Authors: Jeff Povey
The Ape takes a photo of Lucas on his phone camera.
I am stunned. ‘What the hell are you doing?’
‘I’m going to text the others, show them what’s happened.’
‘What?? I mean, my God. No. NO! That’s a picture of a hanged boy. And you think you can Instagram him? Don’t you dare. You hear me. Don’t. You. Dare.’
As I rail at the Ape I spot a note that Lucas has left and pick it up. It’s short and simple and full of dread and sorrow. He doesn’t know where everyone has gone and he’s
scared and doesn’t want it to be like this. My tears hit the ink and make it run. I knew Lucas was fragile and highly strung, no pun intended, I swear, but I never thought he was capable of
this.
‘We need to get him down,’ I say to the Ape, wiping my eyes.
‘I’m not touching him.’
‘C’mon, he can’t just . . . We can’t . . . C’mon Ape, please. We need to get him down.’ I don’t know what I think I’ll achieve by getting Lucas
down but I know we can’t leave him up there. ‘Get the stool,’ I instruct.
‘I’m not going anywhere near him.’ The Ape backs away.
‘For goodness sake!’ I grab the stool and climb up onto it so I can cut the dog lead with a knife I grab from a kitchen drawer. ‘Get ready to catch him at least.’
‘I told you, no way.’
I almost fall off the chair as I try desperately to cut him down and reach for his muscular arm to try and steady myself.
‘He’s still warm!’ I can barely believe it.
‘So?’
‘We must’ve been so close to getting to him. Minutes away. If we’d found him earlier, kept on looking last night . . .’ My voice trails away. Lucas, the boy who had more
than all of us put together, didn’t know what else to do other than end it.
‘Please just catch him. Please,’ I beg.
The Ape finally takes up position so that he can help me.
‘What are you going to do once you’ve got him down?’
‘I don’t know!’
But while I hesitate, the dog lead, which I’ve half sliced through, gives way and Lucas’s body crashes to the floor in a heavy and undignified heap. The Ape and I hear a bone crack
and we both wince at each other.
‘Think that was his ankle,’ the Ape says.
I stand on the chair wondering if we could possibly make this any worse for Lucas when a text message comes through from Johnson on the Ape’s phone.
We r coming
now!
I’m stunned and turn on the Ape. ‘You sent the photo?’
‘You don’t know what to do, I don’t either, so maybe one of them will.’
I step off the stool and reel away from the Ape. He is right but he’s also so very wrong.
‘Rev.’
‘Don’t. I can’t talk to you right now.’
I head deeper into the house and find a blanket to cover Lucas’s body with. That’s two bodies I’ve covered over and I truly hope I never have to again.
The Ape has found a packet of ham in the fridge and is rolling it up and stuffing it into his mouth. ‘Dead is dead,’ he says quietly. I think it’s his stab at an apology but I
don’t know for sure.
‘I know,’ I say sadly. ‘I get it. OK.’
The Ape ambles over to me, stepping around Lucas as he does. I can smell the ham on his breath and see that his prehistoric brain is working overtime to try and put the right words into his
mouth. He is frowning hard and being concerned is clearly taking it out of him.
‘I’m still here, Rev.’
I look into his deep-brown cow eyes and again get the sense that he cares about me. But he’s also talking to my boobs so maybe it’s really them he cares about.
We meet the others outside Lucas’s house. They have hurried as fast as they can up the hill and all of them except Johnson are trying to catch their breath. The Ape is
drinking from a can of lager he found in the fridge and, as much as I would love to get drunk and forget all of this, I remain sitting huddled and numb on the small garden wall. Johnson comes over
and sits beside me. Carrie makes as if to go inside Lucas’s house but the Ape bars her way.
‘You don’t want to do that,’ he says.
‘Is he really dead?’ she asks.
‘Yep.’
‘You’re absolutely sure?’
‘Take a look but you won’t like it.’
Carrie sucks in air and turns away as GG sits down on the wall.
‘He was wearing his football kit,’ I tell them quietly.
‘I love that colour,’ says GG. ‘It’s like sunshine.’ But he’s speaking quietly for once, without innuendo.
