Shy Kinda Love (7 page)

I blink, trying to remember what I am supposed to be doing. “Um, how about you just let him go. He trusted you. You didn’t hurt him. I think we can call that a successful training session. What do you think?”

Isaac smiles, obviously very proud of himself. He removes the rope from Tanner’s neck, pets him one last time, then pushes on him gently, letting him know it’s okay to leave. This boy is a natural with horses. I think I may adopt him.

Knowing I can’t adopt, I suggest something I can do. “I would love for you to come back out one day this week. If you’d like.” I look between Isaac and Gemma, then go on. “I’m at a loss as to how to help this horse, but I think you may have some idea.” Now I give him a half-smile. “If you would be interested, I would love to have your assistance in working with Tanner.”

I can see that he is trying not to smile, which makes me want to smile, but I don’t. Isaac nods, so I look to Gemma, who is of course unable to keep from smiling. “I’ll see what I can work out. Maybe I can bring him back tomorrow,” she says.

Chapter 9

Monday morning brings the same thing for me: up at five-thirty to feed, a little work with Tanner, then back home around ten. The only difference is that now my roommates, and housemates, have class. So, as I exit my truck and enter the front door, I hear the boys’ door open. I look up and see Kade coming out of his apartment. I have an overwhelming desire to dive into his arms, and the shock of that thought causes me to flinch. Opting for the less mental approach, I just give him a small smile. Kade lifts his chin in the universal guy signal for hello, then turns back and says something to someone in his apartment. He has his backpack slung over his shoulder, and he continues to look inside his apartment.

Feeling as though he’s ignoring me, I mess with my keys, trying to find the one for the apartment. Nervous, I drop my keys and have to start the search again. I hear a very chipper “Good morning,” and turn to see Max standing in their door. Max also has his backpack, so they must both have a class this morning.

I respond with my own “Good morning,” then turn. I catch Kade watching me, but he looks away when our eyes meet.

I definitely think he is trying to ignore me. This is not the Kade I talked to at the bar, or the one that was sitting on my tailgate eating Captain’s Surprise.

“Hey, we’re doing pizza for lunch if you girls want to come over,” Max says, drawing my attention from Kade.

I smile. “Sure, that sounds great. Maybe us girls will make dinner for you guys tonight.” I love to cook, and I used to cook for Ryder all the time. I do cook for the girls, but honestly, guys are so much more appreciative of a good meal.

“I won’t pass that up,” Max says with a huge smile. We both shift our eyes to Kade, expecting some response, but he has turned and is walking out the door. Max shrugs, “Sorry, he’s not much of a morning person.”

I know that’s not true because I saw him at the asscrack of dawn the other day. I just nod and turn to my apartment, hoping Max can’t see how Kade’s cold shoulder affected me.

***

Later that night we’re preparing dinner for the guys. Gemma and I are cooking—Keegan never cooks, unless we all want to be down with food poisoning for a week. Kade didn’t come back to the apartment for the pizza lunch, which annoyed me. It annoyed me because I was disappointed, and I should not have been disappointed. Max said he met up with a friend, but I got the feeling it was more than that. I don’t want to look forward to seeing Kade tonight, either, so when the guys come through the door without Kade, I’m happy that I don’t have to deal with him.

Okay, that’s a complete lie. I’m even more pissed that he’s choosing to miss two meals with us… with me.

Adrian immediately wants to know, “What are you hot ladies cooking us equally hot men for dinner?”

Keegan rolls her eyes. “Well, those two hot girls,” she says, gesturing toward Gemma and I, “are cooking chicken parmesan for dinner. If any hot guys come by we would gladly allow them to join us for dinner.”

Adrian goes to the couch where Keegan is sitting and practically climbs on top of her. He puts his hands on either side of her face, and without hesitation leans in and gives her a very sloppy kiss. He pulls back, still holding her face. “I’ve missed that smart mouth of yours,” he says, before jumping up and walking away, as if he was not completely insane.

