couldn’t sit there and let her strip any more layers from him. How could he explain to her that he was always balanced just on the edge of the cliff, his foothold precarious? The slightest thing could send him over into the darkness that he wouldn’t be able to escape this time and he feared he would take those closest with him. After all, his own brother had done it to him. But as bad as he hurt Riley, it paled compared to the agony that knifed through him when he realized Savannah knew exactly what he was doing.

“I mean, that’s what happens next, right Shane?”

He put the soda he’d been getting for her back in the fridge and closed the door. She was still by the door, her body tense, her angry eyes glittering.

“But
I
paid to fuck
you
so I guess that means I get to say what happens next.”

If he didn’t know how much she hurt underneath, he would have found this Savannah intriguing. He loved when she was soft and compliant and curious, but seeing her try to take control called out to his baser needs.

“Take off your shirt,” she ordered coldly.

He knew this game far better than she did and maybe this was the best way to end things between them. He’d been a fool to think he could help her. She was so much stronger then he was. After whatever they were doing here was over, he’d betray her one last time and tell her brother the truth about her and then he’d walk away from all of them.

He reached for the buttons on his shirt and undid them slowly. Women always liked it that way. But her eyes never even left his as he stripped the shirt off and dropped it to the floor. He was standing just over the threshold of the kitchen. She closed the distance between them, her eyes still on his.

“This is what you want, right Shane? You want to give me what I need? I can take whatever I want from you. Like in the hotel room.”

He nodded curtly. She still hadn’t looked at anything but his eyes and had made no effort to touch him.

“I want one kiss,” she said. “Kiss me once like you do all the other women.” She took a step back from him. “If you can keep yourself from me during the kiss like you did at dinner tonight, then I’ll go right now and tell Logan everything. About the rape, about the cutting. You won’t have to stick around out of some sense of guilt or worry that I’ll hurt myself again.”

He knew he was going to fail even as he closed the distance between them and slashed his mouth over hers. He guessed she knew it too. She held herself back at first, probably testing him or judging his kiss. But he wasn’t going to even bother trying to deny what was between them. It didn’t change how things would end, but at least he could have this moment. He bent down and grabbed her around the backs of the thighs and lifted her against him. She squeaked in surprise as he carried her the few steps to the kitchen and deposited her on the counter, stepping between her legs. He took advantage of her open mouth to steal back into it, his hand wrapping around her head and fisting in her hair to keep her from trying to escape him. He knew he was being too aggressive, but when she kissed him back and then wrapped her arms around him, he knew she was still with him.

Tipping her head back, he kissed his way down her throat and then sucked on the spot where her neck met her collar bone. He used his other hand to push the cardigan she was wearing off her shoulder and was glad to see the dress she had on had only a thin strap holding it up – he slid that out of his way too and trailed his lips along her shoulder and then down her breastbone. As he neared the upper slope of her breast, he felt her thighs tighten around his hips. But before he could go any further there was pounding on his front door. Savannah tried to scramble away from him, but he grabbed her hips gently and then waited for her to settle. When she did, he straightened her clothing and then lifted her off the counter. The banging on his door grew heavier and a sinking feeling hit him when he guessed who it might be.

“Stay here,” he said to Savannah as he went to the door and pulled it open. Gabe strode in and instantly grabbed him and slammed him back against the wall next to the door.

“You made her cry you son of a bitch! Are you happy with yourself now?” His friend was beyond enraged, but Shane didn’t struggle or try to break free of his hold. He didn’t try to come up with some flimsy excuse or smartass comeback either because he’d given up that right went he went after Gabe’s girl.

“She even defended you tonight! She’s crying her eyes out and then telling me it wasn’t your fault!” Gabe slammed his head back against the wall hard and Shane shut his eyes. The pain inside was so much worse.

“Gabe!” Savannah’s trembling voice was like a gunshot to both men.

Gabe released him and then took in Savannah’s appearance including the mussed hair and swollen lips. Stunned, he pushed back from Shane, his hands fisting.

“Are you fucking kidding me with this?” he hissed as he motioned to Savannah. “Your best friend’s kid sister?” He shook his head. “Is this why you didn’t want me telling Logan? So you could fuck around with his sister?”

“Stop it!” Savannah shouted at Gabe and then she was standing in front of him, her small frame dwarfed by the big man. If the situation hadn’t been so fucked up, Shane would have enjoyed watching his friend confront an enraged female who didn’t even make it to his shoulder.

