Sleep Keeper (13 page)

A wall made of massive stone stood several feet in front of me. I turned around and the same image appeared to my right and behind me. I continued to spin in circles until the realization that I was completely trapped sunk in.

Oh my God, where am I?

The suffocating enclosure wasn’t more than six feet wide. A jolt of panic hit my chest and sent my heart accelerating faster. My head began to spin and the walls moved closer and closer in their attempt to strangle me. The air felt unusually hot; beads of sweat formed at my brow. I began to pant. Nausea rolled up through me and I fought to keep it down.

"Help!" I screamed.

Nothing.
"Somebody help me!" I pleaded.

Nothing again.

"Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together..." I tried to calm myself down before I hyperventilated. No good would come from passing out again.

Wiping the perspiration from my brow, I scanned upward and caught a glimpse of light shining through an iron grate roughly fifty feet above. Knowing there was access to the outside world made the panic demote to a roaring fear. I stepped closer to the wall, running my shaking fingers down its side. Its texture was smooth with deep ridges and grooves. I tried to grab a hold but couldn’t grip it enough to climb even a few inches.

A thought occurred to me that there might be another way out. I remembered back to the day outside of the cave when Orion and I were under attack by Draco. I held tightly to Orion and pictured the forest of our first encounter, and then we instantly appeared there. I was suddenly filled with hope. I thought of a place I wanted to be right now, the beach outside of Orion’s house. I closed my eyes and focused on that image…

I could practically smell the salty air and feel the cool damp breeze brushing against my face. I could hear the soothing sounds of the waves gently caressed against the shore. I even heard a seagull’s cry for prey overhead. I concentrated on the beach and pictured Orion sitting on the sand, caressing my hand. The vision was doing a great job of calming me down.

Go, go, go!

I opened my eyes in excitement to… a dark hole.

Grrr! Why didn’t it work?

Suddenly, the rustling sound appeared again from above, but this time it was amplified. I stared with my head snapped upwards, but only saw the faint beams of light far above. I was torn between relief that I wasn’t alone and fear of who might be out there. Dealing with whatever was out there sounded better than staying stuck in this coffin.

“Hello?” I called out.

An ear-piercing scrape echoed down the hole. I flinched and pinned my body against the wall. The grate slowly moved aside; small pieces of debris sprinkled down. I peered at the opening nervously, waiting for an inclination of what lay ahead. A silhouette appeared above, blocking out the sunlight. I held my breath.

"Alexis?"

A flood of relief washed over as I heard Orion's voice from above. "Orion! I'm down here! Oh, thank God!" I shrieked.

"I'm throwing something down, watch out!" he hollered.

Before he finished the sentence, a thick vine whipped through the air and coiled on the ground at my feet. I wasn't sure how I would climb it. I recalled struggling at the rope in high school gym class, and
that
even had knots.

"Grab a hold, tightly!" he yelled.

Obeying, I gripped the vine with both of my hands. Shifting the weight of my body to my arms, I curled up my knees and wrapped my legs around the vine.

"Okay!" I cried with a strained voice.

Before I could second-guess whether I was strong enough to hold on, I felt yanking, and the air whizzed quickly past. The next moment, I was squeezing my eyes shut from the blinding sun. I felt another soft pull as Orion’s arms wrapped around me. I felt instantly safe in his arms for just a second, before he pulled away.

“We have to go,” he said hastily, as he grabbed my hand and took off into the forest. We ran for several miles without looking back. I ran and ran, until the weight of the recent events came crashing down in my mind. I felt like I couldn’t breath and I started to stumble. Orion slowed just as my legs gave way. I fell to my knees. He kneeled down beside me and I buried my head into his chest and cried. He kissed the top of my head.

“I’m so sorry. I thought I lost you,” he whispered and held me tight.

“I thought I lost
you
,” I bleated. “What happened?”

“I was gathering wood from the forest, when I heard something behind me. Before I could see who it was, I was out cold. When I awoke, I was tied up and facing Erebus. That’s close to when you arrived,” he explained.

“Erebus? Like in the fairy tale?” I tried to say it lightheartedly, but my voice quivered as I thought about last night’s dream.

“It’s not a fairy tale, Alexis,” he said quietly, probably wishing it were.

