Snow Angels (9 page)

“If we bought this we could copy sixteen DVDs at one time. And, you can even network with up to seven other units so, all told,” Dean closed his eyes for a moment, doing the math in his head, “you could eventually make 112 copies all at once!”

“But Dean, we only have seven people on the list who’ve asked for tapes. We don’t need to make 112 copies—of anything! Five of the seven shut-ins on that list are in their eighties. They don’t have DVD players. Heck, most of them don’t even have cable. If we mailed them a DVD, what would they do with it?”

Riley sighed and shook his head. “Pastor Andy, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but that’s just the problem around here. You can’t just think about serving the congregation you’ve got now. You should be thinking about serving the congregation you will have: the congregation you could have ten years from now if you just had a little vision.”

The younger man’s voice was low and earnest. “Ten years ago, my old church back in North Carolina wasn’t much bigger than we are right now. But then our old pastor retired and the church called a younger man to serve. From the very first day he started changing things, making plans, plans for the church he thought we
could
be. He had a vision and it was contagious! Everybody got on board and decided to build a bigger, better church. Sure enough, within three years, they’d outgrown that building and had to buy land to build another church with a sanctuary that could seat four times as many. And don’t you know? Today, that church is full, too. Six thousand people crowd that church every Sunday morning! It’s a megachurch. One of the biggest and best in the state!”

Riley paused for a moment, letting his story sink in. The rest of the board was silent, a few shaking their heads in wonderment and others leaning toward Riley, anxious to hear what else he had to say. Only Denny Sugarman, sitting on a folding chair with his arms crossed over his red and green flannel shirt, seemed unimpressed.

“Again, I mean no disrespect, Andy. But I’m wondering—have you really stopped to consider what we might be on the cusp of here in Maple Grove? After all, the church is growing…”

Andy pressed his lips together and silently prayed for patience.

“I know that, Riley. We all know that. And no one could be more delighted about it than I am. That’s why I think it would be a good idea to invest in some new sound equipment, maybe buy a second refrigerator for the kitchen. If we keep growing at the rate we have been, in a couple of years we probably will need to add some classrooms onto the education wing. But we don’t need a machine that will duplicate 112 DVDs at once, and we don’t need a heated and chlorinated baptistery, or an Italian espresso maker, or videoconferencing, or valet parking!”

Andy, aware that his prayer for patience seemed to have gone unanswered, consciously lowered his voice.

“We are growing, it’s true. Gone are the days when every member of this congregation can have his or her own personal pew and I thank the good Lord for that. But we are a long way from being standing-room-only on Sunday mornings. And if we do get to that point, we can always add additional services.

“To answer your question, Riley, yes. I have considered what we’re on the cusp of here in Maple Grove. More importantly, I’ve prayed about it. We are growing and every day I pray for wisdom, strength, resources, and guidance to keep in step with that growth and to meet the needs of everyone who comes to our door. So far, I think we’ve done that. And if God wills it, we’ll grow some more. This is His church, after all. Not my church. Not yours. God’s. And He’s chosen to put it in a small but growing
rural
community.

“This is Vermont, Riley. Not the hi-tech triangle. Winters here are long and harsh. The landscape is beautiful, breathtakingly so, but life here can be hard. Not many people choose to make their home in this part of the world. Although,” Andy said, looking at the ring of weathered, wind-chapped faces that circled him, “the ones who do are among the hardest working, kindest hearted people in the world. But, Riley, even though we are growing, Maple Grove is still a small town. We’re a community church. Not a megachurch. Unless something changes drastically in the state of Vermont, that’s what we’ll go on being. That’s our mission. To serve this community.”

Andy shrugged before sitting back in his chair. “I don’t know about you, but I’m all right with that.”

It was a good speech
, Andy thought. Good enough to make everyone step back for a minute and rethink their priorities. The meeting broke up shortly after and Andy drove home feeling better than he had in a long time.

