Snowed in Together (8 page)

"Tell me what?" Jeff demanded.

Cari chewed her lip. "Jeff … it's not you. It's not me. It's … my great grandpa."

"Your great-grandfather? What's he got to do with anything?"

"He … he's very bitter toward the Japanese. But please understand!" Cari begged. "He was in World War Two, a prisoner of war in the Bataan Death March. He said over seventeen thousand died on that forced march!"

"I'm sorry about what happened to your great-grandfather," Jeff said quietly. "But that was war, and those Japanese were soldiers. I had nothing to do with that."

"I know …." Cari shook her head sadly. "And it's been decades since that war ended. But to my great grandpa, it might as well have happened yesterday."

"I see," Jeff said, his voice strained. "What about you? How do you feel … about me, right now?"

Before Cari could answer, there was a rumble and a low moaning sound. Then the lights went off. And stayed off.

Chapter Ten

"Is it just me?" Tony said. "Or are we all sitting here in, like, total darkness?"

"The lights'll probably come back on soon," Tiffany said in a shaky whisper. "They … they did before."

We waited. We waited some more. The room totally stayed dark.

"This could get boring," Tiffany said with a nervous laugh.

"And cold," Ellyce said. "You'll notice that the heater is no longer blasting away."

"What'll we do?" Cari squeaked.

I noticed Jeff didn't rush in with anything comforting to say to her.

"We could sit here all night hoping the electricity will come back on and slowly freeze to death," Tony said. "Or we could do something about it."

"Such as?"

"Such as dig out those candles from the supply room."

"One, how are we going to find the candles in the dark?" I asked. "And, two, how are we going to light them?"

"Aha!" Tiffany said.

It was weird sitting there in the dark listening to disembodied voices, but somehow that "aha" sounded optimistic to me.

"I've got a pack of matches in my tote bag," Tiffany said.

"Great," Tony said. "If you can find them before we're all numb from hypothermia, we might make it through the night."

"You doubt my talent?" Tiffany said. There was the sound of her rummaging through the tote bag. "Aha, part two! I found the matches." She struck one and brought us all back into dimly-lit focus.

"Keep lighting those." Tony jumped to his feet. He gave Tiffany a hand up. "Follow me," he said, as he headed toward the supply closet.

"I think I remember where the candles are," I said. I summoned all my courage and grabbed Ellyce's hand. "Help me look." When her fingers curved willingly around mine, my heart did somersaults. I wasn’t sure what candle-searching and hand-holding would lead to, but I hoped it was something good.

Tiffany had to light several matches before we found all the candles, candle sticks and candelabras.

"I hope there are enough matches to light all these candles," I said, as Ellyce and I helped stick them into the holders.

"Not to worry," Tiffany said.

Once we filled and lit four candelabras and six candlesticks, not only did we have some light, but I thought I felt some heat too. Not that the room was cold yet, far from it. But eventually it would cool down if the electricity didn't come back on.

I took one of the candelabras and put it down near Korman and Tenray, who seemed to be asleep. Just as I tiptoed away, Ms. Tenray murmured, "Thanks. You guys seem to have everything under control."

"No problem," I said, although I wasn't as confident as Ms. Tenray, in her half-asleep state, was. When I got back to the group, everyone was settled on the mats. Tony and Tiffany huddled together.

"You know, Tony," I said, "the room isn't even cold yet."

"I like to be prepared." Tony grinned.

"Yeah." Tiffany put her head on Tony's shoulder. "We need to conserve body heat."

"Oh. Well, then." I plopped down on the mat, practically in Ellyce's lap, and put my arm around her. I felt a warm glow when she smiled and snuggled close to me. I wanted to pinch myself. Could this really be happening?

I glanced at Jeff and Cari, who sat stiffly and noticeably apart. I wanted to say something that would loosen them up, but I couldn't think of anything. With my arm around Ellyce's waist and her warm breath on my face, I could hardly think at all.

Finally, Cari's voice cut through the silence. "The only thing that matters to me, Jeff Hughes, is what a great guy you are."

Jeff let out a short, startled gasp. "R-really?"

"Yes …." Cari reached over and touched Jeff's arm. "Really." She leaned close and kissed him.

For a second, Jeff just sat there, apparently in shock. Then he recovered and kissed her back.

I wanted so much to kiss Ellyce that I thought I'd explode. But I couldn't get up the nerve. What if she didn't want me to kiss her. It'd ruin whatever connection we did have. I didn't want to risk losing that. Something was better than nothing.

I noticed Tony and Tiffany, their lips locked in a major-production kiss. Were tongues involved? I couldn't tell for sure. I kinda felt I shouldn't look, but I couldn't take my eyes off them. Ellyce was totally silent, so I figured she was watching them too.

Suddenly Tiffany pulled out of the kiss, like a pilot pulling up the plane about to land. It looked as if Tony didn't want to stop kissing, but he didn't have much choice. It's pretty hard to kiss someone without some basic cooperation from the kissee.

