Shh! (3 page)

There were half a dozen people in the common room, watching some crappy reality television show. I scooted around the back of the seats and up into the dining hall. Dinner smelled delicious—burgers—if my senses served me right.

Twirling my meal card around my fingers, I strolled right up to the servery and stood in line. The girl in front of me turned and I tossed a confident smile her way. She smiled back. The line wasn’t moving yet as dinner hadn’t officially started, but people began flowing in, increasing the number of voices in the room. I swiped my clammy hands on my jeans. This was the first time in more than a year that I’d come down to dinner alone. Generally I came with Christian and being alone was a little daunting. It was all cool, though. Savvy should turn up soon, then I wouldn’t look like a loner. She never responded to this morning’s text and I hadn’t seen her since Saturday night, but that wasn’t uncommon if she’d hooked up with a guy. Especially with how busy I’d be this year. She knew my Sundays were reserved for study, so she didn’t usually bother me then, and today we’d been at classes. Still, it was a little weird. She could have at least called to chat about Christian, surely she knew like everyone else.

My tummy grumbled like a truck moving at high speed. I glanced at the clock; it read five-thirty p.m. The line started moving, thank the lord. I glanced over my shoulder, and surprisingly the line curled all the way around the edge of the hall. Everyone had to be famished tonight, not just me.

I kept my eyes to the front and walked through the servery where I built my own burger: meat, egg, tomato, beetroot, no lettuce, and a slathering of tomato sauce—perfect. As I emerged out the other side, my gaze slid over the line, looking for someone who might join me, and the weirdest thing happened. Not a soul met my gaze. It was like they all deliberately looked the other way, or were engrossed in such deep conversation that they didn’t see me.

I’d never had problems with friends. People just … well … they liked me. It had always been that way. I liked everyone, and they all liked me back.

My tummy churned for reasons not associated with hunger. What the heck had I done wrong? I walked over to one of the many empty tables and set my tray down, then flicked my phone out of my pocket and pretended to check my texts. Savvy had replied and I’d missed it.

Sorry I missed breakfast. Catch you at dinner.

A string of girls who I knew—we’d all been freshers together last year—walked right past me, talking softly as if they thought I couldn’t hear, but when people are talking about you, it’s not hard to tell. And those girls were most definitely doing just that. The glances my way every few seconds were a dead giveaway when everyone else in the room was deliberately avoiding my gaze.

I ducked my head, and studied my phone again. Whatever was going on, it was weird. I was the captain of Oxley’s hockey team, netball team, in the social committee, and even campaigning for the university’s student council. I had lots of friends.

Savannah’s giggle sounded like it came from somewhere behind me. Thank gosh. I really needed to talk to her and figure out what was happening. The whispers and stares, the fresher at uni this morning, Dane on Saturday night,
sexploits
—Oh my gosh. Christian. I glanced over my shoulder, raising my hand to call Savvy over, but my heart dropped into my stomach.

Savvy was attached to Dane’s hip. Her arm hung around his waist and his rested on her shoulders. Christian walked in step with them and the two guys wore massive grins. I hadn’t seen Christian that happy since … well, since I couldn’t remember. I suppose now that I thought about it, lately he’d been kind of cranky and tired. Always tired.

I swung back around in my seat, hoping they hadn’t seen me, and there someone had sat in the chair opposite me: the tool from this morning. He stared like I was some porn star he’d just paid to watch. And he smelled like a brewery; not to mention his eyes looked a little glassy.

Those same eyes locked on my mine and he placed his flattened palm on his chest like he was about to dive headfirst into a heartfelt apology. Which frankly, he owed me. His hand circled over his left pec, going for his heart, but then it moved to the other side and—
ohmygod
did he just tweak his nipple?
My heart pounded a little faster and I glanced away. The entire dining hall looked at us. But he was like a train wreck. I couldn’t stop my gaze sliding back. His hand trailed down his chest and disappeared under the table in the general direction of his groin. He moaned, then his arm started moving slow at first and increasing in speed, all the while his dark eyes held my gaze. Then the crazy guy rolled his eyes back in his head and yelled, “Yes. Aaa—aa—ash. Yes!”

