Silent No More (20 page)

The following afternoon I’m finally
back
at work, settling back into my routine. I’ve missed my
sanctuary. I have missed having something to actually do. I give Jenny the day
off, so I’m out front working behind the counter. I actually like these days,
even though I’m on my feet most of the time. I’m never bored. I’m usually
rearranging framed pictures and adding new ones so the place looks fresh and
alive. Next week, I’ll start planning the next collection. I’m thinking Las
Vegas.

“Damn it!” I holler after tripping over a brown
box lying on the floor behind the front counter. I grab the glass counter top
so I don’t hit the floor, but not before the corner of a large picture frame
stabs my knee.

“Shit,” I spit out. That hurts.

“Is that really the language you want your customers
to hear?” My head flies up and I freeze when our eyes lock on each other. How
do people not see the evil in this man’s eyes?
Thank
God Jenny isn’t here. I wouldn’t want her here right now. But then again, I
don’t exactly want to be in a room alone with him. I close my eyes briefly and
take in a calming breath. He’s still standing on the other side of the counter
when I open them back.

Fuck.

“Leave. I have nothing to say you.” I try for assertive,
but I know I fail. My voice is breathy.

“Well, I have plenty to say to you, so no, I won’t
be leaving, yet. You’ve ignored me long enough so I had to come to you,” he
tells me as he walks up to the counter. I instinctively back up, but there is a
wall behind me so I don’t get more than a foot or two away from him.

“What do you want?” I ask. My bottom lip is
trembling, but there is no controlling it, so I bite down on it, hoping to calm
myself. I want to flee, but I won’t get very far if I try to run. I’m still in
reaching distance from him now.

“You and I didn’t get to catch up last weekend.”
He has a sadistic smile on his face.

“We have nothing to catch up on. Now. Get the FUCK
OUT OF HERE!” I yell at him. I won’t show weakness to him again. He reaches
over the counter and grabs my arm, pulling me close to him. He has a firm grasp
on me, but not so much that it will leave a mark. I inhale sharply which causes
an intense pain to shoot through my ribs. They are mostly healed, but every
time I take a quick breath, the pain lets me know it’s not completely gone.

“Do I need to teach you a lesson, Shannon? A
lesson in respect perhaps?” His grey eyes are cold and I tense up, afraid of
what he’s about to do to me. My mind flashes to the last time he said that.

“No,” I plead. So much for not showing him how
weak I really am.

“Good,” he says as his eyes soften a little. “Now
tell me, what have you told my son about us?” He pulls me even closer.

“Nothing. Please leave me alone. Please go,” I beg
him.

“There’s my little beggar. I’ve missed you.” My
face is only inches from his and then he plants a quick hard kiss onto my lips.
Nausea hits me instantly and I think I’m going to be sick.

I pull back yanking my arm from his grip. Without
thinking or considering the consequences, I slap him across the face with all
the strength I have. Oh God, what have I done? Pure evil flashes over his face.
I cover my mouth with my hand, shocked I let myself lose control like that
around him.

“You’ll pay for that, bitch,” he says as he takes
his right palm and rubs the area of his cheek that I slapped.

“No,” I whisper. I look around searching for
anything that might help me if he attacks. There is no way I can reach the
front door without running past him. The only thing in my reach is the picture
frame that I hurt my knee on. Not much good it’s going to do. “Please, I’m
sorry. I’ve kept my mouth shut all these years. I never told anyone. I just
want you to leave.”

“Then why are you back? Why are you fucking my
son? What is it you really want, Shannon?” His eyes are blazing and his lips
are curved up in a snarl as he stares at me, waiting for a response. Does he
think I’m with Nick to get at him somehow? What would give him that idea?

“I…I don’t want anything from you.” And I don’t. I
don’t want to ever have to see this man again, but how will that be possible if
I continue my relationship with Nick.

As if reading my thoughts, he smirks. “Then maybe
you need to reevaluate your relationship with Nicholas. I want you to leave
him. Because if you don’t, then I promise you that you will be seeing a lot
more of me.” And with that last statement, he backs up and exits the building.

