Shielding Lily (4 page)

I
keep
a watch on her out of the corner of my eye as I go to the line and grab two trays. I can see her indecision from here, and I know if I don’t hurry she’s going to ditch me. Luckily the ladies here know me and load me up. I’m quiet, but they know I can put away food, so two trays isn’t unusual for me. Lily fidgets and then moves her hand to her bag. She looks over to me, and I stare her down, telling her with a look not to move. I can’t protect her if she runs from me, and God knows where she would end up if she got lost. Our high school is huge, and I hate the thought of her being lost and alone. I nod to her, letting her know I’m almost finished, and she takes her hand off her bag and places it in her lap.

I walk to the end of the line, and they ring up my food and charge my school badge. My parents put money in an account for me at the school, and the cost of it is taken from that balance. I help my dad at the hardware store some nights and on the weekends in the off season to earn money. So if I need to add extra to the school account, I can. But I’m not worried about making sure Lily has enough to eat. She will have whatever she damn well wants.

I take the trays over to where she’s sitting and place them both in front of us and sit beside her. I could easily sit across from her, but I want to be as close to her as I can. I feel like my body is so much bigger than hers, so I can shield her from something if necessary.

These thoughts about protecting her keep popping in my head, and I don’t know where they come from. I’ve never felt so strongly about someone so instantly, but the need is overwhelming.

“What are you in the mood for?” I ask, nudging a fry towards her.

“This is a ton of food. Let me give you some money.” She starts to reach in her bag, but I place my hand over hers and bring it back to my lap.

“Don’t worry about it. Whatever you don’t eat, I will. So you better pick something before it’s gone.”

She smiles at me, and it hits me right in the chest. It’s more powerful than any hit I’ve taken playing football. How can she have this effect on me?

She looks at the food and takes the plate with a slice of pizza and scoots it closer to her. I’m still holding her other hand in my lap, so with my free hand I grab one of the Cokes and place it in front of her, following it with an order of fries. After that I grab the brownie and set it beside it, and she waves her hand.

“That’s enough. I’m good,” she laughs and looks up at me through her lashes. “We can share.” She pushes the brownie between us, and the thought of sharing with her sounds intimate.

I grab one of the three burgers and take a bite while she does the same with her pizza. Neither of us takes our hands away while we eat. It’s as if we’ve been doing this for longer than a few hours, and I have no desire to stop it.

She leans over to me, and she speaks so softly I can barely hear what she’s saying. “People are whispering.”

I look around the room for what feels like the first time in forever. Normally I don’t really pay attention to my surroundings when I’m in the cafeteria. I grab an empty seat, eat, and leave. Sometimes I’ll read in the quad before my next class, but that’s about it. I catch a few stares before people turn away, but I look at Lily and shake it off.

“People usually do that when I’m around. Just ignore it. It’s not you.”

“Why do you think it’s you?” she asks, genuine curiosity in her voice.

“Because I don’t talk much. And I keep to myself.” I shrug and go back to eating.

“You’ve talked to me, and you don’t know me.”

I stop and think about that for a second. She’s right, but I don’t know how to explain it so that I don’t sound crazy. My whole life my dad has said I’ve been a natural talent at whatever I do. I’m smart, so I make straight As. I’m athletic, so I’ve got a full ride to college. But he’s told me over and over that I need to find my passion. That one day I’ll find something that I can’t live without, and that’s what I should do with my life. Looking at Lily, her big blue doe eyes meeting mine, I feel something in my heart change. I think I’ve found something I’m passionate about.

“You’re special,” I whisper and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She ducks her head, but I see the blush on her cheeks before she turns away.

We sit in comfortable silence for a bit until I force her to eat another slice of pizza and half a cheeseburger and fries before she finally gives in.

“I’m going to die. I can’t eat anymore,” she says, trying to hold back a laugh.

“But you’ve got your dessert stomach, so it’s all good.”

“My what?” she says playfully, and I stifle the urge to pull her into my lap.

“You know, you’ve got one stomach for food, and then you’ve got one stomach for dessert. So no matter how much dinner you eat, there’s always room for sweets.” I’m telling her the same thing my mom has been saying since I was a kid. I unwrap the brownie and hold it out for her to take a bite.

She shakes her head at me, but I wiggle it a little and smile at her. She laughs and leans forward, opening her mouth, and I try not to stare at her full lips as they open and she takes a bite of the corner. I feel her mouth graze my thumb, and it sends heat pulsing down my spine. How did something so innocent and funny turn into something more in a matter of seconds?

“Don’t you two look cozy.”

I look over and watch Brent take a seat across from us. He tries to pull one of my trays over to him, but I reach out and grab it, pulling it back. He gives me a
what’s your problem?
look, but then he’s distracted by who’s beside me. His eyes roam over Lily, and the sneer he gives her infuriates me. I want to hide her and teach this guy some respect. I want to punch my quarterback in the eyes because he doesn’t deserve to look at her.