‘We got him down, put a blanket over him. There was a note.’ I peel it out of my pocket and hand it to Johnson who reads it and then hands it to Billie who has sat down next to him,
which seems to be her preferred place now. She reads it and then hands it to GG.
‘He gave up?’ she says to no one in particular. ‘Lucas Lopez gave up.’ Her words drift away on the breeze and no one speaks for a good five minutes.
‘I didn’t really know him,’ says Billie eventually.
‘I heard he had scouts from Arsenal looking at him,’ Carrie adds. ‘He could’ve gone places.’ Her voice sounds so much softer than usual.
‘What are we going to do? With Lucas. I mean with Lucas’s body,’ GG asks.
‘Bury him?’ Johnson asks.
‘Maybe it’s best just to leave him,’ Billie says quietly.
‘What, just lying in his kitchen?’ Carrie asks.
‘We can’t drag him around with us,’ says GG.
‘We need to find the Moth,’ I say, getting to my feet. ‘We can’t have him doing the same thing.’
‘That’s it? We just walk away?’ Carrie gets in my way. ‘Leave Lucas to rot?’
‘Tell you what, you stay here with him.’ I’m getting sick of Carrie. ‘If you’re that worried, go lie down with Lucas, keep him company.’ I push past her and
carry on walking. The Ape sees me go and jogs to catch up.
‘Where we going now?’
‘To find the Moth.’
The Ape and I head off back down the steep hill that leads into town. I think that if I keep on moving then none of what is happening will actually ever catch up with me or sink in. I will
always be one step ahead of this nightmare.
I hear Johnson call to the others. ‘Rev’s right, let’s go.’
I don’t need to turn around to know that they’ve listened to him and are following us down the hill. I make myself believe that Johnson is watching me, that he has his eyes on me the
whole way into town. It gives me the smallest of comforts.
No one speaks as we head into town. We troop back to the high street, looking around, checking for any sign of life, but the shops remain empty and even though the sun is
starting to heat up the morning, I can’t shake the chill that’s trapped inside me.
Billie sniffles, wipes her nose and eyes with a hanky, then sniffles some more. Johnson has his arm around her shoulders for comfort. ‘Sorry, I’m usually tougher than this,’
she says.
GG is still in his own little world of shock and has taken to changing the ringtones on his pink smartphone. ‘So much choice, so little time,’ he says quietly to no one in
particular. His campness is fading away by the minute.
‘I spoke to him once. Lucas. We ended up on a bus together. Nowhere else to sit so he slid in beside me,’ Carrie says. ‘I can’t remember what we talked about but I
remember one thing, he was interested in buildings. He said he could fall back on a career in architecture if football didn’t work out.’
The Ape sticks close to me, his eyes scanning for danger.
‘I could build a house,’ he says.
‘You reckon?’
‘Yeah. Easy.’
‘People! Hey! People!’ A voice echoes up and down the high street and we come to a sudden, lurching stop.
The Ape looks up to the sky.
‘What are you doing?’ Johnson asks him.
‘I heard a voice.’
‘We all heard a voice,’ I say.
‘And it’s not coming from the sky,’ says Carrie.
‘HEY!!! IT’S ME!!!’
We turn and try to work out where the voice is coming from.
‘The alleyway.’
We look in the direction of a tiny alleyway that you would barely know is there. It’s sandwiched between a shoe shop and a gift and card shop.
‘Hey!’ the voice calls again.
‘It could be a trick, to make us go into the alley,’ warns Billie.
‘Why would anyone do that?’ Carrie twists her mouth into a cynical grin. ‘I mean it’s not much of a trick, is it?’
‘It’s me!’ the voice yells. ‘Tim!’ The voice sounds exasperated. ‘I was with you in detention!’
‘Moth?’ I call.
‘Yes!’ The voice sounds relieved. ‘It’s me! The Moth.’
‘So come on out!’ the Ape yells.
‘I can’t.’
‘Told you it was a trick.’ Billie looks quietly vindicated.
‘Batteries are dead on my chair.’
‘Maybe not.’ Billie shrugs.
‘Wheel yourself out,’ orders Johnson.
‘Have you any idea how much this thing weighs? I’ve got the arms of an old lady.’
The Ape edges towards the alley. We wait an age while he weighs up whatever is lurking in there. It’s the classroom all over again.
