Simply Voracious (16 page)

She made her vows in a steady voice and so did he. Before very long, the ceremony was over, and the vicar pronounced them man and wife.

As they progressed down the narrow aisle, Paul held tightly to Lucky’s hand and managed to nod and smile at the guests. His smile faltered when he saw an all-too-familiar dark-haired figure in the back of the church. He paused for a moment and stared into Gabriel Swanfield’s dark blue eyes.

“I’m so glad you found the time to grace us with your presence, my lord, although I don’t actually remember inviting you.”

Gabriel bowed low to Lucky. “May I offer you my felicitations, my lady?” He turned back to Paul. “I was invited by the bride’s family. That is, I believe, the more traditional method.”

“Of course.” Paul nodded. “Then I’m sure you will join us at the wedding breakfast at Haymore House.”

Paul kept moving and handed Lucky into the beribboned carriage. She immediately dropped his hand and peered up at him.

“Are you angry because I invited him?”

“Not at all, my love. I have to face him at some point, and now is as good a time as any.”

She frowned. “I thought you were friends.”

He hastened to reassure her. “We are friends. He just tends to want to mother me a little, a habit I intend to discourage now that I’m a married man.”

She sat back and sighed. “We actually did it. We’re married.”

“Don’t tell me that you are regretting it already.”

Her smile warmed him. “Not at all. When we Haymores make up our minds, we can be remarkably stubborn.”

“I believe I inherited some of those traits from my father as well.” He leaned forward to capture her gloved hands. “I won’t let Gabriel ruin our day, and I promise I won’t elope with him either.”

That made her smile again, and he realized he was quite relieved. Seeing Gabriel had shaken him for a moment, and if he knew his blunt-speaking friend, there would be a reckoning to come. And he was almost certain that his answers would not satisfy Gabriel.

“Did I tell you that you look lovely in that gown?”

She smoothed her skirts. “Thank you. I wanted to look nice for you.”

“Not for yourself?”

“Well, perhaps a little.” She drew her cloak more closely around herself. “It is rather late in the season for such short sleeves though.”

The carriage drew up at Haymore House, and Paul realized that the entire staff had lined up to greet them. He supposed he’d have to get used to it. He could only hope that by the time he succeeded Lucky’s father to the title, it would feel commonplace. At the moment it felt stifling. Lucky, having been brought up with such grandeur, was unaffected by the display of bonhomie and made her way along the line, smiling and chatting to the staff. All Paul had to do was follow her lead, and the next moment they were in the house being offered a glass of wine.

After a while, he lost sight of his bride in the crowd of guests. Despite the wedding being small on account of the previous duke’s recent demise, there were still enough people to make Paul feel trapped. His hand was shaken numerous times and he felt as if his smile was becoming forced. Eventually he found his way over to one of the floor-length windows that faced out over the square and stared out at the trees.

He wasn’t surprised when Gabriel joined him. He knew the major suffered similarly in crowds. He looked up into Gabriel’s eyes and smiled.

“You might as well say whatever it is you came to say, and then we can both enjoy the rest of the wedding breakfast.”

Gabriel didn’t smile back at him. “I wish you’d written and told me what you intended to do.”

“Why? Do you think you still have the power to change my mind?”

Gabriel stiffened. “You know what I think. I am also aware that this misguided union is entirely my fault.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I abandoned you, and then I encouraged you to explore at the pleasure house.”

“I certainly didn’t feel abandoned, Gabriel, and you gave me a great blessing by setting me to work at Madame’s.”

“I didn’t expect you to fool yourself into getting married.”

“Fool myself?” Paul realized he was getting annoyed. “Are you suggesting that you’re in some way better than me? That you can get married, and I can’t?”

“We’re not alike. Did you do this to emulate me?” The emergence of Gabriel’s northern accent was the only indication that he was upset. “We’ve always had different needs.”

“Not always.”

Gabriel flushed. “I thought we had forgiven each other and moved on.”

“Perhaps our sexual needs are different, but I find it offensive that you imagine I would marry just for that.”

