Silver (40 page)

‘
“Mr. Silver?”

“
Of course he turned around and I don’t believe he recognized me but as soon as I saw those grey eyes, I knew it was him. I was so shocked that I think I made some noise and Avery turned around to see who else had noticed our exchange. He shushed me and, grabbing me by the arm, pushed me across the road.

‘
“
Who are you?”

             
‘“My name is Heston. You know my employer. Goodwin. I am Goodwin’s valet. We met in St Giles, sir.”

“
He was panicked.  There were no two ways about it. Even after I had reassured him that I had come of my own accord and that neither Goodwin or Bateman had sent me, he was no more at ease.

             
‘
“What do you want? Why have you come here?”

“
I could not answer him and was almost glad when we were interrupted by an elderly woman who recognized Avery and called to him, eyeing me suspiciously.

             
‘
“Miss Silver? Why are you here? You ran off in such a hurry.”

“
She bustled towards us but Avery was not content with the interruption and, lowering his voice, gave me his first order.

             
‘
“Don’t go anywhere, say nothing and play along.”

             
“The woman soon came alongside us and Avery was quick to introduce us.

             
‘“
Mrs. Fearncott, this is Heston. Heston is a tutor at the University of Bristol. He was a friend of my father’s and sadly just missed the funeral. Heston this is Mrs. Fearncott, a friend of my father’s.”

“
At the time, I had no idea she was affianced to his father and I simply gave her a courteous bow and offered some glib condolences. I was impressed with the speed at which he had concocted a story for me and I went along with the conversation as best I could. The woman asked me a few questions, confessed she had never heard of me and asked how I knew Toby. Avery stepped in quickly and told her we had to go. He hailed a cab, ushered me inside and then we were alone again.

             
“I was still very much in shock over exactly who Avery was but the whole liaison was thrilling. At this point, I did not know whether Avery was a man disguised as a woman or a woman dressed as a man. I could not have guessed when I had left my employer this morning that I would find someone as fascinating. My interest in him had been roused tenfold and, compared to my dull life, those ten minutes with Avery were exhilarating. As we bumped along without a destination, Avery began to fill the silence. He had a bitter edge to him.

             
‘
“I expect you have come to laugh at me? To report back to Bateman about how you find me?”

“
I shook my head and waited for him to finish.

             
‘
“It is something of a cruel joke is it not Heston that God has either placed the right mind in the wrong body or the right body with the wrong mind? I don’t expect you to understand nor do I expect Bateman or Goodwin or Elizabeth or anyone else to for that matter. I do not think I care what is to become of me. I cannot live like this any longer,” he paused, “and I do not intend to.”

‘
“Mr. Silver, you don’t surely intend to take your own life?”

             
“He looked at me cautiously. I had used his correct address and this had been taken well.

             
‘“
Of course not Mr. Heston. I intend to make a new one for myself. Today I buried my father and though his memory will be gone soon enough, his money will survive a lot longer. I expect it will afford me a change of scenery anyway.”

“
He looked at me again, his tone self-assured but without arrogance and I was charmed by him. He had untied his hat and the curls of his untidy hair fell about his face, he had tugged at the lace around the neck of his blouse as if the fabric irritated him. He smiled at me.

             
‘
“And what about you Mr. Heston? Why are you here? What are you come to do to me?”

“
I don’t believe I had any ready reply but rather stammered for an answer.

             
‘
“I wanted to see you again,”
I managed to say.

“
He narrowed his eyes at me and gave me a questioning look. It was a few moments before he spoke again.

             
‘
“When we met before at St Giles,”
he said and I nodded,
“I was not dressed like this. As a woman. I was dressed as a man. And you wanted to see me again?”

             
‘
“Yes, sir.”
I felt my face warm.

“
He searched my face and then laughed, a great bellow of mirth and he leant across and placed a brotherly hand upon my knee.
“Mr. Heston. I am sorry for your troubles. You came this morning looking for a wolf and found only a sheep. It must be funnier still to find that under the sheep’s clothing there is a wolf after all!”

             
“I could not help but smile with him as he had indeed put my day thus far into perspective. What he did not know then was that rather than be disappointed, I was only more intrigued by Avery Silver and, when I left him a few hours later, I would go so far as to say that I was infatuated with him.

