Sins of the Father (43 page)

He paused, lowering his eyes momentarily before going on to describe what had happened
to him, the horrors he had seen. ‘I know I was weak, know that other men got over it, but me, well, I turned to booze to drown out the memories. I know it’s not much of an excuse, love, but it’s all I’ve got. When I married Polly and we moved to Kent, I gradually came to my senses, but it was a long time coming. I just wish I hadn’t made your mother suffer so much.’

Emma found that she too had to lower her eyes. Like her father, she had once turned to drink, living her life in a fog of alcohol until she’d fallen pregnant. Yet her excuse was nothing compared to her father’s. God, he’d been through hell!

Still she hesitated, but then her father said the words she had longed to hear and her heart skipped a beat.

‘Emma, as I said, I know I ain’t been much of a father, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am, but I love you, girl. You were my firstborn, and so much like your mother that it breaks my heart to look at you. Can’t we let bygones be bygones and start again?’

This was the father that Emma remembered, the one who, when she was child, had sat her on his lap, cuddling her, but he had left, gone to war and she hadn’t understood. All she had felt was abandonment, especially as the man she remembered had returned a stranger, one who never showed her an ounce of affection.

‘Oh, Dad,’ she gasped, her bitterness draining away. ‘Yes, I’d like that.’

‘Right then,’ he said, smiling widely. ‘Give me a cuddle and then let’s talk about Luke.’

Emma found herself with her father’s arms tight around her. They remained like that for a while, but then slowly drew apart.

‘The police still haven’t found Luke,’ Emma said.

‘Yeah, I know. How do you feel about that?’

‘I don’t know, Dad. I’ve got mixed emotions-part anger at what he did, but I can’t help feeling pity too. Terry said he thinks Luke’s mind has turned, and that worries me.’

‘Me too. And talking about Terry, from what Dick told me he sounds like a nice bloke.’

‘Oh, he is, and I’ll never be able to thank him enough for finding Tinker.’

‘Kidnapping ain’t something the police take lightly, and if they catch up with Luke he could go away for years. I can understand your anger, love, but if he ain’t right in the head, I think that rather than being locked away, he needs help.’

‘I’m just nervous that he’s still at large. What if he tries to take Tinker again?’

‘I wouldn’t worry about that. Luke might be off his head, but he’s never been stupid. He’s probably miles away by now.’

‘I hope you’re right, but I still want him found.’

‘They’ll catch him eventually, and when they do, we’ll talk again and take it from there. Sufficient unto the day, as the saying goes.’

Emma nodded, and when her father began to question her gently about the brothel she was open with him, spilling it all out, finally saying, ‘I was desperate for money and thought it was the only way.’

‘Yeah, well, I can understand that, but you’re the last person on earth I expected to run a brothel. When Dick got in touch and told me, you could have knocked me down with a feather.’

‘Dad, when Tinker went missing, he…he told me what you said, that…that I deserved it.’

‘Oh Christ, I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean it, Em. It was shock, guilt, and as soon as I said the words I wished I could take them back.’

‘Guilt?’

‘Yeah, I was riddled with it. I left London a bitter man, full of self-pity that you wouldn’t sell this place to buy a pub. I cut you out of my life, refusing to pass your letters on to your sisters, thinking that you were sitting pretty, when all the time you were struggling, driven to running a brothel.’ He raked his fingers through his hair. ‘Christ, of course I was full of guilt. I was doing all right in Kent and could have helped you, and if I had, none of this would have happened. Not only that, I gave up my two youngest, and though
I know James and Archie have had a good life with Alice Moon, I should never have let them go, Em.’

‘You…you’ve seen them?’

‘Yeah, but they didn’t really know me. They’re big lads now, and it didn’t take me long to realise that I wasn’t needed in their lives. Alice and Cyril are their parents now, and they’re happy kids. Alice didn’t want to rock the boat, but she said that when they come of age she’d explain it all to them, and then, if they want to, they can get in touch. It’s no more than I deserve and the best I can hope for.’

Emma lowered her head. How could she blame her father? She’d been no better, wanting them to go to Alice so she could find a job, and look where that had led! She could have kept in touch with them, but she hadn’t, and now, like her father, she regretted it. ‘I know how you feel, Dad, but we’ve got to put it behind us. Guilt eats you up–look at me, I’m proof of that.’

