She Smells the Dead (7 page)

“I miss you. You’re standing right in front of me and I miss you,” I choked and turned to leave. He hadn’t said anything. I was leaving and he wasn’t trying to stop me.
This must be what it feels like when your heart is breaking
. My feet felt frozen to the ground and yet all I wanted to do was run. Run as far away as I could and never come back.

Then his arms were surrounding me. I hadn’t heard him walk up behind me, but suddenly he had his arms wrapped around me and his warm chest pressed against my back. Calvin buried his face into my hair and then his right arm shifted and his tattoo was just inches from my face.

Then I passed out.

“Yuki?” a voice called to me.

I felt like I was sinking deeper and deeper.

“Yuki?” the voice called again.

Cal
? It couldn’t be Calvin. He was avoiding me and I was here sinking into the nice warm water.

“Yuki! Wake up,” the voice pleaded.

Suddenly I remembered going to Calvin’s house and trying to talk to him.
Oh why did I say all those corny things to him
? I remembered trying to leave and his arms around me.
Oh son of a dung beetle, his arm
. His arm had a tattoo similar to the one on the man in my dream.

Suddenly I pushed up from the darkness and was awake. “Cal?” I asked.

“Yuki, are you alright?” he asked with relief on his face.

“Cal, show me your arm,” I said trying to sit upright. The world was still moving a little and there were still shadows on the edges of my vision. “Calvin Miller, show me your right arm,” I said more forcefully.

He looked confused, and a bit embarrassed, but he showed me his right arm. “It’s just a tattoo. No big,” he said trying to make light of it.

Now that I had a close-up look at his tattoo, I could tell what was different from the one on the man in my dream. In my dream the man had a tattoo of a wolf chasing an eagle, and because of the design, the eagle was chasing the wolf and so on. Calvin’s tattoo was different. Calvin’s tattoo was of a wolf chasing a
scarab
chasing the wolf.

“Cal, we need to talk,” I said and for the second time today I passed out.

This time when I woke up Calvin was making something in the kitchen which gave me a moment to collect myself. I reached for my bag and starting looking for something. When Cal came in with a steaming mug, I handed him my dream diary in exchange.

“Hot cocoa,” he said, “Are you feeling any better? I can make you something to eat if you’re hungry.”

“Thanks, I’m good. I think you should read that though. There’s not much there, but it’s only been happening for a few nights,” I said.

He looked confused, but sat opposite me in the armchair and flipped open the notebook. I was blowing on the cocoa while covertly keeping an eye on Cal over the mug and watched his face blanch as he read.

“How much do you know?” he asked quietly.

“Not enough,” I answered.

“Do you know? Do you know about me?” he asked.

“No. Not really. I think there were clues in the dreams, but we always ran out of time. I just have a feeling,” I said hoping he’d explain what was going on.

“It’s going to sound crazy,” he said looking worried.

“Cal, this is me Yuki. I’m like the queen of crazy,” I said. “I smell dead people. Remember?”

“O.k., but it’s a long story. I think we’re going to need more cocoa,” he said getting up to put the kettle on the stove.

“Uh Cal? Is it a really long story?” I asked.

He looked back at me from the kitchen with one eyebrow raised.

“Could I take you up on that food after all?” I asked.

Then we both laughed. I came into the kitchen wrapped in his blanket and we joked like we always did. For the first time in days it was like nothing had changed. I had my friend back.

“Yuki,” Calvin said as he came up beside me, “Can I kiss you?”

Well, maybe a few things had changed
.

Chapter 20

Following a monster sized bagel slathered in cream cheese and a dreamy kiss from Cal, I settled on the couch. We were sitting facing each other, each with our backs against an armrest, my short legs leaning against his longer ones. I knew that what Cal was about to say was important and had the potential to change things between us, but I felt strangely relaxed.
Ready
. I was about to learn the truth.

Calvin’s face shifted between worried, excited, happy and scared. I reached for his hand to let him know I was here for him.

Looking from my hand to my face he smiled. “I guess I should start at the beginning,” he said grinning ruefully. “I’m not like other guys,” he said looking away.

No you’re not Calvin Miller
.

