Shattered (Shattered #1) (18 page)

 
Chapter 18

Leah

As we finished our dinner,
Nick paid our bill, and ushered me back out to his truck. I wasn’t sure what
else he had planned for the evening, but it was still fairly early. The guilt
that I was feeling over the way I acted at dinner was sitting heavy on my
shoulders. I wasn’t sure how, but I wanted to try to save the evening.

“Um Nick?” I glanced at him
as he climbed into the truck.

“What?”

“Avery’s going out with
Logan tonight. Some kinda trial date, I’m not exactly sure, but she said she
wasn’t coming home. You wanna stay over tonight?” I bit my lower lip, and
waited to see what he was going to say.

“That’s up to you,” he
shrugged. “You seem like you don’t want to be around me right now.”

“I do…I really do. I don’t
know what’s wrong with me,” I sighed. “I guess I’m just trying to feel my way
around this. I mean…we’re both so different now, and it’s like we’re stuck in
the past.”

He nodded, and started the
truck, “I’ve got somewhere else we can go first, that is if you’re willing.”

“Ok.”

ooooooooo

As the truck ambled along
the country roads, I really didn’t pay attention. I guess if I had been, I
wouldn’t be surprised where we ended up. When Nick cut the engine, I glanced
up, and out the windshield. I grinned at him, “So the old Nick still is in
there somewhere, eh?”

Nick chuckled, “I haven’t
changed that much, and this is our place.”

“We haven’t been back here
since I first got back to town. I didn’t think you’d want to,” I shrugged as I
unbuckled my seat belt.

“Yeah well, you seemed like
you needed this tonight,” he turned in the seat to face me. “I haven’t changed
that much Leah, but I have grown up. I’m not the kid I once was, and I’m trying
to make my life better. I want a future for us. I want to be able to provide you
with the life you deserve.”

“You love me Nick, that’s
all I need right now,” I leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“You sound like the dreamer
I used to be. I always told myself that love would be enough. That if I loved
you with everything I had, that you’d choose me,” he shook his head as a
sadness settled over us. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No…I get it. I really do,”
I slowly slid across the bench seat of the truck, and leaned my head on his
shoulder. “Back then, I don’t think I realized what I had until I lost it. I
mean…I always thought you’d just leave with me. I never thought about the
possibility of you saying no. I was unrealistic.”

“We were kids. Things
change,” he mumbled as he wrapped his arm around me.

“Yeah…I’m just glad we’re
past that. I mean…I don’t know what I’d do if I had to make that decision
again,” I sighed as I nuzzled into his shoulder.

Nick stiffened, “What do you
mean?”

“Well, my dad’s all alone
now. He doesn’t have anybody but me to help him,” I shifted so I could look up
into his eyes. “If I was given the chance again…to leave…I don’t think I could
do it. There’s too many reasons to stay now.”

“I think we should go now,”
Nick removed his arm from around my shoulders, and moved to crank the truck up.

“Ok,” I wrinkled my brow at
him.
 
Something was bothering him, and it
was driving me nuts that he wouldn’t tell me.

ooooooooo

When we got back to my
place, Nick walked me to the door, and waited on the porch. He kept looking
around, as if he was waiting for me to say something. He shifted nervously from
side-to-side, and clasped his hands together. Once I got the door unlocked, I
opened it, and began to step inside. Nick didn’t follow me, but reached out to
grasp my arm halting me.

“I think I’m going to go
home tonight,” he murmured,

I spun, and let my mouth
fall open, “What? Is this about what I was saying at the restaurant? You think
I don’t want to be with this version of you?”

Nick’s eyes flashed open,
“No…this is about something else.”

“What?” I stepped closer to
him and placed my hands on his chest.

“I can’t tell you right
now,” he stepped back so my hands fell limp by my sides.

“No Nick…we’re not doing
this. Whatever this is…tell me,” I shook my head and advanced forward. “Don’t
hide stuff from me.”

He shook his head, and ran
his hands down his face. Whatever it was…it was bad. He never acted like this.
After taking several deep breaths, he lifted his head, and our eyes connected.

“I’m leaving in three
weeks,” he stated resolutely. “I got a job offer, and I took it. I’m moving…to
Wilmington,” he nodded as he watched me waiting for my reaction.

“You’re what?” I gasped as I
felt my throat tightening. This could not be happening. We were finally getting
somewhere, and now he was just going to up and leave. “I can’t believe you’re
doing this!’ I screamed. “You didn’t even ask me! How long have you know about
this?” I couldn’t stop. I stumbled backward toward the front door all the while
shaking my head at him.

He tried to reach for me,
but I put my hands up in a defensive stance. This is what he’d been
contemplating all night. I’d seen it in his eyes. How the hell had I missed it?
The way he talked about changing, wanting to be better, to be able to provide.
How had I let this happen and not seen it coming?

“What about me?” I sobbed as
I sunk down on the porch. I knew I should go inside, but I couldn’t seem to
move at the moment.

“I…I was hoping you’d come
with me,” Nick lifted his arms to the side.

 
“I can’t leave Nick, you know that. I can’t
leave my dad…he needs me,” I glared up him. “You did this,” I pointed at him as
my hurt morphed into anger. “You knew I wasn’t going to be able to leave, and
yet you said yes without even asking me.” I pushed to a standing position, and
opened the front door. “Get out!” I pointed away. “I don’t want you here!” I
stepped through the open door, and slammed it in his face as he tried to follow
me.

