Shattered: An Extreme Risk Novel (26 page)

Ash doesn’t give me much time to be embarrassed, though. He rips the condom open, slides it on under my fascinated gaze. And then he’s back, leaning over me, his arms braced on either side of my head.

“I can still stop,” he tells me softly, between kisses.

“Don’t you dare.” I tangle my legs with his, arch into his touch.

I feel him then, hot and hard and heavy against me. For a second, just a second, panic spurts through me, but then he’s petting me, his finger circling my clit and sending sparks of pleasure shooting through me even as he slides slowly, inexorably, inside of me.

Oh wow. Ohwow. Oh—

It hurts more than I thought it would, but it feels good, too, and I don’t know whether to
squirm away or to push closer. It’s a decision that’s taken out of my hands, though, when Ash smooths his free hand through my hair. He presses soft kisses to my cheeks, to my mouth, murmurs all kinds of nonsense words and sounds that make no sense except that they comfort me. And arouse me all over again. I don’t know how he knows to do the things he does, don’t know why he’s so sweet, so tender, with me. I’m just grateful that he is, grateful that I picked him to be my first.

Eventually, the pain fades and I’m left with an impossible sense of fullness—and a desperate need to move. Ash is so attuned to me, is paying such close attention, that I know he feels the shift. Within seconds, he’s kissing me again, harder, deeper, licking inside my mouth. When my tongue tangles with his and my arms tighten around his neck, he finally starts to move. Slowly, carefully, gently, he rocks against me.

I’ve never felt anything like the pleasure he gives me then, never imagined it was even possible to feel so much. He moves so, so carefully at first, slow, gentle thrusts that slide him in and out of me in a soft, sweet rhythm that helps me relax even as it ratchets up the spiraling tension inside of me.

I clutch at Ash then, my fingers digging into his shoulders, my hips arching up to meet his. He groans, his thrusts getting faster, harder, more powerful, until all I can do is feel. Him above me, around me, inside me.

In those frantic moments, Ash is everywhere. He’s everything. And I love it. I love the way he holds me, love the way he touches me, love even more the way I’m melting into him. The way we’re melting into each other. It’s like nothing I could have imagined, and more than I ever would have asked for.

And then it happens.

The pleasure—unbelievable, indescribable—breaks over me in a rush I’m not expecting and could never have prepared for. I gasp, whimper, nearly scream with the unexpectedness of it. My head falls back and I close my eyes, but Ash growls my name.

“Look at me, Tansy. I want to see.”

I force my eyes open even as the climax rolls over me, find myself drowning in Ash’s cerulean ones. It’s the most intense moment of my life and I can barely breathe, barely think. All I can do is lose myself in him.

“There you are,” he murmurs. “I thought I lost you.”

“Never.” The word comes out before I can stop it, before I even know I am going to say it. It comes from some visceral place deep inside me that wants nothing more than for me to wrap myself around Ash and never let him go.

I expect him to freak out at the permanent sound of the word, but he just grins wickedly, like I’ve somehow made him happy. And then he’s kissing me, slipping his hands under my hips.
Thrusting harder.

I do cry out then, as a whole new wave of pleasure rips through me. Ash’s whole body locks up, his arms tightening around me to the point of near pain and that’s when I feel it. His body jerking inside of mine, pouring into me.

I wrap my legs around him, pull him tighter, hold him closer. And lose myself in the overwhelming, all-encompassing pleasure that is Ash Lewis.

Holy shit. Making love to Tansy damn near killed me.

I’m lying on top of her now, after the most intense orgasm of my life, and I swear I can’t move. I know I should—hell, she’s so tiny that I’m probably crushing her completely. But even knowing that, I can’t bring myself to shift off of her.

It doesn’t help that she’s twined around me like a vine, her arms and legs and body holding mine everywhere and in every way that she can.

Normally, I’d be freaking out right about now, trying to extricate myself from the situation. But it feels so good to lay here, holding Tansy, listening to her heart beat, hearing her breathing even out, that trying to escape seems like way too much effort. Especially since there’s nowhere I’d rather be right now.

The thought makes me nervous, but not enough for me to actually do something about it. After all, I just took Tansy’s virginity. She probably needs to be held. She certainly deserves to be.

But she also deserves to breathe, which is why I—reluctantly—pull out of her.

She makes a wordless protest that warms me deep inside, her hands clutching at me to hold me close. I murmur to her, sweet nothings that don’t mean anything except reassurance, as I tie off the condom and wrap it in a tissue I found on the nightstand. Then I settle next to her in bed again, pulling her right into the crook of my arm, so I can pet her all over.

She feels so good against me, soft and silky and sweet, and there’s a part of me that wants nothing more than to roll her over on top of me and try for round two. But she’s got to be sore—I wasn’t nearly as careful with her as I intended to be—and the last thing I want to do is hurt her.

“Ash?” she asks after several long minutes have passed. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah. You okay?” I drop a kiss on the top of her head.

She laughs, actually laughs. “Are you kidding me? I’m amazing. That was … amazing. Right? I mean, I’m not just imagining it, right? That was really, really—”

“Amazing,” I say before she can. Because she’s right, it was. I don’t know what it means, don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the knowledge—and the feelings welling up inside of me—but I do know that making love to Tansy was as exciting, as
amazing
, as dropping in on the
most dangerous double black diamond trail there is.

“You sweet-talker you,” she says with a grin. And then she’s up on her elbow, leaning over me. Kissing me sweetly. Kissing me senseless.

I groan in protest when she breaks away for air a couple of minutes later, but she just laughs. Then rains small, quick kisses all over my face and chest and shoulders. I probably shouldn’t be as amused as I am, but I can’t help it. A relaxed, happy and well-fucked Tansy is the most endearing thing I’ve ever seen.

