Snow Angel (33 page)

Jacob deserved a lot more than her waffling. She couldn’t let Rick see the conflict in her eyes. She and Jacob loved each other, belonged together. She believed that without question. But man, the logistics were a bitch.

She set it aside to think about later.

“Thanks,” Melinda said, then pushed her cousin away with a playful huff. “And shut up.”

“I mean it,” he said.

“But…” Melinda paused, shifting awkwardly, the worry getting the better of her.

Did she really want to ask the question burning a hole through the center of her heart? More importantly, did she really want an honest answer?

“What?” Rick asked, checking his face in the mirror for any last traces of makeup and flicking his curls back into place.

“Is it… Do you think it’s bad, or, I don’t know, says something, you know—”
Spit it out, Melinda.
“—says something bad about me that it seems like I’ve gotten over Mitch so fast? Maybe this is all rebounding, because you know Jacob just broke up with somebody, too, and—”

“Mel,” Rick interrupted her babbling with a dramatic eye roll. “My God, you think too much.”

Tossing his second washcloth into the hamper, he straightened to his full height, brushed his hands off, and became very businesslike.

“All it tells me is that you’re smarter than the average girl, which I already knew, and Jacob’s maybe smarter than the average guy, which is a huge surprise—”

“Shut up.”

“—but seriously, where’s it written that you have to pull your hair and gnash your teeth over a breakup for any particular length of time? That kind of thing plays better on the stage.”

“I don’t know,” Melinda said, frowning at her nails. “It seems so unfeeling. So cold, to love somebody one day and be over them the next. Don’t most people go through a mourning period? Even if the whole thing was a lie…” She trailed off lamely, confused and uncertain.

Gentle now, Rick hugged her again, and Melinda rested her cheek against his steady heartbeat.

“I think you did mourn him, intensely, for two full days,” he said, “which is way more than the bastard deserved. I think you’re a good, strong, loving person, whose natural tendency is to be positive and bounce back, not wallow around in misery. Especially misery caused by a guy who turned out to be a liar and a coward. And I think you deserve to be happy again, as soon as humanly possible, and for the rest of your life.”

“You’re sure?” she asked, chewing her bottom lip. This particular point seemed monumentally important.

“I’m sure.”

“What about our families and everything? If he and I—”

“What? You guys aren’t Romeo and Juliet, caught in the middle of feuding families. Stay away from daggers and poison and you’ll be fine.”

“No, it’s worse! They’re all best friends.
We’re
best friends, and if we mess it up we’ll destroy their friendships, too, not just ours. All of us, our whole group would be different. Think about it. Jake’s your friend, too.”

“Of course he is, so what?”

“Do you remember my friends, Carl and Donna? When they broke up, it was a disaster for everyone. And Jake’s aunt and uncle are getting divorced and—”

“Wow, you’ve got a whole apocalypse going on in there,” Rick interrupted, drilling a finger into the middle of her forehead. He gave her a wicked grin. “I’d be more worried about both of your sucky relationship track records.”

“Thanks a lot. I’m serious.”

“Me, too.” He sighed. “Listen, Mel, first of all, give the rest of us a little credit. We’ll handle our own relationships, however the chips fall. You can’t avoid taking a risk because it might upset some people later.”

“It’s not only that,” she protested. “I don’t want to lose him, either.”

“Mel, he loves you. He told me so himself, and Christian, too. If you love him, that’s all that matters. And give yourselves some credit, too. You’ve been friends your whole lives. Do you really think you’d throw that away because the romance didn’t work out?”

“But—”

If you love him…

She did. So, so much. But sometimes love wasn’t enough.

Opening the door at his back, Rick grasped her chin, leaning into her face until they were nose to nose.

“Follow your heart, not your head, cousin o’mine, ‘cuz we already know how twisted your brain is.” Before she could smack at him, he dropped a kiss on her nose, then backed away. “Now, listen, because you’re right about one thing. Jacob’s a good guy, and he’s my friend. So don’t screw it up.”

Then he ran before she could hit him with her hairbrush.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Melinda followed Rick out of the bathroom slowly, her brows pinched together. What a bizarre conversation. Not that
bizarre
was unusual where conversations with Rick were concerned, but a knot of unsettled sensation had lodged itself somewhere between her lungs and her belly.

Half reassured, half not.

She sighed.

Follow her heart.

It sounded so easy, and maybe it would be if she could trust in a future that would make them both happy. She loved Jacob. She believed he loved her. What to do about it was something else again.

Rick was one to talk about the track record thing—he’d never had a successful relationship, either—even if he was right about her and Jacob. Neither of them had stayed with anyone more than a few months. Mitch was the closest she’d come to a real relationship, and their three months together had been built on a foundation of lies.

Then again, she and Jacob had already been best friends their entire lives. That had to count for something, didn’t it?

