Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (38 page)

“Alex…” 
Nothing. “Alex, look at me.”  Nothing but a growl.  “Damn you, look at me.”  It
takes another few seconds, but when he finally breaks eye contact with Oliver
and looks down at me, his scowl softens.  “Can you please take the bags into my
apartment and give me a minute to talk to Oliver?”

Irritated with
my request, Alex grits his teeth.  “I’m not leaving you out here with him.”

“He won’t hurt
me.  We’re just going to talk, okay?” 

“Five minutes.” 
I nod and hand him my keys.  “Seriously, Elyssa, if you aren’t inside in five
minutes I’m coming back out here.  I don’t care what
Oliver
has to
say.”  I nod and Alex turns to pick up the luggage before walking to the door
of my apartment.  He turns and glares in Oliver’s direction.  “Keep your hands
off
my
girl.”  With a huff he goes inside, slamming the door with such
vigor that I flinch.

“He’s a fucking
Neanderthal.  That’s what you want?  You Elyssa…me Alex.”  Oliver starts to
pound his fists against his chest.

“Stop!  I didn’t
ask him to leave so you could make fun of him.  He’s not like that.”

“Yah, whatever. 
So what do you have to say?”

I approach him,
trying to keep my voice calm as our eyes meet.  Now that Alex is gone I can see
the real hurt in his eyes.  I know I did that.  I never meant to lead him on,
but I know I have.  I say the only thing I can, “I’m sorry, Oliver.”

“For what?  That
you fell for an egotistical asshole who
will
cheat on you.  He’s going
to fuck up.  You know I’m right, Elyssa.  He’s going to make you sorry you ever
wasted your breath on him.” 

Ignoring his
jabs, I continue on with my apology.  “You’re my friend and I’m sorry that I
hurt you.  I never meant to lead you on or give you false hope.  I used you
when I needed comfort without thinking of how it would affect you.  And even
though I knew you cared for me, I also knew that I’d never get over him.  He’s
my forever, Oliver.”  And that’s the truth.

“God, damn it!” 
Oliver’s voice echoes throughout my courtyard.  In anger, he kicks nearby rocks
out into the parking lot.  “No, no I refuse to accept this.  This isn’t how it
was meant to be.  Listen to me.”  Oliver rushes over, taking my hands in his. 
He’s so close I can feel his breath.  “Remember when we first met?  Remember
when I told you that you were my kryptonite?”  I nod my head, staring at his
face riddled with desperation. 

“You fucking
weaken me.  You make everything that happened before seem like a distant
memory.  Fuck Elyssa, I want you so badly.  It’s fucking killing me that you
continue to pick
him
.”  Oliver grips my hands, I silently sob not
wanting to hear this, but knowing he needs to get it off his chest.  It doesn’t
change anything.  It never will.  “I’m going to San Diego this weekend.  Give
me a chance.  No, give us a chance and come with me.  Get away from here, away
from him.  Just give me a chance to show you how life could be if he wasn’t
around to cloud your mind.”

My cheeks are
damp with tears.  Oliver reaches up with one of his hands and caresses my face,
wiping away each tear that descends.  I hate that I’m hurting him, but I need
to be honest.  “I love him, Oliver.  I don’t know what else to say.” 

“Say you’ll
think about it.”  It’s been said that a desperate man is a man to fear because
there is nothing he wouldn’t do.  As I search Oliver’s face, I see nothing but need
expressed in those emerald eyes.  He’s normally so lighthearted and carefree. 
And those loveable traits I’ve clung to for the past few weeks have completely
diminished.  I’ve done that to him and guilt is an ugly emotion.

“Your five
minutes are up.”  I turn to find Alex leaning against my door, arms folded
across his chest.

“Just think
about it.”  Oliver lets go, but not before scowling in Alex’s direction before
he heads to his car.  The screech of tires echoes throughout the parking lot
when I turn to Alex.  Somberly, I walk to him.  I clench my eyes shut and reach
out, expecting to meet his ire.  Instead, he wraps his arms around me and pulls
me close; breathing me in as he nestles against my neck.

