Sin's Haven (11 page)

Ben did as she
asked and turned so that she could see what had been done to his back. A warm
compress wouldn’t have helped. This nasty bruise needed ice and showed up like an
angry red blotch against his pale skin. She forgot to warn him that she was
going in with the ice. Ben’s upper body tensed as soon as she pressed it along
his left side. He wasn’t racked with bulging muscles but his sleek build
reminded her of the long, sexy bodies of the Olympic swimmers. She shouldn’t be
craving closeness, not tonight of all nights, but she was.

“Sorry, I should
have told you,” she said, meaning it in so many ways.

“That’s okay.
Hey, Hazel, are you okay? I guess now’s as good a time as any for us to talk.”

She blew out and
watched a trail of goose bumps take up on his skin. Of course, because she had
a freezing cold ice pack stuck to him and now she was making it worse by blowing
on the poor man. Would this guy ever catch a break with her? But to answer his
question, was she okay?

The reason
they’d had the fundraiser Saturday was because the anniversary of Jay’s death
was tonight and neither she nor Mark wanted to have her up on stage dealing
with those emotions. Instead, here she was with Ben, trying her best not to let
it out in front of him. She was okay, but this might not be the best time for
talking. And she’d worked from six a.m. until a few minutes ago, at two a.m.
Every muscle in her body was done. The hold she’d kept over her emotions wasn’t
far behind.

Ben eased back
around to face her. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“Your face,” she
said, uncomfortable with his gratitude, seeing again what some jerks had put
him through because he’d been waiting for her. The wet rag, now cold, would at
least feel good on that lip. She pressed it gently to his mouth. “I’m so sorry,
Ben.
For everything.”
She emphasized everything. “I’ve
only known you a few days and it keeps ending up bad for you.”

She continued to
dab gently at his facial wounds.

“Not all bad,”
he said, waited a moment and then looked away.

Her throat felt
like it would close up on her.
“No, not all bad.”
She’d
imagined how wonderful being with him would have been. Had he done the same?
Absent any actual memory of the night?

“About
that.”
He blew out. His inability to hide his nerves touched her so deeply. “I owe you
an apology. I’ve never done that to a woman before.”

She’d been
worried about that. “I understand, Ben. You don’t have to explain yourself.” Nerves
had her dry lips sticking together and her responses not fully thought out. But
he’d just answered the question of whether he liked women or men, proving she’d
lost all sense about other human beings.

Hazel considered
telling him it hadn’t happened, that he could go back to his life with whoever
his partner was and not be worried that he’d actually been with a woman. But
he’d just said their night hadn’t been all bad. She knew he meant the part
about being with her. And his hand had fallen on her knee while she wiped at
his lip. She should at least help him out with any future female contact he
might have.

“Ben,” she said
and dropped her free hand to cover his on her leg. “I know you’re not meaning
to do this.
Even though I really appreciate how open you are
and touchy-feely.
I used to be that way too. But this, your hand on my
knee, it might be something you want to avoid when you’re around women. It’s
really hard to ignore and sends the wrong message.”

“The
wrong message?”

“Yeah.”
But
his expression told her he didn’t understand. “Your hand there makes me think
you like me.”

He cleared his
throat. “I do like you.”

Still
not getting it.

“I mean, like
you’re interested in me.
As a woman.”

He tugged a hand
back through his bangs, sliding his wool hat off and then replacing it. “I am.
That’s why I left you the note.
After I got yours.
And gave you my number.
I know I suck at this whole guy-girl
thing but I didn’t realize I was this bad.”

She blinked but
had to know. “You’re not gay?”

“Are you being
serious?”

“Oh
my God.”
Her hands flew up to cover her face in sheer
embarrassment. Ben wasn’t gay. This marked the third time she’d humiliated him.
“I’m an idiot.”

Literally, when
she looked up he was scratching his head with one hand and the wool cap was in
his other, tucked to his heart.

****

Ben
could see she felt horrible. He could tell her it wasn’t the first time someone
had thought that about him and been wrong, but what he wanted was to show her.
After he made sure she was okay. Her eyes still looked troubled to him, distracted.
Half the time he’d been here on her couch, she’d gone from seriously eyeballing
him to pulling away with tears welling up. It dawned on him that this was what
happened when a guy slept with a woman without even knowing her name. He’d put
her in this place. It was his job to get her out of it.

“Hey, chin up, buttercup.”

Good, she
smiled, that worked.
Now don’t let me
screw the rest of this up.
He could get through the few things he really
wanted to know about her, no matter that she couldn’t stop looking at his
pecs
, or lack of
pecs
but still,
she was definitely checking him out. These would have to be rapid fire
questions because her looks were killing him.

“So what’s your
favorite color?” he asked.

She wasn’t full
blown smiling but her face had relaxed.
“Green.”

“Oh, that’s a
good one. One of the best, I hear. Where were you born?”

Smiling softly,
she said, “Music City, USA.”

“Ah,
local girl tried and true.
Cool. I like that.
Um,
favorite food?”

“Ben, you’re
really finding this stuff amusing, aren’t you?”

He set his hat
on the arm of her couch and nodded his head.
“One hundred
percent.”
He reached for her hand and even though it tweaked the pain in
his back, kept it there until she set her fingers over his.

“Okay, but no
judging.” Was she blushing, over food choice? Oh, this might be intense. He
hung on her next words, dying for her to finish. “I love Mark’s nachos so
much,
I eat them every night at the club.”

