Small Town Doctor (5 page)

“At her age I wouldn’t do the transfusion here, it’s too far from the hospital if she has an adverse reaction.”

Michael nodded and handed the paperwork to James. “Being that it’s the weekend I thought you could use the office. That’s if you can get her agree to it. No one will be there and you’re close enough that if anything happens you only have to go out to the main hall and up a few floors to the children’s ward.”

James scanned the printouts. “No wonder Abbi’s been so tired lately, and she’s been suffering with this for some time. I’ll convince Ella this is needed, otherwise it will be hard for the child to recover from pneumonia.”

“If you convince her, give me a call I’ll come to the office if you need assistance.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed the last of the supplies from the truck and shut the door. “I’ll let you know and I do appreciate you bringing this stuff up.”

Michael paused. “James, you’d better know what you’re doing. You could end up doing more harm than good.”

“I know the risks, but they
are
worth it.”

Michael got into the truck, starting the engine, and rolled down the window. “You better be ready for whatever this brings. Even if that means next time Ryan has to remove the girl from her custody because she won’t allow either of us here.”

James stepped out of the way as Michael turned around and drove back down the mountain. He tried to push the doubts from his mind. The idea he could hurt Ella and Abbi when all he wanted to do was help them made his stomach roil. If he could wrap them up and keep them safe from everything and everyone that could harm them, he would.

Wait, that’s just what I’m trying to keep them from. Ella needs to see there’s so much more to life.
He tried to tell himself he wanted nothing more…but that was a lie, and even his subconscious knew better.

The truck pulled away from the house and Ella’s temper rocketed through the roof. How dare he think of them as a charity case? She didn’t need anyone’s charity; she’d chosen this life. Damn him for making her think he was any different. For being a man she thought she could trust, then turning out to be just another asshole. It was one thing for someone to let her down—she had been dealing with it most of her life—but she’d be damned if Abbi was hurt. Her daughter was her life, her reason for living, and she didn’t want her to have to deal with the same things she had.

The last time she spoke to her parents they’d begged her to come to Cheyenne, to make a life there so they could be close to Abbi and then Ella could begin to date again, to make a proper family for the little girl. What her mother didn’t seem to understand is she didn’t want a string of men coming in and out of Abbi’s life. Dating with a small child, not to mention the past they had, was difficult if not nearly impossible. A lot of men ran at the idea of having a step-child. She wouldn’t put her daughter through that, no matter how much she might miss the company of a man. The company of others in general.

The front door creaked open and James stepped inside. The sight of him had her moving away from the kitchen window, rage coursing through her body. She wanted to scream and fight, to force him to leave, but that would only hurt her daughter. Abbi was still sick and she needed the antibiotics that had just been delivered. To force him to leave could make Abbi sick again, or worse, the decision could mean Ryan would try to take her away. No, she’d wait until her daughter was healthy and then she’d make him go away.

“I’ve got what we need but there was a little more information in the blood work.” He placed what he’d carried in on the coffee table. “I’m going to get these antibiotics started.”

“Fine.” She held onto the counter, pushing the edge into her hand to ground her and keep her from hitting him.

“Is something wrong?” He watched her for a moment.

“It’s fine, just go about your business. I have things I must attend to.” She forced herself away from the counter and out the kitchen door to where she kept the wood stacked for the fireplace. There was no need for more wood yet, but she needed something to busy herself with. Fetching wood was a mundane task and didn’t require her to stay focused on it. She could let her mind work through the rage that boiled within her.

She tipped her head back, the wind whipping her hair around her face, and tried to let the coolness chill her temper. She couldn’t understand why she was so worked up about this, why she’d let a man she barely knew get under her skin. He wasn’t the first one who disappointed her, and if she left this cabin he wouldn’t be the last. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there but a throat clearing behind her pulled her back to reality.

“Ella.”

“Is something wrong with Abbi?”

He came to stand next to her. “I started the antibiotic and for now she’s resting comfortably. Michael brought the blood work results with him and it turns out Abbi is anemic. She needs to have a bagged iron transfusion but I can’t do that here, we’ll need to take her into town. Tomorrow.”

“No.”

“No?” He stepped around to stand in front of her. “What do you mean no? Do you understand what it means for her health? Or the fact this has been an ongoing issue and now it’s bad enough that it’s showing in her behavior? It’s the reason she’s been so tired lately, why she has those dark circles under her eyes, and why she’s so pale.”

“We’re talking about my daughter and she’s staying here. I don’t need or want your charity!”

“What are you talking about?”

The fact he had to ask sparked the return of her anger. Without thinking she brought her arm up and smacked him across the face. The palm of her hand stung, and his cheek reddened. “How dare you deny it! I could hear you through the window with Michael.”

He took a step back, out of her striking zone. “You heard my brother-in-law being an ass, nothing more. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Well, I won’t be considered a charity case for anyone. I don’t need it or want it.” She raised her voice several notches.

“That’s not why I’m here, or why I care.” He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I want to help you, is that so wrong?”

“You want to help because you feel sorry for us. Well there’s no reason to. I chose this.”

“I know the decisions you made, you’ve made it clear to me multiple times since I’ve been here. That isn’t the reason I want to help you.”

“Then why are you doing it?” She met his gaze.