Break up with Nick? No, I don’t want that. I enjoy
Nick too much, and we’re good together. I’m not ready to end things. I also
don’t want to have to see his father ever again. I don’t want to have to relive
everything that happened all those years ago. I back up and slide down the
wall, onto my butt with my knees pulled up in front of me. I wrap my arms
around my knees and lay my forehead against my kneecaps.

I won’t walk away from Nick, but how can I stay
with him and keep this secret? How can I expect him to be honest with me in our
relationship if I can’t be honest with him? As I take a deep breath, I hear the
chime of the door. Someone has just entered. I look up, cutting my eyes in the
direction of the door and see Jeffery walking my way. I push myself up and off
the floor.

“Shannon, are you okay?” he asks. Man, I must look
awful if he can tell something is wrong. I take another deep breath and plaster
on a smile.

“Of course. What can I help you with?” I ask. His
eyebrows knit together, as if he doesn’t believe me. Oh, well. This is none of his
business.

“I’ve been trying to reach you for a few weeks,
but Jenny has been telling me you’ve been unavailable.”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t been in.” I hesitate,
remembering Nick’s call to him. That was so embarrassing, but I need to address
it. “And I’m sorry about Nick.”

“So, Lockhart.” It’s a statement rather than a
question I think.

“Yes,” I say, confirming for him that I am seeing
Nick if he was questioning that. His eyebrows knit together and he shakes his
head. “What is it I can do for you, Jeffery?” I ask, hoping to bring the
conversation back to business.

“I’m making cosmetic changes to my office. It’s
located downtown in Pasadena. I want to contract you for fifteen to twenty
framed photos.” This is pleasing news to hear and a great way to get my name
out to more people. Jeffery is the CEO of an architecture firm.

“So far, everything you’ve said sounds good.” I
beam at him. My mind briefly drifts to Nick. He’s going to hate this, but
business is business. There is nothing personal between Jeffery and me.

      
“I was
hoping you would say that. I’ll have my assistant call you next week to set up
a meeting.” He turns on his heels, striding out the door. How in the hell am I’m
going to break this to Nick? Neither one of us really talks about work, so
maybe I should keep quiet and not bring up the subject. I know that seems like
lying, and I guess it really is, but bat shit crazy Nick hasn’t shown his face
and I’d like to keep it that way.

The weekend comes and goes too quickly, as does my
Monday afternoon scouting locations for the shoot Jeffery wants me to do. His
assistant called me first thing this morning, giving me a few details and set
up a meeting with Jeffery. From our brief conversation this morning, I learned
Jeffery wants framed photographs of structures and buildings in and around LA
to be used as artwork to fill his office space.

We are supposed to meet at 10.00am on Friday to
discuss the project in detail. Until then, I want to have some ideas to lay out
in front of him. There are tons of buildings throughout the city, so this
project is not only going to be easy, but fun.

It’s been well over a month since I’ve shot any
photos for professional purposes, so I’m itching to put my Nikon D4 back into
my hands. She is a beauty. I haven’t been inside Jeffery’s office before, so I
don’t have any idea what the layout looks like. Come Friday, I’ll have a better
idea what I’m going to do for his space.

Even though my day has been long, I’m not tired.
But I am glad to be back home. This is because Nick should be home in about an
hour. Since the accident a week ago, this is the first day Nick hasn’t been
fussing over me or calling to check on me. I didn’t realize how much I miss it until
arriving home.

After putting dog food into each of the dogs’ food
bowls on the kitchen floor, I wash my hands. Once they are dry, I retrieve a
bottle of water from the refrigerator. Opening the bottle, I go to take a
swallow when I hear the front door open then quickly slam shut with a loud
thud. The noise startles me, but I remember Nick is the only other person with
a key. It can’t be anyone else. I place the water on the counter and exit the
kitchen. When I enter the living room, my eyes lock onto Nick’s. The look in
his eyes is a mixture of anger, betrayal, and hurt. I recognize the look. It’s
the same one I had when I realized Allison was the person Luke cheated on me
with.

