Shark Bait (The Grab Your Pole Series) (37 page)

Then he stood up in irritation, grabbed the shirt back, and pulled my top from my hand—yeah, I know—then he tossed it on the bed and pulled his shirt over my head. It was a particularly uncomfortable and oddly exciting moment, for me at least, but neither of us acted on the sexual energy that was zapping at us. I think that’s mainly because I’m still pretty mad and he not only knows that, but I also think he’s feeling some form of remorse for his actions, although he still hasn’t uttered an apology of any kind.

Then he sighed. “I didn’t know. I mean I thought...Christ, I was so fuckin’ blazed…”

“That’s your excuse?” I asked somewhat incredulous. I mean I can understand that in small part,
maybe
, but I’m more bent about the fact that he never told me in the first place.

“I didn’t say it was a good one…but honestly, Camie, I was
so
fuckin’ stoned that I actually thought she was you. Maybe if I’d been sober enough to think of looking at her when she first crawled onto me I would’ve known but...I was laying on the couch listening to my iPod and thinking about that day at the beach...so, when she kissed me, I guess I just went with it because I wanted it to be you. Then when I realized she wasn’t, I pushed her off me and then I went straight outside and threw myself in the goddamned pool to sober up,” he told me dismally and in a pleading way, he tugged at the hem of my shirt (his shirt, whatever). “I swear to God it was an accident, Camie. It didn’t mean
anything
, it didn’t,” he insisted softly, pulling me to him.

I allowed him to draw me into a genuine hug. I couldn’t help myself and it felt so incredibly good just to have his arms wrapped around me that I almost forgot I was still mad. And I am actually still very angry with him so when he bent and lowered his head to kiss me, I turned my face away.

“Why?” He asked, hurt that I’d shunned him.

“Because I’m still really mad at you, Tristan, and when we kiss, everything else completely disappears. Do you know what I mean?” I asked him seriously.

I know how I get when his lips are on me and even though it might not be the same for him, I’m not ready to get swept away right now. I haven’t forgiven him.

“Oh hell yes. Everything fades away until nothing matters anymore, not even breathing. Everything around us, the entire world and every little thing in it vanishes and absolutely nothing matters except
you
and
me
,” he answered, giving his own startlingly accurate description of what happens when we kiss. Then he sat down on the bed again, but pulled me with him so I was cradled in his lap.

“Why
is
that?” I’ve been wondering about this since the very first kiss and I’m thinking “he who knows his way around chicks better than anyone else “Dear Jeff” knows” will certainly have an answer to this simple quandary. I mean come on, he has to have kissed a bunch of girls and felt that before with at least some of them.

He sighed, resting his forehead against mine. “I don’t know.”

Jesus...my track record for being wrong is becoming disturbing.

“Why not? Haven’t you ever experienced that before?” I asked as he gently brushed my hair from my face and gazed longingly into my eyes; the rawness of emotion swimming in his just about undid me.

Also, in case you haven’t picked up on it, this is a very tender and open moment for us…it’s pretty freaking great. I mean it doesn’t change anything, but it’s wonderful nonetheless.

Tristan seemed to find my query rather amusing however, and he started chuckling. “Fuck no. Camie, I’ve done a lot of stuff and I’ve done it all with
a
lot
of girls and that’s definitely one thing that’s at the top of my Only Camie list. In fact, that’s what made me realize I wasn’t with you…”

For some reason, I didn’t care for how blasé he’d said all that and I began to feel rigid again. The problem, though, was that Tristan didn’t notice my adverse reaction to his words.

“I mean there were other things that were off too…she didn’t smell like you, she was built differently, she certainly didn’t taste like you, and when she unzipped my pants and wrapped her hand around me, I remember thinking it was a totally unexpected surprise coming from you...not that I was gonna complain or anything (Something inside me just snapped and now I’m irate.), but when I went to roll to my side with her, my earbuds got pulled out… I mean it was instant. All of a sudden I could actually
hear
everything
around me and I knew right away she wasn’t you… Jesus, if that hadn’t happened, it would’ve been
so
much worse,” he finished, shaking his head in disbelief and not realizing his re-cap of what was very clearly a near miss in a sexual misadventure had smoke coming out of my ears.