“What did they want? Why did they take you?” I asked.

“I… I don’t know…”

“There has to be a reason this is happening…” I stammered.

Orion didn’t answer. He stared back with a blank face. I couldn’t tell if he honestly didn’t know or if he was hiding something.

“How did I get in that hole?” I asked.

“I’m not sure. When you were… on the ground,” he shuddered as he looked away, “I broke free from the binds and went after Draco… but something stopped me just before I reached him. The next think I knew, I woke up in an old well, about thirty feet from yours. I tried to scale the wall, but Draco was watching guard. I didn’t have to wait long though, as something caught his attention in the forest and he sprinted off. Once I was out, I heard your cries for help.”

“You scaled the wall?” I was impressed. I couldn’t get two inches on that wall. “Thank you for saving me,” I cried.

“Thank you for coming for me,” he whispered and pulled me closer.

My body molded into his lap. The millions of questions dancing in my head suddenly ceased. My only awareness was of Orion’s presence. I draped my arms loosely around his shoulders and rested my head against him. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed and I knew I should let go, but I didn’t loosen my arms and he didn’t loosen his. As I lay curled in his lap with his arms around me, all the emotions I had buried deep inside my heart came flooding out.

I love you!

I love you with my entire soul!

I had never felt such overwhelming love as this before. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I embraced my revelation. I tried steadying my breath so he wasn’t aware of my reaction. I turned my cheek against his shoulder, letting the tears soak into his shirt and breathed through my mouth so I wouldn’t sniffle. We stayed that way for an eternity. At least it seemed that way to me. Then, his hands loosened and glided from my back down to my waist. I took this move as a sign that it was time to let go. I slid my knees to the ground and straightened my body, allowing my arms fall to my side. He kept his hands planted on my waist. My eyes were focused on the ground and I pulled back, still abashed by the flood of emotions.

His hold tightened as I shifted, keeping me in place. Confused, I glanced back up; his face was now close to mine. Our eyes locked and a burning desire jolted through my body like lightening. I tried to turn away, to fight the urge, but his eyes was too intoxicating and they sucked me back in. His beautiful face held a tender expression, which sent my heart racing. Still locked on my eyes, he grazed my cheek with his hand, leaned just an inch closer, and paused. I was oozing with so much lust he probably could smell it on me. I was froze with my mouth partially hung open… unsure if I should shy away or pounce on him. Did he want to kiss me as badly as I wanted to kiss him? Did he want to taste me as much as I wanted to taste him? Maybe I was reading too much into it and he was just trying to comfort me? But every part of my body was screaming for him. How could he not feel the same?

I broke free from his gaze and my eyes met his mouth. The soft curve of his bottom lip consumed my mind with a carnal desire that shattered any remaining ounce of self-control. In that moment, I lost all restraint and pushed my lips against his. His lips were as soft as I imagined and I glided my tongue against them. He grabbed the back of my head and pushed into me, kissing me back without hesitation. My entire body vibrated with excitement. A strange current of energy flowed between our bodies. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me close as we kissed. I pressed my breasts tight against his chest in return. The taste of his mouth made me dizzy. I was so caught up in the moment, I was practically panting to catch a breath.

I weaved my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck. This seemed to please him as he sucked in a quick breath and let out a soft moan. That sound made my body burn with a fervid hunger that was screaming for more of him. I tried to shake the craving free and pulled his wet lips off of mine. I put both hands against his chest and pushed away, my eyes still squeezed shut. My head was yelling at me to stop. This was wrong. I was completely committed to Mitchell. But I couldn’t make my lips speak the words. My face was twisted in conflict between my desires and the loyalty to my boyfriend. But how could it be wrong if I felt this much love for Orion? Why did I enter this world if it wasn’t meant to be?

Orion either didn’t notice my turmoil or didn’t care. He grabbed my shoulders and glided his mouth down my neck. Invigorating chills spread down my back and arm and I let out a soft cry. The overwhelming excitement made my heart race a thousand beats a minute. My chest expanded and fell rapidly. I ran my trembling hands over his jaw and through his hair. His lips were back on mine, and my heart melted. My mind went to mush, and then every shred of previous doubt disappeared. Nothing else mattered but being with Orion. I wanted the moment to last forever. I wanted him forever. My mind was immensely clear, focusing on nothing but the vast range of new emotions that were taking over. I had never been so much into one moment before. Time stood still, allowing me to bask in his touch.

