Shuffle (Ruby Riot #2) (17 page)

The pressure builds as my body begs me to give in and step over the edge, but that’s not what I want. I push myself up onto my elbows, and attempt to shift away from Will; but he holds my legs so I can’t move, pushing his tongue inside me.

“Will,” I say, but the word is barely audible. I pull against his strength, turned on by his holding me down and trusting he’ll stop if I ask. “Will!”

He breaks from his attention and kisses his way back along my body toward my face. “Yes? No? Don’t like?”

He trembles too holding himself back, and I tangle my legs with his, and swipe my tongue against his lips. “Kiss me.”

I give myself over to how we’re wound together, hearts thumping in unison as our bodies meld. His hard length presses against me, and I curl my hand around it, stroking while I kiss Will with the desperate need to take the last step with him.

“Will. I want this.”

“Two secs.” Will breaks away and my stomach clenches as I wait for him. When he looks down at me, rolling the condom along his length, there’s more than the lust I expected in his eyes; there’s something unguarded almost reverential. Will swallows. “You have no idea how long I’ve fantasised about doing this.”

“Same.”

We wrap together on the bed again and the tip of him slides against my damp heat, intensifying the ache. Slowly, Will edges inside me and his eyes remain on mine as he pulls himself away again. I shift to grip him with my legs, to stop him pulling back completely and move against his hips, the need overriding any control.

Will tenses and he looks down at me, mouth parted. “Jesus, Fleur, I’m sorry.”

I stop. No. He can’t change his mind. “What? What’s wrong?”

Will mouth covers mine, and he pushes his tongue into my mouth, sudden and surprising. This passionate and possessive man lets go of the control that shook through his body earlier, as he flexes his hips and pushes into me again and again, the intensity overwhelming me. Will slides a hand around my back and pulls me upwards, mouth closing around my nipple again. He flicks and sucks with his tongue, and the overload of sensation has me match his movements, every one bringing me closer to the release I’m aching for. But I want to stay like this with Will for as long as possible.

My breath shallows, and I close my eyes as I spiral higher and higher, losing sight of everything but his hands and mouth on me.

“Fleur. Look at me.”

My eyelids flutter open and I look straight into the eyes of the man who feels part of me and more than physically. The thread between our hearts and souls tightens and the reality hits. He’s mine. I’m his. The moment binds us to an unknown future, and one I now want with Will more than anything before. Whatever happens, a part of me will always be his.

He slows and circles his hips against me, placing a hand between us and pressing against my clit. One touch and I’m lost, unable to hold on any longer. I cry out, arc toward him as Will focuses on my face, the smile of a man who holds power over me. I grab his hand, move his fingers away; I need him against me, consuming me. He isn’t far behind, his urgency growing again as he fills and stretches me, hitting a spot that triggers a new surge of pleasure.

Eyes closed, I ride the wave building again and Will comes, pushing himself hard one last time and swearing loudly. We grip each other, kissing, touching, neither wanting to move as the intensity binds us and the pleasure pulses through. In this moment, I’m suddenly aware I hold an equal power over Will.

He drops himself onto me, continuing to cover me in kisses. “You’re amazing. Absolutely, fucking amazing.”

I nip his arm with my teeth. “
That
was amazing.”

“Wish I hadn’t waited.” Will rolls onto his back and pulls me to him. “Why did I say no before?”

I place my lips on his. “Because some things are worth waiting for.”

“Truth.” His arms tighten around me. “Can I call you my girl now?”

“If sex doesn’t make me your girl, I don’t know what else does.”

Will’s quiet for a few moments. “Takes more than giving your body to somebody, Fleur.”

I prop myself up and look down at Will. “I’m your girl, if you’re my guy.”

His eyes tell me everything I need to know and confirm the truth of his next words. “You know I am. I told you I love you.”

“Yes.”

“Hasn’t helped with the heartburn though.” Will grins and I flick his nose.

“Maybe see a doctor.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

“You’re odd, Will Campbell.”

He winds his fingers around my hair and kisses me gently. “And that’s what makes me irresistible. Well, that and my smoking hot body.”

“I knew the rock star ego was still in there.”

“Oh, yeah.” He drags me onto his chest and holds my head for another of his toe-curling kisses.

When Will returns from the bathroom, and drags the sheets over our cooling bodies, I press my face against his damp skin. My heart refuses to slow the beat, my body alight still as I curl around him.

Will runs his fingers along my arm, rhythmic and soothing. “With you, everything’s different.”

“Mmm?” I’m drowsy, luxuriating in the thought of falling asleep in Will’s arms.

“Whenever I’m alone with you, I feel as if I’m in the place I should be.”

“In my bed?”

