Shoulda Been A Cowboy (36 page)

“
Before you say a word, understand this, I won't
hurt him. I won't berate him. But it's time he learns how
things are gonna go around here. It needs to come from me, not you,
so I'd appreciate it if you'd give us some time.”

Cam left her staring after him. She thought she'd
wanted him involved with Anton on a deeper level. Now she wasn't
so sure.

 

“
Let's head over to the corral.”

“
I'm in trouble, huh,” Anton said
quietly.

“
Yep.”

Even Gracie was subdued as they traipsed along. When
they reached the fence, Anton blurted, “Didja bring me out here
so Domini won't see you whippin' me?”

Cam scowled at the kid. “I'm not gonna whip
you.”

“
You're not?”

“
No. When I said I won't tolerate hitting in
my house, I meant for everyone. Including me.”

“
Oh.”

“
Look. I ain't gonna pretend to know what
you were thinking when you saw me and Domini in the kitchen. It was a
private moment between a husband and wife you misunderstood and I'll
leave it that.”

Silence.

“
Now you wanna tell me what's really goin'
on with you?”

More silence.

Shit. Cam had no idea how to do this. How did he get the
kid to talk? About what? Or did he start right in on the lecture?
Just as he was about to give up and detail specific punishment, Anton
spoke so softly Cam struggled to hear it.

“
He used to come into the kitchen when she was
cooking and pull her hair. Then he'd take her by the hair into
the bathroom or the bedroom. I heard her cry. Even when I put the
pillow over my head I still heard her.”

Cam withheld a wince. He'd had his hand in
Domini's hair, no wonder Anton freaked out, it probably flashed
him right back to those bad memories.

“
He hurt her, my mom.”

Interesting that Anton never said
Dad
or
Rex
, only
he
or
him
. “I
know.”

“
If you knew then why didn't you stop him?”
he demanded. “You're the police! You're supposed to
help people.”

Goddamn if that comment didn't knock the fight
right out of him. “We tried. And I don't understand
either, because I'm sure she didn't like him hurting
her.”

“
She didn't.” Anton kicked a clump of
dirt through the bottom of the fence and Gracie whined. “So why
was she happy he was coming around again?”

Because that's how the cycle of abuse works.
“I don't know. When he was with her, was he…pulling
her hair and stuff?”

Anton shook his head.

“
How long had he been coming around?”

“
Since Valentine's Day when he brought her
flowers,” Anton sneered.

So Nadia had lasted a whole two months after Domini
moved out before she hooked up with her ex.

“
Mom made me go to my room when he came over.”

“
Every time?”

“
Uh-huh.”

Cam frowned. Why wouldn't Rex want anything to do
with his son?

Because Rex didn't need to win Anton over; Rex
needed to win Nadia over. And if Rex was ignoring the kid, then in
Nadia's frame of mind, that probably meant Anton was safe. Or
if parenting issues with the kid had been a problem before, Rex
ignoring Anton would've been some sick kind of proof that he'd
changed.

Fucked up. But most domestic abuse cases were.

“
I hate him.”

His focus snapped back. “Excuse me?”

“
I hate him more now because he's the reason
she's dead.”

“
Anton—”

“
Don't you get it? If she hadn't been
with him on a stupid date, she'd be alive, I know it.”

Cam understood the logic, he understood the rage. He
just didn't know how to help the kid see the world didn't
work that way. And he sure didn't tell him that Nadia had been
driving.

“
It's his fault!”

He thought Anton was gearing up to let rage fly again,
but the boy started crying so hard his narrow shoulders shook. He
babbled and snuffled like Cam'd never seen from the surly kid.

A kid Domini claimed had rarely been surly.

Cam didn't need a detective's shield to
realize something was up. Something that didn't have a damn
thing to do with him and Domini. Something had gone down with his
folks. Something big that little Anton had been keeping to himself.
Cam put his hand on Anton's back, unsure what to do, and
offered the kid a reassuring pat.

Which was the signal Anton needed to launch himself at
Cam.

He buried his face in Cam's stomach, wrapped his
thin arms around his waist and sobbed.

Jesus. Cam's emotions shifted from fear to resolve
back to fear. What if he and Domini didn't have the skills to
help Anton deal with his grief and guilt and abuse issues? Especially
when they both had plenty of their own issues to work through?

The sobs abated. Cam pushed the thick blonde hair from
Anton's damp forehead. “So, sport, you wanna tell me what
really happened?”

Anton vehemently shook his head. “You'll
think I'm bad.”

“
No, I won't.”

The kid's internal debate lasted barely fifteen
seconds. “When my mom left me at Domini's, I was mad at
her about him. I wouldn't kiss her goodbye when I got out of
the car. I wouldn't hug her either. And now I'll never
get the chance to hug her or kiss her again! Or tell her I'm
sorry and I didn't mean it!”

Cam's heart ripped in two. The burden Anton
carried was heavy for anyone, but for a confused seven-year-old kid
it probably felt like the end of the world. In some ways, it had been
the end of his world as he'd known it. No wonder he'd
been acting out—he'd been reaching out. “Have you
talked to anyone else about what happened? Maybe your teacher?”

“
No.”

“
Why not Domini?”

“
Because I don't want her to think I'm
bad.”