He pulled away and straightened up. I took a moment to bring me back from my trance. I opened my eyes and met his gaze. My lips were still partially opened and my breath was heavy and deep.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a penitent face. “It’s wrong of me to fall in love with my guardian angel.”

“I’m no angel,” I whispered with a soft laugh. “You’re my angel. When I’m with you, my world is complete. When I’m away, I’m in agony.”

“Then never leave,” he answered back.

I shifted in frustration. “I wish it was that easy. Even if I wanted to leave my world behind, I don’t know how. I don’t even know if it’s possible.” My voice quivered as I fought back the urge to cry. It was suddenly more of a reality that I would never fully have the one thing I wanted more than anything.

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.” His expression said that he really believed it and that filled me with hope.

He kissed me again, softly this time. I felt the powerful surge of energy push through his lips and flow into my body again. I lost all previous worries. I wondered what it would feel like to have his naked body pressed against mine. My thoughts shifted to his bedroom and then I felt the soft sheets of his bed under my legs. I cracked open my eyes and was greeted with a seductive smile. I guess it worked this time.

I surrendered my heart, soul, and body to him.

The lines between dream and reality were beyond blurred. When I slept, I felt like my dreams were real and this was a dream. No, not a dream… a nightmare from which there was no escape.

I glanced over and saw Mitchell sleeping peacefully beside me. A flood of guilt hit my chest. I winced away and stared at the ceiling. The knots in the cedar above looked like eyes watching me, judging me.

I looked over to the nightstand; the numbers on the clock anxiously reminded me to get out of bed. I slid my legs over to the side of the bed. Pausing, I used my aching muscles to pull myself upright. My head immediately pounded to the rhythm of my beating heart. Reluctantly, I dragged myself to the shower.

The first burst of cool water delivered a jolt of panic as a flashback of the icy barrel flashed in my mind. The water quickly turned warm and caressed my neck, dulling my headache to a light throb. I remained still with the water running over my head and down my body. How did my life get complicated and confusing so quickly? I felt it slipping from my fingertips. I thought I had control of everything in my life - I had a plan that work fairly well, but now… I lost control over my own actions. I wasn’t sure what the right path was anymore or what was coming next. Maybe a different part of my life was beginning? It was all a blur…

I closed my eyes and pictured Mitchell sleeping beside me while I betrayed our commitment with another man. Maybe not physically, but emotionally I ripped apart our bond, opening a tear that may never mend. Yet at the same time, I did not regret it.

I open my eyes. My emotions were just as confused as my thoughts. I didn’t know how it happened or if I even had a choice, but I had fallen in love too hard. No matter what happened now, I would feel heartache again, only this time a hundred times worse. Either I would never see Orion again, or our love would die, or one of us would die; but no matter how it ends, it will end, and that scared me the most.

The water crashed down on my throbbing skull. I missed Orion and was drowning in self-pity; I wasn’t sure whether I was crying. I wished this struggle inside of me would just go away. I wished I could just go away - but I couldn’t… the world didn’t stop for me.

After a drudging day at work, I stopped by Mom’s. It was longer than usual since my last visit and I felt too guilty to face Mitchell. Besides, I had ended things badly on the phone and didn’t want to hold any ill feelings with her.

I pulled into the driveway and collected the mail from the mailbox on the way in. I grasped the doorknob, hoping it didn’t turn, but knowing that it would. Mom was sitting on the couch, going through a box of paperwork.

“Mom! You know you need to start locking the door,” I lectured.

“Oh Alexis, it’s the middle of the day. How did you get so paranoid?”

“From watching the news, Mom. There are tons of crazy people out there. Crazy doesn’t care what time it is. Promise you will start locking the door, please?”

“Okay dear,” she grumbled.

I knew she didn’t mean it. I wanted to tell her that since she lived alone now, it was especially important, but I didn’t want to remind her that Dad was gone.

“What are you doing?” I asked, as I sat down beside her.

“Just going through some old papers in the office.”