             
“The next day, I took my leave of Goodwin again and went to find Avery. The cabbie had eventually deposited us in the city and we had walked for an hour or so before getting an Ombudsman our separate ways. He had talked about two women that he had fallen in love with and how he needed to leave the city and to find a place for himself. The grief, shock or toll that his father’s death had had upon him made him reckless and he told me far more than he should or indeed would have done under normal circumstances. I found him, dressed once more as a man, in Green Park. I saw him before he saw me and I had the luxury of being able to watch his easy gait and how other people did not even look twice at him. I found it utterly mesmerizing, and always did. When I bumped into him, he was not surprised to see me. We talked for hours and hours and at the end of the day, he had offered me a job as his personal valet. I accepted on the spot with no hesitations. Goodwin had been a reasonable employer but he was a troubled and difficult young man. Being taken on without the need of any references and for someone who would travel to Europe was an exciting prospect. I had only dreamed about such a prospect. Within the week, I was installed at his father’s house and he had begun to make plans for his escape to Europe.

             
“By the end of a fortnight we had grown more accustomed to one another and I felt more comfortable that I could serve him. In many ways, he remained very private and there would be things that for the rest of his life only he would attend to. In other ways, I was able to improve upon how he managed to pull together his already successful ensemble. After those first few weeks, he returned to his father’s fiancé’s house to collect your mother. He was expecting to stay for a single night and return with the rest of his belongings and bring Kate back to London. When he returned from Amersham it was not only with your mother but with Miss Elizabeth Greenwood in tow. He told me that his plans had changed and that he planned to take both women abroad with him. He asked me to make the necessary arrangements and so I did.”

       
Heston fell silent and, for a moment, I wondered if he had suddenly lost his courage. I was about to prompt him to continue when he started speaking once more.

“
We left London under a bit of a cloud.  Miss Greenwood was in some sort of trouble and on our last night in the city we ran into the same thing that she was trying to escape. It looked pretty nasty for a while and I was afraid that our best laid plans would go to waste. Fortunately, Elizabeth was, and I suppose she still is, a strong minded character and she managed to get herself out of a hole. That her father was a well to do lawyer must have leant considerable credence to her bluffs. Anyway, we left the next day and though your father and mother never looked back, I believe that Elizabeth kept one eye on the road behind for some time.”

       
Heston swallowed and continued to gaze into the fire. When he spoke again, he had an airier tone to his voice and he smiled.

             
“And so for almost half a year Miss Greenwood, your mother, Mr. Silver and I travelled around Europe. I saw things I never believed I would see. Paris, Madrid, Seville, the Alps, Turin, Milan and, of course, Florence. Eventually, the constant upheaval became too much for both Miss Greenwood and Mrs. Silver, or Miss Ward as she was then, and your father tasked me with finding a house in Southern Italy we might rent for the spring. I found a delightful little place about an hour from Verona which we could rent for a year. I remember the house came with a housekeeper and a young serving maid who looked for all the world like a fat poodle.”

       
He laughed at the memory of her and I found myself smiling along with him. It seemed such a rare treat to see him so animated, I felt ashamed of myself for not knowing the man better over the last thirty years.

             
“She had the most unruly hair. Your mother could not abide her waiting on her whilst she was around and much of the work your mother did, believing she could do it better. The poor girl knew only a few words of English and she would repeat them until she was almost in tears trying to get Mrs. Silver to leave things be.

             
“Those were good days. The food was most excellent, the cook was a typical Italian woman of a certain age and she was pleased to prepare hearty meals as long as they were received with effusion. We learned very quickly to make a lot of appreciative noises and this was enough to satisfy her at her work. She spoke a little more English and, after three months, our own Italian was becoming rather less rudimentary. Of course, it could not remain thus.”

       
He paused again and he looked at me as if willing me to say something but I did not know what to say. There was a pause as he considered where he was heading with his story and he continued though his pace had picked up as if he were late for something.

