Read Shatter Me Complete Collection Online
Authors: Tahereh Mafi
It’s raining like hell.
It’s cold and wet and muddy and shitty and I hate this. I scowl at Kenji and Juliette, jealous of their fancy suits. Those things are built to give them protection from this crazy winter weather. I should’ve asked for one.
I’m already freezing my ass off.
We’re at the clearing, the barren stretch at the entrance of Omega Point, and most everyone else has scattered. Our only defense is guerrilla warfare, so we’ve been divided into groups. Me; an ill, barely-able-to-walk-straight Kenji; and Juliette (who’s officially locked herself in her own head today)—
this
is our team.
Yeah, I’m definitely worried.
Anyway, at least Kenji is doing his thing: we’re already invisible. But now it’s time to find the action and join in. The sound of gunshots rings out loud and clear, so we’ve already got a direction to move in. No one speaks, but we already know the rules: we fight to protect the innocent, and we fight to survive. That’s it.
The rain is really messing things up, though. It’s falling harder and faster now, pelting me in the face and blurring my vision. I can hardly see straight. I try to wipe the water from my eyes but it’s no use. There’s too much.
I do know we’re getting closer to the compounds, so at least there’s that. The outline of the buildings comes into focus and I feel myself getting excited. I’m armed to the teeth and ready to fight—ready to do whatever is necessary to take down The Reestablishment—but I’m not gonna lie: I’m still a little worried we’ve got a handicap.
Juliette has never done this before.
If it were up to me, she’d be back on base with James where I know she’d be safe, but she wouldn’t listen to me even if I asked her to. Kenji and Castle are always blowing smoke up her ass when they shouldn’t, and honestly? It’s dangerous. It’s not good to make her think she can do this kind of thing when really, it’ll probably get her killed. She’s not a soldier; she doesn’t know how to fight; and she has no idea how to use her powers, not really, which makes things even worse. It’s basically like giving a toddler a stick of dynamite and telling him to walk into a fire.
So yeah, I’m worried. I’m really worried something is going to happen to her. And maybe to us, by extension.
But no one ever listens to me, so here we are.
I sigh and forge ahead, irritated, until I hear a piercing scream in the distance. High alert. Kenji squeezes my hand and I squeeze back to let him know I understand.
The compounds are straight ahead, and Kenji pulls us forward until we’re standing flush against the back wall of a unit. There’s just enough overhang from the roof to keep the rain off. It’s just my shitty luck that we’re doing this on a rainy day.
My clothes are so wet I feel like I’ve pissed my pants.
Kenji elbows me, just a little, and I’m paying attention again. I hear the sound of a door slam open and I go rigid; I reach for my gun automatically. It feels like I’ve been through this a million times before, but it’s never something I get used to.
“This is the last of them,” a voice shouts. “She was hiding out over here.”
A soldier is dragging a woman out of her home and she won’t stop screaming. My heart speeds up, and I grip my gun more tightly. It’s sick, the way some of the soldiers treat the civilians. I get that he’s under orders—I really do—but the poor woman is begging for mercy and he’s dragging her by the hair and shouting at her to shut up.
Kenji is barely breathing next to me. I glance Juliette’s way before I realize we’re still invisible, and as I turn my head, I catch a glimpse of another soldier. He jogs over from across the field and shoots the first guy a signal. Not the kind of signal I was hoping for.
Shit
.
“Toss her in with everyone else,” the other soldier is saying now. “And then we’ll call this area clear.” Suddenly he’s gone, around the corner, and no one’s left but us, one soldier, and the lady he’s holding hostage. Other soldiers must’ve rounded up the remaining civilians before we got here.
Then the woman loses it. She’s completely hysterical and doesn’t seem to be in control of her body anymore. She’s gone totally animal, screeching and clawing and flailing, tripping over her own feet. She’s asking after her husband and her daughter and I almost have to close my eyes. It’s hard to watch this stuff when I already know what’s going to happen. War never gets easier when you don’t agree with what’s going on. Sometimes I let myself get excited about going to battle—I have to convince myself I’m doing something worthwhile—but fighting another soldier is way easier than dealing with some lady who’s about to watch her daughter get shot in the head.
Juliette will probably puke.