‘Yeah, girl, you look like you need feeding up.’

There was the sound of footsteps, and Emma smiled. ‘That’s sounds like Tinker. Come on, Dad, it’s time to meet your granddaughter.’

Tinker was thrilled to meet her grandfather, the two of them hitting it off immediately.

‘Gawd, Em, she’s just like you and as pretty as a picture.’

She smiled, her heart light as she watched the two of them getting to know each other, cooking them breakfast, and when her father left it was with promises to bring Bella and Ann to see her. Emma couldn’t wait, hugging herself with excitement.

It took Tinker a while to settle after that, but at last she was absorbed in painting a picture, whilst Emma thought about her family. Her heart soared now that they had reconciled, to know that her father loved her. She had no interest in riches now, but did she have the right to deprive her daughter of financial security? For a while she continued to ponder, but then rose to her feet, a plan forming in her mind.

‘I’m just going to make a telephone call, Tinker.’

An appointment wasn’t easy to arrange, the solicitor’s office being in Liverpool, but thankfully they had a branch in London and said they would transfer the papers there. As Emma replaced the receiver, she smiled.

It was a week later and, with Doris looking after Tinker, Emma made her way to the solicitor’s office. Of course her friend had been delighted that she had made the decision to accept Horace’s money, but if her plans could be arranged Emma imagined Doris was in for a shock. Of course, until she saw Horace’s will, she had no idea if her
ideas were possible, but her fingers were crossed in anticipation.

On arrival, Emma shook the man’s hand, showing him her marriage lines and Tinker’s birth certificate. When the formalities were over, she had been handed Horace’s death certificate, the cause a sexually transmitted disease. Emma shuddered, knowing how it affected the body and brain, so much so that she had ensured her girls received regular medical checks. It seemed ironic, sad, that Horace had died such an awful death.

The solicitor then patiently took her through Horace’s portfolio, and her head had reeled at the amount of money and property he’d accrued.

‘Your husband’s will is explicit, with the bulk of his estate being put into a trust that will mature when your daughter is twenty-one. He has however added a provision that will allow you to apply to the trust for such expenses she may need, her education for example. He has also left you two thousand pounds and the deeds to his house in Clapham.’

Emma was delighted and eagerly put her ideas to the solicitor. She then said, ‘I’m glad that my daughter’s future is assured and though I originally intended to say I didn’t want anything from my late husband’s estate, I’m glad I changed my mind.’

The solicitor raised his eyebrows. ‘Yes, well, I’ll
be in touch as soon as probate is granted. In the meantime, if I can be of any assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact me.’

Realising that the appointment had come to an end, Emma rose to her feet. She shook the man’s hand and left the office with a spring in her step. She was thrilled for her daughter, thrilled that she would never know poverty, and with her own inheritance she could carry out her plans.

When Emma arrived home, Doris was obviously itching to hear what had happened.

‘Most of Horace’s estate goes to Tinker, and that’s wonderful,’ Emma told her, ‘but he’s also left me the house and a bit of money.’

‘Blimey, that’s smashing.’

‘I was relieved to find that Horace left me anything, but thinking about it I don’t understand why. When he left, Horace acted as though he hated me, and refused to believe that I was carrying his child.’

‘Maybe he found out his mistake. Maybe it was guilt, and let’s face it, he must have known that Tinker’s his. I mean, why else would he leave her all that money?’

‘Yes, it’s possible, but I don’t want the house.’

‘You’re mad, Em! Think about the struggle you had, how you had to run a brothel to survive, and all because that bastard left you.’

‘If truth be known, I was glad when Horace walked out. He may have left me that house, but I hate it now, hate what I allowed it to become, and I don’t want to benefit from it ever again. In the meantime I’ll accept the money, not that it’s a vast amount, but added to the sale of this place, it will ensure that I can manage until Tinker reaches maturity. I can also apply to her trust if necessary, so we’ll be fine.’

‘Leave it out, love. If you sell next door too, you’ll be in clover. Cor, wait till I tell Terry. He’ll be dead chuffed for you.’