But now, sitting alone in his office and replaying the scene in his mind, Andy realized that the chance to refocus the board’s priorities hadn’t been the only source of his satisfaction that night. If he was honest with himself, he’d enjoyed taking the wind out of Riley Roth’s sails. The younger man’s subtle but continual criticism had gotten under his skin. And if he was really honest with himself, he had to admit that he just didn’t like Riley, not at all.

Andy put his elbows on his desk, rested his head on his hands, and closed his eyes.

Well, there it is, God. I don’t like Riley. Not that this is news to You, but I’ve been doing a pretty good job of fooling myself, haven’t I? The truth is, I’ve resented him and the other night, I got a lot of pleasure in bringing him down a peg. That was wrong of me. I’m sorry. Please forgive me
.

And help me to forgive Riley. He’s not a bad guy; just young and brash. Like I was at his age. I’m sure that senior pastor back in Oregon had to forgive me for exactly the same thing, so how can I hold this against Riley? Help me to forgive him, Lord, and to forget my wounded pride. What right do I have to take any pride in this church anyway? I meant what I said about that. This is Your church. Any good thing that happens here is Your doing, not mine. I’m just lucky enough to work for You. Help me to remember that and to love the people You’ve allowed me to serve, all of them, even the ones who sometimes seem so unlovable. Even Riley. Amen.

When Andy opened his eyes his headache was gone. That didn’t surprise him. He’d discovered years ago that, much of the time, a heart-to-heart with God was a pretty good aspirin substitute.

Andy looked at his watch. Quarter to five. He picked up the phone to call Kendra at the studio to tell her he’d be home for dinner, but then remembered that she had a tap class today. She wouldn’t be able to hear the phone over the clatter of tap shoes. That was all right. It’d be fun to surprise her. Maybe he’d even stop and buy her some flowers on the way home.

Deciding he had just enough time to grab a cup of coffee before the meeting started, Andy put down the phone and headed down the hallway to the church kitchen, asking Ruth, his secretary, if she’d like him to bring back a cup for her.

Ruth was sitting in front of the computer, putting the finishing touches on the Sunday bulletin. Her reading glasses slipped down to the end of her nose as she peered at the clock on the wall. “It’s nice of you to offer, but it’s about ten minutes to the weekend and I’m heading home. Are you staying late again tonight? I didn’t see anything on your schedule.”

“Board meeting. Kind of a last-minute thing.”

Ruth frowned. “On Friday night? You just had a meeting three days ago. Why do you need another one? Andy, you’re working too hard. When’s the last time you…”

Andy held up his hand, interrupting Ruth’s stream of disapproval. “I know. I know. But this really is necessary, more of an extending of the olive branch than a meeting. I’ll be out of here early, I promise. I’m going to have dinner at home.”

“Well, it’s a good thing,” she scolded. “You can’t be everything to everybody. You’ve got to save a little time for your family. Poor Kendra’s probably forgotten what you look like. If I were you, I’d stop and pick up some flowers on your way home tonight.”

“Already thought of that,” Andy called over his shoulder as he left the office and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

“Good night, Andy.”

“Good night, Ruth. See you on Sunday.”

Andy hummed to himself as he walked down the corridor, wondering if the florist would have Kendra’s favorite tulips in stock. Unlikely at this time of year, but pink roses would do. And he’d pick up a bag of those dark chocolate kisses that Thea liked so much too. It had been ages since he’d done that.

He couldn’t wait to get this meeting over with and go home, couldn’t wait to see his family and to surprise Kendra and Thea with his presents. He was just about to turn the corner that led to the kitchen when he heard a man’s voice, Riley Roth’s voice, talking to someone. Andy stopped.

“Look, I’m not saying that Andy Loomis isn’t a fine, dedicated pastor. But is he the kind of leader who can take it to the next step? Does he still have that fire in his belly? This is a nice church, a growing church, but why settle for that? Why not try to make this the biggest, best church in the state of Vermont? Or even New England? Somebody has to be the best; why shouldn’t it be us? We’re halfway there already; why not go whole hog? All we need is the right kind of leadership, some real vision!