Someone clapped.

He arched his back. What in hell’s name was this freak doing? It was like that old nineties movie where the chick faked an orgasm in the middle of a café, except this was some dude in the centre of the Oxley College dining hall and I wasn’t entirely sure he was faking it.

Spent, he flopped in the seat, his arms hanging beside it, then snapped his head forward again and his face split in a stupid grin as he pushed his chair back, placed an arm across his waist, and freaking bowed.

Everyone laughed.

The whole room full of people thought this idiot was funny.

I couldn’t move. It was as if the air had frozen around me and I was a statue unable to even blink.

“My impersonation of the one and only Olivia Dean,” he shouted, loud enough for the whole room to hear.

Couldn’t the ground just open up and swallow me already? My cheeks burned so hot they should have caught fire. Blood rushed past my ears so loud that I couldn’t hear anything; my stomach lurched.

I was going to throw up.

I needed to get out of there, right now. Whatever held me in place snapped free. I shot to my feet and high-tailed it out of the dining hall, past a million staring faces. The common room was no more than fuzz at the edge of my periphery, Front Courtyard much the same. I cut across the back of block F and made a beeline for K, then darted up the stairs and into my room.

Whatever was going down, it looked like I was the centre of a joke I didn’t find funny or nice.

A soft tap sounded at my door. I ignored it. They could all go to hell. I flung myself on my bed, totally humiliated. Why was this happening? I didn’t sleep around. I wasn’t a tease. I was just me, plain old Olivia Grace Dean. Was this because of Christian? He’d said sexploits, and there must be sexy rumour with my name slapped on it. I needed to pull myself together and talk to him. Talk this out like we should have on Saturday night.

Yes, that’s what I’d do. Tomorrow. Right now, I couldn’t move at all. My legs felt all wobbly, and my stomach still threatened to bring up all the food I hadn’t eaten today. Good thing I kept a stash of snacks in my top cupboard. Somehow managing to climb to my feet, I threw the cupboard open and my heart sank. It was just about bare. I scavenged some dried fruit from the very back and sat at my desk, busting the packet open.

I flicked my computer on, and when it booted up, went straight to email. Four new messages. Mum, Student Services, Savannah, and [email protected].
Hmm, not an address I know.
Savvy’s message was date stamped yesterday, 16:09.

I’m so sorry about Christian. The guy’s a jerk and revenge will be sweet. Knocked on your door once or twice today to plan said revenge, but you didn’t answer. I won’t let you get away with solitude for long.

I clicked to open the other message from an unknown sender.

Olivia Wants-To-Sit-Alone,

Your screen was noticeably blank at the end of today’s lecture. Thought you might appreciate a re-cap.

You’re welcome.

Stalker Boy

Ohmygod.
I snapped the offending laptop closed and jumped away from it. Lhays14 had to be Logan. How in the heck did he get my email and why was he being nice?

He
so
wanted in because of those damn rumours. Whatever they were.

CHAPTER THREE

I wasn’t game to show my face around college until I got to the bottom of this mess. At least not in crowded places like the dining hall, which meant I needed food somewhere else, which meant a trip into town. Luckily, I had no early classes on Tuesdays. My first lecture was at eleven, so I had time to nick in and back out before I needed to head up the hill to campus.

After a quick shower, and pulling on my jeans and tee, I grabbed my purse and headed out. With nerves churning my tummy yet again, I took the long way around the back of the dorm and to the street, then over to the bus stop. Not walking through college was self-preservation, not cowardice. Maybe. While I waited for it to arrive, I tipped my head back and peered up at the dappled light passing through the massive elm trees.

Town, then uni, then tonight I’d talk to Christian.

A lump formed in my throat. We’d had a good thing and it was over. I had no idea why or even if it was my fault. Christian and Dad had gotten on so well when he’d come to visit me over the summer break that my parents would be disappointed. Christian came from a good family that was well connected. I sighed. Who broke up with someone without even discussing the reasons? And publicly? It all seemed really ... high school.