“Many men marry to hide their true natures. Perhaps I am concerned that Lady Lucinda is unaware of yours. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with you, but—”

Paul held up his hand. “Gabriel, you have waltzed in here without bothering to ask for my side of the story and made several assumptions that are not only wrong but
incredibly
insensitive.”

“But—”

Paul continued talking over the interruption. “I married Lady Lucinda because
she
needed
me
. I did it for her. That is all there is to it. Any other motives you ascribe to me are completely wrong. And I resent your assumption that I make all my decisions based on sex.” He inclined his head a bare inch. “If you wished to find out exactly why I married, you only had to ask. Unlike you, I value our past friendship and assumed you would at least give me the benefit of an unbiased hearing.”

“Paul, this is ridiculous. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or condemn you. I’m simply trying to help.”

“Maybe I don’t need your help anymore, Gabriel.” He held the other man’s gaze, saw his mingled concern and puzzlement. “I have to go and find my bride. How long are you in town?”

“Only until tomorrow.”

“Then I’ll wish you a safe journey home.” Paul bowed. “Give my regards to your wife.”

Paul walked straight back into the center of the crowd and saw Lucky standing by herself near the fireplace. She put her hand on his arm when he drew near.

“I thought you weren’t going to argue with Lord Swanfield.”

“I wasn’t, but he made it impossible to resist.”

“Does he not agree with our marriage?”

“Oh, he likes you. He just doesn’t think I should ever marry.”

Lucky squeezed his arm. “What a dog in the manger.”

“What?”

“He doesn’t want you himself, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.”

“Lucky, that’s hardly the case.”

Before he finished speaking, his new bride was walking determinedly toward his first love. He contemplated stopping her but was reluctant to draw anyone’s attention to a potentially disastrous altercation. Somewhere within him, the thought that she was on his side and determined to defend him made him feel warm.

Even though Lucky smiled as she approached Gabriel Swanfield, he still looked as if he might bolt. At the last moment he appeared to collect himself and offered her a slight smile of his own. “My lady.”

She turned to face the window and he followed suit. “Lord Swanfield, would you mind if I was a little blunt with you?”

“I’m from the north, my lady. We are famous for our bluntness. Please, be my guest.”

Lucky took a deep breath. “Then please don’t worry about me. I know everything there is to know about Paul, and I still wanted to marry him.”

“Everything?”

She met his skeptical blue gaze. “Indeed. I know that he was in love with you for many years.”

Pain flickered behind Lord Swanfield’s fine eyes. “I was aware of that.”

“And I’m sure you want Paul to be happy, don’t you?”

“With all my heart.” He hesitated. “I’m just not certain if this is best for either of you.”

“If it is what we both want, perhaps you could find it in your heart to be glad for us?”

“My lady, Paul is my best friend. Of course I want him to be happy, but doesn’t the mere fact that he loves me, another man, give you pause?”

“You think he can’t love me as well?” Lucky swallowed hard. “Don’t you think that is rather arrogant of you? If there is anything I know about Paul, it is that he has a great capacity for love.”

Lord Swanfield let out his breath, his gaze straying over her shoulder toward Paul. “He does and you are right. I should never have attempted to interfere.”

Lucky put her hand on his arm. “I will keep him safe, my lord, I promise you that.” She smiled. “At first I thought you might be jealous, but now I realize you speak out of concern for him.”

“I do love him, my lady, just not in the way that he wants.”

“And I love him, too, also not quite in the way that he wants, but I’ll do my very best to make him happy. He probably hasn’t mentioned it, but he has sacrificed a great deal by marrying me.”

Lord Swanfield brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “By your leave, I will go and try and make my peace with him.”

“I’m sure he’ll be delighted. He cherishes your good opinion.”

She watched him walk away and approach Paul, who welcomed him with a certain reserve. She was convinced the two men would find a way to overcome their differences. Their relationship ran too deep to be destroyed over this. When Paul smiled up at Lord Swanfield, she fought her own pang of jealousy. Would he ever want her with the intensity that he’d wanted Gabriel? She wasn’t sure if it was in his nature, but some part of her still yearned to be needed like that.