What made a successful relationship at their ages, anyway? Fun, friendship, respect, they had those. Loyalty, trust. Shared values. Similar interests, too. They loved each other’s friends and families. She ticked each item off on mental fingers.

And they were
clearly
hot for each other, she added with a guilty snicker.

She was only twenty-one. Jacob, too. It wasn’t like any of them, even including her older cousins or her brother or any of their friends, were looking to get married now.

They were only having fun.

But…

Melinda stopped in the middle of the hallway.

Married.

If she and Jacob got together, it could never be only about having fun, not with their history. Their families. A boulder seemed to crash land in the middle of her chest, the weight of it immense.

For a moment, she couldn’t breathe.

She’d had shades of that thought before, yet now that a real potential future stared her in the face, it suddenly seemed much scarier.

It wasn’t only about where they’d live or their careers, that was just the stage dressing and ignored the larger issue completely. They were fooling themselves. There was no way in hell they could get together, really together, and stay friends if they broke up. It would be too huge. They’d never survive it. A romantic relationship between them could have only two possible outcomes: marriage or disaster.

Could they survive those expectations, that pressure?

Were they ready?

Was she?

Rubbing a hand over her chest, Melinda sucked in a breath and forced her feet forward. There was only one way to find out, but the risks seemed insurmountable.

Reaching the kitchen, she flopped into one of the chairs at the dining table, smiling weakly at Aunt Pat, Lois, and Nancy, who had a deck of cards out, playing poker at the far end of the table.

“Okay, sweetie?” Lois asked.

Melinda avoided Aunt Pat’s piercing, speculative stare and Nancy’s anxious one, but nodded to Lois, not trusting herself to speak quite yet. What could she say?

Oh, sure, I’m just desperately in love with your son and thinking about all the grandbabies we’re going to give you and Bill someday…

She swallowed the panicky laugh. Yeah, right.

The ladies studied her another moment, then went back to their game. Melinda aimed for casual, surreptitiously calming her breathing as she propped her chin in her hand and surveyed the crowd of people spread over the condo.

Her mother perched on the arm of the recliner where her dad sat, deep in conversation with Uncle Allan, Peter, and Bill. Karen had one arm draped around Stan’s neck, and her fingers lightly toyed with the ends of his hair. He had a drink in one hand, his other arm wrapped casually over her mother’s thighs, his big hand absently stroking the outside of her calf.

Love for her parents swamped her, made her teary. They were so wonderful together.

Neither of them were really paying attention to each other—they were involved in the group discussion—yet their body language spoke of not only their love for each other, but deep affection, genuine friendship, and an ease together that came from years and years of all three. There was such trust and security between them. Melinda wished she hadn’t left her camera upstairs.

She and Jacob could have that. Had the potential for that. If they were brave. If they could sort out their goals and get past all those external hurdles.

His parents were the same, though perhaps not as touchy-feely as hers, at least in public. But she and Jacob both came from that sort of solid, happily-married background. Within the older generation of family and friends, they had plenty of good examples to follow for building a lasting relationship. And between them, they already had the history and affection, the ease and friendship, the trust.

Passion, too.

Yeah.

Sexual attraction was clearly not an issue, she thought again, and had to suppress another wild snicker as an image from earlier in the day burst into her mind, and a deeply sensual zing shot straight to her core.

It lit her up like a comet, every nerve end tingling. She gasped. She couldn’t help it.

Melinda cast her eyes around quickly to make sure no one could read her emotions on her face, and gasped yet again when she found Jacob’s eyes blazing into her own from across the room, burning her up with the golden flames dancing in their depths.

God.

Everything inside her tightened, trembled, twisted into a knot of need so taut it was nearly painful. She couldn’t tear her eyes away. The space between them seemed to crackle, as though live wires writhed over the innocent carpet and bland linoleum, scorching everything in their wake.

Oh. Oh-oh-oh.

She made some sound deep in her throat, a sort of hum, then coughed to cover it when she caught Aunt Pat glancing her way out of the corner of her eye.

Jacob grinned.

Slowly.

Wickedly.

The memory of the kisses they’d shared flared brighter, sent the tingles spiraling. His expression said he knew exactly what she was thinking.

Wanting.

Needing.

He blinked, again slowly, his eyes half-lidded now as he stared at her, holding her prisoner with his gaze, and his lips parted. Just a bit. Just enough to have her thinking about his tongue. About the way he’d ravaged her mouth.

His eyes promised he’d do it again.

Melinda’s hands began to sweat. Her breathing changed, still too fast, but deeper now, and she became acutely aware of the rise and fall of her chest, of her breasts lifting beneath her sweater, her rigid nipples brushing the insides of her bra cups.

Aching.

Hungering.

Jacob’s gaze landed there, an almost physical caress. Swept lower. Her thigh muscles clenched. His grin widened. Went wolfish.

