Snake Charmer (Rawkfist MC Book 2) (20 page)

Donovan

K
itty needs a lift into the Jeep, but
once we’re driving, he settles down next to me like a pro. I doubt he’ll be as
thrilled about meeting the Earlham pets.

Hal is about the same size as Kitty. I
figure if the dogs riot, mine ought to have a fighting chance. On the other
hand, Hal has the cats to tussle with on a regular basis, making him a seasoned
fighter.

The dogs see each other and growl
instantly. They meet midway in the yard before sniffing the hell out of each
other’s asses. I look at Journey who watches the dogs with interest. Christine
stands next to her. I hear Justice babbling inside the house about how she’s
missing the show. Poppy appears next, claiming she hopes Hal rips off my dog’s
ears.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were here,”
she claims when I frown at her.

“Kitty might have long, dopey ears, but
Hal has a short, smashed nose.”

“Your point being?” she challenges.

“My dog is cuter.”

“Our dog is fatter, so there.”

Once the dogs have assessed each other
through ass sniffing, they agreed to an edgy peace. Poppy and Otto decide dogs
are their favorite things ever. The boy isn’t thrilled to see me, but he drops
to his knees to give Kitty a good rubbing.

“I like this shirt on you,” Journey
says as a warning that her hands are about to ravage my chest.

“I like your shirt too,” I say reaching
for her tits.

“Not in front the children.”

“Don’t be modest now, skank,” Poppy
says, sitting on the grass with each dog resting their heads on her thighs.
“Otto is old enough to learn about the birds and the bees.”

“No, he’s not,” Christine says before
Journey can. “He’s eight.”

Poppy frowns back at her mother. “I was
six when I learned.”

“You should learn to knock.”

“You should learn to lock your door.”

“We were in a hurry.”

Poppy reacts dramatically to the
thought of her parents rushing to bang hips. Lots of face twitching is followed
by a fake vomit. Otto watches her and then looks at Journey as if he’s
surrounded by morons.

“Get used to it,” she tells him.

Otto smiles until his gaze reaches me.
I know the boy and I will need to hash things out eventually. We love the same
woman, and neither of us wants to share. We’ll need to accept how Journey’s
heart is big enough for us both.

Once I’m satisfied Kitty won’t get
ganged up on, I leave him with Poppy and Otto. I reach the door, only for
Justice to block my entry.

“Holding a grudge?” she asks.

“Why would I?”

“You’re lying.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re not scary. I’ve lived with that
for twenty-four years.”

Justice gestures at Journey, who walks
past her and says, “Stop being so dramatic. He’s a big softie. Except having
your car towed, he won’t do a damn thing.”

Justice looks horrified at me. “Not my
car. I’ll make it up to you. I promise. Do you need any sex advice? I’ve gotten
quite good in the last few months.”

“No, I’m good.”

“Please don’t tow my car,” she
whispers.

“I’ll try not to, but I’m a moody guy.”

Justice doesn’t like my answer but says
nothing. I follow Journey through the house, past the sleeping cats, and out
the back door. We end up at a picnic table.

“Court is dealing with club crud, so
there’s no one here to grill. I don’t trust any of us vaginas not to undercook
the meat. Do you know how to grill?”

“Not really. I could give it a try.”

Journey glances at the grill and then
back at me. “Maybe my dad can come over for dinner.”

“That would be great,” I say overly
enthusiastically.

Journey grins at my tone. “The guy
loves you. I had to fight him off and claim you as my own. It was a tough
battle, but I won your heart.”

“That you did.”

Journey loses her smile. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve got something happening in
here,” she says, tapping my forehead.

“Yeah, I do,” I say, pulling out a
brochure from my back pocket. “I want to go away for a few days. This place
looks remote enough to give us privacy, but not so much that you can’t get TV
reception.”

A wary Journey holds the Happy Pines
Resort brochure gingerly in her hands.

“Where did you hear about this?”

“I had a 911 at a hotel yesterday.
After I dealt with the problem, I found the brochure in one of those stands
about local attractions. It looks interesting. They have hiking, and we both
love that.”

Journey gives me a little smile, and
she finally opens the brochure.

“There’s horseback riding and acorn
gathering and other amazing crap we won’t do. The rooms have Jacuzzi tubs. I’ve
never enjoyed your body while in a hot tub, so I’m sold. Will you go with me,
so I’m not alone in a Jacuzzi with only my hand and thoughts of you?”

“I don’t know. I mean, the thought of
you jacking it in a resort is pretty fricking sexy. On the other hand, I’d
prefer to see that in person.”

“I’d give you a real show,” I say,
tugging at her shirt and imagining what’s hiding underneath.

Journey stops fighting a smile and
shrugs. “I’m not doing anything with acorns.”

“Of course not. How fucking stupid
would that be? I just want to take you somewhere away from here.”

Journey studies me, and I know she’s
over thinking shit. As a smart woman, she understands how this kind of trip is
a big deal for a guy like me.