“
But it doesn't matter if
I
think you're bad?”

“
You already think I'm bad. You were mad
about Gracie. You don't talk to me unless I say something to
hurt Domini's feelings and then you get mad at me. You think
I'm a pig and you get mad at me when your house is a mess.”

Dammit. Cam's cheeks burned with pure shame. Why
did he think the kid wouldn't notice or care about his distant
behavior? Had Domini noticed?

Yes.

Cam would be wise to remember the only reason Domini had
agreed to marry him…was standing right in front of him sobbing
his heart out. If Cam couldn't come to terms with Anton, he'd
lose Domini.

You deserve to lose her. You took advantage of her.
She never wanted the marriage or you. She just wanted Anton.

“
Sorry I hit you and stuff,” Anton said
quietly, interrupting Cam's derisive thoughts. “I thought
it was just like before. With him.”

“
I know. Apology accepted, okay?”

“
Okay.”

“
Look, sport, maybe I have been ignoring you. It
ain't because I think you're bad, it's just…well,
I haven't spent a lot of time with kids.”

“
What about Ky?”

“
Sure, my brothers and cousins have kids, but
bein' around them for a couple of hours once a month isn't
like living with them. When I was growing up, my dad was either
yelling at me or ignoring me. So maybe I thought ignoring you was
better than yelling, but now I can see that isn't any better.”

“
What did your dad yell at you about?”

“
Mostly about not getting my chores done.”

“
Do you really got a fake leg?”

For once Cam didn't mind the abrupt subject
change. “Yep.”

“
Huh.”

Cam half-expected him to ask to see it.

“
There's a kid at my school that gots a fake
arm.” Anton squinted at Cam's leg. “But he doesn't
hide it. Why do you hide yours?”

Because I'm embarrassed
.
“Because it makes people uncomfortable. And because I'm a
cop, everyone is already on edge around me, so it's easier not
to draw attention to it.”

“
Jeffrey doesn't care. He just whips it off
in class. He scares the girls because it grosses them out.”

Yeah, it'd probably gross them out long past
second grade.

“
One time, he hit Doug in the butt with it. He got
sent to the principal's office for that.”

“
I imagine so.”

“
He said his dad doesn't whip him anymore
'cause he feels sorry for him. When you were bad as a kid, did
your dad whip you?”

“
Nope. I didn't lose my leg until a couple
years ago. Besides, there were a lot of other shitty things he could
make us do to get his point across that didn't involve smacking
us.”

“
Like what?”

“
Like the same kind of consequences I'm
gonna give you for whaling on me today.”

Anton looked afraid again.

“
You're on dog doo-doo duty, which means
you're gonna pick up all of Gracie's dog crap in the
backyard and haul it to the hole behind that big tree over there.”
Cam pointed to a half-dead elm. “I ain't talking about it
bein' a one time thing, neither.”

“
Really? Like chores I hafta do all the time?”

Why did the kid sound so…happy about doing
chores? “Yeah, why?”

“
Kids at school talk about having to do chores
when they get home.”

“
Plenty of chores around here.”

Anton smiled sweetly, maybe for the first time since Cam
had known him. “I can do chores. Sometimes I help Domini sweep
up at Dewey's.”

“
You'll be on broom detail then. As for your
other consequence, I'm gonna hafta take the TV outta your
room.”

“
Oh, man.” Anton's shoulders slumped.
“Really?”

“
Really. When you come home from school you should
be doin' your homework, or chores, or outside playin'
with Gracie.”

Gracie barked and they both looked up to see Domini
walking toward them.

“
Don't tell her about what I said about my
mom.”

“
I won't. It'll be our secret. But I
think you probably should tell her.”

Anton nodded.

“
Hey guys. You've been out here awhile. Is
everything all right?”

“
Yeah, except I'm getting my TV taken away,”
Anton said glumly. “And I hafta do chores every day.”

“
That sounds fair,” she said cautiously.
Domini gazed at Anton with such softness and sweetness Cam was a
little jealous. She loved the kid. She was good to him. Good for him.

“
Maybe you should get a head start on chores by
clearing a path in your room for when we haul the TV out,” she
suggested.

“
All right.” Anton tapped his leg. “Gracie.
Come.” Boy and dog tore off.

Domini nestled her face in Cam's neck. “I'm
sorry.”

“
For?”

“
For you having to deal with that. Not only him
hitting you, but his anger.”

“
Which is entirely justified.” He clasped
his hands together on her lower back, bringing her closer.

“
It's not the first time he's been
that upset, but I've always been able to calm him down.”

Guilt socked him in the gut. Domini shouldn't have
to deal with Anton's issues alone. “Who calms you down?”

“
You. When you're not heating me up.”

Cam kissed the top of her head, working his way to her
succulent mouth.

The unhurried kiss soothed rather than inflamed.

Domini shivered and he forced his lips from hers. “It's
getting chilly. We should go in. Supper's done anyway.”

“
Mmm. Think we can pick up where we left off after
he goes to bed?”

“
If I can stay awake. I'm so tired lately.”

“
I've got plenty of ideas on how to keep you
up,” he murmured.

“
Isn't that supposed to be my line?”

“
Smarty. Just for that, I think I'll drag
out the nipple clamps tonight.”