His eyes said he wanted—needed—too.

Jacob licked his lips, and oh, God, she was one hard heartbeat away from throwing all caution to the winds, leaping on him, and devouring him whole.

They had to stop this before she orgasmed right here, in front of everyone, in front of her
family
, in the middle of the damn condo.

She needed air.

Water.

An ice-cold shower.

He held her there on the strength of his gaze alone, motionless, yet quivering with need. He kept her poised on the dangerous edge until the quivers became a quake, until the quake threatened to shake her apart, to toss her right over that edge and out into space.

At the last possible second, he relented. The fire in his eyes banked to a smolder, and the intensity dimmed. His mouth quirked, a friendly grin. His dimples flashed. He winked at her before turning his gaze away.

Melinda collapsed back in her seat, equal parts raging, unfulfilled desperation, and shivering, helpless relief.

She’d had no idea he stocked that kind of fire power in his arsenal.

There would come a time she’d make him pay for it, too, she vowed, in every delicious way she could think of. She might even research a few more online.

For now, thank God, her temperature, her breathing, and her hard, pounding pulse were returning to normal, and no one seemed any the wiser.

But still, she craved…

Scanning the room again, she swallowed a slightly hysterical giggle. Seriously, how tuned out were these people? They’d just missed one hell of a show.

No, desire was not a problem for them. Unexpected, yes. And wonderful and amazing and so, just… Wow. Breathtaking. Soul shaking. But a problem? No.

Cautiously, Melinda rose to her feet, grateful to find her legs would hold her. Jacob’s eyes met hers again, and she gave her head one quick shake, telling him not to follow her. She needed a minute.

She escaped upstairs and flopped on her bed, her arms and legs splayed wide, gulping air into her lungs the way she hadn’t been able to downstairs without drawing unwanted attention. Eyes closed, she waited for her overblown system to finish leveling out.

Melinda ran her fingers through her hair and down her body, remembering Jacob’s hands smoothing the curls down her back, sweeping across her bare skin. She’d thought his kisses were potent, and they were. Oh, they were. No question.

But
whew
.

She’d never experienced anything like what just happened. From simple eye contact.

Her pulse rate picked up again simply thinking about it, and her body cried out with unsatisfied needs. If he could do that with a glance, what would it be like when they finally…

Oh, boy.

She needed a distraction.

Remembering her camera, Melinda finally relaxed fully. Perfect. She could hide behind the lens for a while, keep a barrier between herself and Jacob. She couldn’t afford for him to send her into orbit in front of everyone again. Not until they talked and either made things official… or backed off before it was too late.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jacob watched from beneath lowered lids as Melinda descended the loft stairs twenty minutes later. She had her new camera around her neck and composure pasted over her face, but she didn’t fool him. Even from this distance, he could see the pulse jumping at the base of her throat.

Good.

His was, too.

Holy crap, he’d thought his body was going to explode when their eyes tangled. The thrill of it, of taking her to that edge and knowing he kept her there, knowing she’d responded to him so fully, even while they were surrounded by people in the crowded room…

Not even touching.

It was incredible.

He’d deliberately set out to seduce her, yet at the end of it, she wasn’t the only one so turned on she could hardly walk a straight line to the staircase.

Hot.

She was incredibly, astoundingly hot.

And that wasn’t all, but… Was it any wonder he hadn’t been able to keep her out of his head these past many months?

He’d never experienced that sort of compelling force before, that level of desperation. His craving for her was out of control.

Even now, with his body finally beaten back into submission, he could feel the threads of restraint straining against the need the closer she moved.

Melinda smiled at him as she lifted the camera to her face and snapped his picture. Jacob wondered what the photograph would show when she had it printed. Would she be able to read the lust in his eyes?

“Kidney bean,” he said, so nobody around them would notice anything off. Hoping nobody would notice the sizzling intensity sparking off both of them in flashes and flares.

“Eggplant.”

He hoped no one else said anything to him, because their voices were nothing but bees buzzing in his brain. His ears seemed tuned only to her voice, low and husky and just a little amused, and God, so sexy.

Just looking at her now short-circuited his system.

Moving around behind him, she trailed a finger inside the collar of his shirt along the base of his neck, and chills raced down his spine, then flashed outward to either side like an electrical storm. He shuddered visibly, and his whole body sprang with damp.

Aha
, he thought over the vibrations coursing along his skin.
She still wants to play.

Jacob reached backward, grasping for a knee or a leg, but she danced out of range, laughing at him. Though he let her go, she sent him a long, slow smile in return for the look he gave her. His heart kicked hard in his chest, but he grinned.

After that, she kept her distance, seeming to concentrate on taking candids of everyone, but he could still smell her, still feel the heat of her, no matter where she stood or sat in the room. He caught her watching him through the camera lens more than once.