Silent No More (10 page)

“Baby, stop. I’m just having fun with you,” Nick
says. I can barely register his words. Panic fills my chest

This isn’t fun. Nothing about this is fun or okay.
I feel the urge to scream, to struggle. The sound catches in my throat, yet I
continue to struggle and try bucking him off me. “Shannon!” Nick calls my name
as he reaches over me, releasing me from my binds.

“Get off!” I yell. Once my wrists are free and I
can move my arms, I reach up and try to shove Nick off me. I half succeed, and
he lands on the bed on his side. His expression is one of shock.

“What the fuck?” he says and sits up. He’s looking
at me through eyes filled with caution. My breathing is heavy and I sit up.
Reaching behind me quickly, I snatch a pillow and hug it to my chest.

I’m okay.

My wrists hurt, but I’m okay. I’ve never freaked
out like this before. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I…I’m sorry, but maybe you should tell a
girl before you do that,” I respond, my voice just a whisper. Fuck. He probably
thinks I’m crazy. Maybe I am. No, I’m not, I remind myself.

“Are you sure, because you just freaked the fuck
out on me. What the hell happened?” he asks. Damn. What can I tell him? I look
over at him. He’s standing next to the bed in all his naked gloriousness. His
wide eyes look down at me like he doesn’t understand, but wants to.

“I don’t know. I…I wasn’t expecting it, that’s
all.” That sounded believable, right?

“You don’t know, or you don’t want to tell me?” he
questions in an accusing tone. Maybe it didn’t come out as believable as it
sounded in my head.

Ugh, just let it go.

“I said I wasn’t expecting it, so just leave it
alone, okay?”

“Fine and I’m sorry. Can I at least get back in
bed, now?” he asks as he reaches for the blanket to pull the covers back. I nod
my head indicating yes; I mean, this is his bed not mine. I don’t have a right
to tell him either way. He is reluctant for a brief moment, but then shakes his
head and slides under the covers. He opens his arms and I leap into them. Fuck,
I can’t believe I did that. Nick pulls the covers out from under me and yanks
them over us.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper into his chest.

“It’s fine.
I shouldn’t have tied you up without asking you first. It won’t happen again.
Let’s just go to sleep.”

It sounds
like a wonderful plan. I don’t know if I’ll manage sleep, but I’ll try. I
inhale deeply and blow the air back out. I relax into his arms, forcing myself
not to remember. Eventually, I fall asleep.

I wake up in the center of the bed, lying on my
stomach. Rising up, I twist my head to look at the clock on the bedside table.
It reads 8:49 am. This is a typical time for me on a Saturday morning. I’m
pretty lazy on the weekends.

I roll out of bed and walk over to his dresser
drawers to borrow some clothes. I settle on a black Ralph Lauren tee shirt and
his black boxer briefs. The shirt is big and swallows me. I roll the band on
the boxer briefs so they do not fall off and I go into the bathroom to pee and
brush my teeth.

I feel a little stiff. After rinsing my mouth out,
I leave the bathroom and go find Nick. Walking into the kitchen, I see him on
the back deck throwing a ball for the dogs. As I walk out the door, he turns to
me. He looks happy and relaxed. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” he says as he walks up
to me, and gives me the softest and sweetest kiss on my lips. “Someone used my
toothbrush,” he says while chuckling. I reach for the ball in his hand.

“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind,” I say, taking the
ball from him. The dogs are waiting patiently for the ball to be thrown. I
throw it and they both run for it. Charmin is not nearly as fast as Niko. Poor
girl probably never gets the ball.

“You can use anything of mine, and wear anything
of mine,” he says as Niko brings the ball back to him, bypassing me. My
feelings aren’t hurt. Taking the ball from Niko’s mouth, Nick tosses it into
the yard and the dogs take off after it again.

Nick comes up behind me and wraps his arms around
me. “You look good in my underwear,” he says, and I look back at him over my
shoulder and smile.

“You don’t look half bad yourself in a workout shirt
and gym shorts,” I say as he’s hugging me tightly. Nick is wearing a black
sleeveless Under Armor shirt and matching black gym shorts.
Man, he has nice big arms.
The ink that’s
wrapped around his biceps only helps to enhance the bulging muscles.

“Are you planning on working out this morning?” I
ask.

“Yes, I’m meeting Jase and Nikki at
Knocked Out
in about thirty. Do you want
to come?” he asks while moving my hair out of the way to kiss my neck.

“Isn’t that a gym for MMA fighters?” I ask, recalling
him telling me his sister’s name is Nikki.

I really like it when he kisses that spot.

“Yeah. Do you want to come with me? You can meet
my sister,” he says while bending down and picking Charmin up off the
ground. 

“No, I have a few errands to run today. Would you
drop me off at my car? I left it at Katelyn and Stacy’s apartment yesterday,” I
say, remembering I have to pick up my stuff from my old apartment. I’m really dreading
going there.