For once, I’m not playing it safe.
Despite my big move, Journey remains wary. I even sense she believes this trip
might be our end.

Donovan

W
hen I arrive to pick up Journey for our
weekend away, she claims she isn’t done packing. I suspect she just needs a
last minute pep talk from her family. I catch sight of them huddled up in the
kitchen.

The kids sit in the living room,
watching me. Felix smiles awkwardly. While he knows me, it’s not well enough to
make conversation. Matilda peeks over the back of the couch and stares like I’m
a monster. Otto gives me an ugly look, and I think he wants to hit me.

“Let’s go outside for a minute, Otto.”

“No.”

“I want to talk to you man to man. Do
you think you can handle that?”

Otto considers my challenge. In the
kitchen, Journey and the women now watch me warily. They say nothing when the
boy and I walk outside.

“I think it’s time you and I aired out
some things,” I say once on the porch.

Crossing his little arms in the same way
Journey does when pissed, he mutters, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I don’t care. We need to get this
square since Journey loves us both.”

“I don’t think she loves you.”

“Well, you’re wrong. So let’s compare
sob stories. You have a shitty mom. I had one too. You have a no-show dad. Me
too. In a contest so far, we’re even, but my sob story is about to kick yours,
little man. I hear you have a grandma who loves you something fierce. Is that
true?”

Otto wants to say no, but he can’t talk
shit about his grandma. He finally nods.

“Well, my grandma didn’t want me
around. I mean she was friendly to my face. She’s the kind of person who smiles
at you when you’re in the room and then talks bad about you when you’re not.”

Otto glances around, and I catch a bit
of recognition in his eyes.

“You also have a brother and sister. I
never had any. I’d be in my house alone with my shitty mom. There was never
anyone to play with. I never had any pets either. You have Hal and those cats.
That’s pretty lucky in my book.”

Otto looks back at the house where Hal
and Kitty watch us from the window. He smiles at the dogs and then returns his
gaze to me.

“Now here’s the kicker. You have
Journey and her family. They’re good people, and they care about you. We know
they don’t have to. Your mom wasn’t nice to Justice, but they don’t hold that
against you. They know you’re a kid, and it’s not your fault your mom is a
bitch.”

I pause long enough for Otto to say
something in defense of his mother, but he remains silent.

“You’ve got your own room here, and
they help you with your homework and take you places. They play with you too.
I’d have killed to have people care about me like that when I was growing up.”

Otto’s blues eyes register a bit of
understanding at what I’m saying.

“So you have all these people loving
you, but I just have Journey. Now I know you don’t want me coming around. I
know you don’t like when Journey spends time with me and not with you, but you
can’t be selfish like that. You have a lot of good stuff in your life, and it’s
not fair for you to hog it. Your mom is selfish, but Journey gives up stuff for
other people. So do you want to be like your mom or like Journey?”

“My mom isn’t evil.”

“I never said she was. My mom wasn’t
evil either, but she wasn’t a good mom. She forgot about me a lot. She yelled
at me when she was in a bad mood or fighting with other people. She didn’t
remember to tell me she loved me. My mom loved herself more than she loved me.
Your mom’s the same way. She loves you, but it’s not a good love like
Journey’s. You might be a kid, but you know how it feels when someone cares and
when they don’t.”

Otto shrugs, but he knows exactly what
I’m saying. He loves his mom. I loved mine too. I wanted to be close to her,
but she just never had that same craving with me. I doubt Otto got much
attention from Becca. His grandma raised him first, and now Journey and her
family are doing the job. Becca was good at making kids. Once they were born,
her mothering skills became a whole other story.

“Do we understand each other?” I ask.

“We share,” he says, frowning. “You
can’t take her.”

“Journey needs you, kid. She talks
about you when we’re together. She’s always thinking about you. I love her too
much to take away someone she needs.”

Still uneasy, Otto shuffles from one
foot to another. “You can’t hog her either. My mom might come back, and I won’t
be able to live here.”

“If your mom tries to take you away, I
bet you’ll have some say in what happens. Journey won’t step aside or let your
mom hurt you or make you suffer. I won’t either. I know how to get people in
trouble and go away. I can do that with your mom if she tries to hurt you. I
think maybe the three of us can protect each other. Journey doesn’t need so
much protecting, but you and I are different. We grew up in not such great
families. We understand each other, don’t we, Otto?”

Tears threaten his blue eyes. He looks
up at me and nods. “We can share.”

“Good. Journey needs us both, and we
want her to be happy.”

Nodding again, he wipes his eyes. “I
wasn’t crying.”

“Crying ain’t a problem, kid. Only
thing that matters is what happens after you’re done crying.”

Otto nods, wiping his eyes angrily. He
might not be Journey’s kid, but I see a lot of him in her. They share a
stubborn streak. I also notice how they both reveal a hint of a smile when
they’re struggling against the urge to cry.

When the object of our discord steps
onto the porch, we possessively stare at her. I don’t know what Journey sees on
our faces, but her worried expression fades before she rolls her eyes.

“Men,” she mutters and walks inside to
get her bags.