“You have no right to judge what’s between Shane and me, Gabe!” She actually gave him a shove even though it had no effect on Gabe’s stance. “Now I’m sorry for whatever happened between Shane and Riley, but you don’t get to come in his home and attack him!”

“Savannah-” Shane started.

“No!” she said to him over her shoulder, but she calmed a bit. “Gabe, please,” she said softly. He must have picked up on something Savannah hadn’t said, because he relaxed and took a couple of steps back, his hand running through his hair in agitation.

“Shane, whatever shit you’re going through – she didn’t deserve that, man.” Gabe’s voice was heavy with pain, whether for him or for Riley, he wasn’t sure.

“I’m sorry Gabe. Tell her I’m sorry.” He felt his voice crack. He pushed away from the wall and headed towards the stairs. “Can you make sure Savannah gets to her car okay?” he said as he passed them and went up the spiral staircase and into his room. He felt both of them watching him, but he was too tired to care.

***

Savannah watched Gabe get his anger under control. Whatever had happened between Shane and Riley must have been bad because she couldn’t imagine anything else that would make Gabe turn on Shane.

“What happened?” she finally asked.

Gabe repeated what Shane had told Riley and Savannah stifled a gasp. It was cruel and unfeeling and not at all like the Shane she knew.

“I don’t know him anymore,” Gabe muttered sadly, his thoughts clearly mirroring hers. “Come on, get your stuff. I’ll walk you to your car.”

“I’m staying.”

“Savannah…”

“Gabe, I’m not a kid anymore. I haven’t been in a really long time.” Pain lanced through his features as he realized she was referring to her stolen innocence. “He may not want me here, but he needs me.”

“He could end up destroying you, Savannah.”

She took in a deep breath because she was well aware that was the likely outcome, but it didn’t change things. “At least it will be my choice.”

Gabe studied her for a long time and then nodded. He glanced up towards the loft once more, shook his head and then left, closing the door softly behind him.

Chapter 9

“You shouldn’t be here Savannah,” he said quietly from where he sat on the bed. The room was almost completely dark except for a dim lamp on his nightstand. She could see his hunched back, his head in his hands. Pain radiated off him in waves.

“I know,” she said as she moved to stand in front of him. She pressed forward a little bit and he instantly opened his legs so she could stand between them. He lowered his arms and she leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

“Things will be the same tomorrow,” he said weakly.

“I know,” she said as she lowered herself so that she straddled his lap.

“I’ll still have clients.”

“I know.” She tipped his head back and brushed her lips briefly over his.

“I’ll still have a girlfriend.”

“I know,” she whispered as she settled more fully against him. She felt his arms come up to wrap around her waist.

“I may not be able to stop if you need me to,” he said unevenly even as he slid one of his hands up towards her breast.

“You will.”

He groaned and kissed her as his hand skimmed her breast. Sensation shot through her at the contact and when he tweaked her nipple through the fabric of her clothes, she hissed at the unexpected pleasure. His hands worked to pull her cardigan off and then he was kissing a path down her neck. His nimble fingers pulled both of the shoulder straps of her dress down and since her small size meant she could forgo a bra if she wanted to, his lips found skin right away. He gave her no warning, just sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and bit down lightly. She cried out and then fisted her hands in his hair to hold him closer as he laved her taut skin with his tongue.

His fingers pressed against her back to pull her even closer and then his attention was on her other breast. She bit her lip to stifle a scream and then his tongue was back in her mouth, searching, loving. Any fear she had flew out the window when she pulled back and saw his dark, hooded gaze watching her. She knew things were going to change between them – and probably not for the better – but walking away was no longer an option.

***

Shane willed his hands to stop as they slid down her sides to her hips and then along her thighs. They were both vulnerable right now and doing this would just make everything worse, but his mind and body seemed disconnected. He felt the muscles in her thighs tighten as he pushed the thin material of her skirt up and felt her smooth skin. He realized then that in the few times he’d been with her, he hadn’t actually seen her without her clothes. His body was screaming at him to take her, to relieve the ache inside of him, but he didn’t want it to be over too quickly because this was the only time he would have with her. He let his fingers curl around the backs of her thighs and then up to cup her ass, the thin fabric of her panties blocking him from feeling everything he wanted to feel.

“I need to see you this time,” he muttered as he tugged at the dress and started pulling it up. She lifted her arms willingly as he pulled it up and over her head. Her trust humbled him. Throwing the dress aside, he pulled her back down for another scorching kiss. He loosened her hair which she had fashioned into a simple ponytail at the nape of her neck. The black waves flowed over his hands as he stroked up and down her back and she began to fervently kiss him back.

