Sinful Purity (Sinful Series) (16 page)

“I’ll come with you,” Lucy declared. I knew she wanted to be alone with Caleb.

“Okay, great. Liz, would you take this for me?” Caleb handed me his paintball gun to carry over to the grass for him.

Caleb and Lucy trotted off to the parking lot, leaving me standing alone next to Zack. Neither one of us seemed thrilled.

“Where did you want to sit?” I asked, trying to break the silence.

“Oh, um, just over here.” He pointed to a nice little meadow-like area next to the play field.

As we walked together to the picnic spot, I could feel the tension building.

“So, you and Caleb really like paintball, huh?” I asked in a pathetic attempt to be nice.

“It’s really more Caleb’s sport than mine. I run track.”

“Yeah, I know,” I snapped, unable to control my deep-seated dislike.

“About that, I didn’t mean to…”

“Just forget about it, okay? I shouldn’t have said that. I told myself I was going to try and be nice. For Caleb and Lucy, of course.”

“Right.” Zack’s face dropped. The silence quickly became deafening.

“So you said this is really Caleb’s sport. If you don’t like it that much, why do you play?” I tried to sound interested in an attempt to atone for my rudeness.

“Caleb and I have been roommates for a couple of years now. For my birthday a few months back he gave me a paintball marker and this jersey. We’ve been playing together ever since.”

I was surprised by his sincerity. The way he talked about Caleb, you could tell he was really a good friend and even a good sport. I didn’t like that Zack might actually be a nice guy. It complicated things.

We sat down on the grass and waited for Caleb and Lucy to return. I picked up Caleb’s paintball gun and started examining it. It was large, with a long barrel and a tank screwed into the bottom of the handle. Yet for its size it was surprisingly light. The body of the gun was brushed silver and the barrel was a beautiful blue anodized aluminum. I had to admit it was really flashy, just like Caleb. I turned the gun around, looking at every little angle. I had never seen anything like this back at MIQ.

“Hey, you should be careful with that,” Zack warned.

“Why?” I just finished the word when I heard a thrrrrump.

“Ow! Dammit, you shot me!” Zack screamed, grabbing his neck.

“Oh my God! I am so sorry. Are you okay?” Panicked, I crawled over to him. He was only maybe three feet away. If I’d shot him from this distance, he must be really hurt.

“I’m all right. I’m all right, relax.” Zack spoke reassuringly. A chuckle escaped, and then he broke into full-blown laughter.

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t think it’s funny.”

“I’m fine, look.” Zack pulled his hand away and wiped the green paint from his neck. “Look, I’m just going to have a small bruise. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, I thought I really hurt you.” I was sincerely relieved that I hadn’t killed him.

“You know what this means, right? Now we’re even. You can’t hate me anymore.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said, smirking.

We both started laughing. Our feud seemed silly after my nearly killing him. Caleb and Lucy walked up with the picnic basket and a blanket.

“What’s so funny?” Lucy asked, looking at Caleb, confused.

“She shot me!” Zack announced, still laughing.

“Liz!” Caleb scolded.

“It was an accident, I swear. I was sitting here looking at your gun and it went off.”

“Dude, she hit me in the neck. Who you gonna believe?” Zack asked.

“Honest, Caleb, I didn’t mean to,” I pleaded.

“Well, if it was an accident, maybe you should shoot him for real this time,” Caleb encouraged with a big laugh.

“I just might.” I tried to act like it was a good idea.

Zack and I stood up and helped Lucy and Caleb lay down the blanket and unpack the food. The picnic was a beautiful idea. I had never been on a picnic. But I didn’t want to tell them that. They’d just think I was a freak. I remembered the way Brett would always weird out and run off after I said something like that. I remembered my first kiss and my first birthday cake both ending so badly. I didn’t want that to happen now with my new friends. So I just acted like it was no big deal. We sat and talked and nibbled on fruit, crackers, and cheese. Not having eaten before we left the dorms I was really glad the guys thought to bring food. I just wished I wasn’t so uncomfortable that I could enjoy it. Instead my stomach knotted tighter.

Caleb talked about paintball and how much he loved it. He was so animated like a little kid.

“Your gun is really pretty, Caleb.”

“Thanks, but it’s called a marker.”

“A what?” Lucy asked.

“A marker. The field officials want everyone to say marker. That way the game doesn’t seem as violent.”

“It still seems violent,” Lucy commented, watching the playing field closely.