I could hear his footsteps
as they marched down the front steps, and headed back in the direction of his
truck. As the engine started, I slid down the inside of the door, and finally
released the sobs I’d fought so hard to control. My display on the porch was
nothing compared to the heart wrenching display I had going on now. I felt so
stupid to think that things had changed…that Nick would choose me. I was an
idiot…he didn’t want a future with me, if he did…he would have told whoever
offered him this job, no.

ooooooooo

Nick

Well that went well, I shook
my head as I pounded on the steering wheel. I can’t believe that she could be
so pig headed. I mean seriously, I’m trying to make a better life for us. How
can she just cut me off like that? I should have known that taking this job was
going to be the end of us. Five years ago when the universe split us apart had
to be a sign. We were not meant to be together, not meant to go the distance.

As I drove through town, my
truck seemed to know where I wanted to go. I didn’t even realize where I was
headed until I turned into the parking lot. Dave’s was my old hangout. They had
cheap beer, and willing women. I huffed out a breath, as I opened my door, and
made the trek into the bar.

It wasn’t very busy tonight
being a Wednesday. Usually the weekends were their busy days, but I didn’t
care. I trudged over to the bar, and climbed up on a stool. “Whiskey, neat,” I sighed
as the bartender approached me.

“Rough night?” a voice I
didn’t want to hear giggled beside me.

“You could say that…what do
you want Becca?” I growled without looking at her.

“Easy tiger. I just figured
I’d keep you company. You seem like you need it,” she leaned in next to me
pressing her ample breasts into my arm that was resting on the bar.

“Sure…whatever,” I grabbed
the tumbler that was now in front of me, and tossed back the amber liquid. When
I placed it back on the bar, I flicked it with my fingers sending it in the
direction of the bartender, “Another.”

After what seemed like
hours, and who knows how many shots, I had managed to numb myself. I began to
forget the anger that Leah had been spewing, and honestly had reached a point
that I didn’t care anymore. Maybe the fact that Becca was now on my lap kissing
my neck, and pressing her breasts into my chest had something to do with it.

“Let’s get outta her,” she
whispered into ear as she trailed her hand down my chest. When she reached my
belt, she kept moving south until she palmed my hard on through my pants. “I
can take care of this. You know it would feel so good. Remember how great we
were together?” She ground her hips into me. I guess if I hadn’t been blitzed
out of my mind, I might have been embarrassed, we were in bar with other
patrons.

“You read my mind,” I
groaned as I reached for my wallet, and tossed a few bills on the bar. Becca
climbed off me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out the door after her.

When we got into the parking
lot, she led us over to her Volvo. “I’ll drive,” she giggled as she unlocked
the doors.

As we climbed in, she
glanced over at me, “So…does Leah know you were here tonight?”

I sighed as I looked over at
her in my drunken haze, “Leah who?”

She giggled as she reached
over and squeezed my dick through my pants, “Your place or mine?”

“Mine’s closer,” I mumbled
as I pulled my seatbelt across my lap, and we turned on to the road.

I knew what I was doing was
wrong, I just didn’t care at the moment. I had tried…I really did. I wanted
things to work with Leah, but she didn’t seem to see how great this job was.
Becca was there, and she was willing to give me the send-off I wanted. Was I
going to regret this? Probably. The alcohol in my system, along with Becca was
going to help ease my pain. Becca was a sure thing, and I knew what to expect
from her. She’d give me what I wanted with no attachment. She’d take away the
pain, and leave. I wouldn’t have to worry about a future with her because she
didn’t want one.

Chapter 19

Nick

As I slowly began to rouse from sleep, I felt her. A warm body was
pressed up against my side. My addled brain fought to remember the night
before, and as soon as it all started coming back, my eyes flew open. Sure
enough, blonde hair was splayed out on the pillow beside me along with a body
that did not belong to my girlfriend. I blinked, and tried to clear the vision
in front of me. This was not happening. What had I done?

Becca groaned and slid closer as she burrowed further into the sheets. I
glanced around the room, and notice our clothes tossed everywhere. The wild
night slowly came into focus. We had come back here, and gone at each other
like wild animals. I couldn’t remember how many times we’d actually had sex
before I passed out.

Becca lifted her head, and smiled, “Morning.”

“Get out,” I snapped. “You weren’t supposed to be here when I woke up.”

“Gees Nicky, what crawled up your ass this morning?”

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” I groaned as I rolled away
from her.

Becca huffed as she pulled herself from the sheets, and began dressing.
“Call me later if you want another night. I can make you forget all about HER
if you give me the chance.”

“Get out!” I growled as I grabbed a shoe and threw it in her direction.

“You’re an asshole! You know that?” she shrieked as she stomped out of
the room, and slammed the door.

“Yeah…I’m a real winner,” I grumbled as I pulled the pillow over my
head.

ooooooooo

Leah

When I heard the front door open and close almost soundlessly, I knew
Avery was home. I waited to see if she would stop by my room, but knowing
her…she probably assumed that Nick was in here.

Just that thought had me crying again. I had spent most of the night
bawling my eyes out as I replayed our evening. Nick had been so sketchy most of
the night with his ramblings about the future. Did I want a future with him? I
did, but I couldn’t leave my dad. He was counting on me to help him in the
shop. He hadn’t hired a new manager since mom had stopped working for him. I
had been filling in. If I left, there’d be no one there.

Tears began to trickle down my cheeks once again leaving wet streaks. My
eyes hurt they were so red and puffy. I think I’d maybe slept for ten minutes
last night, if I was lucky. I was so lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t hear my
door creak open.

“Holy shit! What’s wrong?” Avery darted into my room, and knelt down
beside me on the bed.

I shook my head, still unable to put what happened the night before into
words.

“Nick did this…didn’t he?” she growled as she reached over me to wrap
her arms around my shoulders.

I pulled back slightly. She smelled like Logan. His woodsy scent
permeated her hair. “You smell like him,” I crinkled my nose.