His arms tighten
around me.  “You alright?”  I bury my face in his chest and nod, mirroring his
actions by breathing him in.  The scent of musk and citrus is home, giving me a
sense of comfort.  “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

The moment my
feet touch my carpet Rachel wraps her arms around me, leading me to the couch. 
Can this night end already?  I forgot she asked for sanctuary from her
relationship and stayed the weekend at my apartment.  Is she really not over
her fight with Bryan? 

“What the hell! 
Are you okay?”  I nod and sit next to her on the couch.  Shortly after, Alex
brings over a bottle of water and sits across from us in the recliner.

“I thought you’d
be back home by now.”  Rachel sits back, bringing her knees up to rest her chin
against them.  She looks young in her flannel pajama pants and tank top, with
her hair braided into two pigtails that fall across her chest on both sides. 
Now that I’ve gotten a chance to focus on anyone besides myself, I look at her
and can tell she’s been crying.  She slowly shakes her head, looking sadder
than I’ve ever seen her.

“Have you talked
to Bryan?”  She looks at Alex, hesitating about saying anything in from of him.

Alex looks
between the two of us before asking, “Do you need me to leave?”

I shake my head,
standing to walk to him.  Rachel looks at me with confusion when I curl into a
ball in his lap, resting my head against his shoulder.

“Rach, Bryan was
right.  I was being awful and I hurt Alex.  I never meant to cause so many
problems.  I love you for sticking up for me, but please call him.  I’m sure he’s
hurting just as bad as you are.”

Rachel shakes
her head in defiance.  “I said awful things to him.”

Alex butts in,
“He was pretty torn up when he called me.  People sometimes do and say awful
things to those they love.  I’m sure he’s over it and wants you to come home.” 
I look up at him and kiss his jaw before nestling back against his shoulder
waiting for my sister to make a decision.

Rachel nods and
heads to my bedroom without another word.  I lift my head placing a kiss on
Alex’s dimpled cheek.  Minutes later Rachel exits my bedroom carrying a duffle
bag, and an extra large grin on her face. 

I stand and give
her a hug.  She whispers in my ear, “Did you tell him about the baby?”  I nod. 
She releases me and rushes to Alex bringing him in for his own embrace.

“I’m glad you
guys worked things out.”  Alex smiles down at her.  “You sure are gonna make a
good Daddy.”  She squeals, hugging him a second time.  “I’m going to have the
cutest niece or nephew ever.”

Alex gives me a
knowing look as we see Rachel out.  The instant the door closed, “So Rachel
knew?”  I nod.  “For how long?”

“The day after
Thanksgiving.  She went to my first appointment with me.”  I walk into the
kitchen and look through my purse.  It only takes me a second to find what I’m
looking for and take it to Alex.  It’s time he meets his LJ.

He stares at my
hand for an absurdly long amount of time, before reaching out.  Holding our
baby’s first picture I can see tears pooling in his eyes, threatening to spill
over.

“This is our
baby?”  I nod.  “I can’t believe I missed this.”  I walk to him, wrapping my
arms around his waist.

He grabs my
chin, forcing me to look at him.  “Promise me that I won’t miss anything else.”

Alex lifts me
when I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing his mouth down to mine.  “I
promise, Alex.  No more fighting this.”

Alex sets me on
the counter and lifts my shirt, startling me a little.  “If it’s okay with you,
LJ and I need to have a little conversation.”  I nod, just barely holding back
my emotions.  “LJ, you need to tell your Mom that I’m not going anywhere.  She
can’t push me away no more ‘cause we’re like two peas in a pod.  So, help me
out and talk to your Mom for me, ‘kay?” 

After the sweet
moment, Alex runs his fingers along my belly.  Even though the baby’s too small
to feel any movements, he probably doesn’t realize that and I won’t tell him. 
Not only because I’m selfish, but because we both deserve to cherish these
moments.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Some compare
being in love to the sensation of flying.  I’m deathly afraid of flying, even
though the past few months are starting to prove otherwise, but it’s still the
same.  Being in love is just like flying for me.  Anxious, on the edge, and yet
somehow walking that fine line between safety and jeopardy.  I have a feeling
today is going to either make or break the life Alex and I are trying to
build. 

