Smoke and Shadow (31 page)

He walked with a
casual stride around the three sides of the sand castle colored
resort. His aimless wandering fit in with his cover as a writer
searching for inspiration, but his eyes searched the beige marble
courtyards for police. He looked behind the billowing white
curtains for operators and other occupational hazards. He
didn
’
t sense any
threats. Couples on honeymoon held hands on the beach, cuddling in
a persistent tipsy haze. Parents followed behind their scampering
children with the drawn faces and slumped shoulders of people who
needed a vacation from their vacation. Retired couples bickered in
the restaurant with the familiar comfort of a ritual and an ancient
lady sat alone on the wide patio, sipping wine and looking out at
the sunset in silence. But no one showed any sign of following
Trent or even noticing him. He looped back into the hotel without
rushing and took the stairs to Baker
’
s
suite.

The door opened
before Trent knocked. He expected Baker to watch the hallway for
his approach. He didn
’
t expect to see Chu standing in the doorway instead. The
sight of his closest friends brought a smile to his face, but it
also raised questions. Chu was supposed to be in New York. Why was
he here? The deflated look on Chu
’
s face created more agitated
confusion. Trent felt like he walked into a wake instead of a hotel
room.

“
What
’
s up?
”
Trent said as the two men hugged. Chu didn
’
t respond. He glanced back into the
hall one last time and locked the door. Trent
’
s mind raced with
possibilities.
“
Did something happen to Ghost?
”

“
No.
I
’
m right
here.
”
Baker
limped into the room from the wide balcony.
“
I asked Smoke to come with me for
moral support.
”

“
Since when does
a debriefing require moral support? I still don
’
t know why we had to do this in
person
…”

“
Maybe we all
need a vacation.
”
Baker
’
s
words had the same somber tone and weight as Chu
’
s face. Trent
couldn
’
t remember
the last time he saw his friends act like this. Even when Baker
lost his leg, they all maintained their arrogant
optimism.

“
What
happened?
”

“
Things went
wrong on Barameja.
”

“
What do you
mean wrong? Listen, I know I deviated from the rules of engagement,
but I ran into a special situation. I put it all in the
report
…”

Baker slumped
down into the leather desk chair and stared off into space.
“
I set up the rules to
protect you. I tried to keep you out of harm
’
s way. I worried about the girls in
the pit. I didn
’
t
want Los Zetas to cut their losses and kill off the whole inventory
if they felt compromised.
”

A hole formed in
Trent
’
s chest.
“
They
’
re all
dead?
”

Baker shook his
head, but still didn
’
t look at Trent.
“
No. Mexican Naval cruisers picked up two tramp ships off the
coast. They rescued forty six girls, mostly from Eastern Europe and
Western Africa.
”

“
So what went
wrong?
”

“
Based on your
report, we
’
re
guessing the girl you found lived in the village of Catalina. It
didn
’
t make sense
for the sentries to take inventory out of the pit to violate them.
From what we understand, rape is a regular part of life inside the
warehouse. It seems like the guards you found wanted a little
variety and used the village girls as a change of
pace.
”

“
That makes
sense.
”
Trent sat
because the whole in his chest pulled him down with the weight of
his dread.
“
She
was gone when I went back to get her. I thought she went back to
the village, but I didn
’
t have time to confirm. Are you saying she never made it back
home?
”

“
Maybe she did.
Maybe she didn
’
t.
I
’
m saying it
doesn
’
t make a
difference either way.
”

“
What the fuck
are you talking about? Just tell me what the hell
happened?
”

Baker passed him
a tablet. A series of thumbnail images covered the screen.
“
When I first found out,
I decided not to tell you. I didn
’
t want you to feel
responsible.
”

“
For
what?
”

“
We got reports
of a fire coming from Catalina about forty hours after your
extraction. Satellite footage showed the whole village
burning.
”

Trent looked down at the screen and
scrolled through the images. The first few were overhead shots
zoomed in on the north side of Barameja, where the village used to
be. The resolution of the pictures was good enough to show
individual huts burning and villagers being dragged into the square
by men with rifles.

