Silence (27 page)

‘What do you understand? You Superiors in Macao, you in Europe!’ He wanted to stand face to face with them in the darkness and speak in his own defence. ‘You live a carefree life in tranquillity and security, in a place where there is no storm and no torture—it is there that you carry on your apostolate. There you are esteemed as great ministers of God. You send out soldiers into the raging turmoil of the battlefield. But generals who warm themselves by the fire in a tent should not reproach the soldiers that are taken prisoner
 
…
’ (But no, this is only my self-justification. I’m deceiving myself.) The priest shook his head weakly. (Why even now am I attempting this ugly self-defence?)

I fell. But, Lord, you alone know that I did not renounce my faith. The clergy will ask themselves why I fell. Was it because the torture of the pit was unendurable? Yes. I could not endure the moaning of those peasants suspended in the pit. As Ferreira spoke to me his tempting words, I thought that if I apostatized those miserable peasants would be saved. Yes, that was it. And yet, in the last analysis, I wonder if all this talk about love is not, after all, just an excuse to justify my own weakness.

I acknowledge this. I am not concealing my weakness. I wonder if there is any difference between Kichijirō and myself. And yet, rather than this I know that my Lord is different from the God that is preached in the churches.

The remembrance of that
fumie,
a burning image, remained behind his eyelids. The interpreter had placed before his feet a wooden plaque. On it was a copper plate on which a Japanese craftsman had engraved that man’s face. Yet the face was different from that on which the priest had gazed so often in Portugal, in Rome, in Goa and in Macao. It was not a Christ whose face was filled with majesty and glory; neither was it a face made beautiful by endurance of pain; nor was it a face filled with the strength of a will that has repelled temptation. The face of the man who then lay at his feet was sunken and utterly exhausted.

Many Japanese had already trodden on it, so that the wood surrounding the plaque was black with the print of their toes. And the face itself was concave, worn down with the constant treading. It was this concave face that had looked at the priest in sorrow. In sorrow it had gazed up at him as the eyes spoke appealingly: ‘Trample! Trample! It is to be trampled on by you that I am here.’

Every day he was taken out for inspection by the
otona
or some leading personage. The
otona
was the representative of the town. Every month he came with a change of clothes and then brought him to the magistrate’s office.

There were other times, too, when through the
otona
he was summoned by the officials and again brought along to the magistrate’s office. Here he would be shown certain objects on which the officials were unable to pass judgement, and it was his job to state whether or not they were Christian. The foreigners who came from Macao had all sorts of strange goods in their possession, and only Ferreira or himself could immediately judge whether or not they belonged to the category of forbidden Christian objects. When his work was done, he would receive some cakes or money from the magistrate’s office by way of recompense.

Whenever he went to the magistrate’s office at Hakata, the same old interpreter and the officials were there, always greeting him with courtesy. There was never any question of humiliating him or treating him as a criminal. On the contrary, the interpreter carried on as though he had absolutely no recollection of what had happened in the past. And as for himself, he simply smiled as though nothing had happened. Yet from the very instant he set foot in the place, he was aware of a searing pain that told him of a memory that neither of them could touch but must always be avoided. This was especially so when he passed through the antechamber; because from here he could see the dark corridor some distance away from the courtyard. It was there on that white morning that he had stumbled along in the embrace of Ferreira. And so in embarrassed haste, he would turn his eyes away.

As for Ferreira, it was forbidden to meet him freely. He knew that Ferreira was living in Teramachi, close to Saishoji; but they were not allowed to exchange visits. The only time they met was when they came to the magistrate’s office in the escort of the
otona.
Ferreira, like himself, was thus escorted. Both of them wore the clothes they had received at the magistrate’s office; they simply greeted one another in their strange Japanese so that the
otona
might know what they were saying.