Keegan wipes her hands frantically across her mouth, then rolls her eyes, saying nothing. I go back to setting the table, wondering where the hell Kade is. Did I piss him off this weekend? Is he with his friend again? Is this friend a girl? Oh, shit, why didn’t I think of that before? Kade could have a girlfriend. Of course he could have a girlfriend.

Gemma breaks through my thoughts by finally asking, “Where’s Kade?”

Max, who is sitting at the table, offers little information. “At the library.”

I look up from the food I’m preparing, glancing over my shoulder to state, “It’s the first day of class.”

“You are correct. Have you not heard that Kade’s a complete nerd?” Adrian asks from over my other shoulder. He’s standing just behind me, chin almost on my shoulder, waiting for his plate to be handed to him. I swear he’s panting. The guy acts like he hasn’t had a meal in weeks, but I saw him eat almost an entire pizza for lunch.

I turn around, Adrian’s plate in hand. “Here you go. Don’t eat it so fast you choke,” I tease.

Adrian grabs the plate, fork already in hand, and starts inhaling the food. Around the food stuffed in his cheeks, I think he mumbles, “No promises.”

Keegan leans forward, placing both arms on the table. “Okay, so that’s the second time you’ve called him that. What exactly does that mean? I mean, he’s freakin’ hot. Nerds are usually scrawny kids with bad acne who study all the time because they have no social life. I have a hard time believing Kade Cross was ever that kid.”

Since Adrian’s mouth is full, Max replies, “Well, maybe nerd isn’t the right description.”

“I call him boy genius,” Adrian interrupts. “Just wait to hear some of the useless shit that comes out of his mouth. I mean, one minute we can be talking about some girl having camel toe, then the next minute Kade is giving some lecture on how camels mate. His brain never stops. It’s exhausting for me just to watch him think.”

I smile, remembering Kade telling me about how the Quarter Horse got its name.

“What’s his major?” Gemma asks.

“Computer Science, but the degree is just a formality. Kade could probably shut down the entire Internet if someone held a gun to his head,” Max answers.

Keegan raises both hands in the air, halting the discussion. “So, help me understand. He can pass his classes without studying, yet he is in the library on the first day of classes. What the hell is he doing there?”

Adrian huffs. “Were you not listening? He’s there gathering all the useless information he can find, so that later he can recall that information that no one else wants to hear about.”

“Yes, dickcheese, I heard you, but that still doesn’t make sense to me,” Keegan snaps back.

“Okay, okay,” Gemma interrupts, trying to mediate. “What are his plans for after graduation? Maybe that will help us understand. Maybe he needs more than coursework for his career.”

Adrian’s gaze quickly shifts to Max. The two have a nonverbal conversation before Max answers, “He’s hoping to get into one of those big programming places. You know… the big places… that do programming.”

Well, that was one of the worst lies I’ve ever heard.

Keegan rolls her eyes. “You two lie about as well as Shyanne.”

Neither of them disputes her accusation and the topic is dropped. After dinner, the five of us find our way to the living room to watch crap TV. Gemma and I cozy up in the oversized chair together, leaving the couch for Max, Adrian, and Keegan. Max takes one end and Adrian sits in the middle, holding out his arms to Keegan, inviting her to sit on his lap. Keegan picks up a book off the coffee table and throws it at him, then sits in the empty space next to him.

Adrian rubs his chest where the book hit him. “Keegan, you wound me with your attempts to deny our attraction.” He picks up the book to examine it.  “What is this?”

I look over and see it is one of Keegan’s zombie survival guides. Having been friends with Keegan for six months now, I don’t think twice about her bizarre reading materials, topics of conversation, or collection of weapons. At first I used to think she was crazy, but then I became fascinated with her thoughts on the topic. Now when her monthly subscription to
Surviving Everything Zombie
is lying around, I might even flip through it. Adrian is clearly jumping straight to the fascination stage with Keegan.

Keegan just gives him a thin smile, so I answer, “It’s one of Keegan’s survival guides, you know, for when the walking dead take over our campus.”

