Silent Scars (Surviving #4) (36 page)

The garden was a cacophony of screaming kids, laughter, and uncontrolled chaos. It was fucking heaven. It was the twins – Annabelle and Marie’s birthday party. Currently, Castor was tearing around the place with Alfie, Izzy, Imogen, and Molly screaming at him to hand over the candy he was hiding. The twins were happily toddling around the play castle Will bought for Izzy years back. My brother was crouched in the small space, pretending to drink from cups inside the castle. Eve, Lou’s sister, and her husband, Dominic, were chatting to a friend as she held their baby girl Lydia. She was the tiniest little human I had ever seen. Eve had gone into premature labour with her, and when she was born, she only weighed five pounds. I was yet to hold her because I was scared I’d freaking break her. The change in Eve over the years was amazing. She was outgoing, chatty, and much more like Lou.

Talking of my pain in the ass and completely terrifying sister-in-law, she was the best damn woman I had ever met. Jo was in the process of trying to convince her to have another kid, but she claimed she was too old. But he would win because I caught her cooing over the babies with that glint in her eye.

A loud cry echoed around the room, and I got up immediately. The hairs on my back stood on end as I searched for the source of the scream. Will came out of the castle with a little boy cradled in his arms. The kid’s head tucked into his neck as he whispered something to him. He headed straight for me and held out the little dark haired boy.

Big brown eyes just like his momma’s stared at me as tears streamed down his face. I pulled him into my chest and folded my body down to sit back on the lounger. My pulse calming somewhat when I couldn’t see any injuries.

“Hey, little buddy. What’s wrong?”

“Molly, kissed me.”

I stifled the laughter wanting to burst free. He clung to my neck and buried his face in my chest. He lifted his grubby hand to his mouth to suck his thumb.

“Hold on, bud, I need to wipe that first.” I reached out to Emily’s diaper bag and grabbed a wipe. One good thing about women and their bags, they carried shit for any emergency. I wiped his thumb, and he immediately stuck it in his mouth. My boy was tired.

“No like girls, Daddy.”

“You will one day, bud. My best friend is a girl,” I said, kissing the top of his head. His hair was dark, a mass of waves, thick and inky just like his mom. He was tall like me. He definitely had my stature. But everything else was all his momma. Absolutely perfect.

“Really?” he said around his thumb.

“Yep. Your momma is my best friend.”

“Huh.”

“When you fall in love, bud, when you are much, much older, I’ll add. You don’t think you can love anyone as much as you love them. That person will become your everything. Until the day you become a parent. Then your heart feels like there is so much love in there it will explode.”

He shifted and pressed his ear over my heart. Listening.

“Is it loving now, Daddy?”

“Never stops, buddy.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, Joseph.”

I hugged my little man to my chest, rocking slowly as he drifted to sleep in my arms. Footsteps behind me had me glancing over at my breathtaking wife. She watched me holding her baby boy and let out a deep sigh.

I tipped my head to the side, silently asking her to get her sexy ass over here. She was wearing a summer dress that fell just above her knee. Her hair was down, falling over one of her shoulders, and those fucking glasses were perched on the end of her nose. Her flip flops slapped against her heels as she slowly came over to us.

“How are my guys?” she asked, reaching out to touch Joseph on top of his head.

“Better, now momma is here.” I secured Joseph to my chest and reached out my other arm, wrapping it around her waist and pulling her closer.

“How are my girls?” I asked, pressing a kiss to her swollen tummy where my baby girl was growing. She threaded her fingers through my hair, grinning down at me.

“Hungry. We need cake.”

I grinned up at her before resting my ear against her tummy, holding my wife, my baby girl and my little buddy. I closed my eyes, pure contentment suffusing my body. Never would I have imagined my life could be this good. It hadn’t been easy, and still I have days where I struggled, but when I looked into the faces of my wife and son, I knew the struggle was worth it. I couldn’t give up.

I had been seeing a therapist for just over a year. I started to see one after what happened with Aloura, but I wasn’t ready to let go. When Joseph was born, I had no other option. Fucking up wasn’t an option. I would be a man he could be proud of. I would fight this for him.

I hugged him tighter to me, the usual bliss taking over the darkness.

Do you hear that
?

Silence.

The End

Aside from Castor (who you have yet to properly meet) Ryan became my favourite male character. I fell hopelessly in love with this special man and I am so happy I can finally share him with you all. Thank you for being patient with me. I know this book should have been with you months ago, but the man did not want me delving inside his head.

In this series I have turned to the darkest parts of human nature. Each book I have poured my heart into and tried my upmost best to bring a touching, heartfelt story about the strength people have within them to overcome abuse. I pray that I have done it justice. Unfortunately people do suffer domestic abuse, child abuse and PTSD. Abuse is never okay, I can never condone it. I would hope in life there is support and help for those in need.

This book is for the fans. You were introduced to Ryan in Surviving Love and demanded he be brought to life through my words. I pray that I have given you what you wanted. My broken hero was difficult to write. I don’t take his issues lightly and wanted to give you the best I possibly could.

A huge thank you to my betas Lauren Sweeney, Sarah Symonds, Eli Castro, Maje Layton Brustad (Dominic’s true woman), Carina Adams, Linda and Amanda you ladies are my rock.

To the amazing bloggers out there that have taken a chance on me and read the stories I send you. To the blogs who tirelessly promote me, and spread the word that I exist. To the readers who buy my work and continue to support me.  Thank you.

A major thank you to Linda Kage my release day buddy, I say this in each book, but without you none of this would have ever been possible. You were the person that started this entire journey for me. A simple letter to you to say how truly amazed I was with your books led to a friendship I hold so dearly to my heart. I am truly thankful you replied to my insane ramblings about A Price of a Kiss. You believed in me, and pushed me to show the world Elemental Fear. I adore you completely. You are my sounding board and have listened to me drone on about these characters for over a year now. It’s been an honour to be one of the first to read your stories, but it’s a even bigger achievement to have someone as talented as you read mine. So thank you.

Thank you to my awesome editors Kelley Lynn and Suzi Retzlaff from Cookie Lynn Publishing. Photographer Andrei who provided the cover images. Emma Mack for your amazing help with blurbs, you guys have made the final product something I am incredibly proud of. Thank you to Lisa at Tasty Book Tours and Amber Starr at Summer’s Book Blog for the fantastic blog tour and release tour.

To my family. When the wife is missing or locked away inside the mind of a broken character it is my husband who sits and listens and brings me back to reality. He is my very own cheerleader. My sons, who have to listen to mummy say “five more minutes” when she’s writing. Thank you for your patience, I love you all so very much.

Last but by no means least, I would like to say a huge heartfelt thank you to Lauren (Aunt Low). You lady are my saviour every day. Each day you make me smile, you make me laugh and you give me something to be thankful for – you. You are a friend everyone in the world should have, and I am so grateful I can call you my friend. I love you so much lady and thank you for being you.

Adafrost.co.uk