Side Chic (12 page)

“Alright.” I followed her down the short hallway into the kitchen. The kitchen was decorated with an apple theme. There were apples everywhere. It was really cute but not something I would’ve chosen. The table had already been s
et so I took a seat
.

“I hope you’re hungry because I fixed baked chicken, peas and carrots, mashed potatoes, rolls, cherry cobbler and to drink we’re having Juicy Juice.” She laughed.

I laughed too. “That sounds great. I appreciate you inviting me to dinner. I haven’t had a good home cooked meal since I left Nita’s house. Most of the time I eat fast food…well all of the time.”

“That isn’t healthy for you or those babies. They need some good ol’ home cooking!” She fixed both of our plates and then sat down at the table. We said grace and then started to eat.

“Yeah, I know it isn’t healthy. I will be so glad when I get back on my feet.” I put a forkful of peas and carrots in my mouth. I took my time chewing as I thought about how messed up my life seem to be at the moment. I shook my head. “Sometimes I can’t tell if I am coming or going but I’ll tell you one thing. I have definitely learned a lot from this entire experience.”

Nisey chewed her food before responding. “Well that’s what life is all about, living and learning.” She took a sip of her juice. “Why don’t you tell me exactly how you ended up here? I mean you’ve told me bits and pieces but tell me everything. That way you can stop carrying everything around on the inside because that isn’t good. We all need someone that we can talk to without feeling like we are being judged and in your case that’s me. I have made my fair share of mistakes and so I am in no position to judge anyone. As a matter of fact I will share my story with you when you are done. How does that sound?”

“Sounds great.” I took a deep breath and then I began. I told her everything from the first day that Tre and I met up until the last time that I saw him. When I was done I had tears streaming down my face.
I don’t think I really realized up until that point how much I really missed him.
“I know that it was messed up for me to be dealing with another woman’s man and then on top of falling in love with him I ended up pregnant but I never meant for it to go down this way. I mean, I never planned to fall for him or get pregnant. The plan was to just have a little fun
and that’s it. I didn’t have anybody and he was there and to be honest I was very attracted to him. I won’t sit here and front like I didn’t want to have sex with him because I did but I tried to fight it! I really did! Even when he first approached me I said no because you h
ave somebody but
I just couldn’t keep saying no.” Nisey had been quiet the entire time, never saying a word just listening. “I know that you probably think I am some kind of home wrecking hoe, don’t you?”

“Actually, I don’t. I mean, I’m not going to sit here and say that you weren’t wrong for getting involved with this man knowing that he had someone but ultimately the decision was his. He was the one who was in a committed relationship, not you. At the end of the day if he didn’t care about the woman that he had at home, why should you?
That may sound harsh but it is what it is.
”

Finally someone who
saw shit the way that I saw it!
“True and that’s how I felt about the situation. Honestly, I don’t feel like I owe her anything but on the flipside of that there is a part of me that is like what if I was in her shoes. How would I feel about the next bitch creeping with my man and getting pregnant by him? I know without a doubt that I would be hurt but I would never go and approach her or anything because I know better than that, I would fuck my man up though!”

“Yeah, I hate when women be fighting each other over a dude but still be laid up with him like he ain’t did shit wrong! That burns me up!” She hit her fist on the table. “I have to commend you for how you handled things. A lot of women would’ve been at his door telling the babymama that she was pregnant and just causing a huge messy scene. I like the fact that you didn’t do that.”

“Nah, that ain’t how I r
oll. You see one thing about it.
I’ve always known my position from day one. I knew that I was the side chic,
the one that he crept
off with, do what he do and then go back home to ol girl. I’ve always played my position and never tried to play any other position. Most chics be a side chic with main chic expectations…not me! When I realized that I’d fallen in love with Tre and was pregnant by him. I packed my shit and dipped because I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I did some ol silly shit that I would regret later! I’d been known that I was in love with him a while back, hell we been dealing for two years but then when I found out I was pregnant…I just had to leave.
I will be honest with you though, I miss him a lot. I miss laughing and
talking
to him.
”

“
That’s understandable.
So do you plan on telling him
that you’re pregnant
?”

“No…I don’t know…maybe one day.”

She sat back in her chair. “What about your parents? From the things that you’ve told me about them, they seem like they’d be really supportive and you need all of the support that you can get during this time. Plus I know that your mom is going to be very upset that her only daughter, her only child
,
kept her first pregnancy from her. This is a very special time in your life and hers. These are her first grandbabies. I think that you should tell your parents.”