Now I’m fucking livid.

“Huh. So, I’m curious…why did you stop?” I’m totally fuming fire and brimstone.

“What?”
Tristan asked like he’d misunderstood the question.

“Well, I know it’s been probably what? Eight weeks or so since you fucked that cheerleader from Valhalla and you sure as hell weren’t getting anything from
me
, so why didn’t you just end your dry spell last Saturday? Unless of course there’ve been
other
girls I don’t know about, and let’s face it, you wouldn’t tell me even if there was,” I spewed venomously. I’m really so very out of my mind with anger right now that I
want
to hurt him.

“
What?!
How the fuck do you know about
her
?” He asked, totally shocked and even a little angry now himself.

I pushed myself off of his lap and glared hatefully at him. “Not from you, that’s for damned sure. And I’m guessing because you didn’t deny there having been others in the last two months, and much to your dismay, you
know
I wasn’t doing it for you, that’s why you didn’t feel the need to finish what that skank started last week. You know actually, you’re just as despicable as she is. Really, you guys should go out, you’re the perfect slutty couple. I mean that’s all you’re interested in anyhow…you proved that on our ‘date’,” I said, my voice dripping in scornfully noxious sarcasm.

He stood up to face me and yelled, “Where the
fuck
is
this
coming from, Camie? I don’t know what the fuck you’re getting at here, but so we’re clear…I haven’t so much as
looked
at another goddamned person since I met you, I’ve never
once
pressured you, and that is
NOT all I want from you!
”

I snatched my torn top from the bed, held it up and shouted,
“NO?!”

“Oh my God, Camie, you fucking
know
what that was about!” He shouted back at me.

“Oh really?! You’re such a fuckin’ liar Tristan! Tell me what you
really
want from me…tell me what you
wish
I
would
do
,” I said malevolently. I’m moving towards a dark place here and I know it, but I really don’t care right now.

“What I wish? I wish you’d fuckin’ get over this and believe me!
I am not only looking for sex!
” He hollered.

He sounds very angry again and I think even hurt, but I’m so not rational right now. On the contrary, I’m about to step into the deep and ugly rabbit hole of vulgarity…

“Uh-huh…tell me Tristan, who’s the boat? Because if it’s me, I’ll need some gum,” I said with a callous sneer.

That
got his attention and not in a good way either. He narrowed his eyes at me and clenched his teeth, and I knew, without a single doubt, this was gonna be vicious…

Tristan reached into the pocket of his jeans to retrieve a pack of gum, then he tossed at me and off kicked his shoes. Then, he started unbuttoning his pants. He stopped abruptly with the zipper more than halfway down and almost like it was an afterthought and he was just trying to be considerate, he said, “Oh, did you wanna be the one to do this?”

I threw the gum back at him and I swear you could’ve choked on the vile and rancorous atmosphere swirling around us.

He caught the gum in one hand, threw it aside and then said vindictively, “Okay, I can be the boat…I’m
more
than good with that, but
I
won’t need the gum.”

I was standing there, already shaking with rage, when he went one step further… The surround system is wired for the entire house so music’s been playing the entire time and when he recognized the song coming in through the speakers, he cocked his head to the side slightly, listening to it or considering it in some way, and then cruelly he said, “Hey, you hear that? They’re playing your song.”

At the exact same time Tristan said it, Mike opened the door with his hands over his eyes so he wouldn’t see something he shouldn’t and said, “Don’t mind me, I just gotta get something…”

Understanding that Tristan had just called me a bitch, because the song that’s playing is “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks, I spit out contemptuously, my voice full of acid,
“Go to hell.”

Then, just as I turned and started for the door, Tristan infused his chivalrous words with icy coldness and said, “Ladies first.”

Mike was just standing there in stunned silence looking back and forth between us when I left the room. I didn’t run in my escape, but...maybe I should’ve. I would’ve at least gotten farther than the game room before I heard the thunder of Tristan’s roar. Without looking back to see if he was coming after me, I picked up the pace but he caught up to me so fast that I didn’t even get three feet into the game room that still was crowded with people.