I smile at Otto. The kid isn’t sure how
to process how he feels. At eight, I didn’t know how to do much more than to
dodge trouble. No longer a kid, I can’t avoid what I fear any longer. Not if I
plan to keep Journey.

Journey

T
he resort is in the middle of nowhere.
At least, it feels as if we’ve been driving in the woods for an eternity.
Donovan doesn’t say much. He follows the GPS instructions and listens to
whatever music I choose on the radio. We’re both too silent as if worried
anything we say will make things worse.

Fear isn’t something I’m comfortable
with, and today is no exception. I hate hiding from my feelings. From his
feelings. From the future I’m afraid won’t turn out how I dream.

So I say what I’m thinking and brace
myself for the consequences of asking the question.

“Is this trip a test? Like if we fail,
do we give up?”

Donovan gives me a quick side glance.
“I don’t know about you, but I can’t give up. For me, it’ll never be over. If
you dump me and find another man and have his kids, I’ll still wait for you to
find your way back to me. I can’t see any other way for this to end than us
together.”

The certainty of his words reassures
me. So does the stubborn clenching of his jaw. Donovan normally runs hot and
cold, and I keep waiting for him to cut me loose. Based on his expression, he
won’t be the one to walk away.

“I keep expecting things to get easier.
What if they never do?”

Never taking his gaze off the road,
Donovan shrugs. “You’d be smart to stop expecting us to be like Court and
Justice. You and I are cranky motherfuckers. I doubt we’d make anything easy
even if we tried.”

Smiling, I lean over and rest my cheek
against his arm. “One day, we can send out Christmas cards and sign them ‘love
from the cranky motherfuckers.’ I bet your family will approve.”

“It’ll sure give them something to talk
about.”

“Is that something you ever think
about?” I ask, pushing again. “Holidays together. Other family stuff.”

“I think of it all the time.”

“What kinds of things do you imagine?”

“I want two kids. I didn’t like growing
up alone. I know any kid of yours won’t be alone with your family, but I’ve
always just hated the idea of having a single kid.”

I think about Otto and whether Donovan
considers the boy as one of the two. Refusing to ask, I can’t deal with his
answer. I’m strong enough to survive if he rejects me, but I don’t think I can
handle him turning on Otto.

“Do you care if they’re boys or girls?”
I ask instead of pushing the Otto issue.

“No, but it might be fun to have one of
each. Of course, I see you and your sisters and think the same gender could be
fun too.”

“I don’t care either. I’ve wanted a
baby since I was nineteen, and a neighbor girl brought her newborn over to show
off. I didn’t like her and her baby’s name was stupid like Tyme. When I held
that baby, though, my ovaries roared to life. I’ve been craving a baby since
then. I think if Christine weren’t dealing with a failing marriage and a wild
teenager, I might have gotten knocked up years ago. I’d have grabbed a decent
looking guy from a bar or maybe ordered sperm through the mail.”

Donovan smirks. “The thought of you
with your legs in the air and a turkey baster in your hand makes me smile.”

Sharing his grin, I add, “Justice
offered to impregnate me. Claimed if she was holding the turkey baster that
she’d be the daddy. No way was I letting her anywhere near my vagina. Besides,
between her and me, I’d be a better daddy.”

“Your family is weird.”

“Your family is dull,” I say
immediately.

“That they are.”

“Weird is addictive once you get a
taste.”

“Don’t I know it,” he says, leaning
over to give my head a quick kiss. “Well, no turkey basters for you, missy.
You’re getting the real deal.”

“What if I told you I was already
pregnant?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“So would you freak out if I told you I
was?”

“A man who doesn’t use a condom can’t really
freak out about his girl turning up pregnant.”

“What would you do?”

“Marry you and keep you with me
forever. Would that be a problem?” he asks, daring me to complain.

“No, but maybe we shouldn’t get
married. I think us having a kid out of wedlock would piss off your family. I’d
like to make them squirm. They’re the kind of tightly wound, stuck up sorts
that get under my skin in a bad way.”

“But I’m the kind of tightly wound,
stuck up sort that gets under your skin in a good way, right?”

“You're not stuck up.”

“Oh, I am. You know I’m judgmental.
You’ve heard me talk about my neighbors.”

“True but I doubt you say anything half
as bad as they say about you.”

Donovan grins. “No doubt they think I’m
an asshole.”

“You are an asshole. That’s why I want
you. It’s like looking in a mirror.”

Laughing, Donovan relaxes next to me. I
am so used to him as a ball of tension that I sometimes forget just how tightly
wound the guy is under all of his easy smiles. His father’s outlaw blood might
run through his veins, but he has the Mooney’s hyper awareness about him too.
We are what life and genetics give us.

While we finish driving to the resort,
I allow my mind to imagine what Donovan and my kids might be like. Would they
have his easy smile or my snarly smirk? Would they get blue eyes like him or
would their eyes change colors like mine? No matter what the kids look like, I
suspect they’ll inherit their parents’ grumpy weirdness.