I sat there thinking about what she’d just suggested and even though I knew that my parents would be very supportive. I also knew that my mom would be trying to get me to come back home. She wouldn’t be feeling the idea of me being three and a half hours away in Danville, VA, living in a motel
room, pregnant! Oh no, she would have a damn fit sure as hell and I wasn’t trying to go through all of that with her. “I don’t know. My mom will hit the roof when I tell her and especially knowing how my living conditions are here.”

“Lala, you need to tell your parents. You are twenty-eight years old, it’s not like they are going to beat you or anything.
” Nisey joked but I knew that she meant what she was saying. “Listen you are grown and so ultimately the decision is yours but I think that you should consider telling
your parents. Let them help you.
That’s
what they are there for. I can see that you are a strong independent woman who feels like she can handle everything on her own. You feel like you made this mess and so it is up to you to clean it up but
there is nothing wrong with having a helping hand.”

“You’re right.” I agreed. “I’m going to call my mom sometime this week and talk to her. I just have to build up my nerve first.” I laughed
nervously
. “So tell me your story.”

I noticed her entire demeanor change and a sad expression covered her face. “Well my story is very similar to yours. I met my husband
Jonathan
six and a half years ago when I was working at Starbucks. He would come in all the time and we would talk, nothing really serious just general conversation. Eventually I began looking forward to him coming in. We became really close and found out that we had a lot in common. At the time he was married to his ex-wife Sylvia. He’d told me about her and the problems that they were having. He’d said that the marriage had been dead for years and that it no longer felt like a marriage but more less like they were roommates. I would give him advice, telling him things that I tho
ught might help. He told
to me that he didn’t even feel like trying anym
ore. We were friends for a while and it was very innocent but after a while I realized that I’d started to develop feelings for him.” She paused, took a sip of her juice and then continued. “When I realized that I’d developed feelings for him, I started to back off. I began avoiding hi
s phone calls and text messages and
wouldn’t see him.
I even changed my shift to avoid seeing him.
Needless to say, none of it worked because one night when I got off from work he was waiting for me in the parking lot. He asked me what was going on and why I’d been avoiding him. Instead of lying
,
I told him the truth. To my surprise he confessed that he’d also developed feelings for me. That night was the start of a seven month affair. I wasn’t satisfied with being the woman on the side that he came and got his rocks off with and then went back home to his wife. I wanted to be number one! So I gave him an ultimatum, I told him that it was either me or his wife. The next thing I knew he was standing at my door with all of his things.
A few months later I found out that I was pregnant with JJ. Jonathan filed for a divorce from Sylvia and we got engaged. No sooner than his divorce was final we got married, had a little private ceremony in his parents backyard. His parents despised me and still do to this day but they tolerate me. They’ve always felt like I was the reason that his marriage to Sylvia didn’t work out but I strongly disagree. That shit was over before I came into the picture and they would
’ve eventually divorced anyways!
Hell, Sylvia didn’t seem the least bit heartbroken by the divorce! As a matter of fact she remarried as well to some young Italian guy that she met while on vacation.
She says she met him on vacation but I think her ass had been knowing him and screwing him on the low!
”

I interrupted. “Did Jonathan have any kids with her?”

She shook her head. “Nah.”

“Oh okay.”

She continued. “Anyways, everything was great or so I thought.
About ten
months ago I noticed that Jonathan had started becoming very chummy with one of his co-workers. He worked at the Toyota dealership over on Piedmont Dr. Him and this little skinny white chic name Elizabeth were going out for lunch together, texting and calling each other after work. When I told him that I wasn’t feeling how close the two of them had become, he told me that I was over-reacting and that the two of them were just friends.
I told him that I didn’t give a damn how good of friends they were she didn’t need to be calling and texting him. For months we argued about this friendship that I felt like had to be something more because of how determined he was to continue the phone calls and texting, let’s not forget the lunch dates. I felt like he was totally disregarding my feelings. He swore it wasn’t like that. He claimed that the reason why he continued doing what I had asked him not to do was because I was acting as if I didn’t trust him.” She paused and looked away. I couldn’t quite tell what she was looking at. She looked to have a blank stare in her eyes.  Then I saw the tears in them. “Needless to say our happy marriage wasn’t so happy anymore. We were constantly arguing over Elizabeth.” Tears rolled
freely
down her cheeks. “I remember one day when we were over at mama’s house and she noticed the tension between us. She asked me if everything was okay and I explained to her wh
at was going on. I asked her if
I wrong for wanting him to end the friendship with
Elizabeth.
She said to me, ‘No baby, you were wrong for how you got this man and that is why his friendship with this woman is driving you crazy. You are afraid that he will do to you what he did to his first wife with you.’” She shook her head and wiped the tears that
were on her face but it didn’t do any good because they were immediately replaced by more. I too was crying by now.
“I remember telling her that she was
wrong and that wasn’t the reason that I wanted him to end the friendship but deep down inside I knew that she was right. She’d hi
t the nail directly on the head!
Don’t get me wrong I knew that Jonathan loved me but hell he had loved Sylvia once before too!”