“Now, I know a fellow back at my old church in North Carolina, one of the assistant pastors, and he’s just the sort of guy I’m talking about…”

After Nora left, Kendra was alone in the dance studio. Advanced beginners’ tap was the last class of the day. People liked to keep their Friday evenings free so Kendra didn’t run any classes after five on Friday.

Kendra changed into street clothes, pulling on a pair of maternity jeans over her tights, turned out the lights, and locked the door, purposely keeping her eyes away from her old Rockette photo. In the parking lot, she turned on the car to let it warm up before getting the ice scraper out of the glovebox so she could clear the windshield.

She thought about what she should make for dinner. There was a roaster and some lemons in the icebox; she could make her famous lemon-rosemary chicken, Andy’s favorite. But what was the point? He wouldn’t be home to eat it. He had a meeting at church. And Thea didn’t care.

Standing in the frigid November air, two teardrops seeped from the corners of Kendra’s eyes and tracked down her face. The wind was blowing. Icy granules of snow stung her cheeks as she wiped the tears away with the back of her gloved hand.

By now, she was used to the emotional mood swings of pregnancy and she told herself that was all this was, that she was just being silly.

“Get a grip on yourself. Andy loves you just as much as ever,” she said to the empty air. “He’s just busy, that’s all. Nothing has changed. Do not let your hormones get the best of you.”

During the ten years she lived alone in New York without a spouse, boyfriend, roommate, or even a close girlfriend to confide in, Kendra had gotten into the habit of talking to herself, giving herself the pep talks she felt a friend or loved one would have given her if she’d had one. Since she’d come to Maple Grove and fallen in love with Andy, she’d had less need to engage in these encouraging monologues, but lately, Kendra had fallen back into her old habit.

“Look at you,” she said in a scolding tone. “Standing here and feeling sorry for yourself. If you’re tired of being alone, of spending every night doing the same old thing, then don’t! It’s the weekend. Do something fun!”

Buoyed by this sound advice, Kendra pushed the last of the snow off the windshield with a decisive sweep, got into the car, and began driving toward the high school.

That morning, Thea had informed Kendra that she had dance team practice after school. She wasn’t expecting to be picked up until six but Kendra decided to surprise her and treat her to a real girls’ night out.

Thanksgiving was almost two weeks away, but the stores in Maple Grove stayed open late on Friday. They could do a little early Christmas shopping and then go to dinner at Thea’s favorite Chinese restaurant, Ming’s. If there was time, they could go to the salon and get manicures.

Of course, even the promise of such a wonderful surprise might not be enough to lure Thea away early. As one of only two freshmen who’d made the dance team, Thea was incredibly dedicated; she never missed a practice. If Thea didn’t feel she could leave early, that was all right. Kendra would be content to sit in the bleachers and watch practice. It had been a long time since she’d had a chance to see the team in action.

During her first winter in Maple Grove, Kendra was a volunteer coach for the team. With her help, the girls had placed second at the state competition. But when she opened the studio, Kendra had to give up coaching. It would be fun to see how the routines were coming along this year.

By the time Kendra took a right turn onto the road that led to Maple Grove High, she was in a much better frame of mind. The self-pity that had plagued her only minutes before was entirely banished as she thought about the evening to come, an evening that, if everything worked out the way Kendra hoped, might help close the gap that had opened between Kendra and Thea.

It was a lot to expect from a night of shopping and chicken chow mein, Kendra realized, but you never knew; stranger things had happened. And if there was one thing Kendra had learned since becoming Thea’s stepmother, it was that you could never be certain what a teenager would do. Surprising Thea like this might be the perfect way to restore their relationship. In fact, the more Kendra thought about it, the more she was convinced she was right.

She believed it right up until the moment she drove into the school parking lot, pulled up next to a white pickup truck, and saw fourteen-year-old Thea sitting in the cab of the truck with a much older boy—a boy who had his arms wrapped around Thea and was kissing her passionately.

Andy pulled his car into the driveway next to Kendra’s, turned off the ignition, and sat there.

