Shattered Edge (3 page)

CHAPTER FOUR

Justin

Terri was going to kill me. I knew she was, but I didn’t care. I had to do this. I left the reception as soon as Pearce and Lexi headed out the door. I picked up the phone and called her. I couldn’t stand it. I had to hear her voice, but I also needed to tell her how I felt. When she agreed to talk to me in the morning, I waited all of one second before my decision was made. I went straight to Pearce’s house and found Lexi’s keys hanging on the rack where they kept all their other keys. I searched until I found what I was hunting and left before I lost my nerve.

The trip over the connector to James Island only took about ten minutes. I was parked in front of her house before I could second guess my actions. It was eleven o’clock and all the lights were out. I didn’t want to scare her, yet I knew she wouldn’t let me in if I knocked on her door. Sitting there like a peeping tom, I just watched her house, trying to figure out the right thing to do. My hand grabbed the door handle, my mind was made up. It took all of twelve long strides before I reached her front door. Sliding the key into the lock, I turned it gently and opened the door. I slipped off my jacket and tie and draped them across the arm of her sofa.

My heart was pumping so loud I felt like I was at Churchill Downs on Derby Day, and not as a spectator. The gates were getting ready to open and I was chomping at the bit. She had two choices: she could talk or throw me out. There were no other options. But I wasn’t leaving until she did one or the other.

There was no getting around the fact that I was on the verge of scaring the piss out of her and I hated that. That is what was bothering the hell out of me right now too. But I would calm her down as fast as I possibly could. I relocked the door, took off my shoes and headed toward what I hoped was her bedroom.

The door was partially opened and I could see the outline of her body under the covers. I went to the empty side of the bed and lay down. Turning onto my side, I reached over and put my arm on top of her.

She bolted up into a sitting position and started yelling.

“Sshh, it’s me, Justin,” I said as I sat up and tried to assure her she was safe.

“No it’s not.”

She swung her fist and hooked me in the jaw. Damn, that hurt too.

“Terri, it’s me. Stop it, please.”

“Don’t lie. Who are you?”

“Turn on your light. I won’t hurt you.”

She turned on the light and saw it was me.

“Holy hell Justin. What the fuck are you doing? You scared the crap out of me. Have you ever heard of knocking? Or maybe calling first? What the hell?”

I couldn’t tear my eyes off of her chest. She was naked. And panting. And so goddamn beautiful I couldn’t speak. Her hair was mussed up like she just been thoroughly made love to and her face was scrubbed free of makeup...well except for her eyes and they looked sort of strange and furry. But they were shooting blue sparks and that mouth of hers...God, is all I could think of was how I wanted to taste it.

“What are you doing here?”

“Er...” well now that she asked the question, I didn’t have a solid answer for her.

“Justin, I’m waiting.”

“Yeah. Right.” I finally yanked my eyes away from her for a second and then looked back. “I had to see you. I couldn’t wait until the morning.”

Her mouth opened and closed, like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. And then I did what I swore I wouldn’t. I took her into my arms and kissed her. I couldn’t help myself. She was sitting there, naked, and perfect and she smelled so effin’ good. And I had wanted to do that for so damn long. My next shock came when she started kissing me back. And making those sweet tiny sounds, like a little kitten would make. My pants were getting way too tight and I needed to adjust myself, but I didn’t give a rat’s ass. I would go through a month of torture just to hold her like this. God, her skin was so soft and smooth it reminded me of satin.

My hands wound their way into her hair and somehow she ended up in my lap. I didn’t touch her anywhere but her hair and then her back. I wanted this to be right. Perfect actually. I had wanted this for so long that the thought of ruining it in any way frightened the hell out of me.

I broke off the kiss because I didn’t want to overwhelm her, but not because I wanted to.

“I’m so sorry I frightened you. But Terri, I had to see you tonight.”

“Why?” she asked, her voice breathless and sexy as all hell.

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you and about us. About how we never got the chance to see if we can work. I’ve not been able to get you out of my head. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. I don’t even have the slightest interest in trying to date someone else. I’ve not been with anyone since...well, you know when.
  I know I really screwed things up. I’ll always feel responsible for what happened to you. It’s the way I’m programmed Terri. End of story. There are so many things I wish I could go back and change. But I can’t. So the only thing I know to do is apologize, beg for forgiveness and move forward. That’s what I’m here for. I would like to beg you to forgive me for how I handled things. I was stupid in the way I tried to protect you. It was wrong. I guess I don’t handle adversity very well. But I’m not trying to excuse my behavior either.”

“Damn it Justin! I’m so torn over everything. First it was those two whores and then tonight you tell me that
crap about my leg. My mind is so messed up about you right now.”

“I know and I’m so sorry I’m such a shit. And I keep digging a deeper hole for myself. I don’t know why I do things like that. Not telling you about the severity of your leg was wrong on so many levels. It was a violation of medical ethics...you were right. I don’t know why I thought it was for your protection. Robert and Jackson wanted to kill me over all of this.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t.”

“And then the drinking. When I started that and the ranting and raving about you. They thought I’d lost my mind. And in many respects I did.”

When I came here tonight, I decided to bare my soul and not hold anything back from her. My gut was free falling to my feet, but I didn’t stop.

“Terri, there were times when I thought I was losing it. Those two women that I hooked up with was when I hit bottom. I talked to Phil about it because I felt like I’d been falling down this tunnel and I couldn’t find anything to grab onto to stop the descent. He told me that sometimes you have to hit bottom before you can climb back up. Terri, you know that day I got caught? I knew Lexi was coming over. I didn’t lock the door on purpose. Do you get what I’m saying here? I
wanted
to get caught. I think deep down I knew that was the only way I’d get help.  I know that was probably the worst thing in the world to do to her, but I was so fucked up at the time, I knew she would come to my rescue and get me the help I needed. I trusted her.

