Shattered (Shattered #1) (4 page)

I shook my head trying to clear it. I was up here to see my mom.
Wallowing in self-pity was not on the agenda tonight. I took a deep breath and
glanced around the room one last time before stepping out into the hall and
pulling to the door closed.

ooooooooo

As I stood in the doorway of my parent’s room, I watched my mother
sleep. She looked so peaceful and relaxed, not like someone who was battling
for her life. I crept in, and sat on the edge of the bed, just waiting. I
didn’t want to wake her, but I was desperate to hear her voice.

My mom had been battling breast cancer for the past four months. To look
at her, you’d never know. Her skin was still pink and full of life. She’d yet
to lose all her hair. It was thinner, but with the way she styled it you’d
never know. When I first had found out about her being sick, I’d just undergone
my third surgery on my ankle. I was still in rehab and unable to come home. Now
sitting here, watching her sleep, I don’t know how I stayed away.

As I shifted on the bed, I leaned over and placed a light kiss to her
forehead as I whispered to her, “I love you Momma.”

She stirred slightly and rolled to her back as she blinked up at me,
“Leah? Is it really you?”

“Yes Momma, it’s really me,” I smiled weakly. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’ve been better,” she cracked a half smile at me.

I shifted once again as she slid her body up to rest it against the
headboard. She smiled brighter as she scanned me and reached out to touch my
arm. It was as if she thought I might disappear, like I wasn’t real.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come home,” I sighed as I knotted my
fingers in my lap.

“It’s ok sweetie. I know you’ve had your own problems. Have you seen
Nick yet?” she gave me a mischievous grin.

“I don’t want to talk about him right now,” I shook my head. “Nick is a
whole other problem. I want to know about you.”

“Well….” She sighed. “Things are looking better. The doctor says that
the treatments are working. With this round of chemo I have a good chance of
going into remission.”

“That’s great Mom,” I smiled as I thought about how much I prayed over
the last four months that she would make it through this.

“Yeah, it is,” she smiled. “I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve missed you so
much, and despite what you think…so have a lot of other people around here.”

I knew by other people who she was hinting at. My mom was not known for
being subtle. She always seemed to know what I was thinking, and knew exactly
what to say to get her point across.

“Well…” I turned and offered her the best smile I had at the moment “I’ll
let you get some rest. Dad’s fixing supper, and I’m sure he’s ready by now.” I
moved to stand before wrapping my arms tightly around the one person who seemed
to know me the best. “I’ll stop by next weekend, ok?”

“Alright sweetie. I love you,” she smiled as she slid back down on the
bed and shifted to get more comfortable.

“I love you too, Mom,” I moved over to the door and exited the room
quietly as I made my way downstairs.

ooooooooo

After finishing dinner with my Dad, we talked for a little while. When I
glanced up at the wall clock, and saw how late it was, I decided I better head
out. Avery was wanting some girl time tonight, and I was going to start my new
job at the high school tomorrow. I needed sleep, and I was stressed from the
day’s events. My dad claimed that he understood, but I could tell by his face
that he wished I’d stay longer.

I stood from the couch, gave him a hug, and made my way over to the
door. When I opened it, I turned, offered another good bye before stepping out
into the darkness, and made my way to my car. If I’d been paying attention, I
would have seen the truck parked in the driveway, and the figure leaning
against it.

When I reach my car door, the shadow moved at began to head for the
front door of my house. It was Nick. What was he doing here?

“What are you doing here?” it was out of my mouth before I had time to
censor it.

He spun, shocked that I’d called him out. He had a bouquet of flowers in
one hand which he held up, “I’m here to see your mom. I always come over on her
treatment days.”

Shock, amazement, and what might have been love surged through me. Here
was a man who I’d pretty much destroyed, and he was here for my mom, a mom he
no longer had any connection to.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I went to climb in my car while tears began
to silently fall.

“You’re welcome,” he nodded, and began to walk away. After taking a few
steps, he halted, and turned to look at me once again, “You know just because
you left me, it doesn’t mean I stopped caring about your family.” He sighed,
and then walked away as if he didn’t just leave me standing there dumbfounded.

After climbing in my car, I sat there for a few minutes as I watched him
disappear into the house. Pain and anguish washed over me. How had I walked
away from this man five years ago? How was I going to survive being back? I
wasn’t…that was the answer.
  

Chapter 4

Nick

After finishing my visit with Mrs. Carmichael, I decided to give my
brother a call. I knew after running into Leah that there was no way in hell I
was going to be able to get any sleep tonight. Cam always seem to know exactly
what to say to get me off the ledge of destruction. After talking to him, we
decided to head to Dave’s. It wasn’t much more than a hole in the wall place,
but it was close by, and no one would bother me there.

When I pulled my truck into the parking lot, I saw Cam leaning against
his trailblazer. He had a knowing look on his face, like he knew exactly why I
wanted to hang out here tonight. He smirked when I climbed out and nodded toward
the door.

“So…I take it you saw her today?” he lifted his chin in greeting.

“Who?” I wrinkled my forehead at him.

“OK…so that’s how it’s gonna be?” he shrugged and headed for the door.

We made our way inside and grabbed two empty stools at the bar. When
Joe, the bartender, made his way over to us, I ordered a couple of beers.

“Two Buds,” I mumbled as I scanned the room.

“She’s not gonna be here,” Cam snickered.

My head snapped in his direction and I narrowed my eyes at him, “Who are
you talking about?”

“She’s staying with Avery. I saw her car in the driveway when I headed
out here, and stop acting like you don’t know who I’m talking about,” he
shouldered into me, grabbed his beer, and took a long pull off of it. “Now
spill. Something’s bothering you.”