I interrupted
,
using the back of my hand to wipe my tears. “I have a quick question.”

“What is it?” She asked taking another sip of her juice
and rubbing her belly
.

“
Throughout the entire relationship had Jonathan ever given you any reason to not trust him? I mean before this Elizabeth situation came about was there anything else?”

She shook her head. “Nope…nope…not none at all. He was the perfect husband.”
She ran her finger through her braids and dropped her head. “That’s what makes this shit even worse. I swear karma is a bitch!”

I was confused. “Huh? Nisey what do you mean?”

She lifted her head and looked over at me,
tears
steadily streaming down her cheeks. “The morning of the accident, Jonathan was driving me to work and the taking JJ to school.
It was raining so hard that we could barely see.
He and I were arguing over a text message that Elizabeth had sent him just before we’d left home. It wasn’t anything serious, it was a joke that someone had sent her and she had forwarded it to him. It didn’t matter to me what it was, all that mattered to me was that she had texted him after I had plainly told him that I wanted it to stop!
He kept asking me to let it go so that he could concentrate on the road but I wouldn’t…
” She broke down and sobbed loudly.
“I wouldn’t let it go! I was so mad at him…”

I got up from my seat and rubbed her back. “It’s okay Nisey. Listen maybe we shouldn’t talk about this anymore. Let’s talk about something else.”

“No, I’m fine.” She cried. “I’m…fine. I want to tell you.”

My heart went out to her. I didn’t need to hear the rest to know that she blamed herself for the accident and the deaths of her husband and son.
That had to be a hard thing to carry around on your conscience. “Okay well you can tell me later.”

She shook her head. “I’m good…I’m going to tell you now.” She got up and got a paper towel from the paper towel holder and wiped her face.

“Nisey where is your bathroom?”

“Right down the hall, it’s the first door on your left.”

I went down to the bathroom to empty my bladder while she got herself together.
When I came back out of the bathroom she was sitting at the table, eyes puffy but dry. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah.” She gave me a forced smile. I took my seat. “Okay, now as I was saying. We were on our way to drop me off at work and we were arguing like hell. I remember telling him that I was at the end of my rope and that if he didn’t stop that bitch texting him then I was taking JJ and leaving. He took his eyes off of the briefly to look at me. He was about to say something but before he could an eighteen wheeler crashed into the side of our minivan. It hit on the driver’s side, JJ was sitting behind Jonathan. I looked back just as the eight
een-
wheeler crashed into us and saw the look of terror in my baby’s eyes. That was the last thing I saw before I was knocked unconscious
. I woke up hours later to find out that my son and husband hadn’t made it.”

I sat there with my hands covering my mouth, tears streaming down my cheeks again. I didn’t know how to respond to what she had just told me but some
how
the words, ‘I’m so sorry’, managed to slip from my lips.

“Yeah me too.” Nisey said staring off again. “I am grateful though that God allowed this baby and I to survive through all of that. I came out of the accident with only a few scratches and bruises. The biggest scar I received was the one on my heart because no matter how much time passes it doesn’t seem to heal at all.” She looked at me and I could see the pain in her eyes. “Lala, there are nights where I lay down and I dream about the accident. I see everything just as it happened but at the end of my dream, I always see JJ and he’s asking me why.”

“Nisey, I really don’t know what I can say that will make you feel better but I am here for you anytime that you need me, day or night just call and I’m here.”

“Thanks girl. I appreciate that.”

“No problem.”

We sat at her table and continued to talk for hours. Time flew and before we knew it, it was after two in the morning. Nisey insisted that I stay with her instead of driving back to the hotel. I accepted her offer and crashed on her sofa for the night.

Lala

For the next month and a half I threw myself into working on my book. Nise
y was a huge help by reading each
chapter as I wrote them. She would give me her ideas and help me catch the errors that I’d made. With the story being loosely based on my relationship with Tre it made me miss him a lot as I wrote and thought about all of the times that we’d shared and memories that we’d made together. A few times I started to pick up the phone and call him but I knew that I was doing the right thing by staying away from him.