“Nick, what’s wrong?” I ask as I make my way to
him. I have an overwhelming need to feel his touch, to have his arms wrapped
around me.

“Don’t touch me right now,” he says, forcing the
words out as he puts his right hand out in front of him to halt me from getting
any closer.

“No,” I say pushing his arm away and closing the
distance between us. I grab his arms loosely and look up at him. “What’s
wrong?”

“I said, don’t fucking touch me!” he yells as he
jerks out of my hold and takes a step back. His eyes are wide and his breathing
is ragged. He’s really angry, but why?

“What the hell, Nick! Why are you mad?” I ask him,
taking a deep breath. I’m not going to let myself jump to any conclusions. His
dad couldn’t possibly have said anything. Not when I can ultimately tarnish
everything he is.

“Mad? You think this is mad? This is far beyond
mad, Shannon. I want to rip your fucking heart out right now!” he screams at
me. I gasp in shock and take a few steps back, hitting the wall behind me. Why
would he say that? In the back of my mind, I know only one possible answer.

His father.

“What do you think I did exactly?” I ask him as I
realize he’s already made up his mind. Whatever lie his dad told him, he
believes. It’s been three day since James paid me a visit and I’ve ignored the
threats he’s texted me over the weekend. I’ve deleted them as soon as I
realized who they were from. I haven’t ended things with Nick, so something
tells me he’s taken matters into his hands. I’d be lying right now if I said I
wasn’t scared. Not of Nick, but of what is about to come out of his mouth.

“My father came to my office about an hour ago.
What do you think he told me?” He isn’t yelling, but his voice is still loud.
It’s almost…cold, like…like his father’s.

“I don’t know,” I say. My voice is low and I look
down closing my eyes. This is bad. I can’t believe this. This can’t be
happening this way. Nick’s fathers a lying bastard and he believes him.

“That’s how you’re going to play this? You don’t
know?” No, I don’t know. I look back up at him as anger sets in. Anger at
Nick’s father and anger at Nick for believing him, for not giving me the
benefits of doubt.

“No, Nick. I don’t know what he told you. Why
don’t you just say it? Why don’t you tell me what you believe?” I clench my
fists together, hanging them at my sides.

“What I believe? I want you to tell me it isn’t
true. I want you to tell me you didn’t fuck my father. Can you do that?” Yes, I
could tell him that because I didn’t willingly have sex with his dad. He raped
me, but I remain silent. I can’t get the words from my brain to mouth. “No, you
can’t can you?” Tears start to pool into my eyes.

“Don’t start with the fucking water works. There
isn’t anything you can do that will take it back. There is nothing that is
going to change the fact that you had an affair with my father.”

“No!” I yell, but there are no other words that
follow.

“Like hell you didn’t. What do you call fucking a
married man?” I look down, remaining silent as more tears roll down my face.
“No response,” he snickers. He actually snickers at me. “Were you playing me
this whole time? Were you only with me so you could blackmail my father again?”
What? I snap my head up. What the hell did he tell him? “Don’t look at me like
that. I saw the paid invoices where my father paid your college tuition.” I had
nothing to do with that. I never wanted it. He did that to make sure I stayed
silent. Tell him, Shannon. Tell him the truth, but I can’t. Instead, I lower my
head as more tears fall.

“Your silence is all I need. It speaks volumes
right now. We! Are! Done!” He punctuates every word and turns to leave. I grab
his arm pulling back.

“No!” I scream. His eyes are cold and harsh.

“You don’t honestly think I’d ever touch you
again, do you? After knowing you have been with him? The sight of you makes me
sick right now.” He pulls his arm out of my grip and walks out the door,
slamming it shut.

He’s gone.

He left me and I still can’t say the words I’ve
wanted to speak for so long. How can I want to tell someone…anyone… so badly,
yet not be able to? I slide my body down the wall to the floor, cradling my
head in my hands. I cry like I’ve never cried before. They are loud ugly cries.