“So you’re one of those,” I tell her with a groan, grabbing her and pulling her back down next to me.

“One of what?” she asks me, eyes wide and concerned.

“One of those people who actually
get
energy from sex. You’re practically jumping out of your skin you’re so wound up.”

“Oh, yeah. I kind of am.” She blushes a little. “Is that not normal?”

“Not at all.”

“Oh.” Silence for a second, then, “Do you want me to turn the lights off for you? I can settle down and we can—”

I laugh. “Baby, there is no way you’re settling down anytime soon.” I pull her in for a quick kiss that turns into something much longer and hotter than I intended. “But that’s okay.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. Because I’m the same way.”

Before she can react to my words, I roll her over and tickle her mercilessly. She screams and kicks and fights, but she’s laughing the whole time and it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard. I’m hard again before I even kiss her, but I force myself to back away. Only a total jerk would be trying for round two right now. Especially after seeing the blood smeared on the condom.

“Come on,” I tell her, climbing out of bed and pulling her with me.

“Come on, where? I’m naked, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, believe me, I’ve noticed.” I cup her boob in my hand, tweak her nipple. She gasps, grabs on to my hand with both of hers. And then we’re just standing there, staring into each other’s eyes with big, goofy smiles on our faces.

Alarm bells start going off in the back of my head. Because this doesn’t feel like just sex. It doesn’t even feel like just fun, though it’s definitely fun. It feels like something more. Something intimate and sweet and just a little bit terrifying.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that. Don’t know what I’m supposed to do with
her
. Not when there’s Logan and everything that I have to do for him. I don’t have time for a relationship, even if I did want one. Which I totally don’t. But how am I supposed to tell her that without hurting her?

“Uh-oh,” Tansy says after a long, breathless moment when all we do is stare at each other. “This is going to be a problem, isn’t it?”

My stomach clenches sickly. “What do you mean?”

“You’re falling in love with me. I can see it all over your face.”

“What?” I’m so startled that the word comes out half-gasp, half-laugh.

She drops a kiss on my shoulder, shoots me a quick grin, before walking past me into the bathroom. “Don’t worry about it,” she tells me airily. “It happens to all the guys. I won’t hold it against you.”

Amused despite myself, I follow her into the bathroom. “You won’t, huh? That’s awfully nice of you.”

“What can I say? I’m a nice person.” She glances in the mirror, laughs when she sees the state of her hair. It’s sticking up all over her head. Another girl would have freaked out, started trying to fix the mess. But Tansy just meets my gaze in the mirror, her eyes alight with amusement.

“It’s a good look for you,” I tell her, tugging on one of the short clumps.

“You’re only saying that ’cuz you’re blinded by lust,” she tells me. “Not that I blame you. That was pretty amazing.”

“It was,” I agree. “But—” I need to make sure she understands, need to make sure she’s not building any kind of dreams around what happened here. Because there’s Logan and I—

“Oh, no.” She whirls around, presses two fingers to my mouth in an effort to shut me up. “Don’t beg. It’s so unbecoming.”

I pull her hand away. “I wasn’t going to—”

“Sure you were. They all do.” She winks at me, just to let me know she’s joking. “But I’m just in it for the fun, so you’re going to have to get over all those butterflies in your stomach.”

I laugh then, because I can’t not laugh. She’s adorable, absolutely adorable. And she handled what could have been really awkward—really awful—so charmingly that I can’t help pulling her into my arms and kissing her again. “I think you’ve got your stomach confused with mine.”

She snorts, presses against my abs. “As if. I don’t think there’s any chance of anyone ever mistaking my stomach for your six-pack. But it’s a nice thought.”

I roll my eyes at her, then kiss her again, because why not? And because I’m pretty much pathologically unable to not kiss her right now.

“Hey,” I say when I finally manage to tear my lips from hers. “You want to do something?”

“What, now?”

“Yeah, now. It’s only nine o’clock. We’re not ninety, are we?”

“What about Logan? Don’t you need to get back to him?”

She doesn’t seem upset by that fact, like a lot of girls would be. Instead, all I see on her face is concern for my brother—which shouldn’t be a surprise, really. Tansy is one of the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. Still, it warms me a little. Makes me feel a little lighter inside.

“He’s with Z and Luc. I’ll check on him, but he should be fine. Besides, we don’t have to be gone long.”

“Gone?” she asks. “We’re actually leaving the resort?”

“Not the resort, just the building.” I guide her out of the bathroom and over to the balcony. “There’s a whole big resort out there that we’ve barely begun to explore.”

“Oh, right. A walk! That sounds like fun.” The fact that she actually believes that makes her all the more endearing.

“I was thinking of something a little more exciting, but—”

“I am not having sex with you in the snow, Ash Lewis.” She gives me her sternest look, which really isn’t very stern but is adorable. “Frostbite on my ass
so
does not sound like something I want to explain to anyone.”

“Get dressed in something warm.” I drop a kiss on her nose. “I promise there will be no frostbite on any delicate parts of your anatomy.”

She eyes me suspiciously. “How about, no frostbite on
any
part of my anatomy at all?”

“Yeah, I suppose we could go for that. If you insist.”

“I do. I really, really do.”

“Sledding?” Tansy asks as she stares at what I just rented. “You want to go sledding?”

“You don’t like sledding?” I ask her incredulously. “Everyone likes sledding.”

“I don’t know if I like it or not,” she says after a minute. “I’ve never been.”

I stare at her in shock. “You live in Salt Lake City. How could you have never been sledding?”

“I didn’t always live in Salt Lake. I was born in San Diego where there isn’t exactly a lot of snow. By the time we moved to Utah, I was a little old for a sled.”

I snort. “You’re never too old for a sled.”

She eyes me, and the sled, with extreme misgiving. “I’m not so sure about that.”