Six Guns Straight From Hell - Tales Of Horror And Dark Fantasy From The Weird Weird West (9 page)

Bleeding the Bank Dry

by

David Boop

“
Let me get this straight,” asked the vampire Lord Daniel, “you want me to turn your brother into a vampire so you can rob a
bank
?”

It wasn't that he hadn't heard weird requests in the 413 years he'd spent on this immortal coil, but this had to be the worst scheme ever concocted. He raised an appraising eyebrow at the three dusty ranch hands assembled before him; two young men and a boy on the verge of that distinction.

They were haggard and nervous. He hadn't expected them to be this anxious after they'd gone to such extremes to track him down. Through his series of contacts, he heard they'd asked every voodoo witch, grave digger, and priest in the southwest part of the United States. It was only a matter of time before word of their search reached the only actual vampire in the area. Daniel wasn't concerned, as they'd made too much noise to be hunters. No, these three boy-men were none-too-bright. Goodness, the youngest was still a virgin.

They were dressed in dungarees and chaps, their shirts layered with the Arizona dirt they crossed to reach his haunt in the old Anasazi dwelling. He could smell the rapids of blood pumping through them and it was only his damnable curiosity that kept him from ripping their throats open to feast.

They nodded affirmatively to his initial question. “Yes, sir… er, Lord Daniel,” the oldest one said. Not that Daniel was the lord of much these days. He'd taken to ruling the recently-christened Colorado State from an abandoned cave dwelling, trusting his familiars to alert him when the occasional straggler traveling west would be close enough for their master to invite to sup. Vampires didn't need to feed as much as legends said, but they did need human blood.

“
But not just any bank, sir.”

The middle one fidgeted the whole time his brother talked. He looked nothing like his sibs. While they were fair-haired and skin, his hair was brown, complexion weather-worn and temperament moody. He didn't even try to hide his displeasure at being there. Maybe this was because he was the one chosen for Daniel to convert. It wasn't that he was just at the angry age when fights came easier then patience. There was a seething under the skin, like a demon looking for compensation for being born. The dark pink scars that marred what would have been a handsome face were testament to that. The Vampire knew about demons.

Daniel took him in with a hungry glance the young man noticed. Instead of cowering, the young man struck back verbally, “What kinda name is Lord Daniel? I thought all yous vampires had funny soundin' names.”

The oldest tried to stop his brother's rant, “Paul! You just shush your mouth. That is no way to talk to his lordship.”

“
Ha! Lordship? Hell, how do we even know he's a vampire? He could just be some crazy kook who gots a bad bit of desert fever.”

Daniel smiled. Regardless of their plan, he was going to enjoy hearing the screams of this one as his life fluids drained away. If Paul was any stupider, the vampire would consider it a mercy killing.

“
First off… Paul, was it? We don't choose the name we are born with or die in.
Daniyyel
was my name in life as it is in un-death. If you'd prefer to call me Mephistopheles, go right ahead, however, I'll be less inclined to do the favor you request if you don't show me respect befitting my station.”

“
Your what?” inquired the smallest one.

“
Mattie! Not you, too?”

The youngest shook his mop of chestnut hair to correct his eldest sibling. “No, Luke. I wasn't meaning no disrespect. I just don't know what he means.”

The vampire leaned forward in his chair and answered the teenager, “It means, lad, my place in society. The vampire sits above humans, thus should be afforded the proper amount of reverence.”

But Paul wasn't done, “If you are so great, why you hidin' here in the middle of nowhere?”

“
Because those in power always have a target painted on their backs, boy. You'll know that if I grant your request.”

“
So, will you do it?” asked Luke.

The vampire sat back on the chair, twirling his hand to imply he wanted to cycle backwards. “Let's start at the beginning. You need to rob a bank, why?”

“
Cause we're going to lose our land!” spurted Matthew.

“
Pa died last winter and Mama's been having a hard time of it. They're giving her one month to come up with the mortgage or they'll take the ranch right from under us, Lord Daniel.” Luke's chiseled looks would make him a dangerously handsome vampire, but the last thing Daniel needed was competition. No, he'd have to drain him dry, as well.

“
Pa worked too hard to build up that ranch, and we've done alright, but not enough for the huge payoff they're askin' fer,” offered Paul.

“
If we can pay off the revenuers, then we can make it until the cattle sale up in Denver come first of the next year. Please help us, mister.” Matthew's big eyes glistened as he pleaded, reminding Daniel of a kitten begging for milk. There was so much sincerity in the boy's plea, it would have touched Daniel's heart, if he had a working one. Seeing those eyes close for the last time would almost be a pity.

“
And how does turning this one,” he motioned towards Paul, “help you, again?”

Luke actually beamed with some pride, probably since it was his idea. “They're going to build a new bank in Drowned Horse. It's like nothing you ever seen!”

“
I don't know,” mused Daniel, “I've seen a lot.”

“
Yeah, well, this is supposed to be made so that's no one can break in. They're digging a huge hole in the dirt. Then they're going drop a big metal box in the pit; blast proof, they say. There's stairs going down and a big safe door with a lock ain't no one gonna know all the numbers to it. The bank manager has the first number, the owner the second and the sheriff the third. “

The vampire raised a single pointed eyebrow. “And how do you know this?”