“Not really, we’re not shooting people. We’re just marking them,” Caleb said.

I agreed with Lucy. “Looks like shooting to me.”

“Sorry, man, but I’m going to have to agree with them,” Zack chuckled, looking at me. “I feel like I’ve been shot.”

“How fast do those balls go, anyway?” I asked.

“The electric semiautomatic markers like mine fire at three hundred feet per second,” said Caleb, once again spewing facts. I was impressed by his knowledge and wondered why he had such a difficult time in school. He seemed very smart.

“Wowee, that is fast!” The speed amazed Lucy.

“Is that how fast the ball was going when I shot him?” I asked, pointing to Zack.

“Well, I think that rage makes it go a little faster,” Zack teased, rubbing his freshly bruised neck.

“Watch out, man, she might just shoot you again,” Caleb jabbed. He, Zack, and Lucy laughed as I sat quietly in my embarrassment.

After our picnic, Caleb took Lucy to show her how to fire the marker. Lucy was very excited about the private lesson. This left me alone with Zack. We cleaned up the trash, packed everything away, and folded up the blanket. I didn’t just want to sit there with him. I had no idea how long Lucy and Caleb were going to be, so I tried to stay busy.

“We should probably go put the basket and blanket back in the car,” I suggested.

“Oh, okay. I’ll go in a minute. It’s a nice day. Why don’t we just enjoy it?”

Zack leaned back and lay down in the grass, looking up at the sky. He seemed so peaceful lying there all stretched out with his arms under his head. I couldn’t help but notice how his jersey fell tightly across his perfectly sculpted abs. The sun glistened off his face, making him look almost like one of the stained glass angels in the windows of St. Matthew’s. I was starting to understand why all the girls liked Zack Bartlett—although I still had my doubts about him being a nice guy.

He must have realized I had been staring at him for a creepily long amount of time because he rolled over toward me. “So, Elizabeth, tell me something.”

“What?”

“Anything. Tell me anything about yourself.”

My least favorite subject. I didn’t know what to do. I was sure he couldn’t guess my secret, but I still felt transparent. “There’s not much to tell,” I replied, thinking that was a safe response.

“I doubt that. I’ll tell you what, I’ll ask, you answer, okay? Where you from?”

“I’m from here, Chicago.”

“Really? You don’t strike me as a Chicago girl.”

“I don’t know why. I’ve been here practically my whole life.”

“You just don’t seem like it, I guess. I’d peg you as more of a country girl. Maybe Midwest—no, Northeast. Vermont or New Hampshire. Yeah, that’s it.”

“It sounds like you think you know me pretty well.” The irritation grew in my voice as I spoke.

“No, I don’t think that at all. I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“Don’t bother,” I said coolly.

“Maybe I want to bother. That is, to get to know you.”

“I don’t really see the point.”

“Oh, you don’t see the point. Okay.” Zack rolled over again, gazing back up at the sky.

“Good,” I huffed as I turned away from him to face the field.

Lucy and Caleb came walking back up. It was obvious that Zack and I were not speaking.

“Went that well, huh, guys?” Caleb asked.

“I’m ready to go, if you don’t mind, Lucy,” I commanded more than asked. I was determined to leave as soon as I could. I did not want to spend one more moment with Zack Bartlett.

“Yeah, man, I’m ready too,” Zack told Caleb, sounding almost as irritated as I was.

Lucy and I said goodbye to Caleb and walked to our car. I was waiting to see how long Lucy could go without tying to pry what had happened out of me. It took all of forty-five seconds. We were still in earshot of Caleb and Zack when she asked, “Would ya like to tell me what happened?”

“Lucy, I don’t know what to tell you. Zack Bartlett rubs me the wrong way.”

“Darlin’, I don’t know if ya realize, he is the most popular guy in school.”

“I don’t care about that, Lucy.”

“Let me put it this way, hon. Do ya have any idea how many girls would line up to have Zack Bartlett rub them
any
way?”

“I’m sure there would be a line around the block. In fact, he’s probably already ‘rubbed’ half of them.”

“Honey, I think he likes ya.”

“Lucy, I don’t care. I do not like him, okay?” I asserted, ending the conversation.

Lucy took me back to the dorm. She said she was going to meet up with Caleb somewhere. I thanked her for the ride and then headed up to my room. I spent the rest of the day in the dorm, doing homework in my room and laundry downstairs. Even with nothing but boring chores to do, it was still better than spending time with Zack Bartlett.