To say that the evening hadn’t turned out as Andy had planned was an understatement. But during the drive home he’d decided two things: not to let it spoil the rest of his night and not to tell Kendra about it. He didn’t want to upset her. He was upset enough for both of them.

No. Not upset. Mad. He was mad.

Who did that guy think he was? After all Andy had done for Riley, welcomed him to Maple Grove, baptized his twins, and then invited him to join the board. Where did Riley find the nerve to start a whispering campaign against him? How dare he question Andy’s vision and energy, making him sound like some worn-out old workhorse of a minister, ready to be put out to pasture?

“You wanna see fire in the belly, Riley? I’ll show you fire in the belly!” Andy’s fingers curled into a fist and he thumped the edge of the steering wheel. “I may be twelve years older than you but I can still take you. On the worst day of my life and with one hand tied behind my back, I could squish you like a bug. Slimy little creep.”

This wasn’t a worst day, not even close; Andy realized that. As a minister, he was called to be there for people on their best and worst days, to walk beside them through life’s joys and tragedies. He was the one who sat at their bedsides, and preached at their gravesides, who held the hand of the widow and wiped the tears of the orphan. Andy knew what tragedy looked like and that, comparatively, this business with Riley wasn’t that big a deal. But even so, he felt betrayed.

Andy had gone into the ministry because he wanted to serve the people of God and, by extension, God himself. Growing up watching his father minister in this very town, Andy understood what he was getting into. He knew he would work long days for little appreciation and less money, but that was all right. He had peace with God and the satisfaction of knowing that he was putting his time and life to good and useful purpose. That was worth more than a paycheck.

Andy didn’t expect to be patted on the back for his efforts and he knew that, every now and then, he and the members of his church would have disagreements. They were a family, after all, and people in families don’t always see eye to eye. But in all his years in the ministry, no one had ever doubted his drive or his ability to lead.

“Really, where does he get the nerve? Twenty-eight years old, never been to seminary or spent a day in the pulpit, and suddenly he knows everything there is to know about running a church? What’s up with this guy?”

Andy thumped the steering wheel again.

Well, this wasn’t a problem he was going to be able to work out tonight. Besides, he had other things to do than sit here fuming. The car was freezing. He’d better go inside.

He picked up the bag of candy and bouquet of flowers from off the passenger seat and got out of the car, taking big strides across the yard and leaving a trail of footprints in the freshly fallen snow. He kicked the snow off his boots before going in and pasted a smile on his face, eager to salvage the rest of the day and enjoy a nice, quiet evening with his family.

He opened the door, hung his coat on the rack, and sniffed the air but smelled nothing.

That’s funny. Kendra usually has dinner ready by now
.

Andy walked through the family room toward the kitchen. Thea met him coming out, bumped into him in fact, but didn’t speak to him. Instead, she spun around and yelled through the half-open door. “I don’t care what you think! You’re not my mother, so quit trying to act like you are!”

Andy stood still for a moment, confused, feeling as if he’d walked into the middle of the movie. “Hey, hey, hey. Thea. What’s wrong?”

Thea pointed an accusatory finger toward the kitchen. “It’s her! Kendra! She’s trying to ruin my life! I don’t need her to tell me what to do. It’s none of her business anyway.”

“Wait a minute…Thea…” Andy laid his hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you just calm down for a minute? Come back in the kitchen and we’ll talk.”

Thea wrenched her body sideways, pulling away from Andy’s grasp. “I didn’t do anything. If you want to talk, talk to her! Why did you have to marry her anyway? We were fine on our own. I never asked for another mother. I don’t need another mother!” Thea turned toward the kitchen again, shouting this last, before storming down the hall to her bedroom and slamming the door.

So much for a nice, quiet evening with the family
.

Flowers and candy still clutched in his hand, Andy pushed the kitchen door open. “Kendra? Honey? Where are you? I brought you flowers.”

Andy walked through the breakfast room to the kitchen where he found Kendra sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back against the refrigerator, weeping.