She stared hard at the two men and promised herself that she would indeed do all in her power to make Paul happy.

13

P
aul paced the rug in front of the fireplace and contemplated the door that connected his bedroom to Lucky’s. They had considered going away after the wedding, but the duke and duchess volunteered to leave them in the huge Haymore town house for the first week of their married life. It was an offer Paul gratefully accepted, due to his still-limited funds and lack of his own home.

He hadn’t decided if they had made the right decision or not. He was also far more nervous than he had anticipated. The solemnity of his wedding vows was a more binding thing than he had expected.

And seeing Gabriel again . . . Paul sighed. He was glad they’d come to some measure of agreement before Gabriel left. The interesting thing was that he’d been more angry than upset. To his amazement, it seemed that, in the months since Gabriel’s marriage, he’d actually achieved a measure of acceptance and independence. He could only wish he felt the same about Constantine Delinsky, who didn’t seem to have Gabriel’s concerns about loving another man and just
loved
.

But this was no time to be thinking about Con. He had to face his bride and let her decide how she wished to proceed. The way she’d gone straight to Gabriel and spoken up for him still amazed Paul.

That she thought him worth defending was harder to fathom. He was so used to being a disappointment to people that he’d grown into that role and allowed his peers to treat him as if he were of no account. But that would have to end. He had to be there to support Lucky.

He walked across the dressing room that divided their suite and tapped on the door of Lucky’s bedchamber. When she bade him enter, he pushed open the door and went in. She was sitting in one of the chairs beside the fire, her feet tucked up underneath her like a little girl. She wore a long white nightgown and her hair was loose around her shoulders.

She didn’t look apprehensive or horrified by his appearance, and that made everything a little easier. Despite the dramatic change in their circumstances, she was still a familiar and calming presence.

“Are you tired, Lucky?”

She looked up at him. “I suppose I should be, but my mind is so busy I don’t think I will be able to sleep at all.”

Her tone was conversational, and he relaxed even further. He took the seat opposite her, and her gaze fastened on his silk dressing gown and bare feet.

“It’s certainly been a long, exhausting day.”

She rested her chin on her drawn-up knees. “Was it very horrible for you?”

He found himself smiling at her. “What a peculiar thing to say. You would think I’d been forced to marry a dragon instead of a very charming and courageous woman.”

“I didn’t mean me. I
meant
that it must have been trying to be with all those people. I know that you don’t like crowds.”

“Neither does Lord Swanfield.” He wanted to kick himself for bringing up that particular name at that particular moment.

“I noticed that. He looked almost as uncomfortable as you did.” Her gaze dropped to his bare feet. “Did you settle your differences?”

“Indeed we did. Thanks to you.”

She shrugged. “It was bound to be difficult for him to see you getting married.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because he still feels responsible for you. He’s worried that you will make the wrong choice.”

Paul shifted in his seat. “He thinks I have.”

“And I told him he was wrong. I’m sure you did the same thing.”

“I did. In truth, I told him off for interfering.” He smiled slowly at her. “I wrongly assumed you would be more worried about me seeing Lord Swanfield and casting you off than worrying about him being jealous.”

“I knew you wouldn’t do that.”

“I appreciate your confidence in me.”

She shrugged and a long curl of brown hair slipped over her shoulder and landed on the soft swell of her bosom. He wanted to reach forward and touch it, see if it felt as soft as it looked. He glanced across at the large four-poster bed and then back at Lucky.

“Do you want to go to bed with me?” he said abruptly. “We don’t have to do anything but sleep.”

“It
is
our wedding night.”

“I know, but I promised you I’d abide by any decision you made about our physical relationship.”

She rose to her feet and looked down at him. Her nightgown was long-sleeved and had a high neck. It fell to the floor like a flour sack. “You don’t wish to make love to me?”

“If that is what you want, it will be a pleasure, but . . .”