Slice (The Elledge Family #1) (43 page)

“I like writing, it hasn’t failed me yet.” I turned to Asher. “What did he say to you last night?”

“Talk to him yourself Luke.” Asher smirked. He had started to finally start acting like an older brother for once. And I must say it annoyed me more and more every day.

“I'll pass.” I poured a cup of tea and my eyes were hooked on Cypress. She laughed and chatted up with Holly. I don't know what I would do without her. I don't know what I would do if she was hurt by me either. The warm liquid splashed all over the counter and I stopped pouring it.

“Prince Charming, could you pay us attention for at least five minutes?” An irritated Callum had poked his head out as wiped up the spilled tea.

“I'm listening.” I lied. She was so perfect and so mine that it even hurt to think she could not be mine. “Callum where is my dad anyhow?”

“At Nadine's,” he answered. “Why?”

“I probably need to talk to him before we leave.” I grimaced and gulped down my tea.

My father, I had never imagined the possibility of him being alive. The pain of the final moment I saw him still tinkered around my head. He was burnt to a black, crisp with his necklace of my mom in his hand. The coroner had even identified him as my father. I grieved my mother and father so hard I had lost myself in turmoil. And there was no way to pull me out of it until I met Cypress. The fact that he was alive and well after all this time hurt more than I wanted to admit.

The plateau overlooked the Irish Sea and I hadn't been here in ages. The color of the blue was that peeked between the white puff of clouds was perfect and the sun had found its home behind a ton of clouds. All that was heard was the waves of the sea scraping the sand. This could be home in less than a few months and I was sure that I wanted it to be.

“You still love it here?” He sat beside me as he twirled a knife in between his fingers. “I'm happy that you came to see me. I was convinced that you wouldn’t talk to me before you left.”

“Me too for the moment.” My eyes didn't move. They just stayed captivated by the sight before me. “I need to know why you done it.” The silence lasted for a moment and the crash of the waves down below to fill the air.

“It was simple Lucas… I had to.”

“Not good enough.” My voice shook. “Why did you do it?”

“I had no choice Lucas. It’s more than what you think.”

“Well, I’m a grown fucking man. Explain it to me!” I yelled. “Why was it okay to leave your scared child alone with no one in this world to care for him?”

“If I didn’t do it, then it was a chance I would never see you again Lucas. And the actual thought of losing you hurt more than a few years without you.” He swallowed and flicked the knife into the ground. “You think it was easy to leave you alone.”

“It was easy for you to disregard the fact that you had two other children out there. How could you do that? I don’t even know who the fuck you are.” I whispered.

“That’s something that you will never understand.”

“I know it. Because not having my child in this world with me would be pure hell.”

Declan chuckled. “You act like you got all the answers now kid. You know that?”

“Whatever,” I stood to leave.

“Sit down!” Declan’s voice filled the air and I done as he told me to and sat down on the wooden bench. “I love you and them. And just so you know I was always around those two boys, even when they didn’t know it. I love them too. How could I not love Mark and Asher?”

“It would have been nice to not be alone. You could have at least given me that.”

“Your mother didn’t want that for them. She wanted them to have completely separate lives. I honored her wishes. Asher, he’s smart as hell. I was shocked that he had not figured it out sooner. But when he died, I felt like there had been a weight lifted from my shoulders. And you look like you like them well enough.”

“Whatever.”

“I have killed people Lucas.” His admission was not new news to me. I knew everything there was to know about my father. “And at the time I was wanted for a mass murder of more than 70 people in Taiwan. They wouldn’t stop until I died. So your uncle done what needed to be done.”

“Killed yourself off for the sake of survival. I hope I never have to follow those footsteps.”

“Is that about the las?”

“Who else?” I paused.

“Congrats on the baby. I hate that you are your father’s son though. I know that you have urges and I’ve watched you kill a few times. You’re messy.”

I was horrible at this tail shit. “Bloody hell, you and Asher are fucking stalkers, I swear.”

It was nice to hear a sincere laugh from him. “Well, you should probably not be so eager when you kill. What you do is not to be taken lightly and you should be more aware of your surrounding Lucas. I all but waved at you one time.”

“Yeah,” The words stung. “I mean...”

“It's fine, you don't have to explain to me. I am not any different. I just want you to be careful. Asher is under the impression that you are no longer careful as you once were.”

“I’m fucking up because there is an agent that is on to me. He follows me and sits on me. And it's annoying. I want to kill him and I have almost killed him a few times. But I behave, but then there is something inside of me that just lashes out.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I can't stop it. I feel like a monster. I like to see people die.” My voice was calm. “I mean it literally is no better joy for me. I can watch the blood drain over and over and there is nothing better.”

“I don't know what it is.”

“Is it the same for you?”

“No… I just have anger issues. I'm more along the lines of Mark. I kill only when necessary. You and Callum have that same need.”

“Well, I didn't come here to compare family members.” I spat. “I just want to know how you left? I need to know that if something goes down there is a possibility that I will be able to live. Even if that means leaving Cypress so that she can have a better life.”

“It's harder than you think Luke.”

“I know.”

“You don't.” Declan looked at me. “You won't even look at me. I hate knowing that I hurt you and made you into what you are.”

“Oh, stop making it about you.” I grumbled. “I’ve had whatever the bloody hell this is within me since I was younger and you had not one thing to do with it.”

“It is about me. You know that you are a product of a misguided childhood.”

“I'm fine. I like my life. I love my woman… my child. I love everything.”