“
After a few months, Elizabeth went home to England and as far as I know, married her politician and we only saw her once again. The three of us stayed in Italy for the next year and then we returned to England. As you know, we lived in Bristol for a few years before moving to Hamble Gardens when you were younger.” He paused and licked his lips. “I can’t tell you how much pleasure it has given me to be in your father’s service. A life of service requires great strength but whenever I was placed in a room with Avery I felt weak. He had the most amazing courage and it was my life to be a part of his.”

       
The room around us had grown quite dark and the fireplace was home only to glowing red embers. Heston had had his eyes closed to this room and his time. He had been drawn in to his memories and I was loathed to speak and wrench him from his recollection but time had left us standing and I needed to ask.

“You said that Miss Greenwood was in trouble,” I said, slowly. “What kind of trouble?”

        Heston twitched and looked away from me. The hairs on the back of my neck began to prickle as I considered the way Mrs. Evesham had looked at me that first time we had met.

             
“Was she pregnant?” I asked. My voice was small but filled the empty study like a cloud across the face of the sun and Heston opened his eyes to look at me and nodded. “No, don’t tell me,” I said. I didn’t think that I could stand to lose my mother again.

       
Heston frowned and opened his mouth to speak but I rose quickly and stepped away from the heat of the fire. “I think I should go,” I said.

       
He rose and nodded.

“I should have given this to you when I found it,” he said quietly, crossing to his jacket and pulling out a thick envelope marked in my father’s hand with my name written across it. Though I had been expecting some such letter, it caught me by surprise and my ears filled with the sound of rushing blood. I knew instantly what may be contained within and I was unsure but eager to find out the contents. I took it from him and pressed it to my chest. I wanted to know what was said within but without having to read any details.

              “Thank you,” I said simply.

“What for?” he had stammered.

“For loving us all so well,” I said.

       
He had blushed and looked away, a tear rolling down his cheek.

In the end
, they slowed down at the beginning of Spring. The house that Heston had found was enough to cheer everyone’s spirits after a few months of hard travelling. The New Year had brought with it a spell of extreme cold across Europe and Spring looked unlikely until they had descended into Italy. The further South they had travelled, the warmer it had become and it was the lure of the sunnier climes that kept the four of them moving onwards. It was around the turn of March that it was obvious that Elizabeth was struggling with the constant upheaval of their travelling.

Despite her protestations that they continue as planned to Rome, Avery insisted that they take a house somewhere. Verona was a destination on their planned itinerary and he thought it would be easier for them to stay in touch with Elizabeth’s father from a planned stop. If they deviated to
o far from the plan then he may notice the postmarks becoming more obscure and begin to worry. It had become obvious that Elizabeth would not be home when she had intended and it would be necessary to make some excuses.

Heston
had come up with the idea that Elizabeth could write to her father that she had taken ill with Poliomyelitis. Evidently, his father’s master had taken ill with the same illness some twenty years ago and the doctor had prescribed bed rest for several months. It was entirely feasible that Elizabeth could have the baby, recover and be home only a few months after she had intended but not too late to mean her wedding must be postponed. The only difficulty would come if her father or her fiancé were worried after her and came to find her. After deliberating, it was decided that this was a risk worth taking and Avery wrote the letter the same night they had arrived. Heston would post it the following day when he visited Verona to stock for provisions.

       
They had been travelling for six months and, though loathed to admit it, Avery was pleased to have the opportunity to settle somewhere. Since Basel he had not dressed as a woman at all but instead had presented himself at various banks to withdraw his funds as a man. There had been only a small amount of difficulty in Basel at first but he was able to persuade the bank manager that there must have been some misunderstanding. He was a short, pale and thin man with equally thin, ashen hair. It was no surprise when Avery found out that his name was Blass.

             
“Sir! I think that I should know if I were my father’s daughter or my father’s son!”

             
“Of course, sir. It’s just that the paperwork here states that you are female,” Blass had offered a conspiratorial laugh but Avery just stared at him coolly.

“
Do you wish me to drop my trousers and prove it to you?”