  I’m sorry I’m unloading all this on you, but I thought it only fair you should know. I understand that there isn’t a valid reason on Earth that you should trust me, and I’m not asking that of you. What I am asking is that you give me a chance to prove myself to you...to start again, not from the beginning because I know you can’t erase what’s been done to you, but to move forward anyway. I’m asking you...no, I’m begging you to let me show you that I can be a decent human being. I’ll earn your trust and I’ll do the things you need that will show you I’m someone you can depend on.”

I shut my mouth then and waited. I’d dumped way too much on her anyway, so I put the ball in her court and if she threw me out, I would have to move to plan B.

“Well, I have to tell you I’m a bit surprised by all of this.” She didn’t have to tell me that. Her eyes were pinging all over the place...first they settled on me, then on her hands, then back on me, then on the wall. They looked like a pinball machine ready to short circuit.

She finally covered her face with her hands and groaned. “I’m very attracted to you Justin. I think you’d have to be blind not to have noticed. And I’ve always felt that there was something between us. I’m probably making the biggest mistake of my life here, but maybe we could try to work things out. I know there are things we need to overcome and I’m gonna have to figure out a way to forgive you and move on. I’ll try to do that. But I can’t promise it’ll be easy.”

A tiny spark lit in my heart. I felt it. I dared not get too excited yet, because at this point, it wouldn’t take much to extinguish it. “I didn’t say it would be easy. I just want us to at least try. I’d hate to think we walked away from each other without even doing that.”

Suddenly, she jerked her head toward me and those piercing azure blue eyes hit mine and she asked, “Shall we do a trial period?”

“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.

She blinked and rubbed her eyes for a minute. “This stupid waterproof mascara they gave us for the wedding is irritating the crap out of my eyes. I can’t get it off.”

“I was wondering why your eyes looked so...um, furry.”

“Gee thanks.” She rolled her eyes at me. “But getting back to us. I think we should try to resolve our issues...do a trial run within the next six months. If we’re not getting along or if things between us seem insurmountable, then we go our separate ways.”

I ran that through my mind. Six months. I would have to win her over, one hundred percent, by then. And right now, I had this hot naked woman sitting on my lap that was the cause of an erection the size of the Empire State building and there wasn’t a damn thing I was going to do about it.

“Agreed.”

She nailed me with those azure eyes again and stated, “I refuse to be your friend with benefits Justin.”

That actually pissed me off. Now I didn’t just have a stiffy that she was sitting on, my entire body had turned into rebar right along with my dick.

“Terri, I have to say I resent that remark. Have I ever given you any indication that was my intention?”

“No, but...”

I wouldn’t let her finish. “I know that I have behaved like an ‘unmitigated and comprehensive ass’ to quote Mr. Bingley. But I’d like to think that where matters of sex are concerned, I have behaved like a gentleman. I have never tried to take advantage of you in any way.”

She was smiling now so I stopped speaking. “Mr. Bingley from
Pride and Prejudice
, huh? I didn’t know you were a fan.” She had a cute little smirk on her face.

“Terri, there are quite a few things you don’t know about me. Like right now for instance, I have an enormous hard on because of you and it’s quite uncomfortable, by the way. But, I’m willing to sit here and chat with you, while you’re naked and sitting in my lap, and by far the loveliest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon.”

Her eyes widened, then almost popped right out of her head as I heard her breath whistle when she drew it in between her teeth. She moved to cover her breasts with her hands but I stopped her.

“Oh no you don’t.” I grabbed both of her wrists in one hand and gently drew them behind her back. “I won’t let you deprive me of this glorious sight. And by God you are gorgeous.” I stared at her as I bent my head toward her mouth. I was expecting her to back away or to say something but she didn’t. She waited a second and then started kissing me back and making those fucking sexy noises again that had my pants seams bursting.

I lay back and brought her down with me. When I released her hands, she was unbuttoning my shirt and pulling it off of me as fast as she could. She moved to unbutton my pants next but I put my hands on top of hers. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

She looked at me hard and said, “I’m not sure.”

Smiling, I said, “Then that’s your answer. None of this until you give me a definite and unequivocal yes. Okay?”

She smiled back and agreed. I could tell this was going to be a long night. Her hands were on my abs and chest and when she bent her head to kiss me there, I groaned. Shit, I was glad my pants were on. I hope I didn’t end up like some thirteen year old. Or maybe I just needed to go take a cold shower now to calm things down a bit.

“Honey, you’re gonna have to slow down for me.” She looked at me and grinned.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure. Or I’ll end up embarrassing myself.”

I pulled her up next to me so I could kiss her lovely mouth again.

“Thanks for only punching me once.”

She laughed. “I guess you’re lucky I didn’t hit you with this.”

She reached under her pillow and pulled out a small canister of pepper spray.

“Hell yeah, I’m glad.
That would’ve really hurt.”

“Um, Justin. You should be glad I don’t have a gun.”

“You’re right. I didn’t even think of that.”

“Will you spend the night?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yeah, I do. Honestly, I’ve seen your face every night since last spring.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked in confusion.

Then she told me how she always saw my face right before she went to sleep. I kissed her and got out of the bed. I had to go to the bathroom to take care of some business and when I got back to the bed, she was dozing. I took off my pants and slipped in next to her and pulled her against me.