I waited silently for a minute. I wanted to tell her so badly about Orion, it was nearly bursting out. I wanted to divulge the struggle inside my heart and tell her that I met my soul mate. I wanted her to tell me that I wasn’t being selfish and that everything would be okay… but I couldn’t. Before Dad died, I told her everything. Now, I wasn’t sure how she’d respond, and I didn’t want to burden her with my problems. First, she’d think I was certifiably nuts for falling in love with someone who wasn’t real. Then, she’d be ashamed of me for betraying Mitchell, even if it were all in my head. I wasn’t sure which one she’d think was worse, crazy or sinner. But not sharing this with her was eating my up inside. I desperately needed to talk to someone. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn’t going insane… that it was okay to embrace these feelings… that I wasn’t a bad person.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, apparently noticing my anxiety.

“Um, yeah, Mom. What about you? Is everything all right?” I tried to turn the attention off of me.

“Yes, everything’s fine,” she answered bleakly.

“I’m sorry I was angry on the phone earlier,” I muttered while staring at the painting on the wall. It was a painting of a sunset on a beach. It reminded me of Orion.

“I just wish you understood what it’s like to have to choose between your children,” she hissed.

Her words stung. “Who said anything about having to choose?”

“I know you don’t care for Jeremy and that’s fine, but I can’t even bring him up without you attacking me. How do you think I feel having my son emotionally in pain and locked up again? I don’t have your father to talk to anymore and it’s eating me up inside.”

I deliberated over feeling anger or sorrow for her. The sorrow won and I moved closer to put my arm around her. “I’m sorry, Mom. You should be able to talk to me about anything.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, and kissed me on the cheek.

“Mom… have you ever been at a point in your life where you wonder how you got there and question which path you should take next?” I asked, testing out the waters.

“All the time, honey.”

I picked up a paperclip and twisted it into a new shape as I spoke, “Like when sometimes you feel like… like you’re floating through life just fine, you know… then out of nowhere, something changes. Now, you can’t go back to the way things used to be. No matter how bad you want to, or if you even want to… your life has forever changed.”

“What’s going on?” she asked. Her voice was marked with her naturally soothing maternal tone.

“I’m not sure… I feel like I can’t trust my judgment anymore. I feel like my brain and heart are telling me different things.”

“Honey, you never know which path to take until you are already walking on it. I think it’s better to embrace change in your life than never move forward. Otherwise you are just sitting here all day… waiting to die,” she muttered as her voice trailed off.

The thought of Mom sitting there all day waiting to die made my heart sink. “I love you Mom.” I hugged her tight.

“I love you too, honey.”

Much to my disappointment, she didn’t pry any further. After a long visit, I headed home, reluctantly, to face Mitchell.

I took a deep breath and walked through the door. My heart pounded with trepidation. Would he somehow know what happened with Orion? I bet the guilt was written all over my face. He could probably sense my unfaithfulness.

I hurried to the bedroom to change my clothes; afraid I would blurt it out loud. Eventually, I gathered enough nerve to walk into the living room. Mitchell was sitting on the couch pecking away on his laptop when he noticed my entrance.

“Where were you? I called you a bunch of times but you didn’t answer,” Mitchell asked with an unusually stern tone.

“I stopped by Mom’s. I must not have heard my phone,” I replied, as I reached into my purse to check it. Sure enough there were a few missed calls. I put the phone back in my purse and sat on the loveseat across from him.

“I was worried about you. The least you could do was tell me you were going over there. What am I supposed to think after what happened the other night?” Mitchell’s voice was growing more agitated.

“I go to Mom’s all the time. Why didn’t you call over there if you were that worried?” I asked pointedly.

“I shouldn’t have to call around just to find out where you are.
You
should have the common decency to call,” he sneered.

“I don’t have to check in with you everywhere I go, Mitchell. You don’t own me. What’s your problem?” I grew irritated at his attack.

“My problem is you! I don’t know what your deal is anymore! You’re constantly snapping at me, you’re always tired, we never go out anymore, and you don’t talk to me anymore. You’re miffed about
God knows what
most of the time. This routine is getting a little old,” he hissed.

I felt my face flush with anger. I jumped up, ready to fight. “Getting old?! If you are
so
tired of me, then why don’t you just leave?” I barked back with my hands crossed under my chest.

“Is that what you want, Alexis?” he interrogated, standing up to confront me. His arms hung tense by his side with his hands balled into fists.