He pokes me. “Anywhere I’m with you, Fleur. And when I’m not with you, you’re with me.”

“You’re not making sense.” I rub my nose against Will’s chest before placing my lips on his salty tasting skin.

“Does being in love ever make sense?

“I guess not.” I drift away again, listening to the thrum of his heart, the warmth of his words spreading through.

Wills interrupts my dozing. “I know you think I’ll forget you if Ruby Riot become as famous as Blue Phoenix –”

“When you do.”

He stops stroking my arm and laughs softly. “Okay.
When
. But I won’t forget you. Ever.”

I shift and hook a leg over his. Will holds me as we fit together, two jigsaw pieces people think shouldn’t match. “Same. Stop talking now. I’m tired. It’s 2 a.m.”

“Jesus, you’re funny. Some nights I stay up until dawn.”

“I’m a boring nerd, remember?”

“Only because that’s what you want people to think.”

I yawn. “Will, deep and meaningful has a place. Not now.”

“Man, you’re hilarious.” He scoots down until his lips almost touch mine. “What if I want to keep you up until dawn too?”

Sleep suddenly slips into the back of my mind.

Chapter Thirty-One

FLEUR

I’m aware of Will climbing out of bed; the sound of him dressing filters into my semi-conscious state. I curl up and bury my face into the duvet, where Will’s scent lingers. We’ve slept until late morning and, as promised, the sun rose as I drifted to sleep in Will’s arms.

“Sorry,” he whispers and strokes my hair from my face. “I have to go home and change before rehearsals. If I’m late Princess Jax will lose his shit.”

“That’s okay,” I murmur and focus on him through blurry eyes.

“Are you coming to the gig tonight?”

“Oh. Forgot about that. I’m not sure.”

“Why not?”

“You’ll be busy playing, not exactly a night out for us. We can catch up tomorrow.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yeah.”

“What?”

Will lies next to me again and pulls me closer, the return of his warmth lulling me towards sleep. “Be part of this. You’re in my life; I don’t want Ruby Riot Will to be different to your Will.”

“Both Wills are the same to me. Really, I’m don’t want to go.” I yawn. “Sorry.”

“Wait backstage. We can do something later.”

“Backstage? I definitely don’t know whether I want to do that.” Nate. Jax. Ruby. People a world away from mine.

“Well, think about it.” I wriggle as he smothers my face in kisses. “I want you there.”

I push him away and pull the duvet over my head. “Fine! But I’m tired after last night.”

Will pulls the duvet down and rests his lips on my forehead before placing the soft material back over me. I snuggle back down; the house is cold and I’m not keen on getting out of bed yet. When I hear my bedroom door close, I’m surprised Will never said goodbye.

Half asleep, I’m aware of movement in the room again. I open an eye when somebody sits on the bed and takes hold of my hand.

“What are you doing?” I ask as Will writes something on my palm.

He doesn’t respond and, too tired to move, I allow him. “In case you forget before I see you tonight.”

I pull my hand away with a loud sigh. “If I go.”

When I wake, Will has left with the part of my heart I gave to him last night. I attempt to push thoughts of us aside; I won’t be one of those girls who brood over a guy every minute of every day.

I catch sight of the words on my palm, written in thick black pen and realise how much of his he’s given in return.

‘I love you.’ 

****

I relent. Later that afternoon I shower; my body aches from my night with Will, and arousal streams back through me at the thoughts and images of us together. I soap my hands and guilt washes over me that I’m wiping away Will’s words.

Apart from I can’t.

I scrub at the words but they stare back at me. Black. Spiked. Will’s letters.

As I dress for the night, Will texts me with the time he’ll drop by to pick me up. I text him back.

I shake my head, body filling with the already building desire to be back with him. Will is away again next week, already our time is split between his future and mine, but I push away the thought. I’m going to live for now, and see what our future holds.

Chapter Thirty-Two

FLEUR

Ruby Riot plays an intimate venue tonight, the theatre a similar size to the last time I saw them. This time I’m more nervous because Will insists I join him backstage before the band performs. I’m unsure if I’m ready to become part of his entourage.

Talk about out of my depth.

When we arrive, Jax and Nate are lounging on the sofa, feet on the table drinking beer. I hover in the doorway until Will shoves me into the room. Jax looks up, the startling blue eyes arresting me as they did backstage last time. This man is a publicist’s dream, and judging by what Will’s told me about his ego, their nightmare too. Jax and the twins’ ability to broadcast their raw sexuality leads to a promise, girls fantasise over. A promise I can attest lives up to the hype.

Nate looks at Will’s fingers gripping mine, then away, and Jax lifts his bottle in salute. “Hey, Fleur! Will said you were joining us.”