Emma forced a smile. She was finding it increasingly difficult to see Doris and Terry together, but she had so much to thank them for. Doris looked so happy nowadays, her face bright, obviously thanks to Terry, and now she hoped to increase their happiness. ‘Oh, don’t worry, I’ll sell Horace’s house, but the money will be shared out. You’ll benefit and, added to your savings, I think it’ll be enough for you to buy a little place of your own. The rest is going to my brothers and sisters. My dad’s all right, he’s got the pub, but I’ll treat him to a little something too.’

‘A house! Me!’ Doris cried, throwing her arms around Emma.

‘Come on, don’t go to mush,’ Emma said. Gently she pushed Doris away and went to the window, seeing Tinker playing happily in the garden. Her
heart lifted every time she saw her now, but she still feared for her safety. The cottage in Wales was empty, and until the police traced Luke, she was terrified that his twisted mind might lead him into trying to snatch Tinker again. She kept the house like a fortress and her daughter in bed with her every night, but sleep was elusive, her ears pricked for every sound.

Doris spoke again, dabbing at her eyes. ‘I don’t know what to say, well, other than thank you, but that hardly seems enough.’

‘You’ve been a good friend to me and deserve it. Now come on, I don’t know about you, but I’m worn out and could do with a cup of tea.’

‘Yeah, I must admit, you do look a bit washed out and you’ve got dark rings under your eyes. What’s the matter? Ain’t you sleeping?’

‘Not very well. I’m frightened that Luke will try again.’

‘Well the answer’s under your nose. Why don’t you ask Terry to move in for a while?’

‘Oh yes, that would be wonderful, and of course you must move in too.’

‘I must say it’s tempting, but I can’t. I start my new job tomorrow.’

‘New job! But that needn’t stop you, and I can’t see Terry living here without you.’

‘Em, I don’t know what you’re on about. It won’t make any difference to Terry, and anyway, I didn’t
know that I was gonna be able to buy my own place, so I’ve got a live-in job.’

‘But the money is for both of you…so you can buy a house together. If you take a live-in job, Terry will hardly see you.’

‘A house together! You must be joking. After kipping in his spare room for so long I should think he’ll be glad to see the back of me.’

‘But…but I thought…’

‘Yeah, I know what you thought; even though I’ve told you time and time again that me and Terry are just friends.’ Doris sighed heavily, obviously exasperated. ‘Look, love, when are you going to see the light? There’s only one woman for Terry and always has been. It’s you he loves. When are you going to admit that you love him too?’

‘He loves me? Oh, Doris!’

‘Yeah, that’s brought a spark to your eyes, and now it’s up to you to do something about it. Shall I ask him to call round later? Though I’d like to be a fly on the wall when you tell him how you feel.’

Emma couldn’t believe it, could barely take it in. She hugged herself, daring to hope. ‘Oh, yes. Yes, please!’

Emma’s stomach fluttered with nerves as she waited for Terry. She had put Tinker to bed, read her a story, relieved when she soon fell asleep, and was now applying a little powder and lipstick.

At half-past eight there was a knock on the street door and, trembling, she went to answer it.

‘Hello, Em,’ Terry said, his forehead furrowed. ‘I don’t know what this is all about, but Doris said you want to see me. She also said that I had to wait until the nipper’s in bed.’

Emma found herself suddenly shy. ‘Yes, that’s right. Please, come in.’ And with her face flaming, she kept her back to him as they went through to the drawing room.

‘Doris said you’re not sleeping because you’re worried that Luke might show up.’

‘Yes, that’s true,’ Emma said, ‘I’m frightened he might try to take Tinker again.’

‘Well, worry no more. He’s been caught and is in custody.’

‘What! How do you know?’

‘Because I’ve kept in touch with a copper who tipped me the wink.’

Emma sank onto the sofa, her emotions all over the place. Luke was in custody, locked in a cell, and though she felt relief, she also felt her heart going out to her brother. He had taken Tinker, and it had been terrible, but he had acted out of a misguided love. He hadn’t wanted Tinker tainted and now Emma knew he was right. She wouldn’t have been able to protect her daughter for ever. One day Tinker would have found out how her mother made money, and how would that have
affected her mind? If Luke hadn’t intervened, she would have just carried on, obsessed by money, running the brothel until it was too late.

‘Oh, Terry, will I be able to see him?’