Sirensong (37 page)

“All depends where that hand ends up, doesn’t it?”

Right now, it rested right at the bottom of my rib cage, the thumb stroking idly back and forth. The touch was hot and soothing all at once.

“So what are you doing here, really?” I asked. “I can’t believe my dad or any of the rest of the crew would leave you alone in a bedroom with me.”

He made an exaggerated face of innocence. “I can’t imagine why not.”

“Ethan…”

“Kimber was here to watch over you,” he said. “I threatened to do something unpleasant to Keane if she didn’t give us some alone time. She threatened to do something even more unpleasant to me if I didn’t behave like a gentleman.” He shuddered theatrically. “You won’t tell her about the hand-up-the-shirt thing, will you? Because I think we’ll both end up missing the parts she removes with a rusty spoon if she finds out.”

I laughed and blushed at the same time. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

To show his appreciation of my restraint, he bent down and kissed me until all my thoughts and fears retreated.

I don’t remember falling asleep again, but I must have, because when I next opened my eyes, it was dark out and Kimber was back on guard duty. She was reading another huge tome—its binding green instead of red, so I knew it was a different book—this time sitting on the bed beside me with her back propped up against the wall. I tried to be quiet about it as I sat up and yawned, not wanting to startle her as I’d done earlier.

I felt better. I was stiff and achy from too much time in bed, but my mind felt a whole lot clearer. My stomach rumbled loudly, reminding me that it had been at least twenty-four hours since I’d last eaten.

Kimber put her book aside. “Sleeping Beauty awakens,” she said.

I responded with an unladylike snort. I didn’t want to know what I looked like right now, but I figured I was more likely to break mirrors than win over Prince Charming. I rubbed at my gritty eyes and tried a tentative stretch. I really wished the Fae had coffee, because I sure could have used some.

“How are you feeling?” Kimber asked.

“Alive.” That was the best I could say about my condition at the moment.

“Oh, good. I wasn’t looking forward to dragging your corpse down to the caravan in the morning.”

“Huh?”

“We’re leaving. First thing in the morning, whether you’re up to it or not. I’m not quite sure if Titania kicked us out, or if your dad just decided it was time to go. Strangely, people don’t seem to want a one-woman killing machine around.”

Well, that answered the question of whether my friends knew what I did to Henry. I guess if I were an immortal Fae, I wouldn’t want to be around someone like me, either.

“Your dad hired some locals to provide horses and supplies,” Kimber continued. “We don’t get a royal escort this time.”

I grimaced. “Considering what happened the last time we had a royal escort, I’d say that’s a good thing.”

“Couldn’t agree more. Now get out of bed and get washed up and dressed. You need to stuff some food down your gullet and regain some strength. After that, your dad wants to talk to you.” Her grin was almost evil. “I think you’re grounded until the sun explodes.”

I had a feeling that once we got back to Avalon, I was going to be spending a lot of time in my safe house. That would get old fast, I knew, but right now, I’d have liked nothing better than to be curled up in my own bed.

“There’s no place like home,” I murmured under my breath, and wished for some ruby slippers.

My knees almost buckled when I got out of the bed. Kimber reached out to steady me, but my knees firmed up before I did a face-plant.

“Wow,” I said. “I’m worse off than I thought.” And tomorrow, I got to go horseback riding. Oh, joy.

“You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten. The magic hangover is hitting you extra hard because you’re half-starved.”

My stomach roared in agreement, but I wasn’t quite ready to get moving yet. Kimber was acting like her normal self, but I couldn’t help wondering if she was just being nice to me until I got better.

“So, um, are you still speaking to me?” I asked.

She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me. “Yeah, I’m still speaking to you. I’m going to be speaking to you
a lot
over the next few days.”

She looked angry and implacable, and I knew her words were meant to be something like a threat. But I had to fight off a smile anyway. I’d happily listen to as many stern lectures as she wanted to give, as long as she stayed my friend.

I avoided going to see my dad for as long as I could. I mean, yeah, I wanted to see him, wanted to assure myself with my own two eyes that he was okay. Facing his anger was a whole other question.