“Hey.”

Nate mutters a hello too and stands to fetch another beer. “Want one?” he asks us.

“No. Thanks.”

Nate throws Will a beer. “Shame Tegan isn’t around or you could’ve watched with her. Someone to talk to.”

“She’s on her way. Just finished work,” says Jax.

I nod and brush my short dress into place. Why do I feel like I’m meeting Will’s parents?

“What do you think about the new album?” asks Nate.

“I like it.”

“Yeah? What’s your favourite track?”

“Consume,” I shoot back. He’s trying to catch me out. “I hope you’re playing that one tonight.”

“Probably. You staying all night?” asks Nate. “We might be busy later. Me and Will had plans.”

“I told you I was out with Fleur tonight.”

“Yeah, after we arranged the night at Blue Room.”

“You can still go.”

“She could come?” Then he looks at me. “Yeah, maybe not.”

“What does that mean?” Will asks.

Nate shrugs. “Nothing.”

“I’m gonna spend time with Fleur. We haven’t seen much of each other recently.”

“Sweet,” mutters Nate and stands.

He walks to the door and I step to one side as he says, “Don’t hold out on him. He won’t hang around. I know my brother better than you.”

I meet his eyes in challenge, now aware how people who know the twins well could tell them apart before the hairstyle change. Something in Nate’s demeanour is distinct. Subtle differences in his expression, how he holds himself.

“Will already changed himself for her!” calls Jax with a laugh. “Look at his hair.”

I glance at Will, expecting him to retort, but he rests against the wall, drinking.

As Nate leaves the room, Will follows.

****

WILL

“What’s your deal, man?” I call after my brother.

Nate halts and turns. “No idea what you mean.”

“Fleur. Why are you fucking rude to her all the time?”

“I’m not.”

“Bullshit.”

Nate scratches the corner of his eye. “I don’t think she’s good for you. You’ve nothing in common, and the way you wander around after her all starry-eyed is pathetic. You screwed her yet?”

“None of your business.”

Nate snorts. “That’s a no? Good luck. Even if she does, bet she won’t be enough for you. Has she ever seen a cock before?”

“That’s out of order, Nate. And what the hell does who I screw matter to you, as long as she’s not your girl?”

“I don’t have a girl.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Seriously, dude?” He waves his hand around. “This! One by one, you morons are falling into relationships that are bad for you! If she breaks your pathetic, love-struck heart, you won’t cope. Seen it before. That shit is a waste of energy.” He pauses. “This whatever you have with her doesn’t suit you.”

Realisation crashes through my irritation. “No, it doesn’t suit you.”

Nate makes a derisive noise. “I don’t give a fuck. Once the novelty is done with, she’ll find a squeaky-clean guy to settle down and have her beautiful children with. Someone like her won’t put up with someone like you.”

“My life. My problem.”

“Have you ever stopped to ask yourself the question though?” he asks.

Yeah, I have but why think hard about something? Let life happen. “Is this about Charlotte?”

“Don’t mention her fucking name.”

“I thought you were over her?”

“I am. I’m warning you not to get caught up in shit with girls and end up treated like crap.”

“You ended things with Charlotte, not her.”

“I had my reasons.” Nate’s mouth thins. “Enjoy girls, don’t stick to one. Believe me, life’s better this way.”

“I did, I tried. I’m happier with Fleur.”

“For now. I thought we were having fun together, man. Living the dream.”

“When we were at school, you pretty much kicked me to one side because you spent your whole life with Charlotte!”

“Like I said, I was stupid.”

“You were eighteen. We’re nearly twenty-two now. Get over this crap.”

“Whatever. Fleur hated you two months ago. One day she’ll wake up and realise how wrong you are for her.”

As Nate walks away, I chew my lip. Nate’s moodiness pisses me off and I’ve seen this before. He’s jealous because I have the shiny thing he wants. Not Fleur, but a loving relationship he denies he does. Since the day he and Charlotte broke up, Nate’s never been with a girl longer than five minutes. Sometimes literally.

When they were together, I couldn’t understand how he could spend so much time with Charlotte. We were seventeen and he already had his life full of music. Jax didn’t like her because she distracted him from the band; and at one point, Nate threatened to leave. I saw Jax’s point, Ruby Riot was becoming noticed around the time we left Oxford, and Nate’s distraction interfered.

By the time we left for London, it didn’t matter. Nate and Charlotte’s relationship ended after almost two years and he never mentioned her name again.

My teasing Nate about Charlotte has come full circle, as I have the brunt of his taunts over Fleur now. My teasing back then is also the reason he’s never told me what happened, and why we never discuss his dark days in the weeks that followed.