Slip Song (Devany Miller Series) (45 page)

Tytan, looking not so rakish or even very much like himself, stood in his usual unwelcome spot in my bathroom. His clothes were torn, his hands dirty. The look on his face both terrible and sad. I got a firm hold on my towel.

“
Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer me, just stood there looking damaged. I wanted to hug him but he looked so distant I stayed still.

“It hurts.”

“
What does?”

Again he didn’t answer. A muscle jumped in his jaw. His throat worked. “This soul inside me. It hurts.” The last few words came out so roughly, I waited for him to start crying but he didn’t. “Why does it hurt?”

“I don’t know.” I wished I had an answer for him but I didn’t. I could only hope that something remained of Jasper and that he wasn’t suffering. “I’m sorry. Sorry I didn’t save her.” I hesitated. “Will you make Jasper know? That I’m sorry?”

“
He’s here. Inside me. We aren’t separated as you and Neutria are. He’s deeper. Part of me. He talks to me constantly though and dredges up memories.” Tytan stopped and stared down at his feet. He looked like a man counting to twenty or thinking about baseball to keep his mind in line. “Memories of things I did when I was Skriven.” His eyes met mine again. Jasper’s eyes. “Do you think it’s fair that I pay for things Ravana ordered me to do? Do you think I should be punished for crimes committed in ignorance?”

What would it be like, I wondered, to live conscience-free for millennia, only to have all the mental consequences rush back at once? Awful. “Jasper is punishing you?”

“No. Yes. I can’t stop thinking about everything.” His hands dug through his hair, pulling at the black strands. “Thousands of years, Devany.”

And a thousand more. Unless Ellison gave in to the temptation and killed Tytan and Jasper both. “It’s called a conscience, Ty. Listen to it and it might help you see the world a little differently.”

“I don’t want to see the world differently. I want to be free of it.” The anger made his voice shake. Anger and exhaustion. He had bags under his eyes, something I’d never seen on the Skriven, ever.

“
Now you know how I felt that night we collected the ingredients to make a Formless One.”

His shoulders slumped. “I already remembered their names. Each and every one. Do I have to now be haunted by memories of them as well? They were already dying, Devany. I did nothing to them and yet they are in my mind, whispering their sorrows to me and it hurts. Here.” He rubbed at his chest with his hand.

“Yeah. Empathy. It sucks. Seriously Ty, get over yourself. This is a grand opportunity for you to become something more than just an Originator’s whipping boy. You are more alive now than you’ve ever been. You have the soul of an amazing man inside you. Let him help you become something greater than you are. Don’t stand here and whine to me. That’s not the Tytan I know. The one who let himself be tortured to keep his psycho maker from learning more about me isn’t this sniveling dude standing here now.” I hitched up my towel and circled him. “The Tytan I know would be figuring out the new him and would be doing it with a smile and pervy joke.” Was I going too far? Was my own unwillingness to see him so broken down going to end up pushing him over the edge? Drive him to do something stupid like kill himself or give himself to Ellison?

I stopped when I’d come full circle, standing in front of him with a hand on my hip.

He still didn’t look like himself but there was a spark of the old Tytan in his new grey eyes. Then he turned the full force of that gaze on me. “I kept Ravana from you because I didn’t want her to get the heart.”

Ouch. It hurt a bit that it hadn’t been to protect me but at least he was talking without the stink of desperation that made me worry for his life. I opened my mouth.

“No, stop.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

He held up a finger, clearly pissed. Then he said, “That’s not entirely true.”

“
What? I’m confused.”

Jasper speaks to him. Tells him to be honest.
Neutria chittered, her spider laugh walking over my skin like a thousand ants marching.

“
I kept Ravana from you because I didn’t want her to have the heart.”

Way to rub it in, Ty. “Yeah, you said that already.”

He cursed.

“
Keep your voice down please. I don’t want anyone charging in here.” It would be hard to explain me in a towel with a dude in the bathroom.

“
She would have killed you.”

“
And?”

“
Gods damn it.” He stepped forward and pulled me toward him. It had the surreal quality of a black and white movie clip, especially when his lips touched mine and instead of the instant lust his touch usually induced in me, it was just a kiss.

Just a really, really good kiss.

Damn it.

He let me go and stepped back. I still had the top of the towel clenched tight in one fist. My lips pulsed with the beat of my heart.

He said, “She wanted to kill you, Devany. And I have come to care for your presence in my life too much to let that happen.”

Oh.

“I have to leave for a while. Figure out if I can live with myself.” A ghost of a smile as he held up his hands, chest level. “No whining, I promise. Just let me be. Call me only if your life’s in danger.”

“
Right.” I caught myself before I touched my fingers to my lips. “You can. Live with yourself. It’ll take some adjustment, but all good things do.”

He looked unconvinced that it was a good thing but didn’t argue. He left my bathroom the same way he’d come, and I was left staring at the space he left behind.

About the Author

Jen Ponce is an urban fantasy, horror, and romance writer who has been looking for awesome books with strong female characters since falling in love with Pippi Longstocking. Go Pippi! She grew up loving Wonder Woman, zombies, and magic and that's led her to writing kickass women and oogy monsters.

Jen, her boys, cats, and goldfish live in Western Nebraska despite her yearnings to live somewhere warmer. (Jen would also like to point out that the cats aren't hers, they are her boys' cats. She loves them but she is not a crazy cat lady—just crazy.)

You can drop her a line at
www.JenniferPonce.com

See her blog at:
www.JenniferPonce.com/skunkblog

Visit her author page on Amazon at:
http://bit.ly/JenPonceAuthorAmzn

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Would you do me a favor?
At the very end of this book, you'll have the opportunity to rate and share my book to your Facebook and Twitter accounts. If you have friends who would love my book, would you mind sharing this with them? Also, if you loved my version of a kickass woman and you want to defend your choice of oogy monster (so far, it's neck and neck between Neutria and Nex … even though Nex doesn't really have a neck) would you mind leaving a review? It will help other people find my stories so they can fall in love with the floating head and trailing intestines of Nex or the bloodthirsty enthusiasm of Neutria.
Thank you!

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