All of a sudden his arms were around my waist and I was in a vice-like grip, my arms trapped to my sides as he lifted me from the floor. This time, I did try to struggle. It was a valiant effort on my part but it really didn’t do any good. The power of my substantial fury was no match for Tristan’s even more considerable physical strength. Plus, out of the corner of my eye, I saw that our host had caught up to us.

So, while I writhed and thrashed about, Mike abetted my captor by saying, “Move along folks, nothing to see here…” and with a large box of condoms in one hand, he began waving back all the people who were staring, gawking and snapping pictures; ultimately obliging Tristan with a clear path as he manhandled me back towards the room.

“Let go of me!”
I demanded furiously.

“No, goddamn it! We’re gonna fuckin’ talk about this if it takes us all goddamned night!” He growled.

With that declaration and remembering what Mike was waving about, I’m thinking I have just as long a night ahead of me as Kristen must...

19.

Single Or Double Digits?

Once back in the room, Tristan slammed the door shut and I started to rail at him again.

“You are a
fucking
ASSHOLE
!” I screamed at him.

I should mention that he’s completely blocking the door too or I would’ve tried to fly again. He’s also surprisingly calm.

“Yeah, and you were being a fuckin’ bitch, Camie,” he told me in a normal tone of voice. Honestly, it’s like he’s done a complete one-eighty from where he was just minutes ago.

Instead of using words to attack him this time, I went the physical route and started hitting him. Not in the face, though. I tried, but he caught my wrist before I could make contact. Other than that, he’s letting me wale on him without trying to defend himself in the slightest.

“You can beat the shit outta me for hours, Camie, verbally or otherwise, but I’m not gonna hit back again...that was way over the top. You just came at me really fuckin’ hard and it was gut instinct, but I won’t go there again even if you do. I don’t know how you heard what I said and I know Jeff’s not stupid enough to tell you or anyone else, but you need to understand it had absolutely
nothing
to do with you,” he told me very rationally, patiently taking the beating I’m giving him. I’m fighting tears now too, though.

“Do you actually exp—”

“Shut up and hear me out please,” he said quietly.

“Why should I?” I took a step back, not only losing the boxing match with him, but the fight with my tears as well.

“Aw Camie…”

The deep-hearted compassion he imbedded in those two simple words when he saw the waterworks pouring forth from my eyes was too much for me. I allowed him to draw me back into him, enveloping me in his arms again, but instead of being vice-like, they were wonderfully comforting.

So while I cried into his naked chest, he began what I’ve come to think of not as round two exactly, but more like where we should’ve started in the first place rather than the knock-down-drag-out fight we’ve been having, which, I’m afraid, has left some scars.

“Camie, I’m not gonna lie, I do want you far more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before and if I thought you were willing, I’d have you stripped naked and in this bed in less than a heartbeat, but that is
so not all
I want from you. I made that boat comment to Jeff because I didn’t wanna hear what he was saying… I didn’t wanna acknowledge that he was right and I didn’t wanna admit that what I did would hurt you. It was a self-defense mechanism, just like what I said to you however many minutes ago was. Camie, look at me.” He took my chin and forced me to meet his imploring eyes. “It has been
killing
me all week long knowing regardless of whether you ever found out, that what I did would cause you pain. I don’t even know how to
begin
to make up for that. But, I can’t go back and erase that any more than I can the other things I did before I met you…can we just please move past all of that and start over?”

“What…like a do-over, Tristan? I don’t think I can do that,” I told him quite honestly. I mean really, if only…

“Why not?” He asked, disappointment very evident in both his tone and expression.

“Okay look. Kate’s voicemail recorded almost all of that argument you had with Jeff and even though
I
thought we weren’t being exclusive, well…honestly Tristan, I was having a problem with what you did even
before
I found out you weren’t planning on telling me. And I thought I could maybe get over it because I wanted to be with you in the most desperate way, and afterwards I kept praying you’d just come and tell me the truth, but you
never did
.” I stopped and sighed with tears streaming down my face. “And now, I just don’t know if I can or if I even
want
to be with you.”