Read Sister Slam and the Poetic Motormouth Road Trip Online
Authors: Linda Oatman-High
I smiled, and filed the
moment in my memory.
“Drive defensively,” I said.
“You never know what kind of
maniac's going to smash into you.”
Twig and I
started our day jobs
the next morning.
“Is that a Twinkie?” asked Twig,
and I hid the cupcake behind my
back.
“Ssh,” I said. “
Twinkie
is a curse
word here in the health food world.”
After work, Twig and I entered a frenzied
night world of swirled words,
on the brink of something big.
The gig was packed,
with hackers selling tickets
at hiked prices outside.
By Friday, when it was time
to tell Jake and
his parents good-bye,
Twig and I had made enough money
to rent a miniature persimmon-
walled room with no furniture.
“We need a sofa and a chair,”
said Twig, combing her hair.
Her voice echoed in the empty room.
“No, first we need beds and
food,” I said.
“I'd say that your first priority
is a good bolt for the door,”
said Jake. “You've got to be safe.”
Jake checked the window, making
sure that it was locked.
It was a full moon.
“See you soon,”
Jake said to Twig, and
we went outside.
Jake intertwined his fingers
with mine, and my skin tingled.
“See you next week,” he said,
and he kissed my cheek.
I said okay, and
my head ached as I
watched him walk away.
In the morning, I called Pops
from Scarecrow's shop, filling him in
on everything that had happened in one
short, important week.
“You're not getting
married or anything?”
Pops joked.
“I'm a wide-load
bride,” I replied.
“I'm married to poems;
carried across the threshold
of a whole new life!”
“Just be careful,”
Pops said. “The city
is so big.”
It was time for the whirlwind
to begin. The gigs were a blur,
a haze of faces and words.
Sometimes, hearing my
own husky voice slicing spicy through
the microphone in a dusky, musky room,
I thought of how nobody would
believe this back home.
With elastic disco clothes and
purple plastic bows, I was spastic.
“We are Sister Slam,
Twig, and the Poetic
Motormouth Road Trip!”
I screamed night after
night, spazzed by success.
I jolted the groupies
with tick-tocking
bolts of shock, kicking
butt when the tickets
sold out and the doors
were locked. It
rocked when a fan-man
named Brock asked
for my socks as a souvenir.
“Here,” I said, and I tossed my
stinky socks into the crowd,
where there was a loud scuffle
as three guys tried to grab them.
It was surreal: a crazy-hazy
daisy petal of a heavy metal
dream made real by just
stealing words from
the dictionary and mixing them up.
“We're missionaries,”
Twig said one night.
“We preach the letters of
the alphabet, and how they
can save you, if you
combine them just right.”
I stopped having stage fright,
and wore lots of white leather
and feathery boas, with psycho
go-go boots from The BoBo Shop.
“You look hot,” Jake said,
on the weekend.
“Not,” I said.
“Hot,”
he said. “I should stay
here all week
to protect you from the freaks.”
That night,
in the violet
spotlights, a strange shining
knight in silver armor
invited me to a toxic waste site.
“Red spider mites bite
you until you turn blue,”
said Mister Cuckoo.
“No, thank you,” I replied.
“But I love you,”
said the man, and it
was the sock fan Brock, screaming
heebie-jeebie-like.
“Jake!” I yelled,
and he came
from backstage
and stood by my side.
“I'm her bodyguard,”
he said. “Protector
of the Sister. Don't
mess with her.”
The cops came and shoved Brock
from the club, and Jake looked buff
with his Sister-protecting biceps flexed.
“See,” Jake said.
“You need me
to protect you from the freaks.”
“Right now,” I said, “I need sleep.”
“Me too,” said Jake. “And my
parents will kill me if I don't
get home.”
Twig and I were hip, our lips slicked
watermelon pink and our hair
streaked with the color of
the week. We reeked
of rhyme and wrote poems
all the time. Twig and I also
bickered like sisters over stuff like whose
turn it was to wash the dishes.
“I wish I had my own place,” Twig
complained after telling me what
a pain I was. “You're hard to live
with,” she said. “Kind of a diva.”
I got a slim Creamsicle-colored cell phone
with a ding-a-ling ring, making sure that
the call zone included Jake's home.
On weekdays, I missed Jake like crazy,
and I wrote a boatload of woeful
wicked Jake-sick poems.
We spoke every day
on Jake's lunch break
at Doozy's Music Store.
“What's up?” Jake would say.
“Everything's okay,” I'd say.
One day, Jake sounded
blue. “I'm really missing
you,” he said.
“You have no clue.”
“Oh, yes, I do. I miss you, too.”
It was a flurry of busy stuff:
a Marshmallow Fluff cream-puff existence.
But the phone rang late
one starless
September night when
the sky was crying
and black, and it
was Twig's dad, Jack.
“Laura,” he said,
out of breath,
“your father had a heart attack.”
I crumpled
to the floor.
“I can't handle it
if I lose my only
parent,” I said out loud.
“There's no way I can
be an orphan. A girl
needs a parent on this
scary planet.”
