Silver and Chrome: A Bad Boy MC Romance (16 page)

“If
I hadn’t shown up just now, what would have happened? Stonewall said you worked
for him. Present tense. Did you agree to go back to him? To be his little fuck
toy again, in exchange for a better view than you get at Piston?”

My
face burns and my ears ring as Evelyn slaps me. I turn my head back around to
stare at her, more in shock than anything else. She seems just as shocked.

“Oh,
my God. I didn’t mean to…” Her shoulders sag. “Look, Bash… this isn’t working.
Clearly. I mean, look at us. We do nothing but bring out the worst in each
other.” She takes a deep breath, then puffs it back through her lips. “I think
I should just clear out my desk on Monday…”

She
can’t even finish her apology before I pull her toward me and press my lips
against hers. Hiring her may have been a mistake, but what’s done is done, and the
fact that my chest hurts at the mere mention of her leaving makes me realize
that there is no way I can let her go now.

CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN

EVELYN

“Hans is on his way to
the airport.” Sebastian doesn’t even look up from his computer when I speak.

“Fine.
Good.” That’s his way of dismissing me, and he’s been talking to me like that
all day. What the hell did he kiss me for the other day, if he was just going
to follow it up with ignoring me completely? I didn’t hear from him at all on
Sunday. The kiss on Saturday was passionate, but we both agreed when it was
over that we couldn’t let it go any further. But that didn’t stop me from sort
of expecting him to show up at my door the next day. Or was that hoping more
than expecting?

I
turn on my heel and leave, unwilling to show him that this whole thing bothers
me. It shouldn’t. I don’t want to get involved with my boss again, and I
decided that even before I knew what kind of a man Sebastian really is. All the
complications he comes with. Working for him is enough. I don’t need to be
involved any further.

I
sit down at my desk, my computer monitor shining back against me and open to
the next bit of work that I need to get started on.

Only
I can’t get that kiss out of my head. I haven’t felt so weak-kneed since I was
a teenager, making out for the first time with Tommy Knacker. He was on the
football team, and just about all of my friends thought he was the hottest guy
in school. He was the whole reason I tried out for the cheerleading squad,
despite not having much of a sense of balance or any ability to kick or jump
above my waist. I didn’t make the team, of course, but later on Tommy came up
to tell me that he thought my tryout went well, and he thought it was crap that
I didn’t make the squad. I knew he was lying, but it was nice to hear. So nice
that I let him feel me up behind the bleachers that night as my tongue touched
a man’s for the first time. Butterflies and weak knees don’t begin to describe
that first real experience, and I had figured those feelings were reserved
strictly for first time high school love affairs, since I’ve never felt them
again since.

Until
Sebastian.

The
kiss on Saturday felt more meaningful, even, than both times we’d had sex. I
mean, the sex was amazing. It was raw and powerful and filled with emotion, but
a completely different kind. It was pent up sexual desire and pure physical
attraction that was given free reign to express itself.

The
kiss, though… it stirred up feelings that I haven’t felt in a long time. With
Edward, our relationship was more about comfort. I was new to the city, he was
my powerful boss who was showing interest in me. I was getting more
responsibility in his company, and I think I equated that with being loved
despite the fact that we would barely spend any time together and he was busy
fucking that blond bimbo at the office. I never felt that tingly, stomach
churning, wobbly feeling when we kissed. Even at the beginning.

Why
am I feeling it now, for a man I barely know? What is it about him that turns
me on and strikes me so deeply? It’s not like he has done anything incredibly
romantic for me. Sure, he’s stood up for me against Edward. Twice, actually. But
in between he’s been nothing but a jerk. Hell, two seconds before he kissed me,
he was yelling at me. Then I slapped him. I’ve never actually slapped anyone
before, despite lots of people deserving it. It was just a reflex, really,
after accusing me of agreeing to go back to sleeping with Edward in return for
my old job back. Why would he say that?

What
does he care, anyway? I don’t owe him anything. I haven’t even been here a week.
It’s not like it would hurt him if I left.

Not
professionally, anyway.

Does
Sebastian have feelings for me? Did he get so angry because he was jealous?

The
thought of that big, strong, menacing biker lashing out in a fit of jealousy
brings a smile to my face. I shouldn’t really care. We aren’t getting together.
It would be a complete mistake. One I’ve made before and swore not to make
again. But Sebastian and Edward are two very different men.

Yeah.
Sebastian is much more dangerous.

And
a hell of a lot sexier.

Before
I realize what I’m doing, I’m standing back in Sebastian’s doorway, staring at
him. Even when I step over the threshold, he’s completely oblivious to my
presence, his eyes focused on his monitor.

Shutting
his door with a thud gets his attention.

“Evelyn?”
His dark eyes finally shift to me as he raises an eyebrow.

“What
the hell are we doing, Sebastian?”

“Well,
I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m trying to get some work done.”

“Not
with that. With us.” As soon as I say it, I feel stupid. There is no “us.” I
just sound like I have a stupid schoolgirl crush, but it’s too late. It’s out
now, so I have to just keep on going. “With that kiss. I thought we weren’t… I
thought you were going to fire me, but then you kissed me instead. Why?”

“Evelyn,
I don’t have time for this, I have work to do.” I can see by his expression
that he’s annoyed by the question, but too bad. I’m more annoyed at having to
ask it in the first place.

“No
time… right. You’re too busy running this big company by day and your club at
night. You have no time for anything. Except maybe slipping a tongue into your
assistant’s mouth. You had time for that. But there’s no time to talk about it,
right?”