"I just remembered!" Tiffany said. "We were going to reveal our Deepest Secrets!"

"I don't know," I said quickly. "I don't think it's such a good idea." By that, of course, I meant it was a seriously horrible idea.

"Come on." Tiffany gestured toward Cari and Jeff. "Look what it did for them."

Almost ruined everything, I wanted to point out. But I didn't.

Tiffany poked Tony in the stomach. "I want to know more about you. What's your deepest secret?"

"I have no secrets." Tony grinned. "My life is an open book."

There must be some--" Tiffany snapped her fingers. "I know! I heard you quit the wrestling team last year, but you never told anyone why. So. Why?"

The grin slipped off Tony's face. He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Come on." Tiffany poked Tony again. "There must be a reason."

"I … I just got tired of it."

"I heard you quit because you were chicken," Tiffany said. "Is that it? Were you afraid?"

Big. Fat. Silence.

Finally, Tony said, "Yeah! I was afraid." His face turned bright red. "But not that I'd get hurt. I was afraid of what I might do to someone else!"

"Huh?" Tiffany backed away from Tony. "What would you do that would be so awful?"

"I know the wrestling team doesn't get the attention that football does, so I guess it's not common knowledge. I broke a guy's arm in my last match. I didn't think I was on him that hard. I mean, what if it'd been his neck?" Tony turned away, his face red and hard.

I got that twisted feeling in my stomach again. With all of us cooped up together it was as if a virus was going around that made us tell our secrets and then filled us with all kinds of pain. Well, I was determined to stay immune to that virus.

I noticed Ellyce was awfully quiet. I had a feeling she was as uncomfortable as I was. She probably didn't like hearing other people's secrets. I was sure she didn't have any, at least nothing as bad as mine.

Tiffany placed her hand on Tony's arm. "Hey. Not wanting to hurt somebody sounds like a good reason for quitting the team to me."

"Yeah?" Tony turned and threw Tiffany a skeptical look.

"Yeah. Really." Tiffany smiled and curled her fingers through Tony's hair.

Tony eased into a smile. He dotted the tip of her nose with his finger. "So. What's your secret?"

Tiffany rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't want to hear my secrets."

"Ha!" Tony, Jeff and Cari said at once.

"Just kidding!" Tiffany flashed a mysterious smile. "First secret. My stepfather."

"What about him?" Tony asked.

"Let me guess," Jeff said. "He's a spy."

"F.B.I.?" Cari suggested.

Ellyce and I stayed out of the guessing game. I wondered if she hoped that by not guessing, the secret telling would end. I know that’s what I was hoping.

Tiffany shook her head. "He's an insurance agent. That's not the secret."

"What then?" Tony asked.

"He's my stepfather, so you probably think he's my mother's second husband."

After a suspenseful pause, Tony jumped in with a guess. "He's your mother's first husband. Your mother and father never married!"

"No. Good guess, though."

"So he must be your mother's third husband," Cari said.

"You're getting warm."

"Fourth husband?" Jeff asked, as if he didn't really believe it.

"Warmer …."

"Her fifth husband?" Tony asked in a tone of amazement.

"Bingo!" Tiffany raised her index finger for emphasis.

"Wow." Tony whistled softly. "Where does your actual father fit into the lineup?"

"He was her first husband," Tiffany said, almost offhandedly. "He lives in
Boston
. With his third wife. I see him about once a year."

"Yikes," Cari said. "Hasn't it been kinda … confusing with all those stepfathers? And stepmothers."

"Not the stepmothers, so much. I hardly ever see them. But, yep," Tiffany said. "Why do you think I go to a therapist every Thursday afternoon?"

"You go to a therapist?" Ellyce asked, clearly surprised.

"Oops." Tiffany put her hand over her mouth. Then she said, "Secret number two."

"No biggie," Ellyce said. "Lots of people need some therapy once in a while."

"Yeah," Tiffany said. "I don't know why I haven't said anything about it before. It's actually helped me. I mean, now I know why as soon as I know for sure a guy I like starts to like me, I lose interest."

"Um. Why is that?" Tony said.

"Duh. I'm afraid of commitment," Tiffany said. "I mean, having four stepfathers, I guess it isn't a surprise."

"Is the therapy, uh, helping with that?" Tony said.

I couldn't wait to hear Tiffany's answer. Who wants to be dusted off like spilled crumbs the second you lay your feelings on the line?

"It's helped a lot," Tiffany said. "Really.” A thoughtful smile curved her mouth. “It has."

"Okay …." Tony said the word tentatively.

I could understand if he was not totally reassured. Tiffany had gone with three different guys in the last three months, and, technically at least, she was still going with Derek Hogan, even as she sat there with her hand resting on Tony's arm.

"Now." Tiffany faced me and Ellyce. "You guys are the only ones who haven't revealed any deep, dark secrets. Who wants to go first?"

Silence.

