Sleepless in Montana (35 page)

She leaned her head against Hogan’s shoulder,
and he shot an arm around her, keeping her close, an anchor when
his life was spinning around him.

He circled the stunning new emotions of who
he was, and the explanation of the link between himself and Joe
Blue Sky, his uncle. Now that Ben had relented, Joe would tell him
about Willow, what she was like, how she felt about Ben. All the
pieces came spinning together, winding around Hogan’s heart and
tightening his throat.

Filled with emotion, Hogan grabbed Jemma’s
wrist and tugged her into his lap. He held her tight, his face
pressed against her throat, her arms wrapped around him, her
fingers soothing his hair. He gripped the small ring in his fist,
held Jemma and wondered when the world had ever been right. “You
just don’t give up, do you?”

“Not when the merchandise is worth fighting
for— Mmm!” Jemma pushed at Hogan’s shoulders as he took her face in
his hands, taking her mouth without tenderness. Her widened eyes,
that flash of fear, told him that he’d surprised and hurt her.

Unable to tell her of his need, damning
himself for hurting her, Hogan looked away to a raven, gleaming
blue black in the sun.

“Oh, no, you don’t! You’re not going inside
yourself again. Not when those beautiful eyes are so sad and
lonely.” Jemma pushed him away and rose lithely to her feet. She
stood with her back turned to him, her arms hugging her body. The
sunlight shooting through the fir and spruce trees framed her
slender body, and Hogan knew her emotions tore at her.

He rose slowly, his thumb smoothing the
little ring on his finger and walked to stand behind her.

She edged away from him, as though she
couldn’t bear to have anyone near her. “You haven’t anything to do
with what I’m feeling now. I’m not frigid with you, am I? Oh, no,
you’ve got great hands, though you’ve tried to butcher them.”

“If I touch you too suddenly, you get that
panicked look. I want to know why. That day I hauled you out of the
ranch house over my shoulder, there was just that moment of fear
before you started calling me names— not pretty names, by the
way.”

“You don’t give up either, do you?” Jemma
demanded bitterly. She spun to him, eyes bright with tears, body
rigid and shaking.

“Come here.” Hogan tugged her into his arms
and held her tight, pushing her damp face into the shelter of his
throat and shoulder. He smoothed her hair, found her scalp and
gently rubbed as she locked her arms around him.

Jemma’s body shook as she fought the sobs
tearing out of her. “It was a real mess, my brothers and sisters—
immature, selfish parents. There are parents with large families,
who love and care for them. Mine just didn’t care.”

Hogan held her close and safe against him,
wishing he could do more than give her soft words and after a time,
she quieted. “When I was visiting here years ago, that mechanic in
town caught me at the garage.... He’s still working there, leering
as always. Carley was with Ben at the feedstore, and you’d come
back to check on me. Rather you were disgusted that you had to
check on me— The Pest, the bane of the Sasquatches’ lives. I had to
have that new brand of candy bar. You don’t remember that, do
you?”

Hogan fought through the years, seeing a
frightened little leggy girl backed up against the dirty walls,
Jackson Reeves sneering down at her.

“That was when I knew what men were supposed
to be. You said, ‘Go find Ben, little girl, and tell him I’ll be a
little late.’ You spoke so softly, ice ran up my spine. I told Ben
that Jackson had frightened me and you’d be late, and I saw
terrifying anger in his expression. ‘Come here, little girl,’ he
said just as softly as you had. ‘It’s about time we bought you a
pretty blue ribbon for that red hair. And Hogan will be along in a
little bit.’ I was shocked. Ben had always complained about
spending money foolishly. But then, he held my hand, put his arm
around me, and wiped away my tears. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong,
honey,’ he said.”

She lifted her cheek to Hogan’s, and
shuddered in the aftermath of long repressed emotion. “I didn’t do
anything wrong. All those years, all those dirty situations when I
was growing up, I thought I had. And I see Carley trapped in the
same nightmare. I love her. She’s really my sister. A sister I can
protect. I watched you and your brothers and Ben more closely after
that, and I saw this really beautiful thing— I thought of you as
the Knights of the Round Table. Despite all the furious wars
between you, all of the Kodiaks really cared about each other. They
care now.”

“Maybe.” Hogan wasn’t certain of his
emotions, scrubbed raw by Ben’s too-late revelation of Willow.