Max leans over to get a better look and Adrian opens the book. They both are quiet for a few minutes while they explore the world of surviving zombies, and then Max clears his throat. We all turn to look at him. His brows are pushed together and his lips are pursed in question. We all just wait, since no question has been asked yet. I can see him trying to decide what question to ask about the zombie book. His eyes are shifting from Keegan to the book, then down to the floor. He is obviously struggling with how to ask about her crazy beliefs without offending her. What he doesn’t yet know is that it’s extremely difficult to offend Keegan.

Finally Adrian looks up from the book and asks, “You follow all this shit? I mean, you really stockpile food and you have weapons and shit?”

Keegan nods, matter-of-fact. “Yep. I have four guns, even have a concealed carry permit. I also have machetes, hunting knives, and a katana.” Then she leans over to him, stopping only a few inches from his face. She drags one finger from his wrist up to his elbow and continues in her most seductive voice, “One thing you will learn about me, Adrian: I don’t do anything halfway. When I commit to something I give it everything I have.” She licks her lips. “And I mean everything.”

I chance a look at Gemma and she, too, is struggling not to laugh. I pinch her to get her attention and a little squeak escapes her lips when she looks at me.

I look back to Adrian to see a shocked look cross his face, but he recovers quickly. He licks his lips, leans over, and places one hand on her thigh and the other arm around her shoulders. “I like the sound of that. Come on, I’ve got something you can commit to.”

“Really, dude?” Max rubs both his hands down his face, then he tells Keegan, “Feel free to punch him in his asshole.”

Keegan never backs down. She leans into him, eyes lowered, watching his lips as though she were going to kiss him. “Adrian, if you can come up with a proposition that doesn’t make me want to slap you or throw up on your face, they maybe I would consider.”

Adrian’s eyes have gone wide. “Seriously? Do you mean that? Don’t fuck with me, Keegan,” he demands, looking like a kid on Christmas morning.

Keegan shrugs. “Sure, this could be a great teaching moment for you. You need to learn that no girl is ever going to be with you if proposition her like a hormonal twelve-year-old boy.”

Adrian jumps up off the couch. “I’m going to go work on my proposition right now.” He points at her, then continues, “You better not be fucking around. I take my sex very seriously.” Then he turns and practically runs out the door.

Max lets out a little chuckle. “You are totally fucking with him, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” Keegan confirms as she leans back into the corner of the couch and stretches.

“You do realize he will be reciting cheesy pickup lines to you every day for the entire semester, don’t you?” Max points out.

Keegan lifts her legs onto the couch so her feet are lying on Max’s lap. “I know, and you all will be thanking me for the free entertainment.”

***

I see Kade again Wednesday morning when I get home from the barn. I never look at a clock when I’m at the barn, but I guess I have my routine down so that I leave at almost the same time every day.

This morning I pass Kade and Max in the driveway. Max gives me another chipper “Good morning,” and I return the sentiment. Kade looks up only long enough to give me a chin lift, then his gaze goes back to the ground. Something has definitely changed. I tell myself that’s a good thing, because it would have been difficult to resist the Kade I first met, but even though I told him to leave me alone, I didn’t want him to.

The next time I see him is Thursday, on campus. I’m parked outside the student union, waiting to pick up Gemma for lunch, when I see him walking toward me. Just seeing Kade causes stupid butterflies in my stomach, which pisses me off. I don’t get butterflies. Thirteen-year-old girls who have crushes on boys get butterflies.

Then the butterflies die a sudden death: Kade is walking with Taylor Morris. I only know Taylor because she’s been at The Hole a couple times when I was there with Keegan and Gemma. They introduced me to her, and she actually seems very sweet.

Taylor is laughing at something Kade said, which in turn makes Kade smile. She reaches up and wraps her hand around his arm. The familiarity between them causes the dead butterflies to do one last flop.

I know I have no right to be jealous, because I made it clear that I’m not interested in getting to know him—the problem is, I am. I’m just terrified of what will happen if I do. I already think about him all the time, and I barely know him.