       
Blass’s pale face had coloured very quickly and through his embarrassment it had been easy enough to have his documents changed. He had apologised profusely and assured Avery that he should have no further problems with his paperwork. With such documents in his possession it was easier still to drop his female identity entirely. When they arrived at the house in Verona, the housekeeper who spoke very little English had begun to flap as soon as they arrived. As Avery had turned to help Elizabeth down from the carriage, they all heard the cry from the woman who turned on her heel and disappeared into the house, making tut tutting noises. Avery’s first thought was that perhaps the woman had seen something in him that thus far nobody had, that this woman had seen through his disguise. Heston and Avery threw each other looks of confusion and Kate, rolling her eyes, was the first to enter the house to investigate.

“
What’s the matter?” Elizabeth asked as Kate returned a few minutes later. She looked downcast.

“
I think that there has been some misunderstanding,” she said, looking at Heston. “I don’t speak Italian but I don’t think she was expecting Miss Greenwood to be
con Bambino
. Does she think you and Miss Greenwood a couple?” she asked Avery.

       
Avery shook his head and indicated to Heston to stay silent.

             
“Heston has arranged accommodation for the four of us. We are to have the service of a maid to keep the place clean and someone to cook the meals.”

“
There are only three bedrooms,” Kate stated baldly. “One of us must share.”

       
It was Avery’s turn to feel confused and he shot a look at Heston who shrugged his shoulders apologetically. Elizabeth had not yet heard and Avery felt his ears begin to burn with annoyance. If the woman assumed that he and Elizabeth were a couple then surely he must share a bedroom with her. He found himself uncomfortable at the very thought of sharing such an intimate space and cast around for a solution before the woman returned and began shepherding them to their rooms. Before he could think, the dark shape of the housekeeper had descended the front porch and approached Elizabeth with open arms.

“
Buon giorno, buona giornata. Devi essere signora Silver?”

       
Elizabeth turned to look at Avery who did not fully follow the woman’s fast gabble. She smiled at him, a mischievous twinkle in her eye that he did not trust. The woman turned and gestured at Avery.

“
E 'questo tuo marito?”

“
My husband?” Elizabeth repeated. “Yes, this is my husband.”

       
Avery bit his lip on a choice outburst and saw Kate cast him a look of annoyance.

“
Signor Silver. Benvenuto!” The woman beckoned them all to enter and before he knew it, he was being shown the room he must share with Elizabeth Greenwood for the next few months. As the door closed behind them, he glared at her.

“
Why did you say we were married?”

“
I didn’t want her thinking I was a woman of loose morals, Avery.”

“But…”

“I am not sharing a bedroom with Heston,” she added

       
He could think of nothing to say so had left to find Heston and see what alternative accommodation might be arranged. He was unable to find him and instead he found Kate unpacking in her room. The door was open and for a few moments he watched her from the threshold as she moved from bed to chest of drawers, laying out the clothes she kept so tidy and clean. Much of her wardrobe had been adapted from his own but he barely recognized the same dresses as ones he used to wear. Where clothes had hung from his tall frame like willow leaves, the same fabric, clung around her chest and hips causing the eyes of whoever was looking to be drawn to them. It was as though in adapting the clothes she had stitched in magnets to draw the eye.

             
“Is yours and Miss Greenwoods room to your liking?” she asked, without looking at him.

       
Startled to be caught gazing at her so, he could only apologise as his face glowed pink. “Sorry. I, er..”

       
She turned to look at him and taking pity, she stepped to the door frame and pulled him in to the room, closing the door behind him.

“
Are you okay?” she asked. “You seem a little distracted by something.”

       
He was distracted. He was always distracted around her. Since leaving London, he had been excited and tired by the new sights and sounds. Most nights he had slept dreamlessly; however when he did have dreams, they were almost always about Kate. No longer where they restricted to an English Lake but they reflected his waking day until some mornings he could no longer discern if he had spent the day sightseeing with Elizabeth, Heston and Kate or whether he had slipped an arm around Kate’s waist and led her to a quiet corner and pressed his cool lips against the warm skin of her neck and felt her shudder.

“
It’s just…” he looked around at the bedroom she had been allocated and he took in the size of her bed and imagined himself asking to share it with her. Though she would likely say yes out of a sense of duty, he could not imagine how he could keep his dreams from her. Though less preferable, perhaps it was better that he share the bed with Elizabeth after all.

