Shoulda Been A Cowboy (16 page)

This go around wasn't sweet and lazy. It was an
intense pounding, thrusting, clash of bodies. Of wills. Cam made
Domini come twice before he followed suit in a blinding rush of
pleasure that left him exhausted and lightheaded.

Then Domini's mouth searched for his, kissing him
so sweetly, but with such underlying hunger that Cam knew he'd
take her at least one more time before dawn broke.

“
I'd say you fucked me so thoroughly that I
can't feel my legs,” Domini muttered, “but that
seems sort of unfair to you.”

He chuckled. “Here I thought you were shy.”

“
Oh, I'm plenty shy. Look how long it took
me to work up the courage to approach you. Almost two years.”

“
But offering yourself up to me any way I wanted
was a great icebreaker, princess.”

He flopped onto his back and sighed. He hadn't
felt this good, this sated, this relaxed…since before his
injury. Maybe not ever.

Domini rolled to her side and propped her head on her
elbow. “Will you tell me about your injury and recovery?”

Cam rarely talked about his war experiences. Mostly
because people who hadn't lived it wouldn't understand
it. But with Domini growing up in a turbulent eastern-bloc country,
she wasn't innocent to the harsh reality of the world outside
the U.S. borders.

“
It was a late patrol in Baghdad. I was teaching
one of the new kids protocol for an unsecured urban area when a bomb
went off in front of us. We stopped and got out, only to have another
detonation behind us. The dirt and debris cut us off from the rest of
the caravan. Before we'd gotten too far off the road, I heard
that distinctive whistling noise that meant someone had launched a
rocket. I grabbed the kid, Jenks, and we hit the ground. But not fast
enough. The jeep exploded behind us.

“
It's kind of blurry after that. The
explosion knocked us both out. When I came to, I had a big chunk of
metal embedded in my left calf. It was bleeding, but I knew if I
tried to pull it out, I'd bleed out, so I left it in. I
couldn't hear, I could barely see, but I knew there was still
fighting going on all around us. I also knew we were sitting ducks
after the ambush. We limped our way off the road into an abandoned
building, figuring we'd sit tight until the fighting died down
and we could reestablish radio contact.

“
No one realized we were missing until they did a
head count at the base later that night. By then the gates were
locked up and they couldn't come back looking for us. Then a
three day sandstorm hit that kept us cut off from any rescue attempt.
Which was good and bad—the Iraqis weren't able to find us
any more than the patrols were.

“
Jenks and I stayed put. It wasn't like I
could walk anywhere with a big hunk of metal sticking out of my leg,
even though it was mostly numb. Once we realized the storm had ended
I told Jenks to leave me because he only had surface injuries, but he
wouldn't. Then a goddamn rainstorm hit, which is how he managed
to get water for us when we didn't have food. The week of
unscheduled leave was a gritty haze of pain.”

“
How'd they find you?”

“
My buddy, Brock, wouldn't give up on
finding me—either dead or alive. Once the storms passed, he was
out looking discreetly, randomly checking through the buildings in
the area, so as not tip off anyone there were a couple of American
army soldiers MIA. He stumbled across us after we'd been gone
for six days. Shrapnel wounds coupled with being a pint or so low on
blood, a low body temp and I was in a coma when the medics got a hold
of me. When I woke up four days later, I found out they'd
removed my lower left leg below the knee, as well as my pulverized
left pinky.” He shuddered. “I still have goddamn
nightmares about that.”

“
I'll bet.” Her gaze moved to his
stump. “But you don't have a knee.”

“
They got me stabilized, called my family, and put
me on a plane to the amputee specialist docs at Walter Reed as soon
as possible. I was only there a couple of days before another
infection set in. The docs decided it'd be better in the long
run to remove my knee joint entirely.”

“
Did you have a say in it?”

“
I was so doped up and in so much pain that I
didn't give a shit.” And he was seriously pissed off
about the wrong turn his life had taken. At first he'd refused
to talk to anyone. Then he went a step further and denied all access
to him. No visitors. Period. Cam knew it'd hurt his family, but
at the time he didn't give a rat's ass. He wanted to be
left the hell alone.

But his sister wouldn't accept his decree. She'd
charmed her way into Ward 57 at Walter Reed Hospital and chewed him
out, refusing to leave until he made some decisions about his life.

Talk about being yanked up by his bootstraps. At the
time, he'd almost hated her.

Now Cam admitted he wouldn't be where he was if
not for Keely. If she'd shown up bawling her eyes out and
wringing her hands, he'd've kicked her to the curb
without apology. Her grim determination made him face the harsh
realities. His life as a soldier was over. Period. He was
handicapped. Period. So in Keely's mind, that meant the sooner
he learned to live with his disability, the sooner he'd be able
to live a better life.

Keely rented an apartment for them in Cheyenne after
he'd been discharged from Walter Reed and his medical records
transferred to the VA hospital. She ran interference with their
family. She dealt with his doctor appointments, his army discharge
paperwork, his VA benefits. And she personally oversaw his physical
therapy, including convincing a prosthetic specialist from Denver to
offer Cam a second opinion. She pushed him until they both broke
down. She was there when he took his first steps on his new
prosthesis. She argued with the doctors about the fit issues when he
probably would've walked away and suffered in silence. She gave
up six months of her life for him and never once complained. Never
once did she throw her sacrifice in his face. It humbled him.

“
Cam? You okay?”

“
Yeah.” He ran his hand down her body,
pleased when her skin broke out in goose bumps. “It's
late. We should probably try to get some sleep.”

“
True. I'll get the lights.”