Lily tenses next to me, and I need to get her out of here before I do something Brent will regret.

I
drop
my gaze back down to the cafeteria table, fidgeting nervously. I swallow the bite of brownie still in my mouth, but the arrival of the new guy makes it turn to ash. He showed up and popped the little bubble that Ren had made around me. I’d actually forgotten for a moment where we were.

“Fuck off, Brent,” Ren says, and I tense up even more. Ren moves in closer like he’s trying to shield me from the guy. He laughs at Ren’s words, but something about it lets me know that he doesn’t think it’s funny at all.

“Coach wants to see you,” he says to Ren, trying to dismiss his attitude.

“Busy,” Ren fires back in a hard voice. I wonder if they’re friends. The way Brent sat down made it seem like they were at first, but Ren seems mad about him being here. Not that I care, because I don’t want him here either. Not with the look he gave me when he sat down. It was like I was some kind of bug he wanted to study. Like I don’t belong here and he wants to figure out why I think I do.

“You done?” Ren asks next to my ear. I nod, and I watch as he wraps up the rest of the brownie, then picks up my backpack and puts it in the front pocket. He’s saving it for later for me.

Feeling awkward and unsure if these two are about to have a fight or something, I look for an exit. I don’t want to be in the middle of it if it happens, and I want to see the quickest way out of here.

“Like Coach gives a shit you’re out here trying to get laid. You better—”

Ren slams his hand down hard on the cafeteria table, making me jump at the loud bang. It echoes through the room, and the whole cafeteria falls silent. I cringe knowing everyone is looking at us. God, I wish I could disappear. This is not good.

“I think you forget the season’s over, Brent. I don’t care if you take a hit anymore.” His tone is low but deadly and sends a streak of fear through me. My father can do that. Switch from nice to not so nice, but normally there’s alcohol involved.

I grab my bag from Ren’s hand and stand up, almost tripping over my own feet. Ren catches me from falling on my ass, and I hear a few laughs, adding to my already sky-high level of embarrassment. This keeps getting worse.

“Easy, sweetheart,” Ren says, righting me, the hard edge to his voice gone.

“I have to go.” I push the words out, turning to leave the cafeteria as fast as I can. I pull my schedule out as I make my way down the hallway looking for my next class. When I reach the door, I see that Ren has followed me but is hanging back a few steps. We make eye contact and he stops moving.

“Wait for me after class,” he tells me, but I don’t respond as I slip into the classroom and take my seat. As more students trickle into the room, I take a few breaths and relax, trying to calm down from the lunchroom drama.

After a moment, I pull out my drawing pad and start sketching as I wait for class to start. I remember Ren saying we had the same schedule, but as the class starts he’s nowhere to be seen. I wait all through class hoping to see him, but he never shows. Maybe I misunderstood him earlier.

After the bell rings, I slip out of the room, blending in with the other students. I don’t see him anywhere, and my mind whirls as I remember what happened in the cafeteria at lunch. I think about how different Ren became at the flip of a switch. How different he’d been with me. Maybe he and Brent have issues. I should worry that Ren would be like that with me. He seemed so nice and perfect and made me feel special. He made me feel at ease in a new place, and I’d never had that happen before.

Knowing last period is a study hall, I decide to leave. I can turn in the application I grabbed from the gas station I stopped at this morning. I’m not sure the hours will work, but I’m going to see if I can make it happen.

“Lily, wait up!” a female voice yells. I turn to see Kristen running towards me, her high ponytail bouncing behind her.

I stop, manners getting the best of me.

“Hey,” she says breathlessly. “I saw what happened in the cafeteria.”

I shrug, because what am I supposed to say to that? I’m not sure what happened in there. She probably has more of an idea than I do. I know Brent and Ren are the boys she and the redhead Carrie were talking about this morning.

“I wanted to let you know, girl to girl.” She steps in closer to me like she’s going to tell me a secret. “The football boys have this game they play with new girls.” She shakes her head like she can’t believe they are so immature. “They try to see who can nail the new girl first. I would’ve told you this from the start, but well…” She looks me over with that same look Brent gave me. Like I’m some weird bug. “I didn’t think they’d do it with you. You’re not really their type.”

Ouch. The little bit of hope for Ren I’d been carrying slips away. It burns deep. Deeper than it should for someone I’ve only known for hours. But it’s a loss I should be used to. I lose everyone. I should be accustomed to the feeling, but this is a heavy weight on my heart for some reason. I feel a stinging burn behind my eyes.

“Yeah, thanks for the warning,” I tell her, turning to leave.

“Us girls have to stick together, you know,” she says from behind me, and I keep walking. It isn’t until I’m outside do I remember I don’t have my coat. It’s still in Ren’s locker and there is no way I’m going back there to get it.

I hope tomorrow I don’t have the same classes as him.