She Writes Love... (3 page)

“Really? Because last week, the two of you were still together,” I said.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve moved on to Serenity.” He smiled.

“Where’d you meet her? The strip club?” Brady laughed.

He didn’t say anything, and we all looked at him. “Dude, did you go to the strip club by yourself?” Juan asked.

“I was torn up over having to break up with Julie and I needed to unwind and look at some eye candy. There’s nothing wrong with going to a strip club by yourself.”

We all laughed as I won and swept up all the chips.

“She’s a stripper, dude. You let a stripper suck your dick? I’d be having that thing examined by a doctor,” Brady said.

“Fuck you.” Lance laughed as he threw a chip at him.

I got up and grabbed another beer, asking if anyone else wanted one.

“Juan, how often do you and Becky have sex?” Brady asked.

“Usually twice a week. Why?”

“Linda has been slacking on her wifely duties lately. Can you believe it’s been over a month since we did it?”

“What?!” Both Juan and Lance said.

“Have you talked to her about it?” I asked.

“Yeah. She just said she isn’t in the mood and she’s tired all the time. Between work and Kara, she said she just doesn’t want to.”

“That’s not normal, man,” Juan said as he shook his head.

“You need to get some different pussy, dude!” Lance blurted out.

“Yeah, right. I would never cheat on Linda.”

“How about you, Ben? Don’t sit there and tell me that you haven’t had sex since Amy.”

This was why I hated getting together with these guys since Amy passed away. “I haven’t.”

Juan chuckled. “What do you do? Jack off to porn?”

I didn’t say anything because it was none of their business. Amy and I had a great sex life, but now she was gone and so was the sex. As great as it would be to have sex again, I only wanted it with my wife.

“Guys, that’s not cool,” Brady said.

“Sorry, man,” they said as they patted me on the back.

Paisley

S
unday. The day of family dinner. Sunday had become the day I dreaded the most. Don’t get me wrong – I loved my family more than anything. It was just that family dinners seemed to turn into a pity party. When I walked into the kitchen, I could smell my mom’s homemade pumpkin pie. She always made them this time of year, especially with Halloween in a few days.

“It smells delicious in here.” I smiled as I walked over and kissed her.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I made a pie for you to take home.”

Pumpkin pie was his favorite. My mom made them every year for us and, since he passed, she didn’t stop to think that I no longer wanted pumpkin pie. I graciously smiled at her and didn’t say a word. It would hurt her feelings if I did.

“Hey, you.” Charlotte smiled as she walked over and hugged me. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to call you last week. I’ve been pulling double shifts at the hospital. This flu season has been killing us.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been pretty busy anyway.” I smiled. “Where is everyone?”

“They’re in the back, playing football with your dad,” my mom replied.

I grabbed a cigarette from my purse and walked outside. “I wish you wouldn’t do that,” my mom yelled from the kitchen.

“Yeah, yeah, Mom.”

When I walked outside, I took a seat at the table next to Piper.

“Hey, sis.”

“How was your anniversary dinner?” I asked as I lit up my cigarette.

“It was amazing!” She grabbed my arm and smiled. “I’ve been dying to tell you. Liam asked me to marry him! I haven’t told anyone yet because we’re announcing it at dinner, so act really surprised!”

I was happy for Piper. Very happy. But a part of me fell hard because I wasn’t ready to deal with my sister’s wedding. “Piper, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations! I don’t want to hug you because they’ll know something’s up.”

“Thank you. I was going to call you yesterday and tell you, but we just kind of got busy.”

I was puffing away on my smoke when my dad walked over to me. I put out the cigarette before he hugged me.

“Hi, my baby girl. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Dad, I was just here last Sunday for family dinner.”

“It still seems like forever.” He smiled. “I hate you smelling like smoke.”

“Paisley,” Keaton yelled as he high fived me.