The bed dipped and Domini snuggled into his right side,
forcing him to wrap his arms around her. Not that he minded. He
couldn't remember the last time he'd held a woman in his
arms all night.

Domini was quiet, but it was a purposeful quiet.

“
What are you thinking?”

“
It's almost more intimate to share a bed
with someone than it is to have sex, isn't it? Because when
you're asleep you're vulnerable. It's back to that
trust thing.”

Cam kissed her forehead. “Sleep. You're safe
with me.”

“
Maybe I wasn't talking about me, Cam.”

How the hell was he supposed to sleep now?

 

 

The scream woke him. Disoriented, Cam realized it'd
come from him.

Shit.

Not now. Please. Not now.

Too late. His body was covered in sweat, yet he trembled
so violently with cold that the mattress shook.

“
Cam? What's wrong?”

Rather than look even more weak, he turned on his side,
away from her and shivered like a wet dog. Squeezing his eyes tight
didn't stop the images from flashing in his mind. Fuck. He
hated this nightmare shit. He kept waiting for it to go away and it
never did.

“
Ssh. It's okay. I'm here.” She
stroked his back in silence. Supporting him. Calming him. Soothing
him.

Pink and orange rays lightened the bedroom windows as
the sun rose. Finally he quit shaking, but he hid his tearstained
face from her.

“
If you don't want to tell me I'll
understand. But if you do want to talk about it, remember I'm
not going anywhere, Cam. Nothing you can say will make me leave you
like this. I'll be right here if you need me. For as long as
you need me.”

It wasn't like her to push and it wasn't
like him to blurt out every horrid fucking detail, yet he found
himself doing just that. “I was back there, helpless, knowing
what was coming but unable to stop it from happening.”

“
Stop what?”

Say the words. Say them out loud.

“
The amputation. I woke up in the hospital and the
docs said my leg was gone. But I felt it. I knew it was there but no
one would listen to me. They called it phantom limb pain but they
were all a bunch of fucking liars. I fought so hard to get out of
that goddamned hospital bed. I couldn't breathe and when I
finally sucked air in, all I could smell was dirty flesh and blood
and antiseptic. Then the nurse put me in restraints. That much is
true. That really happened when I woke up. But then the
dream…changes.

“
I'm lost, walking on a road in Iraq, the
same road where the RPG hit us. I'm wearing my new leg and
a…Jeep pulls up behind me. Full of American soldiers. I'm
relieved to see them until I notice they're all holding
chainsaws.

“
They knock me to the dirt. One guy puts his boot
on my chest to hold me down. The others…” Cam swallowed.
“They start to cut off my other leg. Then they cut off both my
arms. I can feel every fucking inch of that chainsaw blade digging
into my skin and slicing through the bone. I'm screaming. Not
only can I see my blood leaving puddles where my limbs used to be, I
smell it. I smell the sand and the heat and my own blood and the
exhaust from the Jeep as they drive off and leave me there to die.
That's when I always wake up.”

Domini tugged on his shoulder until he rolled to his
back. The horror and sympathy—not pity—in her eyes
punched him in the gut. She wiped the beads of sweat from his brow,
the tears from his eyes and traced the curve of his jaw. “What
can I do?”

He whispered, “Make it go away. Please, just help
me forget.”

She fell back to the mattress and attempted to yank him
on top of her, apparently forgetting half his ability to balance was
propped against the chair.

“
Be with me now. Like this. There's nobody
in the world but us, Cam. You're safe with me.”

The movement of her body was so sweetly urgent, so
loving and caring that Cam aligned his cock and plunged into her
without preamble. “Hold on to the headboard. Don't let
go.”

When Domini arched back for it, Cam anchored his foot
against the footboard and fucked her so hard the headboard slammed
into the wall. Over and over. And since he was sprouting morning
wood, he felt as if he could fuck her for hours. Fuck her until she
passed out. Fuck her until he forgot every shitty thing in the world
but her.

The first orgasm rippled through her quickly. He sank
his teeth into the delicate sweep of her neck and bit down on the
magic spot that sent her spiraling into a second orgasm.

“
Cam.”

“
I know, baby. Again. Come for me again.”

“
This was supposed to be for you.”

“
It is for me. Being with you like this is the
best thing that's happened to me in a long time.”

“
Such a sweet-talking soldier.”

“
Only for you.” His hair was damp, as were
the sheets as their bodies slapped together. The sexiest, neediest
sounds tumbled from her perfect lips.

When she started to bear down on him during her third
orgasm, Cam rammed into her and let her swollen, pulsing pussy
muscles milk him of every last drop of seed. Milk every single care
in the world clean away.

Eventually their breathing returned to normal. Domini's
hands traced the contour of his spine. “Better?”

He smiled against her neck and scattered kisses across
her shoulders, down to her breasts and back up to her mouth. “Much.
Thank you.” He breathed in the scent of her, let himself absorb
her softness and strength.

“
My pleasure.”

He pushed up on his palms. “I've got to get
ready for work.”

A sneaky smile crossed her face.

“
What?”

“
Need some help getting a leg up on your day?”

“
Har har.” He smooched her nose, secretly
thrilled that she was already comfortable enough to tease him…and
he was comfortable enough to take it. “Just for that comment, I
expect breakfast.” He kissed her nose again. “A big
breakfast. Pancakes. Eggs.” One last kiss. “And you will
hand feed me while you're nekkid.”

“
Is that an order?”

“
Yep.”

“
Then I'd better get cracking, huh?”

Chapter Nine

Cam dropped Domini off in the alley behind her apartment
with a promise he'd see her later.