"Come on," Tiffany said. "There must be something."

Silence.

I was thinking that as long as neither of us said anything, Tiffany would get bored and give up and I'd be off the hook. I knew I could hold out as long as Ellyce did.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Ellyce said. "But maybe I should.”

Crap.

Chapter Eleven

I dug my toes deep into the soles of my shoes, and shivered.

"You cold?" Ellyce put her hand on mine.

"Uh, yeah." I grabbed my jacket and slipped it on.

Ellyce looked at my jacket. I'm sure she noticed how thin it was. "I hope the electricity comes back on soon," she said.

The idea that Ellyce was concerned about me warmed me right up.

"Tell your secret, Ellyce," Tiffany demanded.

I felt an icy gloss form in my stomach.

"Well …." Ellyce hesitated, and for a second I had hope. But then she continued. "You, um, you mentioned therapy, Tiffany. Well, um, I'm in therapy too. Sort of."

Therapy? Ellyce?

"What kind of therapy?" Tiffany said, the usual teasing tone completely gone.

Cari, Jeff and Tony leaned forward with interest written all over their faces. I held my breath and hoped that by "therapy" Ellyce meant "counseling," as in talking to the guidance counselor about what colleges to apply to.

"It's a support group," Ellyce said. She took a deep breath. "For people whose parents have addictions." Ellyce turned and looked at me, as if she expected me to say something.

I stared at a candle. I watched the flame flicker and dance. Did Ellyce somehow know about my Dad? Could she read minds, or what?

I didn't say a word. I just kept staring at the candle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ellyce turn back to the others, who sat waiting breathlessly. She didn't disappoint them. "I go to meetings where we help each other with the problems we … we have in common. We share our experiences. We learn about addictions and how they affect families." She looked at me again. "We learn that we're not alone. We learn that someone cares."

There was a long silence. I tried to memorize every flutter and wave of the flame. I dug my toes deeper into my shoes.

Finally, Cari said, "I … I don't understand, Ellyce. Wh-who exactly, uh, has an addiction problem?"

"My mother," Ellyce said so matter-of-factly I could hardly believe it. "She's addicted to some pills. It took me a long time to admit to myself that there was a problem, even after my mother announced she was hooked and was going for counseling herself. I didn't want anyone to know. I guess I thought people would … would think less of
me
if they knew."

At least Ellyce's mother was doing something about her pill popping. And neither of her parents had run off and deserted her.

"No one would think less of you," Cari said.

"No way," Tiffany said. "Friends don't stop liking you just because your mother has a problem."

Jeff and Tony tossed in their reassurances.

I couldn't find my voice. Of course, no one would think less of Ellyce. I sure didn't. But that's 'cause she was practically perfect, plus her problem wasn't as bad as mine.

"
Now
I know it doesn't reflect on me," Ellyce said. "But for a long time, I'd cover for her, thinking even my father wouldn't know. If Mom was too zonked out on pills to cook dinner, I'd make it. I'd act as if Mom did all the work and I'd just helped out a little at the end." She paused, then said, "That's why I'm a pretty good cook now. On-the-job self-training."

I swallowed hard. This was hitting too close to home. I wasn't about to volunteer any secrets. Uh-uh. No way.

"I learned that covering for my mother wasn't helping her," Ellyce said. "Trying to keep everything secret was hurting me. I've talked about this stuff with my support group, and with Matt, and now with you guys. You know what? When I talk about it, I spend less time worrying about it."

Everyone mumbled their agreement. I thought that was the end of that. But then Tiffany chirped, "Wes. We haven't heard from you yet."

"Yeah, well …." I shrugged, hoping everyone would figure I just didn't have any secrets. I scrunched my toes so hard they hurt.

"Come on, Wes." Tiffany drummed her fingers on the mat. "We're waiting."

I looked to Tony and Jeff. They quickly looked away. I'd always told them only what I wanted them to know. I'd made excuses about not having them come into the house. I didn't want them seeing the empty beer bottles or smell the lingering traces of alcohol.

I thought they'd just accepted everything without question. Maybe they didn't ask questions out of … of embarrassment. Or pity. That was it. They probably suspected something. Why wouldn’t they? But they pitied me, so they didn't say anything. Ugh. The last thing I wanted was pity.

Maybe everybody knew. The whole town. Including Ellyce. Maybe Ellyce pitied me too. Maybe that's why she was being nice to me today. The thought of that made my stomach churn.

"Wes." Ellyce placed her hand on my shoulder. "You can share your secrets with us. We'll--"

"Stop!" I pushed Ellyce's hand off my shoulder. "Just stop!" Blood pounded in my head. I jumped to my feet. "Leave me alone!"

I ran out of the room into a tunnel of black. I groped my way down the hall. I hated being alone in the dark, but I had to keep going.

My fingers struck the cold metal of a locker door. I kept my hand against the wall and followed it. I didn't know where I was going, only what I was running from. Trying to get away from my own humiliation.