The action is so close to us now that I instinctively press my back into the wall, forgetting again that we’re invisible. The soldier grabs the lady and slams her body against the outside of the unit, and I feel the three of us collectively freak out for a second, calming down just in time to watch the soldier press the barrel of his gun to the lady’s neck and say, “If you don’t shut up I’ll shoot you right now.” What an asshole.
The lady faints.
The soldier doesn’t seem to care. He pulls her out of sight—in the same direction his comrade went—and that’s our cue to follow. I can hear Kenji cursing under his breath. He’s got a soft stomach, that guy. He was always soft when it came to this stuff. I met him for the first time on one of our rounds; when we came back, Kenji lost his shit. Just completely lost it. They put him in solitary confinement for a little while, and after that he kept his emotional breakdowns to a minimum. Most soldiers know better than to complain out loud. I should’ve known then that Kenji wasn’t really one of us.
I shudder against the cold.
We’re still following the soldier, but it’s hard to stay too close to him in this weather. Visibility is shot, and the wind is blowing the rain around so hard it’s almost like we’re trapped in a hurricane. This is going to get ugly really quickly.
Then, a small voice: “What do you think is going on?”
Juliette.
Of course she has no idea what’s happening—why would she?
The smart thing to do would be to hide her somewhere. Keep her safe. Out of danger. A weak link can bring everything down with it, and I don’t think this is the time to be taking chances. But Kenji, as usual, doesn’t seem to agree. Apparently he doesn’t mind making time to give Juliette a tutorial on being at war in Sector 45.
“They’re herding them up,” Kenji explains. “They’re creating groups of people to kill all at once.”
“The woman—,” Juliette says.
“Yeah.” Kenji cuts her off. “Yeah,” Kenji says again. “She and whoever else they think might be connected to the protests,” he says. “They don’t just kill the inciters. They kill the friends and the family members, too. It’s the best way to keep people in line. It never fails to scare the shit out of the few left alive.”
I have to jump in before Juliette asks any more questions. Those soldiers aren’t going to wait patiently for us to get there—we have to make a move now, and we need a plan. “There has to be a way to get them out of there,” I say. “Maybe we can take out the soldiers in charge—”
“Yeah but listen, you guys know I’m going to have to let go of you, right?” Kenji asks. “I’m already kind of losing strength; my energy is fading faster than normal. So you’ll be visible. You’ll be a clearer target.”
“But what other choice do we have?” Juliette asks.
She’s like the second coming of James. I feel for my gun, flexing and unflexing my fingers around it. We need to get going.
We need to move
now
.
“We could try to take them out sniper-style,” Kenji says. “We don’t have to engage in direct combat. We have that option.” He pauses. “Juliette, you’ve never been in this kind of situation before. I want you to know I’d respect your decision to stay out of the direct line of fire. Not everyone can stomach what we might see if we follow those soldiers. There’s no shame or blame in that.”
Yes. Good. Let her stay behind where she won’t get hurt.
“I’ll be okay,” she says.
I swear under my breath.
“Just—all right—but don’t be afraid to use your abilities to defend yourself,” Kenji says. He seems a little nervous about her, too. “I know you’re all weird about not wanting to hurt people or whatever, but these guys aren’t messing around. They
will
try to kill you.”
“Right,” Juliette says. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Juliette shouldn’t have to see this.
Six soldiers have rounded up almost thirty civilians—a mix of men, women, and children—and they’re going to kill them. It’s basically a firing squad. They’ll just go down the row,
pop pop pop
, and then drag the dead bodies away. Put them into an incinerator. Clean it up, nice and simple.
It’s disgusting.
I’m not sure what the soldiers are waiting for, though. Maybe they need final approval from somewhere, but there’s a slight delay as they talk amongst themselves. It’s raining really freaking hard, so that might have something to do with it. Honestly, they might not even be able to see where they’re shooting. We should be taking advantage of this opportunity. This weather might end up helping us out in the end.
I squint against the rain and take a closer look at the people, trying hard not to lose my head. They’re not doing too well, and I’m not either, to be honest. Some are pretty hysterical, and it makes me wonder how I would do in a situation like that. Maybe I’d be like that guy in the middle, standing there with absolutely no expression on his face. He looks almost like he’s accepted what’s going to happen, and somehow, his certainty hits me even harder than the tears.
A shot rings out.
Dammit
.