“Actually, it’s already in the driveway. Shane and
your friend Katelyn brought it by an hour ago,” he replies while petting Charmin.
She is really a beautiful puppy.

So,
Katelyn made nice with Nick’s friend?
I snicker to myself.

“So why is your sister going to be there?” I ask.

He chuckles. “She’s an amateur fighter so she’s
there more than I am,” he replies while sitting the puppy on the ground next to
Niko.

“Do you fight too?” I follow him inside the house,
closing the door behind me. The dogs stay on the deck playing with each
other. 

“Not in the sense you’re probably thinking. I
mainly only train with Jase. He’s dating my sister, so getting to kick his ass
five days out of the week is how I deal with my sister’s relationship with my
best friend,” he replies with a smile. He doesn’t seem uneasy about it at all.
Now the odd comment from last night makes sense. Jase really is off limits. I
don’t have any brothers or sisters, but I imagine it’s weird for a sibling to
be dating one’s friend.

“Where are my keys?” I ask. “I need to get my
clothes out of my car and change,” I tell him.

“I already got your things out. Everything is
lying on the counter in the laundry room,” he says, pointing to a room off the
side of the kitchen.

“Thanks.” I walk up to him and wrap my arms around
his neck. He bends down and kisses me on my lips. This man could kiss me for
the rest of my life and I don’t think I would tire of them.

Mmm…

“I’ll be at Knocked Out for most of the day. Come
by when you get done.” He isn’t asking, but I don’t care. I want to see him in
action, and I want to spend more time with him. I don’t know where this is
going, but I really like him.

He releases me and heads for the front door. He
turns back to face me. “There’s a spare key under one of the cushions in the
chair out front. Take it and lock up before you leave. Later, babe,” he says
while closing the door behind him.

I walk into the laundry room, and find the bag
with my blue jeans and fitted white shirt. I grab them along with my bra and
panties, and head for the master bathroom to take a shower.

Walking in the bedroom, I lay my clothes out on
the bed and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the shower to hot and wait for
the right temperature. While I’m waiting, I strip and toss Nick’s clothes in
the hamper.

Stepping into the shower, the water feels heavenly;
I stand there letting the heat wash over my stressed body.

My mind replays last night. I can’t believe I
freaked out like that. I can only imagine what Nick must think. I’m thankful he
didn’t bring it up this morning. That isn’t a conversation I can have with him
or anybody else for that matter. Some things need to stay wrapped up for
forever, and that’s one of them.

I wash my hair and body using the products he has
in his bathtub. Once I’m done, I turn the water off and step out, grabbing a
large white towel from the rack. I towel off, discard the towel onto the floor,
and then walk into the bedroom for my clothes.

After throwing on some clean clothes, I go back
into the bathroom to look for a hair dryer, but there isn’t one, or if there is
I can’t find it so I comb through my wet hair and part it on the left side. It
will just have to air dry. I don’t have an issue with this. I let my hair air
dry often. Sometimes just because, but most of the time because I’m too lazy to
blow-dry it.

I still have Katelyn’s riding boots, so I make my
way back to the laundry room for them. I put them on and head out the door. I
locate the spare key and lock the door.

Getting into my car, I start the ignition. It’s
obvious that Shane drove my car over; the seat is pushed all the way back and I
have to adjust it.

I pull out of the driveway and head to the former
apartment I shared with Luke. The life I had only a few days ago. I’m really
dreading this and I’m praying he’s not home. I’m hoping he did the one thing I
told him to do and isn’t there.

This is unlikely since its only 9:30 AM. He’s
probably in bed asleep. He usually goes out with his friends on Fridays like I
do after his rounds are over.

It takes thirty minutes to reach the apartment.
His car is not in the parking lot and I say a silent prayer, thanking God. I
turn the ignition off and head in. Unlocking the door, I walk in and all seems
quiet.

I walk into the bedroom and confirm he isn’t
there. “God does love me,” I say out loud. I quickly go to the closet and pull
out my large luggage bag.

I grab all of my clothes first, leaving the
hangers on them, and toss them in the luggage case before taking it out to my
car. Once it’s shoved into my backseat, I head back in and finish packing the
rest. It takes both of my gym bags to pack all my shoes. From the bathroom, I
only grab my makeup, hair dryer and jewelry. My essentials and accessories are
in their own containers, so I quickly tote everything to my car, placing them
in the front seat and floorboard.

I go back inside the apartment grabbing my two
cameras and a black and white photograph hanging on the wall. Looking behind me,
I take in the apartment one last time. Luke can keep all the furniture, dishes,
and bed. I hate all this traditional-style crap he picked out. I’m going to
enjoy decorating a new place.