At the magistrate’s office he made a pretence of the utmost candor, but it was impossible to express in words his feelings toward Ferreira. Indeed, there was in his heart a complexity of emotions, such as reign in the hearts of two confronting men. Both of them felt hatred and contempt for one another. Yet for his part, if he hated Ferreira this was not because the man had led him to his fall (for this he felt no hatred and resentment) but because in Ferreira he could find his own deep wound just as it was. It was unbearable for him to see his own ugly face in the mirror that was Ferreira—Ferreira sitting in front of him, clad in the same Japanese clothes, using the same Japanese language, and like himself expelled from the Church.

‘Ha! Ha! Ha!’ Ferreira would cry out with his servile, laughing voice as he faced the officials. ‘Has the Dutch firm come to Edo? Last month when I was in Dejima they were saying that they would.’

He would stare silently at Ferreira, taking in the sunken eyes and the drooping shoulders, listening to the raucous voice. The sun had fallen on those shoulders. At Saishoji, when first they met, the rays of the sun had beaten down on those shoulders.

His feelings for Ferreira were not only of contempt and hatred; there was also a sense of pity, a common feeling of self-pity of two men who shared the same fate. Yes, they were just like two ugly twins, he suddenly reflected as once he looked at Ferreira’s back. They hated one another’s ugliness; they despised one another; but that’s what they were—two inseparable twins.

When the work of the magistrate’s office was over, it was usually evening. The bats flitted across between the gateway and the trees; they flitted over the purple sky. The
otona
would wink knowingly at one another and depart to left and to right with these foreigners who had been entrusted to their care. As he walked away, he would furtively look back at Ferreira. Ferreira, too, would cast a glance back at him. Until next month they would not meet again. And when they did meet, neither would be able to plumb the depths of the other’s solitude.

Chapter 10

EXTRACTS FROM THE DIARY OF JONASSEN, A CLERK AT THE DUTCH FIRM, DEJIMA, NAGASAKI

July 1644 (June, the First Year of Shoho)

3rd July.

Three Chinese junks cleared the port. Obtained permission for the Lillo to depart on the 5th. Shall have to carry to her tomorrow silver, war supplies and miscellaneous goods, and finish all the preparation.

8th July.

Settled the final accounts with merchants, coin-judges, house-owners, and Mr. Shiroemon. Wrote at the Chief’s command orders for goods for Holland, Coromandel Coast and Siam to be supplied by the next voyage.

9th July.

An image of the Virgin Mary was discovered in the house of a citizen here. The household was immediately sent to prison and cross-examined. Consequently the man who had sold it to them was searched out and examined. It is said that Padre Sawano Chuan, an apostate, and Padre Rodrigues, another apostate Portuguese, were present at the inquisition.

Three months ago a coin bearing the image of a saint was found in the house of a citizen here. Rumor has it that all the members of the household were arrested and put to torture to make them give up their faith; but they refused to apostatize. Padre Rodrigues, the apostate Portuguese, who was among the witnesses, appealed for mercy repeatedly to the Government but was not heard. They were sentenced to death. It is said that the man and wife and their two sons had half of their heads shaven and were paraded through the town on the back of lean horses for four days. I heard that the parents had been executed the other day by being hung up by the feet, and that the sons had been put into gaol again after witnessing this sight.

Toward evening a Chinese junk made port. Her cargo was sugar, porcelain, and a small quantity of silk textile.

1st August.

A Chinese junk arrived from Fuchow with miscellaneous goods on board. Towards ten o’clock the guard recognized a sailing ship some six miles off the Bay of Nagasaki.

2nd August.

In the morning started unloading the ship mentioned above and made good progress.

Toward noon the Clerk of the Governor and his Assistants called at my room followed by a group of interpreters, and questioned me for a couple of hours. This was because Sawano Chuan, the apostate, who lives in Nagasaki, and Rodrigues, the Portuguese apostate priest, informed them that the decision was made in Macao to send priests to Japan by Dutch vessels from India. According to Sawano the priests would hide themselves in Japan hereafter, engaged in lowly work of the ship as employees of the Dutch. The Clerk warned us, saying that the Firm would fall into grave difficulties if such a thing should happen, and he advised us to be very cautious. If a priest should come to Japan hereafter by our ship, and, finding it impossible to smuggle himself into the country because of the strict vigilance, should try to leave by our ship and be caught, it would also be the ruin of the Dutch. He declared that, since the Dutch call themselves subjects of His Imperial Majesty and of Japan, they should naturally deserve the same punishment as the Japanese; and he handed me a statement in Japanese issued by the Governor, which is as follows:

Translation of the Statement

Padre Sawano, whom the King of Hakata had arrested last year, testified in Edo to the Supreme Authorities that there are many Roman Catholics among the Dutch and in Holland. He also affirmed that Dutchmen had called on priests in Cambodia and professed themselves of the same faith, and that it had been decided that priests should enter the Dutch firm in Europe as workmen or sailors to sail over to Nagasaki, Japan, by ships of the firm. The Government could not believe it and suspected that he intended to put Dutchmen at a disadvantage by testifying against them, both the Portuguese and the Spanish being great enemies of the Dutch. But Sawano Chuan asserted that this was no lie but truth. For this reason the Governor commands the Chief to investigate whether or no there is any Roman Catholic among officers and crew. If there is, report it. In case a Roman Catholic should be found in future coming to Japan by a Dutch vessel without being reported to the Governor, the Chief would find himself in serious trouble.

3rd August.

Towards evening finished discharging the ship mentioned above. The Governor asked today if there was a gunner in the same ship who could handle a mortar. Sent Paulus Ver, an assistant clerk, to the ship to make inquiries, but there was none. Reported to that effect. The Governor commanded me to make inquiry about this of every ship to come hereafter, and to report it if there was any such.

4th August.

In the morning Mr. Honjo, a senior samurai at the Government, visited the ship and searched it closely even to every chest in the corners. He said that this cross-examination was due to the ex-priests in Nagasaki, who testified to the Supreme Authorities that there were Roman Catholics among the Dutch and that they might come over on board Dutch vessels. But for this new suspicion, said he, the inspection might have been more mitigated than the year before, and he explained this to the officers of the ship as well. In compliance with their request I went on board myself and in their presence advised the crew that, if anybody had hidden anything that had to do with the Roman Catholic religion, he should bring it out and he would incur no punishment. To this they all answered that they had nothing hidden, and I read aloud to them the laws and regulations the crew were supposed to observe. As Mr. Honjo desired to know what I had told them, I explained it to him in detail. Whereupon they left saying they would report this to the Governor and relieve his mind.

Towards evening a Chinese junk made port from Chūanchow. Her main cargo was gossamer, figured satin, crepe-de-chine and other fabrics, the estimated value of which was eighty kan; added to this were sugar and miscellaneous goods.

7th August.

The two sons of the executed parents I mentioned elsewhere were bound and carried on the back of lean horses together with another victim, passing by the Firm, to the execution ground, where they were beheaded.

1645 (November, December, the Second Year of Shoho)

19th November.

A Chinese junk arrived from Nanking with merchandise worth eight or nine hundred kan containing white raw silk, gossamer, figured satin, gold brocade, damask, and so on. She brought us news that three or four junks with heavy cargoes were due here in a month and a half or in two months. They told us that they could easily obtain permission over there to sail freely to Japan only if they paid their dues to the High Official, which amounted to between one hundred and six hundred taels in proportion to the quantity of their cargoes.

26th November.

A small junk sailed in from Chang-chew (possibly Chang-chow) with a cargo of linen, alum and pots, estimated at more than two chests.

29th November.

In the morning a couple of interpreters came to the Firm at the Governor’s request, and showed me a Dutch verse printed under a picture of the Virgin Mary which read, ‘Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women (Luke 1.28).’ They said that the picture was obtained from a bonze near Shimonoseki and asked me what the language was and what it meant. They also told me that Padre Rodrigues, the apostate Portuguese, and Sawano Chuan said they could not understand the sentence because it was written in neither Latin nor Portuguese nor Italian. It was ‘Ave Maria’ in Dutch which was printed by a Belgian who shares our language. No doubt the picture must have been brought in by our ship, but I decided to keep silent until further inquiries were made. As for the figures I answered correctly since Padre Rodrigues and Sawano Chuan must have already explained it to them.