“Evelyn—”

“I
know, I know. What’s done is done. Sebastian Redding doesn’t focus on the past,
he only moves forward. So was kissing me a mistake that you’re trying to move
on from? I want to know why you did it in the first place, about ten seconds
after accusing me of returning to be Edward’s whore, and about two seconds
after I slapped you for it.”

If
only I could read what he hides behind those dark pools of eternity that he
calls eyes. I would love to know exactly what Sebastian is thinking right now,
but his face is as unreadable as always.

“Romantic
relationships come with too much risk,” he finally says.

“All
we did was kiss, Sebastian. I’m not asking you to marry me. I just want to know
what the hell is going on. Either we’re working together, or we’re dating, or…
I promised myself that I wouldn’t mix the two again. But I can’t do that if…”

“I
know, it was a mistake. This whole thing is a mistake.” Sebastian lets out a
huge sigh and leans back in his chair, turning away from me to stare out his
window, as always.

I
blink, a pang of apprehension resonating through me. “What whole thing? Do you
mean hiring me? Or meeting me?”

Sebastian
doesn’t answer for a moment. When he does, it’s only one word. “Both.”

My
stomach drops so far down I’m sure it will splatter all over my feet. I quickly
turn toward the door. I need to get out of here. He’s right. This whole thing
was a mistake.

“Wait.”

I
stop, hand on the knob and ready to yank it open as tears begin to burn in my
eyes. This is so stupid. What the hell do I care about this job, or this guy? I
just met him a week ago. I don’t want him to see the shame I’m feeling at caring
so much, so I keep facing away even as I hear him get up and walk toward me.

“That’s
not what I meant. I mean, it is, but not the way you’re taking it. Not the way
it sounds.” I feel one of his big hands touch my shoulder, but I keep looking
away, trying to will the tears back down into their ducts before they start to spill
down my cheeks.

“Evelyn.
Let me explain. Please, come and sit down.” Gently, he squeezes my shoulder and
pulls to turn me. I let him, but keep my head down and yank away as I walk over
to the chair in front of his desk and drop into it.

“Fine.
Explain.” I can’t say anything beyond that without risking Sebastian hearing my
voice crack.

He’s
silent for a while as he walks back to the window that he loves to stare out of
so much. I can see the reflection of his face in the glass, but he’s not
looking back at me. He’s staring out, back to the east end of the city where
his club is. It feels like a couple of minutes before he finally speaks. It at
least gives me time to regain my composure. Gives me time to realize he’s
probably right. This was all a big mistake. I should have gone with my first
instinct when I turned this job down. I should have never agreed to give it a
try.

I
almost forget that he’s there and his deep voice startles me when he finally
begins to speak.

“I
told you before that the MC are like a family to me, but what you don’t
understand is how troubled they are. They’re on a dark path, Evelyn, and I’m
the only one that can keep them from self-destructing.”

“What
does that have to do with me? With us?” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my
voice, despite what I had just told myself seconds ago. It probably was a
mistake to start working here, but I want to be the one that decides that, not
him.

“This
whole thing,” Sebastian turns to face me now, gesturing around him and then
toward the window, “Piston, the MC… it’s a delicate balancing act. There are
about a million moving parts, and if one thing goes wrong, the whole thing
collapses. And it doesn’t just take me down. Piston employs thousands. Not just
in Chicago, but in three different countries now. And then there’s the MC. Those
guys… if the shit goes down for them, they don’t just lose their jobs. They end
up going to prison.”

For
all the control Sebastian has over his emotions, it’s clear that the idea of
all of that pains him.

“I’ve
spent years figuring out how to walk the tightrope between the MC and Piston. One
misstep, and it all comes crashing down. There are so many points of failure,
Evelyn. Too many variables. It’s hard enough for me to keep track of them, when
I’m the only one that can fail. To bring someone else into this…” I’ve lost him
again. He’s a million miles away, caught in the curvature of the horizon.

I’m
finally starting to understand him. I give him a moment and collect my thoughts
before I speak, trying to decide if I really want to say the words that are on
the tip of my tongue. But the longer they sit there, the surer I am that I have
to say them.

“You
don’t have to do it alone.” My voice is soft, and I’m not even sure that he
heard me until he shakes his head.

“It’s
not fair to bring someone else in. It’s not safe. The MC are… as much as I’ve
tried to reform them, it hasn’t really been working as planned. I underestimated
how much some of these guys enjoy being the badass. I can hand them a silver
fucking spoon, but they’d rather go and steal a copper one. These are still
dangerous men, Evelyn.” He turns to look at me again, his dark eyes hard and
his jaw stiff. “
I’m
still a dangerous man.”

I
know he’s trying to scare me, but I understand him now. I get what he’s doing,
and I’m not afraid. If anything, it just draws me in even more.

“I
want to help,” I say.

“You
can’t. Didn’t you hear me? I said that—”

“I
heard you,” I interrupt. “I want to help. I get why you needed to keep all of
this a secret. I understand what is at risk if the two sides get linked. But
the fact is, I already know about both of them. You don’t have to do this alone
anymore.”

“Why
do you even want to get involved?” His eyes are probing me, as if he’s looking
for my angle. His gaze is so powerful I can almost feel it penetrating me,
burning away each layer of my façade, but I let him look. There’s nothing to
find. No secrets, anyway. No hidden agenda.

“Because
you need help. This is too much to do alone, even for you. I think you’re
starting to see that now. Besides, you said it yourself, you and I are the only
ones that know about both sides of your life, and you aren’t willing to tell
anyone else. That means I’m the only one that
can
help you.” I pause and
smile, touching his hand. “Anyway, I’m your assistant, remember? It’s my job to
help.”