Liam and Ryan gave me a kiss on the cheek before we were summoned for dinner. We all took our usual seats in the dining room. The seat to my left remained empty, just as it had been for almost a year. Nobody ever bothered to move down a chair. I didn’t know if they were afraid that I’d rip their heads off or if I would break down and cry. My mom was a phenomenal cook and she loved it. She cooked for every holiday or any special occasion she could think of. As we passed the food around the table, Piper took hold of Liam’s hand and stood up.

“Liam and I have an announcement to make. We’re getting married!” she exclaimed as she held out her hand with her beautiful huge diamond ring.

My mom cupped her hands over her mouth, jumped up, and ran over to give them a hug. Everyone was so happy. I sat there with a smile on my face and noticed my dad looking over at me, making sure I was okay. And I was okay until Charlotte stood up and made an announcement.

“I would like to make a toast to Piper and Liam. Congratulations on your engagement. May you have many long and wonderful years together. Ryan and I also have some news of our own to share. We’re having a baby!” She smiled.

Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together
. I chanted in my head over and over again. My mom put her hands over her heart this time and tears sprang from her eyes. My dad was filled with joy as he congratulated her. The air in the room was light until all eyes focused on me. I held up my glass and congratulated them with tears in my eyes. Happiness tears to my family. Sad and lonely tears to me.

Once things had calmed down and we finished eating, I helped my mom, Charlotte, and Piper clean up.

“I can’t believe I’m finally going to be a grandma,” my mom said with excitement.

“Have you set a wedding date yet?” I asked Piper.

“No, but now it will be after Charlotte’s baby is born. I need both my sisters in my wedding,” she said as she hooked her arm around me and laid her head on my shoulder.

“So much exciting news today!” My mom smiled.

I grabbed a cigarette and my lighter and went out to the patio. I sat there just as the sun was starting to set.

“Hey,” Keaton said as he sat down next to me.

“Hey.”

“You okay with all the news today?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You don’t need to pretend with me, Paisley.”

I took a puff of my smoke and looked away. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that it totally sucks that my two sisters have the most incredible news and are so deliriously happy while I’m sitting here still mourning the death of my husband after only one year of marriage at twenty-seven years old?”

“That pretty much sums it up,” he said as he grabbed hold of my hand. “You’ll be okay. I was talking to Elena today and she asked about you. She said that there’s a spousal support group over at the medical center on Sunset Blvd. They meet every Friday night at eight o’clock. I think you should go.”

“You want me to go to a support group?” I asked with a shocked tone.

“Yeah. I think you need to. Humor me. Go one time and if you don’t like it, then don’t ever go back. But at least you can say you went.”

“You’re crazy. I’m not going to a spousal support group and listening to a bunch of old people talk about how they were married for fifty plus years.”

Keaton sat there and kept slowly shaking his head. “I love you, but you’re really stupid sometimes. People are trying to help you, Paisley.”

“What’s going on out here?” my dad asked as he sat down on the other side of me, took the cigarette from my hand, and put it out.

“I thought you and Elena were taking a break?” I said as I looked at Keaton.

“We are, but we still talk.”

I rolled my eyes as my dad put his arm around me and Keaton got up and walked away.

“What’s going on, baby?”

“Nothing, Dad.”

“How’s Dear Paisley doing?”

“The column is doing great. Better than everyone expected.”

“That’s good to hear, but I meant the person.” He smiled.

“I’m—”

“Not doing well. I already know that and I saw the look on your face when Piper and Charlotte shared their news.”

I sighed as I laid my head on his shoulder. “I’m really happy for both of them and, believe me, this family needs some good news and something else to focus on besides me.”

“You, my darling daughter, are so right. I heard Keaton say something about a support group. I think you should go.”

“Nah. I’m good, Dad.”

He softly kissed the side of my head. “You’re not fooling anyone but yourself, sweetheart. Now let’s go inside; it’s time for dessert.”

He got up and went back inside while I stayed back for a moment. My sisters came out and Charlotte handed me a piece of apple pie.

“Here. I made this and I told Mom that this year, you weren’t eating the pumpkin pie.”

I smiled as I took it from her. “Thank you.”

They both took a seat next to me and put their arms around me. “You okay with everything going on today?” Piper asked.