God, she was so
freaking hot and crazy to be sitting here talking to him like this holding
hands. Her lips moving, answering his questions reminded him how badly he
wanted to taste her. And if he was imagining their connection, he’d at least
have a clear memory of the deliciousness this time.

“What about the
nights when you’re not at the club?” He rubbed the tops of her knuckles and
then moved to the inside center of her palm.

“I make sure and
bring some home when I’m there in the morning. And there aren’t many nights I’m
not there.” Hazel’s gaze slipped from his face to his rubbing of her palm.

“Work,” they
said together and shared a small chuckle. Ben reached his other hand up to hers
that was still holding the soggy towel. Those fingers were moist and cool. They
would feel like magic on his face, his lips,
his
chest.

“Just a couple
more questions,” he said, his voice coming out lower than normal.

“Two more,” she
said, echoing him but sounding slightly adamant at the limit.

“Do you like
camping?”

He caught her
off guard with that. “Camping? I think the better question is
do
you like camping? You don’t seem like the outdoorsy type.”
He watched her eye his bracelet-covered wrist.

“Well, you were
wrong about me liking dudes so I might be a secret survivalist for all you
know.”

She paused and
waited for him to come clean. She hadn’t bought it but she was grinning and so
much more relaxed than when she’d been about to cry earlier.

“You have a
point.” When she said that, she squeezed his hand, exciting him, making him
hope for a lot more touching. He’d held back all night, but Ben’s body wanted
her and when he thought of it, it showed. He needed her to see what she did to
him, no, to feel what she did to him. A spot broke in his resolve and he opened
his legs wider, feeling himself becoming more and more aroused.
Harder than he’d ever been for
Erby
.
And now he knew why. That hadn’t been real. This, crazy as it sounded, was.

“You didn’t
answer my question, Hazel.”

This time she
swallowed. “I haven’t been camping in a while, but I think I might be willing
to go with someone as fun as you, Ben.”

It was funny how
she kept reciprocating every time he used her name.

“So it’s a
date?”

“Is that your
second question?” Her eyelids dropped closed over those gorgeous blue eyes of
hers while he held his breath, afraid she was about to say no.
“Just kidding.
Sure, it’s a date.”

The curls
falling around her face moved when he let that breath out.

“Hazel?”

“Yes?”

“I’m finding it
really hard not to kiss you right now.
But not if this is too
fast again.
Not if I hurt you or messed up the other night. I know
something’s not totally right and I know it’s my fault.”

This woman’s
direct, deep stare would flip his world or calm it. He had no idea which. But
when she
teared
up again, he was at a loss.

“Hey, hey what’s
a matter, beautiful?”

It was so dark
outside and the only way he could see that she sniffed and wiped a hand across
her nose was from the overhead oven light coming from her kitchen and built in
lights illuminating her entertainment center. Ben instinctively pulled some
long, hanging curls from her face and tucked them behind her ear.

But she still
wasn’t talking. When a large tear filled her eye and then fell out onto her
cheek without her blinking, he grabbed both her hands in his and squeezed.

“Hey, I know we
barely know each other, but you can talk to me.”

“Ben, I’m sorry.
How embarrassing.”

He soothed her
hands and wiped the tear away. “No, don’t be embarrassed. Not around me, okay?”

She nodded and
wiped at her nose again then let him recapture her hands in his. She looked at
him for a few sobering seconds and then her eyes told him she was about to be
blatantly honest with him. “Have you ever felt like you weren’t enough for
someone? No matter what you did or how much you tried?”

He did. Ben nodded,
careful not to knock heads with her.

“You know me
better than you think,” he told her earnestly.

His own heart
plummeted a little down that slippery slope he liked to call Mt.
Erby
but he stayed in the moment with Hazel who was pouring
her heart out to him. Something was behind her words and tears, he just wasn’t
sure what. And the way she stayed so close to him now, made him think maybe it
wasn’t their one night stand. Someone else had hurt Hazel.

His entire being
on fire and ready to soothe her, he did his best to bring back her smile.

“Let me properly
introduce myself. My name is Benjamin Wright. And the answers to those burning
questions…Stripes, Barstow, Cheeseburgers, and I’ve gone camping every year for
as long as I can remember but this is the first time I’m looking forward to
it.”

He swallowed
just as she laid her fingers on his chin.

No wonder he’d
slept with her. It was hard to think straight with her touching him like that.
She was an amazing woman. He wanted to make love to her. A woman like Hazel
should never feel like she wasn’t enough.

****

“Stripes
isn’t
a color.” Maybe she shouldn’t have said it but it was
either that or
kiss
him until neither of them could
breathe. She craved the latter, but if she did that, the night wouldn’t end until
they’d slept together.

Ben’s large,
gentle hand cupped the side of her head, pushing a wave of her curls up against
her cheek and a flood of warmth through her body. If she’d ever been ready to
let go, not think, and just feel, it was now. Her emotions were shot but her
body cried out.

Attraction and
something born of mutual longing had inched them closer together until they ran
out of inches and ended up nose to nose. Despite the fact she’d been like a
wrecking ball on his manhood the whole week, here he was.

“Red, that’s my
new favorite color,” he said in a deeper voice than before, tilting his head so
that their noses no longer sat tip to tip. She felt his skim across the top of
her cheekbone while his whiskers scraped against her jaw. Her breasts ached to
be free and share in the scraping sensation of his stubble rubbing back and
forth while she cradled his head.