Alex left me
early this morning to head home and grab a change of clothes, but not before
leaving me with something to remember him by.  Our morning shower consisted of
soft kisses along every inch of my body as he lathered me from head to toe,
spending quality time on my belly, saying his own good morning to LJ.

After our
intimate morning I should feel like Jell-O.  Instead, as I walk towards the
elevators at work, I’m wound up viciously tight.  Last night we discussed our
plans.  The first step was that Alex would transfer to another division of
SHI.  He said he was already aware that the self-funded sector of the company
is in need of new management.  Even though it would mean a demotion, he would
take the hit knowing it would be a step in the right direction.  The second
step in our plan is to break my lease and move in with him as soon as humanly
possible.

Hence the
nerves.  I haven’t seen or spoken to Arianna and I know once she gets wind of
his plans she’ll be on a war path.   Stepping foot on campus, my rather large
spoonful of optimism has slowly melted away.  With the world on my shoulders,
it’s no surprise I didn’t notice my traveling companion as I step inside the
elevator.

I should have
known I wouldn’t get too far.

With surprising
force, my face twists to the side with the momentum of a clawed hand.  I’m
utterly shocked and have no time to recover from the assault, when I’m forced
back into the wall, shoulders pinned at my side.  Pale arms, tipped with shiny
red talons grip my shoulders, causing me to wince as her nails dig into my
skin.  Arianna’s stare is menacing.  I’m not going to lie…she’s scaring me a
little.  She takes her time and reaches over and pushes a button, instantly
halting the elevator from ascending to our given floor.

“Have a nice
trip?”  Her voice is eerily calm, sending goose bumps up my arms.  I can see
her psyche crumbling before me as she twists her head, cracking her neck in the
process.  You know how you can tell if someone has one too many screws loose? 
It’s in their eyes.  The way she tilts her head surveying me, eyeing me until
she sees me squirm.  It’s unnatural and it’s frustrating.  The silence thickens
around us.

I try to push
against her, but she is abnormally strong.  Must be the cup of crazy she
decided to drink this morning.  I wriggle against her strength.  “Get the fuck
off me.” 

“Since when
don’t you like it rough?”  Arianna pulls at my hair, the pain stinging my scalp
with each tug.  “Alex doesn’t know soft and sweet.  There have been many times
he’s left marks all over me.”

“Shut up!” I
scream, trying to drown out the sound of her vile words. 

“You realize
there’s no part of his body that I haven’t touched, licked, sucked.  I own
him,” she sneers, her breath against my cheek.  I cringe.  “We’ve been in his
bed, on his couch, in his kitchen.  There’s no place that’s just yours.”

I finally get
out of her hold, my chest heaving, I glare at her.  I rush to the control
panel, but Arianna is a second faster and blocks my way.  “What do you want,
Arianna?”

“We’ve already
gone over this, but you didn’t listen.  I told you, you don’t want to fuck with
me.”  Her nails tap against the elevator walls, still blocking my way. 

“It’s done. 
We’re done playing these games with you.  I love him!  I’m not giving him up. 
I’ve tried and I can’t do it,” I cry out.

“I never
realized what a glutton for punishment you are.  I gave you the perfect life,
handed it to you on a fucking silver platter and this is how you show your
appreciation?  By continuing to play with what’s mine.  By ignoring the
incredible opportunities I’ve given you.  Oliver’s just as good in bed.  He’s
not as experienced, but he still knows what he’s doing.”  My stomach lurches. 
I don’t know why anything she does surprises me anymore. 
God, is there
anybody she hasn’t slept with!

“You know some
of the best sex I’ve ever had with Alex was after I told him I’d been with
Oliver.  He’s quite…competitive.  I figured he would be the perfect pawn to use
in this little cat and mouse game we have going.  I figured once he knew Oliver
had you, it would drive him to explore other avenues to forget about you.”

“I guess you
don’t know him as well as you thought you did.”  And thank God, she doesn’t
know my relationship with Oliver never surpassed a sweet kiss and comforting
embrace.