“I’m not some damn chick,” I grumbled.

“No…you’re not,” he snickered. “But you sure are acting like one.”

I quirked my brow at him, “How so?”

“Well…let’s see. You call me out here late at night. You won’t tell me
what’s bothering you. You avoid talking about whatever it is, and…your ex just
moved back to town. Dude…I know you’re still hurt over her.”

I shook my head as I ran my fingers over my face, “Am I that
transparent?”

“In a word…yes,” Cam grinned at me like a fool. “So…have you seen her?”

I nodded in the affirmative, “Yeah…twice.”

“And?” he motioned for me to continue.

“And what?” I shrugged.

“And how did she look?” he tipped his beer back finishing it and
signaled the bartender for another.

“I’m here drinking with you…how do you think she looked?” I grumbled.

“So…hot, amazing, better than ever? Am I getting close?” he chuckled.

“Better than any of that,” I sighed. “When she left…she was a kid, only
seventeen. Now…she’s a woman. She has the body of a woman,” I shook my head as
I felt heat spread through me.

Every time I pictured Leah, I thought about what she would feel like
pressed up against me. How her softness would yield to me. Would she beg me to
take her like she used to? Would she want the tender lover she had when we were
kids or would she want the alpha I’d turned into? Would she still whimper when
I thrust into her and plunged my tongue deep into the recesses of her mouth?

I shook my head trying to clear the images from my mind. The hard-on I
was sporting was not easy to conceal. Every time Leah entered my mind, my body
battled with my feelings. The physical side wanted to say, “Fuck it, she’s hot.
Push her up against the wall and take what you want. You need her.” My mind
would battle back, though, it would remind me that this girl ripped my heart
out without a second thought, and left me behind.

“Dude, where have you been,” Cam brought me back to reality.

“Nowhere,” I sighed. “I gotta get outta here.”

“You’re going to see her aren’t you?” he grinned at me.

“No!” I all but shouted. “I have ta work tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams,” he chuckled.

I turned and headed for the door. My dreams were going to be anything
but sweet. I knew that sleep was not on the agenda, but I had to get outta
here. Having her back, it was slowly killing me. As much as I knew I needed to
stay away, I just couldn’t. I knew that sooner or later, Leah Carmichael was
going to work her way back into my life. I just hoped that my heart could take
it.

ooooooooo

Leah

When I pulled back up to Avery’s house, now my house I guess, I sat in
the driveway trying to calm my nerves. Why was he there? He claimed that it was
to see my mother, but after what I did to him I find it hard to believe. Had he
been visiting the last four months? I made a mental note to ask my dad the next
time I was over there. I also told myself to find out what Mom’s treatment
schedule was so that I could avoid running into him again. He had said he came
on treatment days, right? I needed to avoid those like the plague.

When I entered the living room, Avery was sprawled out on the couch with
a wine glass in her hand. An open bottle was sitting on the table with a clean
glass for me.

“You couldn’t wait on me?” I joked.

“You’ve been out in the driveway for the last ten minutes, I didn’t know
when you’d decide to come in,” she shrugged as she finished off the glass in
her hand.

I rolled my eyes at her, “You’re going to turn into a drunk at this
rate.”

“Nah,” she giggled. “Come join me…tonight’s topic is Guy’s Suck!”

“Yeah…I can get in on that conversation,” I laughed as I tossed my keys
on the table beside the door and toed off my shoes. “Is this guys in general,
or are we talking about a specific one?”

She rolled her head to the side and smirked at me, “Are you really
asking me that?”

I shrugged as I sat down and filled my glass to the brim. After taking a
few large gulps, I refilled it and giggled when Avery’s eyes went wide.

“I ran into him again tonight,” I shrugged as if that was the answer to
the sudden need of liquid courage. “How long has he been visiting my parents?”

Avery sat up straight at that comment and set her glass on the table,
“What?”

“You heard me. When I was coming out of Mom and Dad’s he was waiting
there to visit. How long?”

“I didn’t know about that?” she shook her head. “I’m guessing awhile
maybe. I’ve only seen his truck there a hand full of times when I’ve driven
by.”

“So it is true? He goes to visit them after Mom’s treatments?” I sighed
as I took another sip.

“I guess,” Avery groaned. “Can we talk about something else? Like…what
did he say this afternoon at the high school?” she grinned like she had a
secret and wanted me to find out what it was.

“Not much,” I shrugged. “It was more anger than anything else. I think
he’s still mad at me for leaving. He got what he wanted though, I’m back now
and not going anywhere else. Joke’s on me, I guess,” I flopped back against the
couch. “Man I sound bitter.”

“Yeah,” Avery nodded. “You have a right to be. I don’t think you coming
back this way is what he wanted though. He loved you Leah. He wanted you to be successful.
He wanted to watch you take the gold medal and smile on that podium. He’s angry
over the way you left.”

“What was I supposed do?” I sighed. “I told him what was going on. He
could have come with me. It wasn’t like he was still in school, Avery. He’s
older. He was on his own. He could have come with me,” I began to cry. Just
thinking about that last night we had together brought tears to my eyes.

“So did you decide?” I
pushed myself up on my elbow and glanced down at Nick.

He sighed and slid himself
up against my headboard, sadness flitting across his face. “Baby…I can’t just
leave.”

“Why not?” tears welled
in my eyes. “Don’t you love me?”

“I can’t believe you’re
asking me that?” sadness morphed to anger as he pulled himself from the bed.

Nick began pacing the
room, working himself into a rage. Fear at what was going to fall from his lips
began to consume me. Didn’t he love me? After what we’d just shared I had
thought he did. Sweat still glistened on my skin from the heat that we’d created.
My sheets were still tangled around my legs.