“But it’s difficult to explain,” he said squeezing my hand, “are you sure you want to know?” Cal looked up at me through his shaggy bangs and his blue eyes were questioning.

“Yes,” I whispered. Just one word but it seemed to be enough.

Calvin sat up straighter and began. “I’m connected to the wolf that you saw in your dream. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. You wrote in your dream journal that you saw a man and a wolf and a countryside ravaged by drought,” he said. “Do you remember what it looked like?” he asked.

“It was horrible,” I said closing my eyes for a moment. “There was so much pain there. It was like the land was crying but it was too dry for tears.” Embarrassed I opened my eyes to see Calvin looking at me intently.

“What you saw in your dream was true,” he said, “hundreds of years ago that place existed. There was a group of people and a pack of wolves that lived off the land in harmony. They weren’t friends exactly, but they respected each other. Then came the drought that killed the plants and the trees and dried up the lakes and rivers. Animals began to die and the birds stopped their singing. The ground dried up and was carried away on the wind. After many months of drought the humans had depleted their food stores of berries and dried meats and the wolves had ranged far to find prey. It was then, beneath a full moon, that the leader of the humans and the alpha wolf met on the hill where they could look out and see the suffering of their people.”

Cal cleared his throat and sipped from his mug of cocoa. One tear rolled down his cheek before he breathed deeply and began again. “The wolves of this place were old and pure. They were the great Silver Wolves who had long ago been touched by the Creator. These wolves had never left this place and so had not mixed with the other wolves of the world. Their blood still flowed with old magic. What the alpha wolf proposed that night was a pact. To save both of their peoples the wolves would give up their bodies so that the humans would continue to have children and survive. The humans in turn would carry the spirits of the wolves so that they would live on forever.” Calvin closed his eyes as though trying to recall the story and whispered, “The humans did survive and the Silver Wolves live on inside their children. When a child descended from these people reaches maturity the wolf spirit within begins to awaken.” Opening his eyes Cal looked at me sadly. “I am one of those people Yuki,” he said in a small voice so unlike him, “I thought I was going crazy, but it’s true. My dad finally told me. It follows his bloodline.” “Yuki,” he said, “I’m scared.”

I sat there stunned. Calvin was still holding my hand and I wanted to reach out and hold him and tell him everything would be alright, but I sat there rooted to the couch. Questions were racing through my head and I had no idea what to ask first. Without meaning to I blurted out the one that kept dancing through my mind like crazy. “Does that make you a werewolf?” I asked, then wished I hadn’t. It sounded silly when I said it out loud.

Calvin laughed, but he didn’t sound happy. “That’s kind of hard to answer,” he said looking sullen. “If you’re asking if I change into a wolf around the full moon, then I guess the answer is yes. I’m a werewolf,” he said with disgust. “It’s not like in the movies though,” he said and shuddered.
You’re a werewolf Calvin Miller
.

I suddenly wished that I hadn’t had that bagel and all those cups of cocoa. I had kissed him. I had kissed a werewolf. Did that mean I was, like, infected? If we had kids would they be little furballs?
Yuki, get a grip, get a grip, get a grip
. First, ixnay on the furballsay. Calvin had been a normal kid, so obviously he wasn’t born a baby wolf cub. Second, he had said the wolf spirit lived in the people of the old bloodline. It was a lot to process, but it seemed like I wasn’t going to sprout claws or fur anytime soon.
No Yuki, you just get to smell dead people
.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me. “Cal, is that why you missed school and didn’t come over this weekend?” I asked. I realized that I hadn’t just seen a full moon in my dreams. The nights had been really bright all weekend.

“Yeah, things have been weird for a while now, but my dad could tell that it was finally going to happen this time,” he said, “so just before the full moon my parents brought me out into the woods. It’s, um, easier there.”

He looked embarrassed again and I wondered what it must have been like. Trying to think of something that would make him feel better I said, “He’s beautiful you know. Your wolf.”
You’re beautiful Calvin Miller
.

I squeezed his hand and moved closer to him on the couch. “So you only change around the full moon, right?” I asked a mischievous smile playing on my lips.

“Yes,” Cal answered, the blue of his eyes deepening.