I followed Kimber’s directions to a little sitting room where every horizontal surface that wasn’t a seat was covered with bowls of fruit, or pastries, or bread. There was also a vast selection of different teas, and a steaming pitcher of water. Even not being a tea fan, I made myself a cup, wanting some liquid to wash the food down with.

While my tea was steeping, I put together a plate of the most recognizable of the fruits along with a thick slice of bread and some kind of turnover. When I sat down on one of the chairs with my plate on my lap and reached for my tea, I saw that the water pitcher was still filled to the brim and steaming.

Magic water. I’d never seen that trick in Avalon. Then again, in Avalon we had electricity and water mains.

My stomach wasn’t up for a big meal, but I ate as much as I could before heading back toward the suite of rooms where we were staying. My hands were clammy when I stood in front of my dad’s door and tried to get myself to knock.

It wasn’t that I was afraid of my dad. I knew he’d never hurt me. But aside from the fact that I’d taken what he was sure to think were unacceptable risks in coming back to the palace, he had now learned a whole lot of secrets I’d been keeping. Things I should have confided in him, just as I should have confided in Kimber. And let’s not even talk about the fact that I’d killed someone. Someone my dad hated, but still …

Maybe knowing about my secret spell, my dad would be afraid of me. The thought made the hunk of bread in my stomach feel like a lump of lead. Even the Erlking had been unsettled when he’d learned what I could do, but I wasn’t sure I could stand it if my dad suddenly looked at me as if I were something dangerous.

I guess I wasn’t completely silent, because as I stood hesitating, trying to find the guts to knock, the door swung open.

My dad was dressed in what was, for him, casual clothes: wool slacks with a button-down oxford shirt. A kink in the leather of his belt showed that he’d had to go down a notch to make it tight enough, and the shirt looked almost baggy on him. I felt my lower lip start to quiver as I thought about how terrible an ordeal he must have been through to lose that much weight in so little time.

Dad pulled me over the threshold and into a hug before I had time to get too maudlin. I hugged him back and tried not to notice that I could feel his ribs.

“I was afraid I’d lost you,” my dad said, his voice all husky like he was about to cry himself. “I was so sure bringing you here was the right thing to do, and I almost got you killed.”

I hated hearing the pain in his voice. I’d have preferred he yell at me, like I’d expected him to. Of course, I was sure the yelling would come eventually. Not that he ever really
yelled
. Yelling was too undignified. But he could give the softest whisper the same bite as other people could give a full-throttle bellow.

“You had no way of knowing,” I said, surprised that he was still hugging me. Effusive displays of emotion were not his thing.

“I
should
have known. I should never have risked you.”

“Dad, I’m all right. And you’re smart and all, but I don’t see how you could be expected to know Henry had a Faeriewalker daughter and wanted to eliminate the competition.”

He finally released me from the hug, though he kept his hand on my shoulder as if afraid I’d disappear if he didn’t hold on.

“He told me you’d been caught,” Dad said, his eyes haunted. “He told me they were torturing you for information and there was nothing I could do to save you. I knew he was probably lying, but I couldn’t be sure…”

I assumed “he” was Henry. Somewhere along the line, I’d lost all hint of guilt about killing him. The idea that I’d killed a person still gave me the shivers, but I was glad Henry was dead, and knew that if I had it all to do over again, I’d do the same thing. If there was anyone who needed killing, Henry was it.

“I’m all right, Dad,” I said, though he could see that for himself. “I’m actually more worried about you and Finn. You’ve lost so much weight…” I hadn’t seen Finn yet, although Kimber had assured me he was okay.

Dad sighed, finally letting go of me and moving to a pair of chairs facing an empty fireplace. I followed and sat down, though I watched his face carefully. He’s usually really good at hiding his feelings, but he wasn’t doing such a good job of it today. That told me more than I wanted to know about what he’d been through.

“It was an ordeal,” he admitted, his eyes saying “ordeal” was too mild a term. “I won’t insult you by lying about it.” Was there a hint of reproach in those words? “But I’m not going to give you the details, so don’t ask. We will both recover fully, and that’s all you need to know. You can pester Finn about it tomorrow when we leave, but right now, you have a whole lot of explaining to do.”