Jemma shoved free and Hogan admired the way
she pushed herself back into one Jemma-piece. He wondered how many
times she’d had to do that, pulling herself together and putting up
her shields. She turned to him, pale and clearly battling for
control. “There. You know your mother now— in your heart. I’ve had
a nice little cry. What’s next?”

She straightened her shoulders and pushed
back her hair, looking at the small cabin. This was Jemma, in
flight mode, ready to take on anything to push away her past.
“What’s next? A roof? How are we going to do that without a
lumberyard nearby? Hogan, I think that—”

He traced her still-damp cheek with his
fingertip. Jemma’s emotional energy throbbed between them, and he
wondered at her strength to go on as she had. She’d battled to
survive and collected her buttons, keeping those she loved close.
“Ease up, sweetheart. Take it easy.... Stop running. There is just
you and me and nothing to do, but rest and heal.”

She threw out her hands, shaking with
emotion, her eyes swollen from tears.

“I don’t know how, Hogan,” she cried
helplessly.

“Well, that’s what I’m for,” Hogan murmured,
and drew her into his arms. He was just settling in for a deep,
exotic taste of Jemma when she tensed and exploded out of his arms.
“Jemma, come back here.”

She dug into her jeans. “I forgot. Here—”

She took the small ring from his finger and
slipped a gold chain through it. She eased it over his head, and
when it lay gleaming on his chest, she patted it. “There. Courtesy
of Ben. He’s started wearing his wedding ring again. He doesn’t
need the chain.”

When Hogan inhaled, shaken by emotion, and
looked up at the spruce limbs filtering the sunlight, Jemma held
his face and brought it down to hers.

The tiny, gentle kisses she trailed all over
his face left Hogan a little woozy and uncertain. He wanted to push
her away, to shield himself, and yet he couldn’t move, his hands
locked to her waist.

“You big lug,” Jemma whispered softly,
sliding into his arms and resting her head upon his shoulder.

Hogan stood for a long time, wrapped in a
shaft of sunlight, the knowledge of who his mother was, who he was,
and the soft, soft woman in his arms. He filled his hands with her
hair, absorbing the silky warmth as he gathered her closer.

“What’s that sound?” Jemma asked, tilting her
head.

“The wind sweeping down from Crazy Mountains.
One of the old legends says it’s the sound of the Celestial Virgins
crying.”

She nestled against him. “That’s so sad,
Hogan. Do you really think that old legend is true, that they took
the Chinese women into the mountains? When they were of no more
use?”

“Most of the mines are up north and there
were Chinese in Fort Benton, but there were only a few prospectors
here. But it is possible.”

Jemma’s smile curled against his throat. “But
you young studs liked to believe in that legend, in rescuing those
Celestial Virgins. I heard you talking about it too many
times.”

“Jemma, dear heart. If the most beautiful
Celestial Virgin strolled out of the woods right now, buck-naked
and begging for me, I wouldn’t look at her. I’m too busy looking at
you.”

Jemma’s eyes widened, then she grinned and
leaped up on him, circling his hips with her legs. “Liar.”

With his hands supporting Jemma’s soft
bottom, her heat burning his stomach, and her tiny butterfly kisses
cruising over his face, Hogan let himself float.

*** ***

Aaron levered himself away from Savanna’s
welcoming, moist body, his heart still pounding after a fierce
coupling.

“What do you mean, I’m not suitable husband
material?” he asked roughly.

Savanna smiled that pleasured feminine way,
her voice lazy in the afternoon shadows of her bedroom. “You’re not
going to settle down, Aaron. I want children and a home and a
husband who isn’t drooling over other women.”

Aaron shoved himself to his feet. “A husband
like Richard Coleman?”

“You idiot.” Her words had an unexpected
edge, surprising him. Savanna came to her feet, her long sleek
black hair swaying around her slender body. “You absolute idiot.
I’ve got to get back to the clinic. I think it’s best if you don’t
come around anymore.”

“I’ll be around,” Aaron said, meaning it. He
didn’t like Savanna’s ability to set him aside, to move on with her
plans for that husband and kids. After she’d closed the bathroom
door behind her, he muttered, “I like kids.”

Aaron pushed open the door and stepped into
the steamy shower with Savanna. “Exactly what is wrong with me? I
haven’t looked at another woman since I’ve come back.”