A guy on the far left falls to the ground and I’m shaking with anger. These people need our help. We can’t just hang back and watch thirty unarmed, innocent people get killed when we could find a way to save them. We’re supposed to be
doing
something
, but we’re standing here for some bullshit reason I can’t understand because Juliette is scared or Kenji is sick and I guess the truth is we’re just a bunch of crappy teenagers, two of whom can barely stand up straight or fire a weapon, and it’s unacceptable. I’m just about to say something—I’m about to yell something, actually—when Kenji lets go of my hand.
About goddamn time.
We charge straight ahead and my gun is already up and aimed. I spot the soldier who fired the first shot and I know I need to fire; there’s no room for hesitation. I get lucky: he goes down instantly. Five more soldiers to take out—soldiers I’m hoping I won’t recognize—and I’m doing my best, but it’s not easy. It was pure luck that got me that first target; it’s almost impossible to shoot well in this weather. I can barely see where I’m going, much less where I’m shooting, but I drop to the ground just in time to avoid a stray bullet. At least the rain is making it hard for them to take us out, too.
Kenji is making miracles happen today.
He’s invisible now, and working fast. He’s staying sharp despite being injured, and he’s just a part of the wind, taking out three soldiers in one go. Two soldiers are left and they’re distracted by Kenji’s dance just long enough for me to take one down. One more left and I’m about to take him out, too, when I see Juliette shoot him from behind.
Not bad.
Kenji reappears just then and he starts bellowing for the civilians to follow us back to shelter, and Juliette and I join in, doing what we can to get them to safety as quickly as possible. There are a few compounds still standing, and they should be enough. The civilians can get inside and away from the battle—as well as the storm brewing in the sky. And even though their gratitude is touching, we can’t stop long enough to talk to them. We have to settle them back into their homes, and then keep moving.
It’s what I’ve always done.
Always keep moving.
I glance at Juliette as we run, wondering how she’s holding up, and for a second I’m confused; I can’t tell if she’s crying or if it’s just the rain streaking down her cheeks. I’m hoping she’ll be okay, though. It kills me to see her deal with this. I wish she didn’t have to.
We’re running again, charging through the compounds now that we’ve gotten the civilians back into their homes. This was just a stop on the way to our final destination; we haven’t even reached the battlefield yet, where Point men and women are already trying to keep Reestablishment soldiers from slaughtering innocent civilians. Things are about to get much, much worse.
Kenji is pulling us through the half-demolished landscape. I know we’re getting closer to the action now because there’s so much more devastation here: units falling apart and half on fire, their contents strewn everywhere. Ripped couches and broken lamps, clothes and shoes and fallen bodies to step over. The compounds feel like they could stretch on forever, and the farther we go, the uglier it gets.
“We’re close!” I shout to Kenji.
He nods, and I’m surprised he even heard me.
I hear a familiar sound. “Tanks!” I call out to him. “You hear that?”
Kenji shoots me a bleak look and nods. “Let’s move!” he says, making a motion with his hand. “We’re not far now!”
It’s a fight to get to the fight, the wind whistling hard in our ears and slapping sharply against our faces, angry raindrops pelting our skin, soaking our hair. I’m frozen to the bone but there’s no time to be bothered by it. I’ve got adrenaline, and that’ll have to be enough for now.
The earth shakes under our feet as a harsh, booming sound explodes in the sky. In an instant the horizon is lit on fire, flames roaring in the distance. Someone is dropping bombs, and that means we’re already screwed. My heart is beating fast and hard, and I’d never admit it out loud, but I’m starting to get nervous.
I glance at Juliette again. I know she’s probably scared, and I want to reassure her—to tell her everything is going to be okay—but she doesn’t look my way. She’s in another world, her eyes cold and sharp, focused on the fire in the distance. She looks different—a little scary, even. Somehow, that worries me even more.
I’m paying such close attention to her that I almost trip; the ground is slick underfoot and I’m up to my ankles in mud. I pull my legs free as we forge ahead, gun steady in my hands, and focus. This is it. This is where it’s all about to get very serious, and I know enough about war to be honest with myself: I might walk onto that battlefield with a beating heart and be dragged off with a dead one.
I take a deep breath as we approach, three invisible kids walking through the compounds. We make our way over fallen units, broken glass from shattered windows; we sidestep the garbage strewn about and try not to hear the sound of people screaming. And I don’t know about the rest of us, but I’m doing my best to fight the urge to turn around and run back to where we started.
Suddenly James is the only person on my mind.