And just like that, my dad was back to being himself again, giving me that stern paternal face he had perfected. Usually, I’d either dig in my heels when he looked at me like that, or I’d start feeling guilty, but today I was just glad he was alive and well. And I knew that however mad he might be at me for the chances I had taken, he could never make me genuinely sorry for it.

Thanks to my dad’s skillful use of the standing stones, it took us only three days of easy travel to reach the Avalon border. Titania had offered to send a couple of her Knights with us for security, but my dad had declined the offer. No, I wasn’t what you’d call completely safe. Despite his nasty personality, Henry surely had friends who would hate me forever for killing him, and we had no way of knowing if Mab still wanted me dead or not.

“The extra security would be nice,” my dad told me, “but I suspect the Knights would be there more as spies than protectors, and I’d rather do without.”

When he put it that way, I couldn’t help but agree. Besides, the six of us all by ourselves could travel at a quicker pace than we could if we had another handful of Knights—and their supplies—with us.

That last terrible day in the woods seemed to have changed something between Ethan and Keane. Not that they suddenly liked each other or anything—they still bickered enough to make themselves truly annoying—but I no longer got the feeling they might burst into violence at any moment. Even when Kimber and Keane weren’t as sneaky about stealing kisses as they thought.

When I saw how Keane looked at her when she wasn’t looking, I stopped worrying that he was using her to get to Ethan. Maybe it had started out that way, but it was definitely more than that now.

Everyone was still pretty mad at me for all the secrets I’d kept, particularly Kimber. But I got the feeling it was the kind of mad that would fade away in time. I’d come close to completely destroying our friendship, and I knew it. I couldn’t swear I’d never keep a secret from her again—after all, I
was
still keeping a secret, enforced by the Erlking’s geis—but I was going to make every effort to be as open with her as humanly possible.

You might think now that I had an arrangement with Titania, my dad would finally ease up on some of the paranoid security measures he’d been taking to keep me protected. Like maybe he would let me live with him in his real, normal house instead of keeping me entombed in my underground safe house. Or that he might decide I no longer needed a bodyguard twenty-four/seven. If you think that, you don’t know my dad.

Sure, I’m in a much safer position than I was before my trip to Faerie. Before going to Faerie, we’d thought both Queens wanted me dead. Maybe Mab still does, but even if Titania might prefer I be dead, she isn’t going to try to arrange it. I pointed out to my dad that everyone now knew how dangerous I was in my own right. At which point my dad pointed out that now that people know about my spell, they’ll be much more able to avoid it. I’ll still always be vulnerable to the surprise attack, or to overwhelming numbers.

Dad has a point, but I can’t help wondering if maybe some of the security stuff is just a way of keeping me from being alone with Ethan. There are times when Dad treats me like he thinks of me as a responsible adult, but as soon as Ethan enters the picture, I become a little girl again. Dad won’t forbid me from seeing Ethan, no matter how little he approves, but he’s going to make damn sure the two of us never have enough privacy for things to go too far. (Dad’s definition of “too far” being anything past first base, as far as I can tell.) Apparently now that I no longer have my agreement with the Erlking forcing me to chastity, my dad is convinced I’ll turn into a sex-crazed teen and let Ethan get away with anything he damn well pleases.

I’d never admit it out loud, but in some ways, I’m glad for my dad’s overprotectiveness. I love Ethan, and I love knowing that I’m no longer under the Erkling’s thumb. I love knowing that when I’m ready, we can go all the way. But I know I’m not ready yet, and as long as my dad doesn’t give us alone time, I don’t have to tell Ethan that.

I’m trying to be more trusting these days, I really am. But it’s not so easy to change who I am at my core. I tell myself that Ethan would be just fine with waiting until I’m ready, and most of the time I actually believe it. But there’s a part of me that fears if I tell him no, he’ll start pushing. Or worse, that he’ll dump me. If this thing between us is ever going to go to the next level, I’m going to have to face that fear eventually. But for the time being, I’m perfectly happy to let my dad’s rules and regulations make it a moot point.