“Right.” He nodded his head.

“Don't try to come at me I your fatherly woes. You are not a real father. I basically was raised by myself. I don't need your kind words. I need to know how you did it. I need to know so that if something happens, I can remove myself and she can...”

“Look,” Declan paused. “I don't know what to tell you. I had to find a homeless person… Your uncle paid them to have a life. He fixed their teeth and then he put them in a real house and when the time came, he burned them alive… Told people I was in the house. I was long gone by that time. They identified him as me because your uncle paid to have his teeth done like that. No one wins in the end.”

“Whatever, that takes too much time.”

“If you think you are close to being turned in then you should just go ahead and turn yourself in. There is really nothing else that can save you at this point.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“So I have to leave everything that I love behind...”

“You don't have to.” Declan stood up. “I didn't leave you because I wanted a better life for you. I didn't give those boys up because they were better off without me. I did it because I was selfish. Your mother was selfless and I loved her for it. I just had a habit of doing things that ended up not being good for. I was a bad father and husband. Be there for yours. Stop the killing and move away.”

“I have stopped…. After my last kill it was pretty much a wrap.” I chuckled.

“What did you do?”

“Kind of wrote the detective a letter in the blood.”

Declan laughed. “Bold move?”

“Too bold, he almost pegged me, but I never leave them anything to work on. I never even leave an imprint in the blood… I just maneuver around it…”

“What do you use?”

“Your knife.” I smiled. “I remember when I was younger you carried that knife around like it was the bible. If someone said one-word wrong to you… your hand went to that knife and I knew that everything would be okay… you never really played too many games about the knife. And, when you died, I did my first kill… and there was no greater feeling.”

“Be careful, that's all I want.”

“I am careful father.”

“And you can trust your brothers. I have talked to them both and they are great men. Especially Asher, who really impressed me. He is smarter than you know.”

“I know I can trust them.” I said.

“Tell me about this girl.”

“Cypress.” I added.

“Yeah her, we chatted for a minute and she seemed rather feisty over you. Does she know what you are?”

“I would rather she not.”

“Your mother knew about me.”

“I know she did.”

“Well, I think you should tell Cypress before she finds out on her own.”

“No, I've cheated on her and killed her ex-boyfriend. I don't think she wants to know that.”

“You will never know.”

“I don't care to know.”

Cypress

Holly loved the garden and I had to admit it was a good place to escape but I didn't have the patience to actually do it. I don't think that I would ever really have the patience. I sat in the yellow chair as she pulled up weeds and Nina dug a hole in the yard.

“Tell me… what is it about Lucas that makes you love him?”

“There is a lot.”

“Like what?”

“Well, he is protective of me. There is something about a man that can go to every length to make sure that you are safe. Then he is smart… he loves to read and he loves to dance with me. And then he loves me. I can truly say that never have I felt like there was someone who loved me more than me.” I twiddled with my thumbs and looked at Holly. “

“The Elledge boys tend to love hard.” Holly smiled. “I wish Callum would love harder though. You know I have been by his side through everything. I mean he has been arrested and damn near gunned down in the streets and I have stood there unmoving with him.”

“Gunned down?”

“Callum has some bad sides. You know he can't control his mouth and so that leads to unnecessary fights with people that we don't need trouble from. You know… he hasn't asked me to marry him. I mean I have dedicated so much of my life and I can't even have the privilege of his last name.”

“He'll do it on his time.”

“Six years Cypress.” Holly paused. “And I don't know if I can wait another one. Me mother, she shamed me from the family when I got pregnant and she hates Callum. He doesn't know how much I sacrificed just to be with him. Just to get closer to his love. And now...” Her voice broke and a stream of tears raced down her face.

“No, don't cry.”

“I can't help it you know?” She tossed the gloves to the ground. “Lucas… is a good guy. And Callum can be a good guy, but what I'm saying is… I don't think that they are the same. I think there is more good in Lucas than he lets on.”

“He is a good guy and Callum
is like him in a ton of ways.  And men are sometimes just not good with marriage. Lucas from the time we started dating… said his intention was to find the one. And little did we know… we would last. He is not perfect. Before I found out I was pregnant, he cheated on me. And I took him back, once I knew for sure. And this is a struggle for us. I have to deal with fucking cops.”

“Welcome to the family.” Holly laughed. “Callum is a fucking killer. I have to deal with the police every time I turn around. Luckily he has them in his hand. The IRA helps with that and...”

My mind zoned out. Callum was a killer? “What do you mean?”

“I mean… The IRA, you know, has his back. They order the kills...”

“He is a killer?”

“Yeah Callum? I thought you knew. He gets paid major money and that's why we live here. We have so much money we figured the farther away from the city the better.”

“You are okay with that?”

“What do you mean?” Holly turned her head at me. “I mean he is the father of my child and he is also a very respected IRA killer. I have to accept it. I like it though. No one around here messes with me.”

“How can you be okay with that?”

“When you love someone Cypress it is not about what they do.”

“It's all about that. If he can kill anyone then you should turn him in. You should run. He could kill you and kill Nina. You should be glad the monster hasn't asked you to marry him yet.”

She threw her head back in amusement. “Dear, are you crazy?”

“What are you two out here cackling about?” Asher said as he handed me my phone. “Your boyfriend is annoying. He keeps calling over and over like you are dead or something. I told him to shove off a few times and he threatened me. So please call him back to insure him that you are still alive.”