“
The more I
thought about it, the more I thought you should hear about it from
us.
”
Trent heard
Baker
’
s voice, but
he couldn
’
t stop
looking at the pictures.
“
I
don
’
t want you to
feel like I
’
m
hiding stuff from you and I didn
’
t want you to find out about it on
the news or from Rose.
”

The next picture focused on the
village square. Row after row of squat brown refugees knelt in the
mud while their homes and history burned down around them. Trent
imagined them choking on the black smoke from the fire and wailing
in fear of their captors. The riflemen herded them into haphazard
rows with shots in the air, kicks to the kidneys and rifle butt
blows to the back of the head.

“
We knew about
Los Zetas
’
s
brutality. We didn
’
t know about this.
”

Trent understood
satellites had the power to capture images of decapitations
thousands of miles above the earth. He knew each little round
object with a puddle of red in front of it was a body pouring blood
into the ground. He saw each black dark ball of hair and recognized
it as a severed head. He guessed none of the villagers fought back
or ran because the
sicarios
shot them all first. But
he couldn
’
t
understand how his eyes picked out the girl from the forest among
all this carnage.

The same spindly
limbs curled up behind her. A few feet away, the long dark strands
of hair stuck to her face and hid her death stare. Trent remembered
the fear in her eyes. Did she have the same look on her face when
she ran back to her village? Did she get the chance to warn them?
Even if she did, what could they have done to protect themselves?
Did she remember Trent when Los Zetas attacked her people? Did she
try to expose him in exchange for her village? Would someone so
young even get a chance to speak? Would she have the courage to
face an army of killers to try and save her people? If she did, it
didn
’
t make a
difference. Los Zetas still tied her skinny wrists behind her back
and still severed her head from her body.

Did she blame
Trent when the
sicarios
burned her house to the
ground? Did she curse everything about him when they killed her
parents in front of her? Did she beg him to come back when they
raped her again or did she wish Trent could suffer her torment
instead? When the bullets came in the end, was she glad she
didn
’
t have to
live in a world where men like Trent could exist? Could she take
her place next to the nameless child in the crackhouse, Summer Rain
and everyone in her village Trent murdered with one misguided
choice?

But what other
decision could he have made? Should he have ignored her rape to
carry out his mission? Would everything be better if he never took
the mission and stayed far away from Barameja? Maybe working for
Baker was his mistake. Maybe his fault stretched further back into
becoming an operator, or joining the military. Maybe if Trent never
abandoned his daughter in the first place, he
wouldn
’
t be
staring down at the image of a headless teenager
now.

The heat and
moisture from Trent
’
s tears soaked his face and hands. He found himself on the
floor, cradled in the strong embrace of Chu as he whimpered. He
couldn
’
t see or
hear Baker. His head was buried in his arms and his legs were drawn
up in a fetal position, but he felt his friend close by. He spoke
in a raw, cracked voice as if he had to relearn how to
speak.

“
What did I
do?
”

Baker
’
s
voice sounded close. His calm tone projected sorrow and
sympathy.
“
You
saved a girl from a gang rape...
”

“
And fucked her
whole village in the process!
”

Baker picked up
the discarded tablet and pointed it at Trent.
“
You didn
’
t do this. Los Zetas did this. You
were trying to be a decent human being. They decided to be
monsters. This is why we
’
re trying to stop them. This is what
it
’
s all
about.
”

Trent shook away
the platitudes.
“
I
let out the monsters. I am the monster. You told me not to engage.
I knew what they could do, but I didn
’
t listen. Now
they
’
re all
fucking dead.
”

Baker tossed his
tablet away and leaned down towards Trent.
“
You did disregard the rules of
engagement. And in the real world, you are a monster. So am I. So
is Smoke. If either of us were in your situation, we would have
done the same thing you did. It would have been just as wrong and
probably led to the same consequences. But you
didn
’
t kill her.
You didn
’
t burn
down her village
…”

“
I caused it.
Me, my choices, my actions. I set the wheels in
motion.
”

“
The wheels have
been in motion long before we got here, my friend. It started when
humanity decided sex could be taken by force. It started when
people decided they could own other people and sell them on the
open market. By the time you found the target site, the wheels had
been spinning for a very long time.
”

Trent tried to
let out a sigh, but it came out a sob.
“
It
’
s so fucking
stupid.
”

“
It is.
That
’
s why we all
need a vacation sometimes. Even monsters need a break from this
shit.
”
Baker
reached over to the table and picked up a bottle of whiskey Trent
didn
’
t have the
capacity to recognize. He poured a healthy amount into three
glasses and topped them off with ice. The ritual gave Trent the
strength to pull away from Chu
’
s support and sit up on his
own.