Two brothers turned to the third. Paul, a lopsided grin prominently displayed, gloated, “I've been courtin' Deborah Sue Zemanski. Her father's the one gonna build it. She showed me the blueprints. Sheriff is being real careful. Wants the folks to know that this bank is the safest in the West. They're gonna load it with gold and stuff. Has two armed guards on it all day while the vault's open.”

“
I still don't see the undead angle.”

Paul turned red with anger. “What? Does bein' dead make you slow, too? Vampires can do things, un-human things. You can turn to smoke and such. Matty done read all about them in some book.”

It was only the mention of the book that kept the dark lord from ripping Paul's head off. “What book?”

Matthew reached into a satchel he had slung around his shoulders. The book smelled new, but was worn around the corners from repeated reading. The youngest moved into arms' reach of Daniel. He bowed as he accepted the book.

A single word graced the tome's spine:

Dracula
.

Daniel thumbed through the pages. He caught passages here and there; the drinking of blood, the turning of men into undead servants, and the transformation of vampires into bats, wolves or smoke. The writer had some of his facts right, but mostly he drew from legends so far away from the truth it was ridiculous. The vampire's laugh bounced off the walls of the cave, making it seem much louder than it was.

“
This?” Daniel slapped the book. “This work of fiction is what inspired you to seek me out? You based your whole plan on this?”

Paul got redder. Matthew huddled behind his older siblings. Luke had the courage to step forward and, with hat in hands, asked what the dark lord thought was so funny.

“
Vampires can't change shape, can't fly or turn to smoke. It's simple physics. Where would my clothes go? I certainly can't change them into smoke. Even if I went into the vault without clothing, how would I get the money back out?”

The three brothers' faces turned white, as if Daniel had already drained their blood. Luke was the first to recover. “So, then what special powers do vampires have?”

“
You mean besides the ability to see in the dark and live forever? Well, as a race, we're stronger and faster than humans because we're not hampered by pain. As long as we have blood, we can exist underground or underwater for long periods of time without air. Without blood, we succumb to a dormant state and will eventually become one with the dirt we sleep in.”

The brothers contemplated this turn of events. “Wait!” said Paul, “I don't remember seeing a metal floor, now that I think about it. They're gonna pour concrete for the floor.”

Daniel was puzzled. “Concrete?”

Matthew, answered, “Yes, sir. It's this stone you make with water.”

“
I know what concrete is. The Romans used a variation of it long before some sheriff decided to make a vault from it.”

“
But a vampire could probably bust through it,” said Paul, “You said yous was super strong.”

Daniel acted insulted, “Cement is nothing, boy. Vampires break out of stone crypts occasionally. This should pose no problem.” He was exaggerating, of course. Depending on how thick the layer was, it could make the task arduous. The longer a vampire was without air and blood, the weaker he became. Guessing where Paul was going, Daniel asked, “So, then, your idea would be to bury yourself before they pour this concrete and bust through once the money has been placed in there?”

Paul nodded, and Luke asked, “You sure you want to do that, Pauly? Lot could go wrong.”

“
I'm sure. This is the only way.”

“
He'll need to be buried in a box, so he has room to move around.” Daniel could feel a touch of excitement. Not that he derived any pleasure from robbery, but the idea of breaking into a supposedly unbreakable bank did give his ego a boost. “Do you have an idea how long it'll take to finish the project?”

“
Three weeks,” answered Luke, “They're going to put the floor in end of the week.”

“
Three weeks is a long time for a vampire to be without blood.” Daniel looked around. Around his cave were crates and boxes of stuff he'd collected over his long after-life. He went to an ornate chest and pulled out a bottle. It was red quartz and glisten like a ruby in the torchlight. “Here, take this.” He handed it to Matthew. “Fill it with your blood right before you bury your brother. It has special properties that will keep that blood fresh up to a month. If he drinks it right before breaking through, he'll get a boost of strength.”

Luke reached for the bottle, “I'll fill it.”

“
No,” corrected Daniel, “Virgin blood is stronger.”

Matthew blushed, but Luke kept the bottle.

Daniel, knowing he was going to feast, wasn't going to ask for a reward, but Paul's attitude had made it necessary. “And to my fee, I want ten percent of your take.”

“
What does some moth-eaten vampire want with money?”

Daniel smiled, “Why, a weekend in New Orleans, of course.”

Without preamble, Daniel launched himself across the room and sunk his elongated fangs into Paul's jugular, relishing the fear that rushed through the young man's vein. Reflexively, Paul screamed and fought to get himself free, but Daniel wrapped one arm around him like a lover. The siblings yelled Paul's name and rushed forward, but Daniel held up a cautioning hand and they stopped.

The nectar was sweet and ended all too soon. Once the heart beat slowed to an occasional thump, Daniel released Paul and made a small slit in his own arm. He pressed the fleshy spigot to the man's mouth and commanded him to drink. Like a suckling pig, Paul drank until Daniel was confident the disease had been transferred.

Paul dropped to the floor and twitched. The others ran to him and watched with a mix of horror and fascination as their sib's scars vanished and the roughness of his skin smoothed. He was virginal again, handsome, reborn anew. It was too bad, Daniel thought, that he'd be nothing but trouble for him and the world.

“
Take him and keep him covered. Sunlight will burn him. Make sure he drinks before he goes into the ground and make sure that vessel is filled with some of young Matthew's blood. I'll expect my payment in one month. If not, I'll find and slaughter your whole family, starting with the youngling and leaving mom for last.”