“Livia!”

I cringed at the sound of my not-name being hollered from the opposite side of the road, but it was just Savannah, looking like a giant strawberry in a bright trench coat and matching crimson boots. She waved like a lunatic, glanced both ways far too quickly and darted across the road to join me. Her arms swooped around me as she pulled me in tight. I almost melted into her embrace, for the first time in days I felt a little less alone.

“Where have you been? I’ve called by a dozen times and you never answer, then you’re not at meals either, or answering emails. I’ve been worried about you, and I’m so sorry about Christian.”

“It’s been weird. Everyone’s been weird.” I swallowed the pain in my throat.

She pushed me back at arm’s length and her gaze rolled over me from head to toe.

“You look terrible. Where’s all your style ... and your ... your makeup?”

A rumble made me bring my gaze back to the road in time to see the bus pull up. I would have rathered stay here with my best friend, but there wasn’t time.

“That’s me. I’ve got to go, but I need to talk to you, tonight?”

“I’ve gotta talk to you, too.”

I pushed away, fished a handful of coins out of my purse and handed them to the driver as I climbed on the bus. There were a few people sitting up back, but mostly it was empty which suited me just fine. I slid into a vacant seat near the middle and rested my head against the window.

I look terrible.

Something smacked into the glass and I glanced outside where Savvy waved her arms around like an airport landing marshal. When she realised she’d caught my attention, she shook her head and pouted. Was that a no, she couldn’t talk tonight? The bus pulled away before I could figure out her wild gestures.

I just about upended my purse searching for my compact, my mother’s voice admonishing me even when she wasn’t here;
always look your best, Olivia. It doesn’t matter if you’re out to lunch with the queen or just lazing around the house.
She’d hate to see me in jeans, not a skirt or dress pants. At least my hair was styled perfectly and not pulled up in a messy ponytail. Most of the contents of my bag rested on my lap and my fingers scraped the bottom lining. It wasn’t there. I shoved everything back in and took to staring out the window. No point wallowing over what I couldn’t change.

We finally pulled up at my stop and I got off. My stomach rumbled like I hadn’t eaten in three days, which I kind of hadn’t. Not a proper meal anyway. There was enough money in my account that I could splurge on breakfast. That was an awesome idea. Bacon, eggs, sausages … I needed all of those and by the sound my stomach just made it sure seemed to agree.

I headed into the mall. An almost empty cafe caught my attention. Privacy was just what I needed, so I waltzed in, eyeing off all four booths and less than a dozen rickety tables. No one I knew was about, so I pulled out a wooden seat just inside the door, placing my back to the mall and any passers-by. Laminated menus rested against the salt and pepper shakers. Grabbing one, I gave it a quick once over. Wow, those were some pretty steep prices. No doubt the reason this place wasn’t teeming with college kids like most other cafes in town.

I scanned the menu more thoroughly.
Pancake stack served with your choice of maple syrup and double cream or a fresh fruit compote.

Hmm not bad.

Fried bacon, mushrooms, tomato, hashbrown, eggs cooked to your liking. Served with two slices of deliciously thick toast.

My mouth flooded. My tummy grumbled. The food called my name.

“Well, if it isn’t Olivia Wants-To-Sit-Alone.”

I flinched at the sound of Logan’s smooth voice. What the flip was he doing here? My hand hit my purse which scooted across the table, knocking over a jug of water that wasn’t there a moment ago. Liquid pooled on the wooden surface and seeped toward its edges. Shoving my chair back, I grabbed the only napkin in the otherwise empty holder and tried to soak up the mess. My fight was futile though—water cascaded down the sides of the table while Logan chuckled. He swept a cloth over the wooden surface, and soaked up my mess, yet bubbles of water remained on the shiny surface. I’d made such a mess even his towel sized cloth couldn’t absorb it all. What was wrong with me? Every time I was around this guy I turned into a clumsy fool.