Her hot little tongue dueled with his and then she was in his mouth, her lips slanting over his as she tried to get as deep as she could. Her fingers actually grabbed his ears in a bid to keep him still so she could do what she wanted to his mouth. He complied, but let his fingers drift along the edge of her panties where the silky fabric met the soft skin of her lower back. When he dipped one of his hands under the material to skim the perfect globes of her ass, she shuddered and dropped her head back.

Her position gave him perfect access to her breasts so he licked and sucked on each one in turn. He ran his tongue down between them and then explored the supple skin of each mound of flesh. He stopped when he reached a patch of skin that was slightly raised just to the right of her nipple. A scar, he realized. He explored the other breast and found another scar, this one seemed to actually circle the nipple. She didn’t give him time to ponder the origin of the marks because her hips pushed hard against him as her hands curled around his shoulders.

Suddenly she was tugging at his shirt, trying to pull it over his head. He reluctantly released his hold on her breast to get rid of the offending fabric, not even bothering to unbutton it first – he just jerked it up and over his head. Her hands were all over him then, touching, stroking and the flexible fabric of the dress slacks he was wearing became increasingly uncomfortable as his cock sought her warmth. He grabbed the backs of her legs and then stood so he could lay her down on the bed underneath him. When his weight settled on her, he felt her stiffen and he froze. A flash of panic went through her eyes.

“Savannah,” he said softly. His voice seemed to be what she needed to ground her back in the present and he felt her relax and open her legs so that his hips could fit more freely against hers. He kissed her again until he felt her start to squirm with need and then he worked his way down her body. They were near the edge of the bed so when he reached her thighs, he actually dropped his knees down to the floor and pulled her so that her legs dangled off the mattress. There was just enough light from the tiny lamp on his nightstand to show her splayed before him, her plump, wet lips slightly parted, her eyes bright with lust. Her arms rested at her sides, her fingers pressed into the bedding. Her breasts rose and fell with each rapid breath. He watched for fear as he caressed her stomach and when he saw none, he put his fingers under the waistband of her panties and stripped them off her.

He kept eye contact with her as his fingers searched out her clit. She had only a thin strip of smooth hair just above it and when he ran the rough pads of his fingertips over the swollen bud, she shuddered and closed her eyes at the contact. He lowered his mouth and stroked the little nub with his tongue. She cried out and pushed her hips up against his hands, but he held her down. When he sucked her into his mouth, he heard her say his name in a harsh whisper and then she was dropping her legs open further for him.

He used one hand under her ass to lift her higher as he alternated between stroking and sucking her while his other hand sought out her opening. He tensed when he felt how wet she already was. He pressed one finger in just a little and felt her instantly tighten. He glanced up to check that she was okay and was caught off guard to see her watching him, her mouth parted as little pants escaped her lips. Seeing her watch what he was doing turned him on even more and he began to furiously stroke her clit with his tongue as he pressed his finger further inside of her. Her body was tight around his digit and she was desperately lifting her hips to match the rhythm his probing tongue had set.

When he added another finger and began thrusting them in and out of her, he felt her body start to ripple and he knew it wouldn’t take much more to send her over. She was clawing at the bed frantically and then one of her hands was in his hair, her grip stinging his scalp as she tried to speed him up. He gave her what she wanted and sucked hard on her clit as he curled his fingers inside of her. Her body tightened further and with one more thrust and stroke combination she was coming and he felt her insides clamp down on his fingers to keep him there. She screamed his name and forced herself down on his fingers as far as she could and then her body was beyond her control as she helplessly rode out the spasms of her release. She went limp around him but even then her body twitched with aftershocks.

He pulled free of her and she watched as he licked his fingers clean. He lifted up and over her and kissed her, letting her taste herself. Even in her sated state, she kissed him back with the same passion she did every time their mouths met. “I need you,” he whispered against her lips.

“Yes,” she responded as she ran her hands down his back, her legs lifting so that her hips could hold his. “I need you. All of you,” she muttered before he claimed her mouth again. Her breasts rubbed against his chest and he could feel her arousal building all over again. He lifted himself off her and removed his pants. She watched him with open curiosity and hunger as he fumbled around in his nightstand drawer for the foil packet he knew was there. It felt like hours before he managed to get the condom on. He leaned back over her, but held his weight off of her.

“Scoot back a little,” he said. When she had moved closer to the middle of the mattress, he settled a knee between hers and leaned down to kiss her.