It was Saturday night and I had just finished the final chapter of my book. Nisey was sitting on the sofa reading over it. I sat across from her on the loveseat waiting to hear what she thought. The anticipation was killing me! “Hurry up Nisey!”

“Girl, be quiet! I’m reading as fast as I can!” She said without looking up from her laptop.

I needed to do something to take my mind off of the book
s
o I decided to call my mom while I waited for Nisey to finish. I took out my cell and dialed my mom. I got up from where I was sitting and walked into the kitchen. The phone rang several times before my mom picked up.

“Hey baby, I was just lying here thinking about you. How are you doing?” She asked sounding happy to hear from me.

“I am doing great!” I replied excitedly. “Guess what?”

“What? I am too old to be doing a lot of guessing so just tell me!” She laughed. “What are you all excited about?”

“Come on ma…guess!” I whined. I didn’t want to just tell her my good news. That would take all of the fun out of it. I’d told her and my dad about the book that I was working on a few weeks earlier and they’d been thrilled about me writing a book.

“Okay, ummm…you found another job?”

“Nope.”

“Met a rich man?”

I giggled into the phone. “I wish!”

“Met a handsome man with a good job and even better credit?”

“Shoot…I wish but nope!”

“Okay, give me a hint or just tell me already!”

“I finished my book!” I blurted.

“Awww
…
Lala that’s great!” She sounded just as excited as me.

I
heard my dad in the background asking. “What’s great?”

“Lala finished her book!” My mom replied.

“That’s my girl! Tell her that I want an autograph
ed
copy and don’t forget about us little people when she becomes a famous author!”

I laughed. “Tell him he will most definitely be getting an autographed copy! Also tell him he doesn’t have to worry about me forgetting anybody because no one will probably even b
u
y this book so there is no way that I will become famous!”

“Oh hush your mouth girl talking that nonsense!” My mom’s voice took on a serious tone. “Don’t speak negative about your project! Speak positive and positive things will happen! Every little thing started out small and became something bigger! Don’t you dare doubt what you can become. You can become anything that you put your mind to and that includes a New York Times Best-selling Author!”

Hearing her say that made me feel empowered like I really could become a best-selling author if I wanted to. I’d done research about self-publishing my book. I’d found out how to upload my book to Kindle and Nook so that
is where I planned to start. Nisey had made me a hot cover using her photoshop program so I was all set. “Thanks ma! I really appreciate that.”

“You are welcomed baby. I am so proud of you! My baby is an author!”
She beamed!

I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “Ma, you are a mess but I must admit, I am very proud of myself. Just a couple of months ago it felt like my world was falling apart because of the bad choices that I’d made but now it feels like I am finally headed in the right direction.”

“That’s good baby. I am glad to see that you are not letting your mistakes hold you back from moving forward. We all make mistakes and that’s alright because that is what life is all about, making mistakes and learning from them. You have taken something negative and made it into something positive and I couldn’t be more proud of you for that.”

I knew that it was time for me to come clean with her about my pregnancy. It was better to go ahead and get it over with. I’d hid it long enough. I took a deep breath. “Ma, I’m pregnant.” I held my breath and waited for her response.

“Huh? What did you say LaQuela?”

Hearing her say my real name told me that she’d heard what I’d said but wanted to be sure that she’d heard me correctly. So I repeated myself. “I said that I’m pregnant. That’s why I left Boykins.”

“Oh my goodness, Lala.” I heard her let out a sigh. “So you’ve known all this time and you are just now telling me? When did you start keeping secrets from me and your daddy? We raised you better than that!” Just that quickly the excitement about my book and how well I was doing was replaced by disappointment.

“Yes ma’am. I knew before I left but I was too ashamed and afraid to say anything…”

“Ashamed of what?” She cut me off. “Girl, I am your mama! If you can’t come to me and talk to me then who in the hell can you go to? I have always been here for you! Whether you were right or wrong! I have had your back through everything! Me and your daddy have always made it clear that there was nothing so bad that you couldn’t come to us! We may be disappointed in some of your choices but we are going to love you regardless! You know that!”

“Yes ma’am, I do.” The waterworks had started and I now had tears meeting beneath my chin. “I apologize, ma.” I sniffled.

“Oh hush that darn crying!
You should’ve been crying when you were lying to me for months!” I heard my dad ask what was going on. “She’s pregnant and we are just now finding out!”

“Pregnant? Since when and by who?” I heard him yell.

I rolled my eyes up in the ceiling. “Lord, I knew that I shouldn’t have said shit.” I mumbled as I listened to the two of them fuss back and forth about me hiding my pregnancy.