Sunday came and went. I helped out at the orphanage like always. I watched the elite and well-to-do parishioners come and go. I didn’t see Caleb anywhere. I didn’t really think he’d be there. He did say that only his family went to Mass every week, not him. I was hoping to see him, though. I felt bad about my behavior and wanted to apologize for cutting his and Lucy’s day short.

Monday came around and Caleb was still nowhere to be found. He missed both of the classes we had together. I didn’t know if he was sick or busy or just trying to avoid me. I didn’t have his phone number so I couldn’t call. As much as I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t mad at me, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to his dorm. I was not going to talk to Zack again. I had a hard enough time dodging him in the one class we shared. Lunchtime wasn’t all that pleasant, either. I had to watch him and his friends being loud and obnoxious while skanky girls hung all over them. It was disgusting. What made it worse was that he kept looking over at me, watching me. I didn’t know what his problem was, but I wasn’t going to find out.

I did have a chance to apologize to Lucy. She was really sweet about the whole thing. She didn’t make me feel bad or anything. After school I went straight to St. Matthew’s. I hurried through my work, and for the first time since school started, I got back to my room before nine o’clock.

Caleb was back in class on Tuesday. I was glad to see him. He didn’t seem mad at me at all, so I just let it be. I didn’t apologize or anything. I didn’t want to bring Saturday back up. After class Caleb went to find Lucy for lunch. It kind of seemed like they were becoming a thing. I knew it
wasn’t official yet or anything, but I still thought it was great. They both were really nice people and should be happy. Just like every day, the three of us went through the lunch line and back to our secluded little table.

“Hey, Liz,” Caleb said. “I hate to bring up a sore subject, but Zack wanted me to invite you to his track meet this Saturday. I thought maybe you could come too, Lucy.” There he was again, Caleb the planner.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It would just end badly,” I said apologetically.

“Come on, Liz. It won’t be that bad,” Caleb promised.

“I don’t understand why he’d want me to go anyway. Last time we were together I shot him. I think that’s bad enough.”

“Oh, Liz,” Lucy said. “Ya already said it was an accident. Plus it’s a track meet. How dangerous can that be? Please come.”

“I’m sorry. I still don’t understand. We don’t even get along.”

“Liz, isn’t it obvious? He’s interested in you,” Caleb confided.

“I seriously doubt that.”

“Liz, it’s true,” Lucy confirmed. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Then he’s not only a jerk, he’s an idiot too,” I snapped.

“Look, Liz, here it is, okay?” Caleb said. “Zack likes attention. He’s used to it. You don’t give him any. It drives him crazy.”

Caleb’s summary only left me with more questions. “Then he’s insane. But if you guys really want me to go, then I’ll go,” I yielded.

There was no way out of it. I felt roped into going for Caleb and Lucy. Yet there was still a small part of me that wanted to see Zack again outside of school, away from his muscle-building minions. I didn’t think it was because I was interested in him or anything. I just really wanted to know why he was interested in me. I wasn’t special or gorgeous or easy like the rest of the girls who swarmed around him. Why would he be interested in plain old me?

Lucy picked me up Saturday morning. Zack’s track meet was at another university about forty-five minutes away across the Indiana border. I remembered how Brett would drive from Gary, Indiana, every couple of weeks to visit Kelly and me. I missed them so much. Kelly was always Kelly. You could depend on her to tell it like it was. Brett, on the other hand, was so incredibly sweet. He always made me feel better, safe, and less sorry for myself. Above all, he made me feel special. I missed the comfort and security of both him and Kelly. I really liked my new life, of course.
I was finally free, which was all I’d ever wanted. It was just that every day, I had to meet new people. Every day I had to make a first impression and consider theirs as well. For someone who’d only met a handful of new people in the last thirteen years, it was a lot to ask.

I thought about Zack. Maybe I’d misjudged him. I didn’t have a lot of experience with first impressions. It was possible that I had jumped to the wrong conclusions. He did seem nice that day at the paintball field. He didn’t even get angry when I shot him or when I was rude. Maybe it was me all along. Maybe I was the one who was the idiot. I decided I would let today decide for me. If Zack was nice, then great, maybe we could become friends. If he was his typical jerk self, then forget it, I wasn’t even going to try. I felt better now that I had thought everything through. All I had to do now was wait and see.