“It’s
apparently
what you want, Mitchell!” I shot back.

“I never said I wanted to leave. I just want you to straighten up,” he clarified, slightly relaxing his hands.

I was infuriated by his insolent comment. “Straighten up?! Wow, what am I, some child you are trying to scold? I can’t deal with you right now! I’m sick of this life and need to get away!” I bellowed as I stomped down the hall.

“If you are so sick of our life together then I guess I should go!” Mitchell hollered back as he marched after me.

I halted and turned directly toward him, blatantly replying, “Fine by me.”

His face twisted from anger to anguish. I knew I should have told him to stay, but I was too confused at the moment to deal with him. He snatched his keys and rushed out the door, slamming it shut on the way out. I heard the tires peel out of the driveway and speed away.

I paced the hall, and then sat down on the bed. I couldn’t believe the nerve of him attacking me when I haven’t done anything wrong, at least, that he knew about. I knew I shouldn’t be this angry, but I felt completely done with Mitchell. All I wanted was to see Orion. I jumped to my feet and continued to pace. Ten minutes passed and I was still anxiously roaming the house. I went for a jog to clear my mind and burn off my frustrations. An hour later, I returned home. I soaked my body in a steamy hot bath, made a sandwich for dinner, and then flipped on the television. I was calmer then and felt a tinge of guilt for fighting with Mitchell. He had valid points… Maybe I snapped just to cause a fight? Anger was much better to digest than guilt. Guilt about last night…

Thinking of last night… the flood of emotions was hard to sort out. Fear and lust… panic and desire… it was the most amazing night of my life, aside from nearly being killed, again. The connection I felt with Orion when our bodies molded together made me excited just thinking about it.

I glanced over at the clock; it was getting late. Mitchell had never left for more than an hour after a fight before. I was sure he’d come home soon, but decided to be the bigger person and call him. There was no answer… he must still be mad.

I performed my nighttime rituals and crawled into bed, excited to see Orion again. I wondered if what happened last night would change things between us. The only thing it changed for me was a deeper yearning for bedtime. I closed my eyes tight with a smile etched across my face.

Relax…

I cleared my mind and let my body sink into the sheets. Soon, the darkness swirled inward and turned into a tunnel of nothingness. My body was falling – then a quick jolt. The blackness faded.

I was standing outside but it was still dark. The air was thick and my skin crawled with the unsettling feeling that I was no alone. I surveyed the area and immediately spotted Mitchell in the distance.

“Mitchell?” I called out in confusion.

He didn’t turn around. He continued to walk through the parking lot. Suddenly, my stomach was in my throat as fear crept through my chest. I flipped around in every direction, but there was no one else around. I tried to run toward Mitchell, but couldn’t move. I couldn’t feel my body. I looked down at my legs but they weren’t there. I pulled up my hands, but nothing appeared.

A scuffle broke out in Mitchell’s direction. He scampered across the empty parking lot, sweat beading down his forehead and dripping into his eyes. He wiped it swiftly with his right palm as he twisted his head left, right, scanning the deserted street. He paused.

I could hear his pounding heart, tearing its way through his chest with each pulsating beat. I felt it in my chest as if it were my own heart in distress.

Footsteps approached and grew louder with every step, but we couldn’t find their source. Mitchell’s face twisted in a grimace. He cried out in pain as he dropped to his knees, one hand clenching a wad of wet, bloody sweatshirt. I felt his pain in my abdomen, but I couldn’t scream.

He lowered his head to inspect the point of impact as blood flowed through his white knuckles and dripped onto the pavement. Momentarily frozen in confusion, he stared at his fist, fixated on the wound. He snapped his head up to face his assailant, but the parking lot was deserted.

He tried to stand; his body partially erect and wobbling forward. Another sharp sting sliced through his rib with a crack. The pain was too intense to take a breath. He fell to his side, but caught his fall with his sweaty right palm, frantically searching for the source of this attack. Nothing around – the night was eerily silent… no crickets singing … no wind dancing with the wild night’s euphony. Nothing.

I heard a soft whisper, almost like a laugh. I tried desperately to move. I tried with all my breath to scream, but nothing escaped my lips. The only thing I could do was watch helplessly.