“Do my back, will you?” Savanna turned and
lifted her hair. “It’s called a bit more than sex, lover. I want a
man with staying power. I’m going to be an old hag one day, and I
want to know that he won’t move on then, or when I’m pregnant with
his baby—”

Aaron turned her roughly and when Savanna
frowned at him, he dropped his hands. “You think that’s what I’d
do?” he demanded.

“Maybe. I have to be sure, and when I meet
him, I’ll know. Just like that. Click. Something in me will go
click, and that’s what I want.”

“So I don’t make you go ‘click’?” Aaron
caressed her wet full breasts. Without her clothing, Savanna was
even more delicious....

“Not like that, lover. But in other ways, you
know you do. It’s the relationship, Aaron. We don’t really have
one. Sex is just the frosting. I want the cake.”

An hour later, Aaron stormed into the Kodiak
house and slammed the door. He’d never had a relationship with a
woman, beyond the sex. But Savanna was worth any effort. He was
revved, the way he felt with a new account that he did not intend
to lose. She not only challenged him, she excited him in a way no
other woman had. Just watching her pleased him, the simplest
movement of her hands fascinated him.

If Savanna found him lacking as a potential
husband and father, he’d change her mind. Savanna was a sticking,
long-term kind of woman, a novelty to him— and no other man was
putting his ring on her finger.

Aaron had found what he wanted—all he had to
do was make himself appealing to her. “Carley,” he called, “where
are Jemma’s men and women’s relationship books?”

The old house stood quietly, windows drenched
full of Montana sunlight, a contrast to the blazing battles and
life in the past month. Aaron let the house’s memories seep into
him— how it might have been if Dinah hadn’t left....

After a minute, Ben’s bedroom door opened
slowly and he leaned against the door. Aaron recognized the look of
a man who had just left a woman’s arms. With his shirt hastily
thrown on, and the right leg of his jeans dangling empty, Ben
looked dazed and woozy. His voice had that deep lazy tone of a man
who’d been thoroughly satisfied. “Carley and Mitch aren’t here. He
took her to visit old Mrs. Coleman.”

“Who’s that, Ben?” Dinah asked from inside
the bedroom, her voice soft and sultry, a feminine match to
Ben’s.

“It’s our son,” Ben answered, meeting Aaron’s
dark look evenly. “I started wearing my wedding ring again, son. I
never stopped loving your mother.”

Aaron swallowed back the fear that once again
everything would be torn apart. Dinah would tear Ben apart, and the
yelling would start, hurting everyone.

Resisting the bitter accusations tearing
through his mind and the painful memories, Aaron turned and walked
out the door.

*** ***

In the roofless cabin, smoke and ashes
drifted up to the starlit sky. Hogan sat with his back against the
log wall, legs extended, studying the small fire. He listened to
the stream running in the distance, the night breeze whispering
through the branches of the tree over his mother’s grave.

“Willow was her name,” he mouthed, taking
care not to wake Jemma, who was sleeping at his side. He glanced at
the makeshift door Jemma had insisted upon. The door was silly and
weak, easily pushed aside, yet he’d fashioned it for her— to make
her feel safe. He hadn’t told her that it wouldn’t stop a
jackrabbit, much less a bear.

But the enclosure silenced the eerie howling,
the wind blowing down from the rugged, jutting stone peaks of the
Crazy Mountains. Jemma couldn’t bear to think of the
women—suffering, lost souls who could never rest until their bones
were returned to China.

Jemma slept restlessly. She flopped her arm
across his jeans-clad thighs, and he circled her slender wrist with
his fingers, amazed at how such a strong woman could be so
delicately made. She mumbled, and Hogan reached his other hand to
smooth her hair; with a sigh, Jemma slid back into sleep.

Hogan’s shadows had eased, but he knew that
they would return. For the moment, he let the sound of Jemma’s
breathing, her slender wrist claimed by his hand, the warmth of her
hair flowing between his fingers, calm him. He eased aside the hair
shielding her face, ran his thumb down her cheekbone and jaw and
studied the shadowy spikes created by her lashes upon her cheeks.
His hand tightened on her wrist.

He knew what drove her to push and shove, her
desperate need for money. He knew why, when he would reach for her
too suddenly, fear would flicker in those smoky gray eyes.