I needed to ditch
this city, quick,
and make my way
to the Banesville Hospital,
but I had no car of my
own. Twig and I
sometimes borrowed
an old gold
Ford, but it was a loan
from Scarecrow.
Home. I want to go home.
I ripped a comb through my hair
and stepped into a pair of sweatpants
and boots. I was still wearing my Misfits
nightshirt.
Home. There's no place like home.
I was Dorothy in
The Wizard
of Oz
, but Sister in the City,
clicking together the heels
of my glittery red Doc Martens.
“Twig,” I said, and she sat up,
rumpled and bleary, mascara
smeary, weary from a late-night slam.
“Pops had a heart attack.
I need to go home.
Are you with me,
or are you staying here?”
“I'm with you, come hell
or no hair gel,” Twig said.
“But what about
how you jumped out
of the car on the
way here?” I asked.
“Temporary
carsick-chick insanity,”
said Twig. “You know
we're superglued at the hips,
and at the hearts, too.”
I tried to smile.
“Should we take a bus
to Banesville?”
Twig suggested.
“Or maybe it'd be best
to take the train.”
Shaky, quaking, scared awake,
I called Jake, even though it was late,
to get his advice.
“Sit tight,” he said.
“I'll be right there.”
Jake must have raced, and his
face was pasty white when
he squealed and peeled
to the curb, then leaped up
the steps six at a time.
“Oh, my God.
You have hives!” he said,
touching my neck.
I was a wreck,
stressed breathless.
“I'm glad you're here,”
I blubbered, then collapsed
into Jake's strong embrace.
He stroked my face.
“It'll be okay.
We'll pray, okay?
No way that it won't be
okay,” Jake said.
“Yeah,” Twig agreed.
“Pops is strong.
Nothing will go wrong.”
“Let's roll,” Jake said, taking
control, which was my goal.
We piled into Jake's
car and started
on the far drive home,
leaving the neon
lights and taxi traffic
of the city behind.
In the dismal darkness
of the Lincoln Tunnel,
I blew my nose
on a paper napkin
I'd found on the floor
of Jake's car.
“Thanks for coming
with me, you two,” I said.
“We'd be maggots
not to go with you,”
Jake said,
and he reached
over and squeezed
my hand.
“This is what friends
are for: to stick with
you when life sucks,” Twig said.
“Life does suck on
occasion,” I said.
When I was nine,
and Pops told me
that Mom had died,
I'd thrown myself
on my bed, hopeless and angry,
banging my head
and wishing that I were dead
instead of her. I wore
Mom's flowered nightgown
that night, and about a thousand
nights after,
holding tight to the scent of Mom.
“If Pops dies,” I said, “I won't be able
to handle it. It'll kill me.
I can't go through it again.”
We each melted
into our seat-belted selves
and rode in eerie silence
until the knifelike
sharp lights of the hospital
whittled holes in the sky,
carving, cutting through darkness,
as I hoped with all my breath
that my pops wasn't dead.
It smelled like
Lysol and dying
flesh and wet diapers
in intensive care,
where defenseless
people have to wear
those senseless gowns
that are all open down
the back, exposing
butt cracks and stuff.
It was bad enough
that Pops was in
the hospital,
but seeing him sleeping
in that dressâ
pale and helplessâ
made me catch
my breath.
It felt like
death, and
hearses, and I
accidentally
cursed at a
nurse clomping
past, chomping
on Starbursts.
“Quiet! Holy
hell! Can't you
tell people are
trying to sleep
in this bleepin'
place?” I raged.
Then I felt like
an imbecile, because
I made more noise
than the nurse.
Pops opened his eyes.
“Laura,” he whispered,
his words a wisp.
“Baby. I was going
crazy, waiting.”
I cracked, and fritters of Sister Slam
fell in fragments to the hospital bed.
I kissed Pops's
creased cheeks
nineteen times each,
weeping like a freaking idiot.
Pops's face was tinted
ghostly Coast-soap
blue, and I didn't
have a clue
what he was hooked
up to.
An IV, beeping machines,
a tangled
ivylike vine
of wires, and lights
like fires burning were all
connected to Pops.
There was a
lighted road map
of his heart
on a screen.
The room was dim,
and we were lit
by the red lights
of Pop's broken heart.
The old geezer
Doctor Proctor
(known by everybody
in Banesville)
was wearing cruddy green
scrubs with
red blood blotches,
and he was crotchety.
“The surgery went fine,”
he snapped. Then he gave me
a line of crap about how
my father was bothered
by his daughter's AWOL,
and how I ought to be ashamed
and maybe even blamed
for causing all the stress
and distress that might
have made
Pop's heart explode.
“Whoa, dude,” said Jake.
“Nobody's to blame.
No offense, sir,
but it's not
Laura's fault.”
“No, it's not,” said Pops.
“It's not Laura's
fault. It's all the
malted milk shakes
and Tastykakes I ate.
Give Laura a break, Doc.”
“Put a sock in it,” said
Twig, as Doctor Proctor
stomped off without another word.
Pops grinned. “Hi, Twig,”
he said.
Twig leaned over Pops's
hospital bed and kissed
his bald head.
“They said I'm lucky
to be alive,” Pops said.