“
It’s nothing,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

“
Yes, of course. It’s perfectly comfortable. And you?”

       
He looked again at the bed.

             
“If you would rather, you could stay here?” she offered. His heart lurched and he smiled without noticing. “And I can stay with Miss Greenwood?” she continued.

       
He stared at her not knowing what to say and instead he just shook his head slowly.

             
“It’s okay.  I think I shall be fine as we are.”

“
I see,” she added smartly and turned to continue her unfolding. He wanted to say something else but had no idea what. In the end, he just turned and left the room without a word.

       
The house was in a small village to the west of Verona, a few minutes from Lake Garda. Within a few weeks things settled into a routine. At night the four of them had the house to themselves but by 6am the cook and the maid came from a few streets away to start breakfast. The days were getting much longer and the heat was beginning to make longer excursions more uncomfortable, not just for Elizabeth but for them all. Elizabeth was getting larger and as she did so, the more fractious she became.

       
One day in early April, Heston had taken himself off to Verona for the day to deliver the latest letter bound for England. Elizabeth was of course overdue to be home and they needed to advise that she would be staying in Italy for further rest. The letter had been written with a balance of assurances that she was well but that she could not travel. The house had been getting warmer all day and the only cool room was a small, North facing, parlour in which all three had been sat since lunch. Too uncomfortable to share the bed with Elizabeth, Avery had taken to sleeping in a variety of chairs refusing to admit to Kate or Heston that was what he was doing. As a result his own temper had grown quite short.

“
Must you keep sniffing like that?” he said.

       
Elizabeth stopped fanning herself and looked across at where Avery was sat.

“
I don’t know why you didn’t go with Heston to Verona. You are ill suited to being indoors. I am sure Miss Ward and I have done little to deserve the pleasure of your company.”

       
He glared at her and wondered himself why he had not. He looked across at Kate, sat beside the open window, her skin glistening with the heat. He felt his eyelids grow heavy in the warmth of the room and he began to doze. As he did so, he dreamt that he stood from where he was sat to where Elizabeth and Kate had also fallen asleep. He had walked to where Kate was seated and, lowering his head until his lips were beside her ears, he had whispered ‘I love you.’

“Avery!”

        Avery jerked awake to the sound of Elizabeth laughing uproariously and he looked around to find the source of the amusement. Kate was staring at him.

“W
hat is it?” he demanded after a few moments. “What’s so funny?”

“
Whom is it that you love, Avery?” Elizabeth asked, a teasing smile pulling her face wide.

       
He looked at her with bewilderment.

“What on earth do you mean?”

“Oh come now Avery, there is very little else to amuse me at the moment. Your waking moments are as dull as mine so please do entertain us all with your sleeping ones.”

       
He was confused for a few moments before it dawned on him that he must have uttered something in his sleep. A hot panic swept over him as he wondered what he had said and his mind swam with the various enactments he had imagined and what he had managed to give away.

“
Leave him alone.” Kate said.

“O
h, come now, Kate. Aren’t you just a teeny bit curious about who or what it is that Mr. Silver loves enough to keep only in his dreams.”

“
I am not,” she returned and, avoiding Avery’s gaze, she added. “I am quite sure it is something the two of you should keep private.”

       
Avery was about to retort but Elizabeth, looking even more pleased with herself, cut across him.

“
Well I shan’t be fobbed off quite so easily. Tell me Avery. What, or who, is it that you love you so much that it interrupts even your sleeping moments?”

“
It was nothing,” he snapped. He was in two minds to leave the room but he was annoyed that Kate seemed to think that there was something between he and Elizabeth. “It was nothing to do with you,” he added.

“
Nothing to do with me! But of course, Silver! It was nothing to do with me, but of someone else in this room I am sure you spend your time thinking.”

       
Avery was stunned. He had not expected Elizabeth to guess the truth of his heart so easily. Had he spoken in his sleep before? He shot a look over at Kate who was staring at Elizabeth in distrust. Elizabeth had returned her attention to her lap where she had been pretending to read. Her face was alight with mischief and she began to hum as she turned over the pages of the book in her hand. Kate turned to face Avery and when she found he was staring at her, she blushed and looked away.