“You’ve been wronged in the past, I suspect by more than just Josh, but not everyone is like that. I’m not like that. You need to trust someone and I’m asking that you trust me.” He took a step closer to her. “I’m not doing this because I feel bad for you. Actually, I think you have it pretty well here. You live life on your terms not someone else’s. Yes, I would like to see you and Abbi more socialized, for her to have children her own age to play with. Though there are plenty of children who are homeschooled and don’t have many interactions with others, and they grow up to be fine adults. Ella, I want you to trust me, let me show you Clearwater is a safe place for you and your daughter.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“I think the better question is why shouldn’t you? I know you’ve been hurt in the past but you have to start somewhere. I’m a safe place to start. Haven’t I kept my word so far? I haven’t pressed for Abbi to go to the hospital. I’m doing what I can for her here.”

“Then why can’t you do this transfusion here?”

“Most people have no adverse reactions to the iron supplements but it’s possible. We don’t do bagged iron often, it’s used only when it’s imperative that the iron levels start to recover quickly. I feel Abbi needs this or I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s the weekend so my office is closed. It’s attached to the back of the hospital, connected through a staff-only entrance. We could go there for the treatment. That way we’re close to what I’ll need if anything should happen.”

“What do you mean
if anything happens?
What are the chances?” She ran her hand down her arm, chasing a chill away.

“It’s slim but we must take precautions. She’d be able to tell us if anything is wrong and we can take the countermeasures. I wouldn’t recommend this if I didn’t it was safe. A transfusion will help her to start to feel better, she won’t be as tired, and the iron supplement she can take daily will continue to assist her.” He came to stand in front of her and placed his hand on her arm, gently rubbing it. “I wouldn’t do anything to risk her.”

“What happens if I don’t agree?”

“The transfusion is something I can recommend but cannot push. Abbi is a minor, you’re the one who has to make the decision. Even adults have to sign off on the transfusion because the government recommends iron be delivered in smaller doses. Even Ryan couldn’t force you to do this and I’m not going to mention it to him.” He caressed along her shoulder and down the length of her arm. “I want this to be your decision and if you’re more comfortable doing the pill supplements we can try that. The transfusion is a quicker way to start so she would start to see results right away.”

“I need time to think about it.”

“That’s fine. We can use my office anytime throughout the weekend or evenings. Now let’s go inside.”

She let him lead her in and toward the warmth of the fireplace. “It’s crazy, but I do trust you…so when I heard Michael saying you were only here because of charity it upset me. I figured you weren’t the first person to fail me but I wouldn’t let it happen to Abbi.”

“I’m not going to hurt you or Abbi. You have to trust someone, so why not me? If you let me, I’ll take you into town and prove to you that you have nothing to be concerned about.”

“One step at a time. Right now Abbi’s health is the most important thing.” She sat down on the sofa. “You know so much about me but I barely know you. Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? What made you become a doctor?”

“My sister, Jessi, and I are from outside of Denver. Our mother died when we were infants, leaving us to be raised by a nanny while our father who was a doctor worked long hours. He died of a heart attack a few years ago, at forty-nine.” He sat down next to her and leaned forward until his elbows were on his knees. “I became a doctor because it was what was expected. My father wanted both of us to, but Jessi chose teaching. I wanted to please my father but not follow in his footsteps. He was a surgeon.”

“So why did you become a pediatrician?”

“It’s not a very original idea but I wanted to work with children. Seeing them come into the office happy and healthy brings joy to my day and when they are sick it breaks my heart but I know my skills can make them feel better.”

“I understand. Before everything happened I was taking college classes. I wanted to be a teacher to work with special education students. Then everything changed.”

He turned enough to lay a hand on her leg. “It’s not too late.”

“I think it is. No one would want me teaching their children.” One stupid decision made and she’d forever have to suffer with it.

“I’m going to prove you wrong. I’m going to take you into town and you’re going to see that no one holds you responsible.”

She wanted him to be able to prove her wrong more than anything in the world. To be able to have more of a life than what she had would be wonderful, but fear held her back. Years ago she had been full of life, never letting fear or anything else hold her back from what she wanted. Now she was too frightened to leave the confines of the cabin because of someone else’s actions.
What happened to me? Why did I let Josh break my spirit? Even though he’s not here…he still controls my actions.

* * *

It was the first night Abbi hadn’t been deathly sick and it should have been time for Ella to catch up on sleep. Instead, she lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts on what to do
were jumbled—everything from the iron transfusion to how to handle things with James. She wanted to trust him but was worried she was misreading things. Was he doing this to be friendly, or for more personal reasons?

She had little experience with men and the most recent one was Josh, which wasn’t anything to go by. James was an attractive man and she was sure he could have any woman he wanted. So why did she think he was attracted to her? Maybe it was the way she caught him looking at her when he didn’t think she was watching. Or the way he had caressed her shoulder earlier.

It was possible she was misreading it, needing or wanting more attention than she was actually getting. Damn, she hoped she wasn’t misjudging the situation. She wanted to feel his arms around her. She was so lonely, so full of desire. He wasn’t a man who would live here with her; he needed to be in town, close to his friends and family, but he could take the edge off her hunger for sure.

It had been over four years since she’d felt the touch of a man.
Too damn long.
To feel the gentle caresses would rejuvenate her enough to continue making the best life possible for Abbi. She always thought she’d only wanted to be touched by someone who loved her, now she realized love was overrated. Love meant she’d get hurt in the end. She thought Josh loved her, but he only used her.

No, I’m done with love.