“Yeah. I’m okay and I’m so happy for the both of you. I really am.”

I left my parents’ house that night, went home to Romeo, and made a cup of tea. We snuggled in bed as I opened my laptop and stared at the pictures of
him
.

Ben

L
ast day of my three-day shift. Last night was brutal with the apartment building fire, but we got it under control and there were no casualties. It was my turn to cook dinner tonight, so I decided to make everyone burgers. Shana, one of the only two women on the squad, helped me out by cutting up the tomatoes and onions. She was a good firefighter and she was one of the guys. I mean that in a literal way. Her girlfriend, Kylie, was an ER Nurse over at Cedars Sinai Hospital. They met one night after Shana got hurt in a fire.

“Thanks for cutting that stuff up,” I said as I walked in from outside with the burgers.

“No problem, Ben. You know I like to help out any way I can. Hey, Kylie’s got this friend that I think you should meet.”

I sighed. “I don’t think so, Shana. I’m not ready to start dating or anything.”

“I don’t blame you. I told Kylie that I would ask. She’s pretty geeked up about fixing you up with someone.”

“Tell Kylie that I appreciate the thought, but I’m not interested.”

We gathered around the table and ate dinner until the fire alarm sounded and we were off to fight another fire.

****

I
slept for ten hours straight and the only thing I remembered was dreaming about Amy. My eyes flew open and I could swear I smelled her perfume lingering in the air. I climbed out of bed and splashed my face with cold water. My phone started beeping with a text message from my mom.

“Meet us at Cleo at eight o’clock for Olivia’s birthday. It was a last-minute change in plans. Sorry for the short notice. See you soon.”

“I’ll be there.”

I shook my head because we were supposed to be celebrating her birthday this weekend. It was already six o’clock when I looked at the time on my phone. Shit. I didn’t have a gift for her. Quickly, I jumped in the shower and got ready so I could leave earlier and stop at the florist to pick up some flowers on my way to the restaurant.

“There you are. You’re late,” my mom said as she hugged me.

“Sorry, but traffic was pretty bad and I had to make a stop. Happy birthday, Olivia.” I smiled as I kissed her cheek and handed her the flowers.

“They’re beautiful, Ben. Thank you.”

Olivia was a fourth-grade teacher and Finn taught high school. They had been dating for a little over a year. They met when they both had to take a class for their Master’s degrees. He told me that he was planning to propose to her on her birthday, which was this Saturday. As I glanced over at her hand, I didn’t see the ring, so he still must be waiting until then.

“How are you, son?” my dad asked.

“I’m fine, Dad.”

“How’s the good old fire station doing?”

“It’s doing great.”

My father retired from the fire station two years ago after suffering from a heart attack and undergoing bypass surgery. It was then he realized that he needed to make a life change and he did. He retired, starting eating right and exercised.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Finn asked.

“I have plans. Why?”

“I was hoping that you would come with me and Olivia to a wine tasting party over at Vitello’s.”

“Thanks for the invite, bro, but maybe next time.”

My family didn’t know where I went on Friday nights. They didn’t need to know. That bar was my place of escape, even if it only was for a couple of hours.

****

“H
i, Damian,” I said as I walked in.

“Evening, Ben. How was your week?”

“Long. Very long.”

He set my usual bottle of beer in front of me, and when I went to take a drink, that man from last week sat down next to me.

“Long time no see, pal. I can’t believe how fast the week went by.”

“I don’t think I caught your name last week,” I said.

“Oh, sorry. I’m David.”

“Nice to meet you, David. I’m Ben.”

“Likewise.”

“I really couldn’t stop thinking about those fish and chips you were eating last week, so I decided I had to come back and order some.”

“You’ll be happy you did.” I smiled.

We got to talking for quite a while. We ate our fish and chips, drank a beer, and then I told him about Amy. He sort of asked after he overheard Damian mention her.

“I’m really sorry to hear that. I really don’t know what to say, bud.”

“Thanks.”

“Have you talked to someone? Like a therapist?”

“No. That really isn’t my thing.”

“You know that medical building down the street?”