“Good, then it’s just the two of us,” I said and kissed him.

I
kissed a werewolf and I liked it
.

Chapter 21

Cal had offered to give me a ride to school the next day, but I had already made plans with Emma. When Emma pulled up she couldn’t wait to find out about my plant research.
Oh that
.

“Um, I kind of got distracted,” I answered with a slow smile.

“Wait, did something happen with you and Calvin?” she asked.

“Uh, you could say that,” I said turning to her in the driver’s seat. “We kissed. It was awesome.”

Emma squealed and congratulated me. “So do you think he’ll go veggie now that the two of you are dating?” Emma asked.

I tried to picture a wolf eating tofu.
Not so much
. “No, probably not,” I answered.

“Good. I need a victim to practice my arguments on,” she said and we both laughed.

Things were good and life was going back to normal. Except my boyfriend was a werewolf and I smell dead people.
Almost normal
.

Calvin was waiting for me at my locker. He was leaning against the wall of lockers and looked good in his blue jeans and t-shirt that stretched tight across the chest.
Better than good
. My eyes slid over to his right arm and I made a mental note to ask him about his tattoo. I’d have to wait until after classes were over since we couldn’t talk about his wolf issues here at school. We also hadn’t decided if we should tell Emma. Telling your friend you turn into a wolf each month around the full moon was a bit more complicated than telling her you had a strange psychic ability. Shaking off stressful thoughts, I went to go spend a few minutes with my boyfriend before class.

At lunch time Emma and I filled Cal in on the details of our visit to the Green farm and our impressions of Grace Green. Emma went on about how Grace was a heinous violator of bee labor rights and I finally worked in the bit about me suspecting her of murder. Calvin was taking it well, but I could tell he was concerned.

“I don’t think either of you should go back to that farm,” he said looking back and forth between us, “just in case.”

Emma looked like she was going to argue but then sighed. “I don’t think I could face those poor subjugated bees,” Emma said, “at least not until we find a way to overthrow the evil despot.”

“Would putting her away for murder fall into that plan?” I asked innocently. Emma and I smiled wickedly at each other.

“That would do perfectly,” Emma said.

Calvin just looked back and forth between us and threw up his hands. “I’m going to get another burger,” he grumbled, “and leave the plans for world domination to you two.”

He walked away to peals of laughter. When it came to planning world domination, or in this case how to bring down a murderer, I was glad to have Emma on my side. She was good at research and once she set herself a goal she never gave up.

I asked Calvin to give me a ride home and hang out after school and for Emma to come by after dinner. That way I would get a chance to ask Calvin about his tattoo and we could still fit in some ghost research. I was pleased to have a plan of action and my boots squeaked as I bounced all the way to my next class.
Don’t worry Jackson, I’ll help you find your way. I can be your flame in the darkness.
I know I can
.

Chapter 22

Cal was waiting for me by his truck after school. He was leaning against it reading something as I approached. As he closed the notebook, I realized it was my dream diary. “Sorry, I forgot to give this back to you yesterday,” he said handing the diary back to me.

“Thanks, there’s actually something from my dreams that I still need to ask you about,” I said as I stuffed the notebook into my backpack.

Calvin held out his hand and pulled me to him. “You can ask me anything,” he said, “anything at all.”

“It’s about your tattoo,” I said looking up at him.

“Oh,” he said looking uncomfortable. “That’s kind of hard to explain,” he answered.

“More difficult than explaining about turning furry?” I asked playfully. “Because I find that hard to believe.” I was trying for the one eyebrow raise, but was pretty sure that I was failing miserably.

“Can we take a detour on the way to your house?” Calvin asked. “It would be easier to talk about somewhere else,” he said.

“Sure,” I said and gave him a quick hug before getting into his truck.

Cal drove out towards his parent’s house, but just before his driveway he turned onto a muddy dirt road. I realized that he was taking me out to his dad’s workshop. I hadn’t been out here for years, but I remembered the pottery wheel and the smell of clay from previous visits. His dad claimed that working with clay was therapeutic and helped to relieve stress. My few failed attempts didn’t make me a believer, but I knew Cal always liked to hang out in the workshop as a kid.