I leave my key on the coffee table and head out
the door. Walking around to the front of my car, I open the trunk. I know it’s
called a boot, but I just can’t call it that. Once I have my equipment stored
away, I hear a voice yelling my name close behind me. I already know who it is
before I turn around.

“What the fuck do you want, Allison?” I ask
through clenched teeth. I hate her and I’ve never hated anyone in my life. I
really don’t like this feeling.

“Shannon, please talk to me. I’m sorry. I really
am. You are my best friend. Please talk to me,” she pleads. Is this bitch for
real?

“We are no longer best friends! Hell, we are no
longer friends! Of all the people to do this, I never would have imagined it
would have been you!” I shout a little too loudly. I really don’t like this. My
neighbors can probably hear.

“I wanted to tell you about what happened. I did,
honest. I just didn’t know how, and then it just continued…” she starts to
trails off.

“It was more than a onetime occurrence?” I ask
with a dazed look, bile making its way toward my throat. I’m shocked. Yeah,
Stacy made me question this for a brief moment, but Allison just confirmed it.

“I love him, Shannon, but I never meant to hurt
you. I swear I didn’t. I love you too; we’re like sisters,” she says with tears
forming in the bottom of her eyes. Now, I’m pissed the fuck off.
I don’t care if she cries. She needs to cry. She
needs to hurt the way she hurt me.

“A sister wouldn’t have done this,” I yell. “You
two can go fuck yourselves! I don’t care about Luke. You can fucking have him.
In fact, it was pretty eye opening walking in on him cheating, but
you
...I’ll never forgive
you
,” I say, feeling all the hurt coming
back up to the surface as I yank the driver’s door open. I jump in the driver’s
seat and slam the door in her face. She is lucky I’m not beating her ass right
now. I shove the key into the ignition; I turn it with a quick flick of my
wrist before I change my mind. One last look at her, and I see Allison is still
crying. I hear her ask me not to leave, to stay and talk to her. She is whimpering
out an “I’m sorry,” as I pull out of the parking lock. What she doesn’t
understand is that what she did, what they did together is…un-fucking-forgivable!

It’s only 11:30, still morning, and I don’t want
to go see Nick angry, so I decide to go shopping for a few hours. Buying new
things always brightens my day. I head to the strip mall. The same one my
gallery is in.

I buy more lingerie at
Dentelle
. A girl can never have too many panties. I walk past a
trendy dog store and decide to go in, thinking I might get a few treats for
Niko and Charmin. I walk down each aisle grabbing things I like.

I leave, having purchased a bag of dog treats,
another ball
−
so they each have one
−
two huge, plush dog pillows and two new collars. I
noticed Niko’s looked old and Charmin doesn’t even have one. How is he going to
take her on a walk if she doesn’t have a collar?

After stopping by Starbucks to get a Mocha
Frappuccino Grande, I go by the gallery to check on Jenny. I walk in carrying
all my bags and coffee.

I see her helping Mr. Chaney with his order. I
think it’s the framed photograph she was wrapping up on Thursday afternoon.
He’s been a client of mine for a few months now. He has at least three of my
photos in his home, and one in his office. This will make his fifth.

He and Jenny look at me when I walk in through the
door. Jenny is surprised to see me, and it’s showing across her face. I’m never
here on Saturday, unless she is sick or on vacation. “What are you doing here?”
she asks.

“I was shopping. Decided to stop by,” I reply with
a shrug of my shoulders. “Hello, Mr. Chaney,” I turn greeting the customer.
“How are you today?” I ask as I sit my heavy bags on the counter.

“Shannon, will you please call me Jeffery? I hate
it when you call me Mr. Chaney. It’s too formal. You make me think we aren’t
friends,” he says while walking up to me and giving me a tight hug.
Awkward.
I pat him on the back, like I
would a dog
.
I
didn’t realize we were friends. He is always sweet
to me, probably only a few years older too, but as a client, I prefer to call
him by this surname. Plus, he’s always a little too touchy-feely, so I don’t
want him to get the wrong impression.

“Sorry, Jeffery. I’ll remember next time,” I say,
taking a step back from him. I turn my attention to Jenny. “So is everything good? Do
you need anything from me while I’m here?” I ask.

“No. I have it covered. You go and enjoy you day
off,” she says while handing Jeffery a receipt.

I grab my bags from the counter and Jeffery takes
them from me. “Let me help you with those,” he says, but doesn’t wait for my okay
before he is walking out the door.

I follow him, waving bye to Jenny behind me.
“Jeff, really I can tote them. My car is only parked over there,” I say,
pointing straight down the parking aisle in front of my gallery.
He gives me a questionable look. I don’t think he
likes me calling him Jeff. Oh, well, what’s a girl to do! It’s what I do. I
shorten everyone’s name, everyone except Katelyn. She is not a fan of “Katie”,
or any version thereof. He opens the door for me.