“Is this position okay?” he asked.

She seemed too overwhelmed to speak so she just nodded. He reached down to her entrance to make sure she was still ready for him and when his fingers came away slick, he carefully lowered his hips until he was resting against her. He used his hands to angle her hips higher and felt his tip press against her. He pressed in a little and when he heard only a gasp of awareness from her, he used more pressure to breach her. Her hands were wrapped around his upper arms and he felt the tips of her fingers bite into his skin.

“It’s so good Shane,” she cried as he gained another inch. She was hot and tight around him and he felt like his head was going to explode from the sheer pleasure. Sweat dripped down his brow as he slowly thrust in and out, his dick sinking in a little further each time. He lost his control after a few strokes and pushed into her as far as he could go. She cried out, but when he felt her legs wrap around him he knew she was okay and he pulled almost all the way out before sliding back in.

“You’re so tight…so perfect,” he mumbled as his lips sought out hers, his tongue mimicking what his lower body was doing. He felt his balls start to tighten and knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. The way she met his strokes with her hips told him she was close too and he increased his pace. His heavy lunges were pushing her farther up the bed so he curled his body around hers to use his weight to keep her upper body still while his lower body hammered in and out of her.

He felt her lips against his neck, her gasps matching his thrusts. He shifted his hips so that his pelvis stroked her clit on each upward stroke and she began crying in earnest. Within moments, her inner muscles were tightening on him and she began to pulse around him as a scream ripped from her lips. He pumped into her a few more times and then followed her with his own release. He shouted into the bedding next to her head at the pleasure that raced through him and the last thing he remembered was her whispering his name in his ear as she clung to him.

***

Savannah knew Shane was gone before she was even fully awake the next morning. She was surprised that he’d stayed in bed with her as long as he had because as soon as their passion had cooled, she felt him start to pull away from her. Physically he had stayed and held her in his arms, but the emotional distance had been obvious and not a word had been spoken between them once he got her settled under the covers. She’d known this would be the likely outcome, but it didn’t hurt any less, especially after the way he had made her feel the night before.

From the second his lips had brushed hers and his hands caressed her, she was a goner. Even in his heightened state of arousal, everything he’d done had been for her. He’d even felt her momentary surge of fear when he had placed her beneath him, but instead of backing off or ignoring it, he’d simply said her name to bring her back, to remind her who she was with and then he had rekindled the flame of passion that had initially fled at the change in position. When he’d made her come with just his mouth, it was unlike anything she’d ever felt until he had joined his body with hers. At that point she knew that he would be the only one for her because what she felt went so much deeper than the physical. He had filled the parts inside her that always seemed to be empty and hollow. She just hadn’t been able to do the same for him and it was a harsh truth to accept.

Forcing herself to sit up, she looked around the dark room, secretly hoping there would be a note, but there wasn’t one. She got out of the bed, her body still deliciously sore, and searched out her clothes. At some point he had neatly folded them and placed them on a chair in the corner of the room. Seeing them that way actually hurt because it made her feel like he’d done it to further distance himself from what they’d done – cleaning up after an unruly guest, not leaving behind an impassioned lover. Pulling on her clothes, she went downstairs and gathered her jacket and purse. She didn’t bother to look for a note down there because there wouldn’t be one – she was getting the message loud and clear. She forced herself not to take one more desperate glance around her before she left the apartment.

***

Savannah entered the coffee shop and instantly found Riley sitting at a table in the corner by the window. She waved and then went to the counter to place her order. She’d gotten off of work a half an hour ago and had every intention of going home and confiding her sorrows to Mr. Pickles, but when the text from Riley came through on her phone, she was both interested and wary at the timing of Gabe’s girlfriend’s invitation.

Riley had only recently moved to Seattle and had hooked up with Gabe less than six months ago. Savannah had finished school and moved back home within weeks of the drama that had brought Gabe and Riley together. While they had hung out and politely chatted every week at family dinner, which Riley had instituted right after she and Gabe moved in together, they hadn’t really grown close. Savannah knew that was mostly her fault since Riley had actually reached out to her numerous times. But college had been a harsh lesson in what friendship really was and Savannah found building connections with anyone, man or woman, was nearly impossible when she kept hearing the cruel taunts of her classmates in her head. She’d had many friends in middle school but after her parents had died, most of her friends didn’t know how to be around her and had distanced themselves. After she’d been assaulted, the idea of trying to make friends was the last thing on her mind.