‘Well??’ Carrie snaps.
‘Yeah,’ he finally shouts. ‘It’s him!’
We find the Moth sitting trapped in his dead wheelchair. He beams at us as if we are long lost friends.
‘I thought I was trapped here forever.’
‘Ugh!’ The Ape cups his face with his hand. ‘Ugh! Yuck!’ He turns away and fakes some big retching sounds. ‘He stinks. We should’ve kept on
walking.’
The Moth blushes. ‘Yeah, well I’ve been stuck here all night.’
‘He’s wet himself.’ Carrie points to his stained trousers and the drying puddle on his chair.
‘What was I meant to do?’ The Moth looks hurt and embarrassed. ‘I couldn’t move. I went up and down looking for a sign of life until the battery died on me.’
‘That is serious stench.’ The Ape backs out of the alleyway.
‘I was in a panic.’ The Moth is doing his best to convince us, but he really hasn’t any need to – Carrie and the Ape are just being ridiculous. It’s not like he had
a choice.
‘That’s still no excuse, Hawkings,’ Carrie says, clearly trying to reach some high moral ground.
‘I’d like to see the state you’d be in if you were stuck in an alley for a night on your own. Actually. Correction. I wouldn’t because it would be too gross,’ I
tell Carrie.
‘Where is everyone?’ he asks us, half hoping we will forget about the smell.
‘Maybe you drove them away with that stink,’ gripes Carrie.
‘We need to get you charged up.’ Johnson takes a grip on the Moth’s wheelchair.
‘And decontaminated,’ adds Carrie.
‘Does that mean one of us has to dress him?’ GG looks excited, returning to his old self. ‘Can I choose the clothes? Say yes, go on, say yes to GG.’
‘I can do that myself. But I could really do with something to eat and drink.’
‘So you can wet yourself some more?’ Carrie says and totters away on her impractical high heels.
Johnson manoeuvres Moth’s wheelchair out of the alley while the Moth fires questions at us.
‘Is this all there is? Just you lot?’
‘We think it’s just everyone who was in detention yesterday,’ I offer.
‘So where’s Lucas?’
We all fall silent. I doubt any of us have ever had to break the news of someone’s death before. I certainly haven’t. The closest I’ve ever been to it was when my mum told me
my dad had upped and left us.
‘I know where he lives, if that helps.’
The Moth can sense our hesitation.
‘It’s not too far from here.’
‘Yeah uh – we went there,’ Johnson says finally.
‘Wasn’t he in?’
‘Yeah. He was in,’ Johnson says.
‘So where is he?’
Again we fall silent. Johnson is searching for the right words.
‘Thing is—’
‘He topped himself.’ The Ape wades in with his horrendous lack of tact.
‘What!?’ The Moth’s mouth drops open. ‘No. That’s a joke, right?’
‘We didn’t find him in time,’ I say, fighting a sadness that keeps creeping up on me. ‘He thought he was all alone.’
‘That’s . . . That’s not possible,’ says the Moth, rocked to the core. ‘It’s not. No way. You’ve got to take me to him.’
‘It’s too late,’ says Billie.
Tears well in the Moth’s eyes as Johnson takes the note Lucas left from his pocket and hands it gently to the Moth. ‘He left this.’
The Moth takes the note, but his hand is trembling so much he can’t hold it still enough to read. Johnson lays a hand on the Moth’s wrist, steadying him.
We wait in respectful silence for the Moth to read the note. Tears roll down his cheeks and he keeps wiping them away before they spill onto the note.
‘Lucas,’ the Moth says to no one in particular. He then remembers his phone and shows us that it’s dead, out of battery. ‘I would’ve called him. I would
have.’ He’s now thinking we’re going to blame him in some way.
‘It’s not your fault,’ Johnson tells him.
‘It’s no one’s,’ I add.
Moth reads the note again, as if he’s missed something vital, a clue or a hint that would prove his best friend hasn’t taken his life.
‘Why would he . . .?’ The Moth is bewildered and lost. ‘I mean . . . No. No this can’t be. No . . .’
‘Uh, hello, but who is that?’ Billie says.
I turn to where she’s pointing and literally stop breathing.